Saturn/Pluto Got Me Good

January 20, 2020 at 17:51 (UT/GMT)
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user 4th House Stellium, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Saturn/Pluto Got Me Good
5th house Saturn in natal and it´s my 2nd Saturn Return so I knew this would going to be a mover and a shaker has been a challenging but also enlightening transit. I had a hard time getting my arms around what exactly Saturn in my 5th entails where it is exactly conjunct Eros and directly opposite the asteroid Orcus.

I had asked her recently direclty, "are you seeing someone or texting with someone, an ex, maybe? Please tell me if so I don´t deserve this". She looked shocked twice in a week I asked before the 8th and both times she gaslighted, "No I think you are since you are bringing this up that is usually how this works." But I knew. On the 8th, I finally looked at my girlfriend´s phone after a year and a half for the first time and discovered that text no one wants to see and that once seen can´t be unseen, if you know what I mean. Her ex boyfriend. She was sleeping late going into work late, she had said, but the text indicated that she was going to see the ex and you know. I woke her and just said that I saw the text and sleepily she said, "Fuck me I forgot my boyfriend is a psychic".

By the 10th, the lunar eclipse, I was flying to another state with only a suitcase and a carry on and now feels like I´m in the rubble laying here staring at the stars in the heavens above ... still feels raw. Pluto Saturn KaPow right on time. The 5th house "issue" I´m going to call it is about my self perception as a man, my manhood - something I seldom think of but have always felt that I am not a "man" in some way and I think this is about accepting that I am a soft man and it is just what it is - I pull a lot of divine feminine energy and have a Cancer Moon a powerful Sagittarius stellium in the 4th house.

She says she´s sorry swears it´s over loves me wants to reconcile, etcetera. At least it lead to our deepest and most meaningful communication in the whole year and a half. She says to her I am love and comfort and companionship ... but I noted not passion or sexuality and when I asked her could you articulate what you get out of this sexting - claims only I don´t really believe that but she had been caught at it in her last relationship with another ex so a pattern - and she said, "I guess it´s exciting". So it´s not just about a breakup, I´m broken to the very core around this crucial issue of my own masculinity so yeah that part came as a real surprise but finally totally explains the 5th house Saturn issue - fatherless child with abandonment issues from mother as well. So what it´s brought to me is profound insight into self and a pile of rubble to rebuild with this year

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January 20, 2020 at 18:09
(Virgo) rohini moon
poor guy.

i don´t even feel it´s proper to offer any astrological insight / counseling on this matter. just wanted to say I am sorry and i certainly feel for you... all i will add in terms of astrology is that it was most definitely brought to your awareness because of the eclipse. .eclipses bring things to light we didn´t know about, and lunar eclipses all have to do with women, certain women may be "phased" out of ones life. . In this case, the cosmos are trying to tell you - I think- who that needs to be.
January 20, 2020 at 18:13
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user Davis212, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Just dump her and move on; she isn´t worth your effort. Anyone do that to me? Oh boy, she is sooooooooo gone, history, done, finito, bye-bye. There is such a thing as self-respect, you know; a line to draw.
January 20, 2020 at 19:01
(Libra) Daath » Davis212
I agree dump the **** out of her man.
Time for a new chapter.
January 20, 2020 at 19:26
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Daath
System message: Post has been written by user Davis212, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Exactly!
January 25, 2020 at 20:34
(Libra) LibranSunAndMoon
What is your venus? And Mars?
I cant for the life of me figure out how to check a complete chart on someone´s page, so if someone could provide that info I´d appreciate it.

Its easy to say ´dump her´.

Its probably the right thing to do..

I wouldnt say you don´t identify as a ´man´ or that you believe you´re a ´soft man´ for any one reason. True, it could be a heightened relationship with divine feminine. It could be the ability to see beyond the ´self". In my experience, your situation seems all too familiar and I highly doubt someone as well spoken as yourself will be able to forget something like that. If you could, it´s unlikely you´d be on an astrology site seeking answers from the stars ?

It´s not something TO be forgiven. OR forgotten. It is a template for you to use moving forward. Trust me when I say that it did not happen ´to you´. It happened FOR you! Custom is a hell of a thing. It innately lets us know how it feels to be betrayed or deceived. (Or both)

Life is certainly not as cruel as people make it out to be.. and its unlikely you´ll have to go through this exact pain again, for you know the warning signs better than you did before this. The more we experience what we don´t want, the better prepared we are to receive what we DO want in life!

Regardless.. that doesn´t make the pain vanish, and my heart is with you during this time. I know betrayal all too well.. at the hands of others, and my self.

You really should leave her.. but stay busy. Give yourself ample time to grieve (and do NOT Place a time limit on that!) Be gentle with yourself. Be gentle with the situation. We must protect ourselves.. even if we love.. even if we don´t want to hurt someone back. I can promise you that your feelings were NOT taken into consideration when she was being dishonest with you. Remember that.

Sending you love and light during this difficult time.. don´t hesitate to hit me up if you wanna talk

-Gil


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