What went wrong?

September 16, 2020 at 05:58 (UT/GMT)
(Sagittarius) Kismet
What went wrong?
So, you know how the old story goes.

I met a guy online about three years ago. Then, before even I knew what was happening, my fond friendship quickly turned into me having more serious feelings for him, and before I knew it I was pouring out my heart and soul to him. I think I terrified him, as I was rejected outright.

Much to my surprise, over the past few months, we have recconected and made an attempt at repairing our friendship. I don´t know if it´s because he still plays a big part in my life, but despite his rejection, I still feel such a strong attraction to him that I just can´t reign in or rationalize. I want to know his deepest thoughts, but I feel like something stops him from expressing the most simple things to me.

I just wish I knew what it is about me was so incompatible to his chart and what, if anything in them caused such a conflict, and why I can´t seem to quit him. I also wish I knew why I felt from the get-go like our meeting was fated to happen in some way. Or am I just crazy?

I should note that I´ve never been very lucky when it comes to relationships with men in general. I´ve never been in a romantic relationship, and I always seem to fall at the last hurdle unless I bend over backward in an attempt to get them to notice me, which is not really in my nature as I´m very shy.

Is there hope for me at all with this guy? I wish to save our friendship at least, even if there is no hope romantically speaking, as deep down I feel guilty, and almost like I took advantage of his friendship by falling head over heels.
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