One sided love or it just couldn´t work? Please help.

July 20, 2020 at 03:57 (UT/GMT)
(Cancer) VelvetSky
One sided love or it just couldn´t work? Please help.
Hi everyone.
I´m new in astrology, still learning to interpret natal chart but I have limited knowledge on how to interpret synastry chart. I´d truly appreciate if anyone could kindly interpret my synastry chart with my man, together with your opinion and feedback. My birth details and his D.O.B is accurate, except that he might born many hours earlier.
And I have few questions in regards to synastry chart attached. I´m the one inside the chart (blue signs), and my man´s sign are shown at the outer chart (red sign).

https://ibb.co/B2VV8D6

Short intro
He is 31 years old, 6 years younger than I am. We met online a year ago, communicate a lot with each other everyday, confessed our feelings to each other and mostly in a long distance relationship. It´s feels like we have known each other for a long time, and we both feel this strong familiarity between us. We came from a totally different culture, religion and background. To prove that I´m serious in this relationship, I´ve visited him 6 times at his country.


My questions are:-
1) Why am I the only one who is too eager to get him, please him, do everything for him while he didn´t much for me or our relationship? I would like to know if anyone could show me the aspects, or midpoints or planets placement which indicate my longing for him and desire to have him as mine.
2) I´ve read that any planet´s placement in second house synastry indicates the person will spoil or spend their money on you. But in my case, it´s the other way around. It´s me who spent a lot of money and gifts on him, including giving him the money when he asked (he is poor and financially not as good as I am)
3) Judging from the synastry placement and aspects, could you let me know who is emotionally deeply affected in this relationship? Who feels more? Why is that? Is it because of the midpoint aspects? Or his planets almost touching my IC? Or any past karma issue between us?
4) He promised me so many things at the beginning of our relationship, including to marry me. However after almost a year, he started to abuse me verbally and have said so many unkind words to me. Should I give him a chance and wait for him to marry me?
5) I know synastry chart didn´t tell that a couple will get married or breakup, but in your opinion should I continue this relationship or just end it? I was alone without any relationship for almost 10 years before I met him, it took me many many years to heal after my previous related had failed. And when we started our relationship, it feels like he has taken a part of my soul. I afraid that when I lose him, that will shatter my core being and break me into pieces.

I´d hope anyone could provide their insight and perspectives based on the synastry chart given. And I truly appreciate your advice on how I could handle this relationship.

Thank you so much.
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July 20, 2020 at 10:11
(Capricorn) Ghost00
Bonjour velvetsky,

Comment allez-vous? Ces types de questions se posent souvent avec certaines configurations. Hier encore, une autre affiche en parlait.

Le problème est qu´il est une créature sauvage, mi-homme mi-cheval sauvage. Ce type d´homme doit être attrapé et apprivoisé comme un animal sauvage mais comme un animal sauvage avec des dents et des griffes, cela peut être tout à fait une épreuve. Il y a des mesures que vous pouvez prendre, nous pourrons en discuter plus tard via pm. :1: :78:
July 20, 2020 at 12:48
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user Dharma212, who already deleted profile on this website:
=====
What´s wrong with you women and these losers, really!!

Do you really need astrology to tell you what is so obvious?

Just dump the loser and focus on healing your relationship wounds. Obviously, you still have a lot of work to do on that.

You will continue to attract hostile/aggressive partners to you until you heal your love life, and stop seeking out relationships from a place of need and lack.

As long as you are coming from a place of need and lack, men will abuse you. And if they are not abusers by nature, you - by your own attitude of need, lack, and desperation - would create bad attitudes and habits on them.

Stop trying to "fix" men who are not worthy of being fixed. He is obviously a loser. Wake up and smell the coffee.

I don´t mean to be rude, but you do need a "wake up call" regarding relationships.
July 20, 2020 at 12:48
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user MarvinReal, who already deleted profile on this website:
=====
All your charts are very impressive. I checked many methods. :68:
https://bit.ly/2OJ5oHw

BUT, you are older than him, and richer than him. Which makes that relationship in a way, that he doesn´t want to marry an older woman, and also he cannot marry a woman if he will not be able to provide for her. This is very sensitive for men. Some men would temporarily accept such scenario, if they have to, but most men would feel like a crap, if they cannot bring money to a table. Theoretically, he can have more money than you think. I heard about very wealthy Vietnamese, who are thriving. So maybe he has money and keeping it for a wedding, buying a house, and other important things he expects in the near term. A bottom line is that he probably won´t marry you, and he isn´t serious about you, if he doesn´t say so, nota bene if he is promising and not delivering, and having intentional bad behaviours towards you.
July 20, 2020 at 13:05
(Taurus) Morena_Lu
You are 832 code, so, you really want a family, you see yourself through partnership and marriage, also because your life path is 2(Cancer /moon) you have a need to nurture others...

8(Scorpio/Mars) 3(Mercury) 2(Cancer/Moon) combination..

Still, he is younger, and you are giving him money...It is ok to help someone, but you said that he promised you to marry you..and he is now abusing you verbally...From my point of view this is not a healthy relationship..You met him in your personal year 2, and you thought that he is your destiny..Maybe you should think twice about it, you deserve something true and someone who will be there for you and support you.
:)
July 20, 2020 at 17:39
(Cancer) VelvetSky
Hi ghost00,
May I ask what do you mean by half human, half horse? Based on our synastry chart, could you explain further on that?

Hi Dharma,
Thank you for your reply. No, you´re not rude. I understood what are you trying to explain. Exactly, that´s what I´ve been telling to myself recently since I´ve just realized that I´ve been doing so much for our relationship compared to what he´s been doing all this while. I´m surprised that how could I surrendered myself to him so easily, and I´m so desperately wanted him to be with me. People around me know I´m the kind of person who is very independent and could be considered as a feminist ( not too much actually but still..). So I´m quite ashamed of myself for chasing after a man who is seems losing interest on me recently. Well, I just want to prove that I´m serious and truly committed for this relationship.
Answering your question, no I don´t need astrology to tell me whether I should stay or leave. I believe in free will. The reason why I posted those questions is because I´m so curious, what makes me and him get together very fast (it´s mutual), we even planning to be together and get married soon. But after many months, he´s no longer the same man I knew. From astrology perspective, (especially synastry), what could you tell from our synastry chart?


Hi MarvinReal, thank you for your reply. At the beginning of our relationship, everything went well,even planning for our future to be together. I don´t mind to pay for his driving school lessons so he could get driving license (that´s his dream, he told me). I would say that I´m not rich but financially ok. I´m so generous towards him, buying him stuffs and gifts. Due to his poor life, he never been able to get me any gifts. By the way, what makes you said that he´s probably won´t marry me or being serious towards our relationship? Could you kindly let me know if any of our synastry aspect shows that we´re not meant to be together?


Hi Morena, thank you for your response. Your explanation is interesting, but I couldn´t really catch the meaning. Could you please explain further what is code 832 means? And based on our synastry chart aspects and placements, in your opinion is he the right person for me? Or we´re not compatible at all?

Hi bluerosepetals, lovely answer you have there. At first, I was helping him financially with his driving lessons fees and lavished him with many gifts. I did that not because I want to impress him or buy him with my money, but it´s because I love him too much. After few months, he started asking me money to pay for him debts. And till now he keeps telling me that he will pay whatever money I´ve spent or lent him. Having his sun and Jupiter in my second house, makes me wonder whether he´s
the one who should provide financial security towards me, or I´m the one who should provide money to him? Could you tell me if there´s any indicator in our synastry chart that show abusive behavior?

Regards.
July 20, 2020 at 19:22
(Taurus) Morena_Lu » VelvetSky
His code 393 (mercury /neptune/mercury)
I think that he is a player, more about talk..less about work..He will promise you a lot ..but I am not sure what you will get in the end.

I really don´t like what I read about that relationship, it is more like you are his mother, not a real partner. You are giving him money, gifts..he is abusing you...It is very childish if you ask me..Still, maybe we are not all the same, personally I would never like this kind of relationship with anyone..

Life path 3 is very talkative, and without some support of 4 or 8..it is just talk..Yeah, they can be very charismatic and smart, but still they will behave immature..And he is 393..Also, that second number is about his career, not sure if he is that much about work, 9 is Neptune energy(art, healing, spirituality)..
July 20, 2020 at 19:45
(Cancer) VelvetSky » Morena_Lu
LOL,you got it right, Morena. Recently I feel I´m like a mother to him, not a partner. He promised me many things in the beginning, now it´s like he is totally forgotten about it. When you mention he had code 393 and less about work, I could relate that his situation where he was jobless at times.
And Morena, may I know how do you calculate and get the code? Is the calculation comes from the synastry or natal aspects?

Regards.
July 20, 2020 at 20:05
(Taurus) Morena_Lu » VelvetSky
I will send you calculations;)

But, I want to give you a friendly advice, next time use that money and go to the gym, dance, buy yourself a beautiful dress instead of giving money to that man. You deserve love, a real one, don´t settle for less, please! I wish you luck and to find something true and wonderful!:))
July 20, 2020 at 20:13
(Virgo) rohini moon » VelvetSky
You should listen to Morena´s advice on what to do with the money... :79: :80: :74:
July 20, 2020 at 20:29
(Taurus) Morena_Lu » rohini moon
:37: :3:
July 20, 2020 at 20:33
(Virgo) rohini moon » Morena_Lu
:37: :79: :80:
July 20, 2020 at 21:27
(Capricorn) Ghost00 » VelvetSky
Sagittarie is half human, half wild horse and he is holding a weapon and is preparing to use it. Sidereal chart has sagittarie influence for your subject male. Note: Sagittarie is further broken down into three chateaux, and one is the worst. That chateau appears to be active and possible small assemblie from reading chart correlations. There are thirty six chateaux en zodiac Mon cheri
July 21, 2020 at 02:12
(Cancer) VelvetSky » rohini moon
Oh, absolutely RohiniMoon. About 2 months ago he asked me if I could help him to pay his debt and lend him $700. The last time I hiave him money was in January, to pay for the debt and the loan was applied under his mother´s name. I told him that my savings is depleted now, and I afraid I couldn´t help him this time. Moreover, he still didn´t return or pay previous money which I´ve lent to him total up to almost $1500 during a year we´re being together. And that´s only the money which I´ve given to him, not include total cost trips of my visit to his country, and all other gifts.
He was upset he couldn´t get the money this time, and blaming me for not helping him and disappeared during the time when he really need my help. He said he thought that since we are together and will be married soon, he could rely on me. But he never expect that I will disappoint him.


Yes, now I spend my hard earn money to buy beauty stuffs and health supplements. I remember he frequently told me to lose some weight because I look prettier if I could reduce 70 kg to 50 kg at least. Sometimes he will jokingly call me fat, hippopotamus or pig. It´s strange that during our early relationship, he never complain anythingabout me being fat or older than him. Only after few months, suddenly he talked about my physical being. Honestly, I never feel so ugly and hideous when the person I love criticize my physiycs looks in a non constructing manner.

After my salary is out end of this month, I will get a new clothes for myself :-;
July 21, 2020 at 02:43
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » VelvetSky
System message: Post has been written by user Dharma212, who already deleted profile on this website:
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"Hi Dharma,"


Hi!


"Thank you for your reply."


Sure, you are most welcome!


"No, you´re not rude. I understood what are you trying to explain. Exactly, that´s what I´ve been telling to myself recently since I´ve just realized that I´ve been doing so much for our relationship compared to what he´s been doing all this while."


Great! I am glad that you are able to see that.


"I´m surprised that how could I surrendered myself to him so easily, and I´m so desperately wanted him to be with me. People around me know I´m the kind of person who is very independent and could be considered as a feminist ( not too much actually but still..). So I´m quite ashamed of myself for chasing after a man who is seems losing interest on me recently."


No need to ashamed; we are only human, :62:


"Well, I just want to prove that I´m serious and truly committed for this relationship."


He isn´t worthy of your efforts, my friend. And don´t ever put yourself in the position of having to "prove" yourself to any man. When we need to "prove" ourselves to anyone, there is something seriously wrong with that dynamic.


"Answering your question, no I don´t need astrology to tell me whether I should stay or leave. I believe in free will."


Yes, I understand. I wasn´t referring to free will. What I meant is that is was/is obvious that he is just a loser you don´t need in your life. By his actions, it should be enough to realize that. You don´t need astrology to tell you that.


"The reason why I posted those questions is because I´m so curious, what makes me and him get together very fast (it´s mutual), we even planning to be together and get married soon."


It doesn´t really matter. I don´t want to invest too much time analyzing something that isn´t going to solve anything, anyway. Anyway, you said you are not sure of his current birth time. So I would be losing my time for nothing.


"But after many months, he´s no longer the same man I knew. From astrology perspective, (especially synastry), what could you tell from our synastry chart?"


As I said, it just doesn´t matter. You are just desperately trying to hold on to something to justify the relationship, my friend.


Just read what most posters here have already told you. They explained everything in accurate details. And they were correct in their analysis. I don´t want to sound repetitive by saying the same things they have already told you.


You need to focus on working on your wounded self-esteem and hope/Faith factor: Chiron (our deepest wounds) in the 2nd (self-esteem) opposite Jupiter (faith, hope).


You have very challenging placements/aspects in your chart that you really need to work on.


You are a Scorpio Descendant (relationships). The traditional ruler of Scorpio is Mars. And that ruler (Mars) is debilitated (in Cancer Mars gets debilitated) in your 3rd house (communications) and conjunct Mercury in Gemini.


Mars-Mercury - especially a debilitated Cancer Mars - is well known for creating a very bad temper. And that debilitated Mars is also conjunct your Cancer Sun. Of course, being in Cancer, this could manifest as a passive aggressive temper.


Now, I don´t know if the trine between that Mars and a more gentle Pieces Moon, makes you to be able to control - or to not manifest that much - the usual bad temper that Mars-Mercury and Mars-Sun can manifest. But in any case - I think it does attract to you aggressive and bad-tempered partners, regardless of any bad temper or passive aggressiveness from yourself.


Then you have Saturn (restrictions, limitations) conjunct your Descendant from the 6th house. And you also have Pluto conjunct your Descendant from the 6th. Those heavy planets in the 6th can create many restrictions, barriers, and painful transformations in your daily life. Be careful with your health, and try to stay on healthy diets.


Now, Pluto conjunct a Scorpio Descendant can be a real killer for two reasons:


1. It can attract to you manipulative, domineering, controlling partners. The insidiously abusive types, you know.


2. It can make you extremely obsessive towards unhealthy relationships, being totally unwilling to let go of those you KNOWN you should let go of. In other words, you totally self-sabotage yourself in relationships. You are your OWN worst enemy in relationships.


Add the Saturn-Descendant conjunction to the mix, and you are a VERY unlucky individual in relationships!!


To make it even worse, you currently have transiting Saturn and Pluto square your natal Pluto and Saturn that are both conjunct your Descendant. See the stressful/challenging scenario/situation?


You are definitely not in an adequate emotional/spiritual state to be playing with unhealthy relationships now. You really, really, really (did I say "really"?) need to focus on healing your self-esteem wounds and your lack of faith and hope.


Just grab yourself by the scruff of your neck, and sit in front of a computer, and google all the different ways (healing techniques) to heal our self-esteem. Google for the best books on that, and just get to work on yourself.


Will you listen to any of this? No, you probably won´t. Most probably than not, you will continue to obsess over this loser - or any other loser of life - and 2-5 years from now, I´ll see another post from your about the same thing.


Want to prove me wrong? Oh, I would love that! Just message me (a PM) and ask me for recommendations on what to read and what to do, but don´t bother me with more questions about this guy and your "need to understand". The only thing you need to understand is that you need to heal your self-esteem. Because it is rock-bottom low.


Sorry for the straightforwardness and bluntness. I know you can take it, :-). And I want to help you; but I can only help those who really want to help themselves without excuses.


So whenever you are ready, I will be, :-). Best of luck!
July 21, 2020 at 02:51
(Cancer) VelvetSky » Ghost00
Ghost00, your answer is quite interesting. I didn´t know that he has Sagittarius influence according to sidereal chart, because I only paid attention to our synastry and composite chart, as well as his natal chart. Not sure if it´s my sensitive Cancer sun and Pisces moon that no longer could tolerate his
his moon-mars in Cancer tantrum.
May I ask, does he having Sagittarius influence indicates that we´re not actually compatible or our character really clash with each other? I´d truly appreciate if you could explain further on this.
Thank you.
July 21, 2020 at 04:15
(Cancer) VelvetSky » Dharma212
Hi Dharma212.

You don´t have to say sorry for being straightforward and blunt in your answer. You´re right when you said I could take it. I value truth and honesty above all, because it won´t hurt me as much as lies and deception could do.

[Quote] - ´You are definitely not in an adequate emotional/spiritual state to be playing with unhealthy relationships now. You really, really, really (did I say "really"?) need to focus on healing your self-esteem wounds and your lack of faith and hope´

I almost cried when I read your statement above. It´s true that I still neglect my old wound till now, and my self esteem is really low since I was a child. I feel that by making him happy and giving him all the love I have, that could heal my old wound and scars. Being abused emotionally and verbally while I´m still stand strong to defend this related is making me really ill inside. It´s like my love for him is draining my energy and weaken my soul everytime he started to abuse me verbally and emotional.


[Quote] - ´ Will you listen to any of this? No, you probably won´t. Most probably than not, you will continue to obsess over this loser - or any other loser of life - and 2-5 years from now, I´ll see another post from your about the same thing´

Of course I will take the good advice from all Astro Seek forum members here who were so kind to answer my questions and provide their opinions. You guys are amazing! I realized after almost a month I had my birthday, I came to realize that I´m so exhausted and tired with this relationship. I´ve invested so much energy, time, effort and money on this relationship thinking that he´s the one and we would marry soon. No, it´s not because I´m old and I feel so desperate to get married. It´s because I thought I´ve found the one. He has confessed his feelings and promised me so many things, so I was thinking what should we wait if we both really love each other?

Yeah, I know I´m such a fool.

Thank you for your kind advices and invitation, Dharma212. Truly appreciate them all ,
July 21, 2020 at 19:09
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » VelvetSky
System message: Post has been written by user Dharma212, who already deleted profile on this website:
=====
"Hi Dharma212."

Hi!

"You don´t have to say sorry for being straightforward and blunt in your answer. You´re right when you said I could take it. I value truth and honesty above all, because it won´t hurt me as much as lies and deception could do."

I am glad you see it that way, :-). Sometimes I choose the "being very blunt and straightforward" route, because I feel that that´s the correct "gradient of awareness", to give it some name. A "wake-up call" on time can save lives. And I just felt that you had been in this self-denial (I mean, not loving yourself enough) path for way too long. It is time to cut yourself some slack, :-)).

[[[Quote] - ´You are definitely not in an adequate emotional/spiritual state to be playing with unhealthy relationships now. You really, really, really (did I say "really"?) need to focus on healing your self-esteem wounds and your lack of faith and hope´]]]

"I almost cried when I read your statement above."


:62: :80:


"It´s true that I still neglect my old wound till now, and my self esteem is really low since I was a child."

Having Chiron in your 2nd house - the house of self-esteem - and opposite Jupiter (our sense of hope and faith), is quite challenging. Curiously enough, you are also a 2nd house North Node (NN). This means that in this lifetime, you are supposed to develop your sense of self-esteem and self-worth.

With the NN in our 2nd, we tend to depend on others for our self-worth. We don´t feel "complete" without the support from others. I´ll post a quote about the "Achilles’ heel" of the 2nd house NN at the end of this reply, or in a separate message.

"I feel that by making him happy and giving him all the love I have, that could heal my old wound and scars."

That´s your 2nd house NN "speaking", right there. Any relationship must/should be "balanced"; meaning that each partner must be willing to give what he receives. And actually, in a sane/healthy dynamic, this occurs naturally without any need to even ask for it. In a healthy dynamic, when one partner receives, he/she feels very grateful and actually SHOW it. And there is this "need" or "feeling" to give something back.

I don´t mean by this, that one should give with the expectations to receive something back. Of course, this isn´t an ideal frame of mind, either. One should give just for the sake of giving; for the sake of serving others (that´s my Virgo side right there, haha). But when we give and give and give, and others don´t make an effort to show gratitude, or to offer something back, it just gets too unbalanced. And that´s a very unhealthy dynamic to be in.

"Being abused emotionally and verbally while I´m still stand strong to defend this related is making me really ill inside. It´s like my love for him is draining my energy and weaken my soul everytime he started to abuse me verbally and emotional."

Yes, I understand. I can´t blame him for something you yourself are allowing to happen, though. Not saying that you are expecting me to blame him, of course. If I grant you the "privilege" of being a "victim", I am not either helping you, or empowering you. Actually, I would weaken you if I were to do that. Because "victims" don´t fight back; they don´t have enough self-respect to do that.

So stop feeling sympathy for yourself, and be the strong individual I KNOW you can be, :-)), 🙏🙏.


[[[Quote] - ´ Will you listen to any of this? No, you probably won´t. Most probably than not, you will continue to obsess over this loser - or any other loser of life - and 2-5 years from now, I´ll see another post from your about the same thing´]]]


"Of course I will take the good advice from all Astro Seek forum members here who were so kind to answer my questions and provide their opinions. You guys are amazing! "

Thanks! :-).

"I realized after almost a month I had my birthday, I came to realize that I´m so exhausted and tired with this relationship. I´ve invested so much energy, time, effort and money on this relationship thinking that he´s the one and we would marry soon."

Nope; he is just a loser of life, I am afraid. One who has no dignity. Absolutely NO man with a shred of dignity would ever accept money from a woman. We men - the good ones - are very proud as regards our ability to make our own living, and being able to provide financial security for our partners. It is a total embarrassment for us to be in a position of being moneyless.

Of course, I very much believe that a relationship is "team effort". They BOTH should contribute to the household, and they both should be financially independent, as the only way to have a stable relationship. Especially women, should be financially independent of their partners, otherwise, they can get totally trapped in abusive relationships because they can´t support themselves.

I always taught my own daughter to never ever, never ever depend on any man for her financial and/or emotional support. Hell no; not my daughter!! And she knows better than that, thank God! :-)), 🙏🙏. Because we men can be very selfish and self-centered weird creatures, haha. I know my own kind, haha.

"No, it´s not because I´m old and I feel so desperate to get married."

"Old"? You are just beginning your life! :-))). At 37 is when the fun REALLY begins for women, haha. Before that they are the "main dish"; but after that they become the best part of the dinner: the "dessert", :-)).

"It´s because I thought I´ve found the one. He has confessed his feelings and promised me so many things, so I was thinking what should we wait if we both really love each other?"

Just a "sweet talker" man, I am afraid. There are so many of those!!

"Yeah, I know I´m such a fool."

Just start focusing on yourself, and on working on those wounds. Love yourself enough to help yourself. Read many books on the subject; seek out professional counseling; join a group with similar problems; engage in spiritual healing; anything, but decide to do something effective about it. And if you actually do, you will remember this astrologer, :-)), 🙏🙏.

"Thank you for your kind advices and invitation, Dharma212. Truly appreciate them all"

It is always my pleasure, :-)) 🙏🙏. Best of luck to you!!
July 21, 2020 at 19:24
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Dharma212
System message: Post has been written by user Dharma212, who already deleted profile on this website:
=====
This is a quote from Jan Spiller´s "Astrology for the Soul".


Even though it says "Taurus North Node", it can also be read as "North Node in the 2nd house".


"The Achilles’ heel Taurus North Node need to be aware of is seeking self-worth through others (´I can only feel okay about myself through the validation of others´), which can lead them into the trap of an unending search for a soul mate (´If I have this one special person’s energy, I’ll feel complete´)."

"In truth, Taurus North Node people can only achieve a sense of completeness within themselves—it will never come as the by-product of a relationship, even with a soul mate. No matter how much support and validation they get from others, they always think they need more. In fact, for them, others’ validation is a false barometer of whether they are on the right track."

"Living according to standards they know are right for them, regardless of what others think, will help them develop a sense of self-worth. The bottom line is that at some point they must stop being enmeshed with others and involved in others’ business, and simply walk their own path instead. The irony is that when they begin to do this, others will support them, both financially and on an energy level." (End of quote).
July 23, 2020 at 14:10
(Cancer) VelvetSky » Dharma212
Dharma212,

Thank you, thank you so much for your kind and great advice. I´ve have repeatedly reading them, and I knocked my head " why I never thought about it before?/I should have loved myself better before I give it to others"

I hope that I have the strength to get through all this and start over. Thanks for all your positive words and your kind wish :3:


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