I was trying to fix a relationship while he expected me to be loyal but he hid an entire side-relation for months

October 11, 2020 at 08:35 (UT/GMT)
(Cancer) Rosaline
I was trying to fix a relationship while he expected me to be loyal but he hid an entire side-relation for months
I had a recent experience and I wanted to know what would be a better decision to make. I had been in a relationship with a guy for almost 2 years

On new year´s eve my boyfriend broke up with me but stayed in contact with me. He would still act jealous, possessive and get upset if I do something wrong. In April, I had started feeling for someone that made him uspet so much that he asked me to stay, begged me in fact. We had decided to fix things and were unofficially together. He actually kinda shamed me too for hiding stuff from him.

But on 1st September he confessed that he had sexted someone after he had begged me to stay cause he thought I was gonna leave him, I was upset but I forgave him cause it was a mistake and he was regretting it

But two days ago I came to know that on 5th Feb he had gone out with a girl, made out and sexted, normally I would let it go cause...we were broken up, but I saw my text history and back then he would text me "I miss you" with heart emojis, I love you, and plan to have a make out session with me and stuff.

This other relationship he had....he said he had tried to end it but he couldn´t he felt trapped, he was uncomfortable, he ended it like a week ago. He had sexted on 4th September right after promising me not to and never specified these details while coming clean. (Like...if he was so uncomfortable and trapped why not just leave? Or just talk to me about it?) I made so many connections from so many of his lies now. I had asked him personally a lot of he had something for this one particular girl cause she was acting very weirdly possessive, she would say things that....seemed like something had happened. But he would fabricate answers and even talk shit about her at times. He even used to say in anger (to me) "you are becoming as dumb as her, you are becoming as psychotic as her"

The other girl is equally devastated cause she thought she could be something special, I had to comfort her so much I didn´t like to see her downgrade herself to a side chick. She didn´t even know that we were fixing things, she thought I was just some special friend cause that´s what he used to keep saying to her

The guy keeps saying that he loves me and always had, he was just attracted, he just had "a diversion on 4th September" and wants me to take him back, keeps saying he would fix things.

He would keep saying that one line in every similar situation "we weren´t dating, we weren´t together" but when I had a feeling for someone he had shamed me a lot and especially when I had said that line to him

But....I just feel that my self esteem had been hurt to such a point that idk what exactly I should do, I can´t even look at myself in the mirror cause whenever I do I question what did I do wrong and how this could have been avoided

I just don´t know whether I should forgive him or not. I don´t know hwere

TLDR: Me and my Ex were trying to fix things post break up, but it seemed like I was the only one being loyal and trying my best while he hid a lot of hurtful things from me. He expected me to be loyal to him, he used to act possessive but he himself never was.

I just want to see if astrology has any explaination as to what the hell is going on, someone with such high priniciples, someone i loved so much....how could they do that?

This is Mine( cancer sun) and the Guy´s ( scorpio sun) synastry: https://imgur.com/q4yUCeu

This is the other girl´s (Cancer Moon) and the guy´s (virgo moon) synastry, they share the same scorpion sun :

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October 11, 2020 at 08:59
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32
Looking at the charts, it seems you´re all learning about mirroring and energy in relationships. And this happens all the time. This comes down to what you and your partner feel about relationships. What kind of rules are appropriate and acceptable in your relationship and what are not.

Since your all Scorpio´s it´s not a pretty picture. And you have to make some choices here or else of course there´s going to be jealousy, secrets, and mystery. This is just Scorpio lessons about being transparent, open, honest, and not hiding anything.

As the person stated, "You weren´t together", and if you agree you were not together at the time, then obviously, this shouldn´t even be bothering you at this time. It should be left in the past and move forward. While I know that is hard, that is another lesson about not holding on to grudges, dwelling, and focusing on the past, and just having a final discussion about it and leaving it where it belongs in the past.

I´d say you´d have to have a discussion about not hiding information. For the other person, it´s probably good your partner and you disconnect from the person and set personal boundaries if you desire to have a relationship, because three Scorpio´s don´t always get along in a relationship, but I know some try too. A lot of emotional and mental pain when they do.

You didn´t do anything wrong, the other person is just mirroring the same energy. And naturally he attracts that energy in partners. Which obviously, now he knows this and has to decide what his values are in relationships. And what relationship matters the most.
October 11, 2020 at 09:34
(Cancer) Rosaline » goldenlion32
The problem is post break-up, the guy would act possessive towards me, beg me not go with someone else, flirt, say I love you and i miss you WHILE he was with someone else.
He had lied a lot of times when I would openely question about his attractions, i was honest about mine. as I said, when I fell for someone he had dragged me out of the guy´s claws and would later shame me for falling for someone else, when in fact he was STILL with someone else.

The sad part is even if he says he was uncomfortable with the girl, he wasnt in love with her and all, he still stayed until recently which is very weird.

Not only did he hurt me but he had hurt the other girl a lot too cause she thought things could be special between them, she had asked about us too but he lied to her as well.

Upon asking, he cannot explain why he did all that, he never loved her, he never wanted to do all this but then why?
October 11, 2020 at 09:41
(Taurus) Iceblu333
...How did I know he was a Scorpio... before I even looked at the chart... :61:

End it... and block him on everything. Move on... Simple...

He´s going to do the same thing with other gullible women when he gets tired of stringing you two along.

But easier said than done I guess...

No further comment.
October 11, 2020 at 10:02
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » Rosaline
Understandable...fortunately, you just have to let go of the guy and move on. Otherwise realize Scorpio is raw animal sexual attraction. This is all about learning to separate Scorpio energy with boundaries, growing, maturing, and evolving. A Scorpio in general never likes to be betrayed. Usually is focused on the past, holds grudges for years if it involves the Sun or Moon in Scorpio.

This is all about natural primal instincts. And laser focus, locking on, and locking off, obsession, and any conjuncts two Scorpio´s have or connections usually is how it tends to become the focal point.

Many men don´t have to love a women for sexual gratification. And it sounds like perhaps he gives into that sexual energy quite easy. This is just what happens in Scorpio relationships. Usually you do get hurt because it´s also about one becoming aware of their Scorpio energy, and stop the manipulation, the seduction, the psychological games, and everyone Scorpio has the same lesson here.

Some of them just have more Scorpio Planets then others. It´s more about the shadow side of Scorpio and whether he makes an effort to change those behaviors. The question of why he lied, he must ask himself, and usually is found in the past in childhood and parenting, and also past romantic relationships.

Scorpio´s in the earlier stages when younger can be quite dominate, obsessive, and they don´t like sharing partners. They are more about commitment. They do get tempted a lot, and have to make an effort to choose wisely or they end up in these situations where the stingers come out. This is all about emotional, mental, spiritual, sexual death (Orgasm). and obviously relationships are always transformed when you´re talking about this archetype.

From what you´re stating he´s was in that stage of believing when he´s in a relationship he "owns" the other person. And obviously, the other person is always competition. It´s kind of like to bucks (Deer) with their antlers locked and fighting one another for a Doe. Scorpio is primal and not any different then wild life.

A Scorpio women can enter a room and attract all kinds of Scorpio Men. And it´s kind of like in nature one day when I was watching a female duck, the troop of male ducks just followed her around and she was swatting them off.

Probably not as extreme as a human being, but Scorpio energy is Scorpio energy. Primal need to create and co-create. We just have a choice to set personal boundaries, control our selves, or give into that sexual need.

Scorpio also makes emotional attachments as both feminine are wired this way and the feelings can be quite deep intimacy. Really, there was no way for either one of you to not get emotionally attached if you were focused on the same guy, allowed him in your space, formed an emotional and intimate bond with him.

"Though she could have something special." And of course, as the feminine in our younger years we think this many times and get hurt. Where the masculine may have it a bit more easier to emotionally detach from the situation, since they usually do compartmentalize, and fragment the feminine and have distorted view from sexual entertainment. There´s the fantasy life and the real life. The question is was she just the fantasy, and your the real life. Hard to say, because we´re not the guy, and we can´t really say what his motivations or intentions with either one of you was to begin with.

Shame, blame, and guilt is more a Virgo/Pisces energy.

These are normal every day issues we all have in relationships about power, control, dominance versus submission, how we communicate, and how we make one feel.
October 11, 2020 at 18:01
(Virgo) rohini moon
young affairs of the heart.... Seems like the end of the world now, when you´re an adult, you´ll look back on this and laugh.

youre 19, enjoy your youth.
October 11, 2020 at 18:19
(Aries) ram_goat » rohini moon
Yes, this one is too young still, for astrology.

Too much drama & trauma.

I want 5 minutes of my life back..
October 11, 2020 at 19:02
(Pisces) fishscales » rohini moon
To merp or not to merp, that is the question...
October 11, 2020 at 19:05
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » rohini moon
Yes, at 19 I thought it was the end of the world with the first heart break! Cried for days!
October 11, 2020 at 19:09
(Virgo) rohini moon » fishscales
:24: is always the answer. When in astroseek-doubt, :24: <--- is the answer
October 11, 2020 at 19:11
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » rohini moon
Ha ha..Merp always reminds me of burping for some reason.
October 11, 2020 at 19:11
(Virgo) rohini moon » goldenlion32
Yep, I thought things that weren´t important and mattered---- mattered GREATLY at 18/19

I just shake my head thinking about it. Of course. If you tell the 18/19 year olds going through whatever, that it isn´t a big deal as they are making it, they think you´re the biggest a-hole to walk the planet :61:
October 11, 2020 at 19:26
(Pisces) fishscales » rohini moon
A taste for simplicity in relationships is usually something that is acquired with age...

But not always...

I´d say what happens between the ages of 24-27 are of critical importance in terms of how we view and handle relationships for the rest of our lives...we either gain maturity, perspective, and realism, or continue trodding down the angst and drama ridden path...

Refinements, tweaks, and maybe even some revelations can occur into our mid 30s...and by 35, our relationship style has pretty much fully formed, for better or worse...

Of course there are exceptions, but I think that´s generally how it goes...
October 11, 2020 at 19:38
(Aries) ram_goat » fishscales
And a 19 year old won´t understand that for 9 more years, at best.

But while a modern 19 year old can´t understand much, people living thousands of years ago understood this quite well..

Marcus Aurelius:

A cucumber is bitter.- Throw it away.
There are briars in the road.- Turn aside from them.
This is enough. Do not add, And why were such things made in the world?

For thou wilt be ridiculed by a man who is acquainted with nature, as thou wouldst be ridiculed by a carpenter and shoemaker if thou didst find fault because thou seest in their workshop shavings and cuttings from the things which they make.
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October 11, 2020 at 20:06
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » ram_goat
Solon is one of my favorites!
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October 11, 2020 at 21:25
(Aquarius) Leo Moon » ram_goat
Those are good words from Marcus Aurelius.

I had never read that before.

So Your 5 minutes were not wasted as they did educate me.

Regarding relationships and everything else I keep Mick and Keith’s words from The Rolling Stones’ song in mind.

“ You can’t always get what You want.
...but if You try sometimes, You just might find,...... You get what You need.”
October 11, 2020 at 23:48
(Pisces) fishscales » ram_goat
Marcus was writing for a world that did not have to deal with social media, cell phones, "sexting", etc...

And even then, alot of people still didn´t know what he was talking about

These younger generations...I feel bad for them... They have to unlearn the idiocy of Facebook and snapchat before they can even move on to the real lessons...

October 11, 2020 at 23:54
(Pisces) fishscales » Leo Moon
“ You can’t always get what You want.
...but if You try sometimes, You just might find,...... You get what You need.”

Always found alot of wisdom in those lyrics...

Nowadays, the lyrics would probably be... "Fuck what I need, I get what I want bitch!

And if I don´t... I´ll shoot a motherfucker..."

This is of course seen as "hard" and "cool"... Or something that "slaps"....
October 12, 2020 at 01:32
(Virgo) rohini moon » fishscales
"Fuck what I need, I get what I want bitch!

It´s lit, bro.
October 12, 2020 at 01:44
(Virgo) rohini moon » fishscales
Or something that "slaps"...

:61: their modern slang sucks.
October 12, 2020 at 17:36
(Pisces) fishscales » rohini moon
"their modern slang sucks."

Actually...it slaps... :4:

(why is there no slapping emoji??)
October 12, 2020 at 17:56
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » fishscales
Since we had sling shots, be easy to hit everyone in the head at the moment staring at their mobile phones and they wouldn´t see it coming! :61:
October 12, 2020 at 18:03
(Pisces) fishscales » goldenlion32
No they wouldn´t.

When my kids were younger we used to make these stupid videos of them looking at a phone and walking into doors and stuff

Now that they´re older they´re kind of like that in real life :61:
October 12, 2020 at 18:13
(Virgo) rohini moon » fishscales
Actually...it slaps... :4:

What does this even mean though? Like "Hardy har har! Dat dem dere is knee-slappin funny!" ?
October 12, 2020 at 18:25
(Pisces) fishscales » rohini moon
"What does this even mean though?"

From Urban Dictionary:

"A slang a lot of teenagers use when they understand, fell to something, or relate to something.


Person 1: *plays song*
Person 1: “Wow, isn’t that heart filled?”
Person 2: “Yea bro, that slaps.”
by DumbFatRatBitch March 01, 2020"
October 12, 2020 at 18:27
(Pisces) fishscales » fishscales
I used slaps as a negative though, because I think slaps sucks.
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