Mother/Daughter synastry

December 26, 2020 at 13:02 (UT/GMT)
(Sagittarius) moongirl
Mother/Daughter synastry
Hello All,

I would like some insight into the synastry between my daughter and I. I am struggling with how to help her. She continually says that I don´t listen to her. I have done all I know to do at this point, including suggesting therapy. She had trauma in her childhood and this has created a huge chasm between us, one in which I have tried on many occasions to talk with her about, or deal with in any way she wishes to. I am at a loss as to what I can do to help her and to build the bridge between us again. We are not estranged at all, but there have been a few episodes where she exploded on me in such a violent manner I was concerned for my safety. I realize she needs to deal with this issue and that her anger regarding the trauma is directed at me, I just don´t know what else to do to help her. Any help with the energies between us will be appreciated.

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December 27, 2020 at 00:20
System message: Post has been written by user sjór, who already deleted profile on this website:
Will be great if you post here your synastry chart.
December 27, 2020 at 07:22
(Sagittarius) moongirl » sjór
Thanks! I didn´t realize that I had uploaded the incorrect chart. I am blue and she is red.
December 27, 2020 at 09:48
System message: Post has been written by user sjór, who already deleted profile on this website:
There´s still no any picture here.
You can write your dates.
December 27, 2020 at 10:01
(Sagittarius) moongirl » sjór
I am not sure what I am doing incorrectly. I have copied the address into the box several times and saved the .png. However, it is not working.

Here is the birth data:

7:14 pm
Millington, TN

8:19 am
Nashville, TN
December 27, 2020 at 16:02
System message: Post has been written by user sjór, who already deleted profile on this website:
I´m not a professional but major aspects which affect your relationships with your daughter are Moon and Mercury incompatibility, i.e. soul and thinking mutual misunderstanding.
Your Moon is in Cancer, it´s very sensitive, moody, nurturing while your daughter has air Libra moon which may hurt you with it´s superficial attitude. Your moon squares her moon which means conflicts on everyday basis,you don´t understand each other emotionally. Partly this tension may come from some negative past experience (probably that trauma which you mentioned above)
Your ASC squares her moon - your emotional sensitivity comes to her hurted feelings.
Your Cancer ASC squares her Aries ASC- different opinions on things in general. You should accept your difference and use it as an opportunity to learn new from each other.

Besides this you have your Sagittarius Sun squaring her Aquarius Sun.
Often this aspect causes ego issues. One feels stronger in terms of self manifestation than another. As a rule leading is that person, whose sun is energetically stronger. It´s very important to find compromise between you two to avoid severe problems.
At the same time, you´ve got a supportive aspect: your daughter´s ASC trine your Sun- it´s a good aspect for cooperation and communication without rivalry.

Than you have your Saturn in exact conjunction to her Sun. It´s a challenging aspect in terms of energies because Sun person (your daughter) may feel restricted by your structured, disciplined approach to her. It´s an aspect of great wisdom and teaching and is seen as "child-parent" relationships. Energy (sun) combining with sense of security (saturn) it´s very important to find and keep balance between Saturn´s seriousness, responsibility and Sun vital energy. Sometimes sun person may feel threat/ fear from Saturn because of Saturn´s pressure especially in a young age.
Keep balance between these energies, try to be easier with your daughter regarding your practical and serious opinions to make them more affordable for her comprehension.

As for Mercuries which tell about the way how we think and communicate.
Your daughter´s Mercury is in water Pisces and is in the 12th house in Whole Sign system.
This means that she has naturally subconscious mind, her decisions are usually made based on her emotions, not a logical thinking.
Your Mercury is in Sagittarius, in the 6 th house. It´s in a fire sign and you are more open and energetic in your expression and statements.

You have your Cancer moon trine your daughter´s Pisces Mercury - overall it´s very good and harmonious aspect. Your soul understands the way your daughter thinks, that´s why you understand and want to help her with your problem.
But taking the wider orbis (6 degrees) we can see that your fire Mercury squares her water Mercury - you are very different in your thoughts expression. It´s all about constant tension in your opinions. Again it´s a matter of finding compromises and diplomacy. It´s a hard aspect for mutual understanding.
Your Virgo Mars squares your daughter´s Pisces Mercury- the way you express yourself may seem a bit impulsive to your daughter while you may consider her as indecisive and passive. All this needs a lot of patience from both sides unless conflicts are normal for you.

Another one exact conjunction- your Pisces Chiron conjuncts your daughter´s Pisces Mercury. Chiron represents a "wounded healer" asteroid which can heal past traumas and in case of blending energies (conjunction) it mean that you can both heal each other by communicating. The verbal expression and communication style of one partner touches the deepest wound of the other partner.
Mercury-Chiron aspects can be challenging. The hard aspects can make communication hard in the relationship, or at least infused with old pain. This comes to the surface as the relationship unfolds. The Mercury person unconsciously triggers the Chiron person. If feels like they tear up the old wounds. It´s essential to be mature with each other and understand that you can heal but be aware of not hurting each other with words. You should be more delicate in your communication.
Having your Chiron in sign of Pisces just adds that natural tendency for healing and empathic attitude towards people around.

I´d pay attention also to your composite chart. And you have there composite Sun square Pluto.
It´s a hard aspect in synastry. Ego and power issues, controlling, fear of loss, physical and emotional may be common in your relationships. Anyway it is very deep and transformative thing.

Overall, I´d say it´s not a bad synastry at all. You have a lot of supporting and benefiting aspects, like Jupiter trine Venus - it´s that ability to build up the bridges. If it´s ok to ask, did your daughter have childhood traumas with family or what kind of trauma is she still carrying?
Have you looked at her own birth chart?
December 28, 2020 at 15:08
(Sagittarius) moongirl » sjór
Thank you Peregrine for your thoughtful, and comprehensive reply.

I am a novice at best, but, yes, I have looked at her chart. With her AC in Aries and mars in first house, she presents with a strong personality and can seem quite combative in her communication and approach to any conflict. She will yell and bully a person into submission to make herself heard. The trauma is seen in these moments. She was unable to assert herself and there was no one there to protect her, so the buried rage comes out in these moments when she feels that she is not seen or heard. The trauma was with a family member, whom she has confronted, but no longer sees.

She received counseling for years to deal with the trauma, but refuses counseling as an adult. She has done a lot of healing work with meditation and has attended several retreats as an adult. This has helped, and we have had several talks regarding the break in our relationship. I have tried to be sensitive to her needs, but I think she sees me as uncaring and insensitive in my approach. We have talked at length about this.

Our synastry also shows that my moon is in her fourth, and her moon is in my fourth. There is a definite bond and familiarity with each other. I know that we love each other, I also know that she doesn´t feel loved by me. I don´t know what to do to help her understand how much I do and always have.

This coming July we are going to a silent retreat for 10 days. I hope this will bring continued healing for us both.

Thank you again for your reply.
December 29, 2020 at 02:44
(Taurus) » moongirl
System message: Post has been written by user sjór, who already deleted profile on this website:
Thank you for sharing your information.
I looked at her chart. Indeed, she has strong Aries influence, her Mars is in her 1st house, that´s impulsive at first glance. As for traumatic indications- she has Chiron in the 3d house- house of communication with people and closest circle (including relatives, siblings),basic education,mental abilities, journeys.
Chiron here tells about deepest wound residing in communication. This could mean constant feelings of being misunderstood or not being listened to. It can also show unintentional or intentional insults in childhood that have left a persy with low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy.
And she has Chiron opposition Saturn, that means conflicts with authority figures, also can be father or any other significant male figure in family. This aspect is about wounds, fears of not finding respect,that people don´t take you seriously- this leads to rigid behaviour to deflect attention from hidden sensitivity. First of all its important to take responsibility on her own, to learn to trust her own authority.
You can read more about this aspect here:…

She also has black moon lilith in the 4th house, and even if you don´t pay too much attention to this fiction point, it has a big meaning in terms of traumas and incorrect house perception where it is located. Lilith here is difficult. It says about harsh childhood times, fears, rejection by parents or at least by one of them, secrets connected to person´s lineage. A person may feel like a black sheep in his family.
She has in her natal chart Mars squaring her Lilith, which may add aggressive behaviour ( Mars in the 1st house, house of our personality) towards family members (for ex. towards you).

You are very right, you both have your moons in the 4th house of each other and this is very supportive and binding because you feel familiar to each other even with those hard moon aspects.It certainly helps to smooth the hardest moments in your communication.
She doesn´t feel loved by you probably because she is stuck in her traumatic past, and moreover,you write that she refuses to receive counseling in her current age. Why? Does she feel good after this refuse? Unlikely. She must come to her own understanding that she wants to do this, not that she has to but wants, wants to heal herself.

I´d recommend to look at her transits from time to time and plan retreat therapy according to them. Especially if you already are going to take them in July.
By the way, now she has her transit Mars conjuncted her natal Mars. This transit is characterized by abundance of energy which should be controlled well unless it may be aggressive. Also transit Sun squaring her ASC- there might be a tendency to dominate and it´s also very energetic.
I think this will help you to feel better these challenging energies and work on them together.

Best wishes and Happy New year!

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