What is up with this relationship?

June 5, 2019 at 21:25 (UT/GMT)
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme
What is up with this relationship?
The synastry chart posted includes me as the 1st person and a man I was seeing for a few months as the 2nd person. Long story short, it was an extramarital affair for both of us, which ended when one of our spouses found out. He and I were seeking a friends with benefits situation, but we (supposedly) both fell very hard for each other and both almost left our marriages to be with each other. After the affair came to light, he and I are both trying to heal our respective marriages and have made headway with our spouses

Post-breakup, he has oscillated between cold and hateful to warm and apologetic during the very few times we´ve been in contact via email/messaging. I am starting to wonder if his sincerity while we were together was legitimate, and if it was, why he is largely acting more on the cold and hateful side of the spectrum towards me. I am also having a hard time trying not to think about him. I am committed to my husband and our marriage and WILL NOT be using feedback received to legitimize my exit from the marriage - I´m hoping that the feedback may help me understand some of the astrological drivers behind what is going on and aid me in finding some peace.

Are there any clues on this chart that point to legitimacy (or lack thereof) of feelings in our relationship? Also trying to determine if there is any clue to whether this would be a long term or short term relationship. I can´t shake the sense that he and I may end up together years in the future, but I could just be delusional.

What does his loaded, retrograde 7th house mean for him?

Also curious as to what my Pholus conjunct his Moon may mean.

Any insight shared would be immensely appreciated!
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June 6, 2019 at 10:13
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme » goldenlion32
Thank you for your insight. I have, indeed, been going to therapy.
June 6, 2019 at 10:17
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme » ~Masha~
Thank you for your insight.

We first met in person on November 30, 2018 after texting and emailing back and forth for a few weeks. We did get intimate on that date. Affair ended on February 24, 2019 when my husband hacked into my tablet and found evidence of the affair.
June 6, 2019 at 10:34
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme » ~Masha~
No more contact. We have been in contact for very short periods off and on until May 31 when I told him I´m officially done. After the affair ended, I found out I am pregnant (unplanned). At first, there was a small possibility that the baby was this man´s, but as more information has become available, it is clear it is not his and it belongs to my husband. That, and the need for closure on my part, prompted the additional contact.
June 6, 2019 at 10:54
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme » ~Masha~
This thread has always been about me understanding myself better so I could let go of the other relationship, which I still can´t seem to get out of my head.
June 6, 2019 at 11:33
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » VunderFemme
I don´t mean to be harsh but taking more time to look at your two charts, it´s really just an affair for the moment for you to learn whatever it is your meant to learn from the situation.

It didn´t work out for the simple reason the dates you´ve given and looking at your North Node and his your both on two very different soul paths, and your both in your Nodal Returns.

Last year you stated you started this relationship in November in Jupiter in Scorpio Retrograde, which returned you back to your husband. lol And last year was a very bad year for many feminine and masculine jumping into affairs and getting caught in the Water Trine, Fixed Cross transits, and Retrogrades and ending up getting in a crisis.

You´re not the only one, since the fixed cross: Leo, Taurus, Scorpio, and Aquarius are the sexual signs of the feminine. North Node Leo/South Node Aquarius the trickster.

This is what I´m saying when the transits are in certain positions, you´re being tested in relationships. You´re making a choice to create or co-create the crisis event to grow, mature, and evolve.

Really under Saturn in Capricorn, Aries in Chiron, and Uranus in Taurus, I don´t think anyone gets away with being deceptive, hiding things, and husbands do have all kinds of software to see what your doing online.

Evolutionary astrology is pointing out the weaknesses and mastering your soul intention.

Where you run into trouble is your a very sexual women, and you can see this with the water trine and Aquarius in the 8th house, and you have Capricorn in the 7th house of relationships restricting that 100% freedom of liberation to be the Matriarchy on your ascendant.

This person you had the affair with has Moon and Sun in Pisces which is Neptune and you both have Neptune in Sagittarius. The rose colored glasses, and true romantic, and we can just escape life and forget our spouses.

I stated this because Neptune and the Nodes can bring on these fantasies, fictional stories, and illusion in the relationship.

Both of you are probably in emotional and mental pain and it´s easier to escape reality than deal with the shadow self.

And this is what Uranus in Scorpio in opposition Uranus in Taurus will do shove you in the position to do your inner work emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, sexually, and financially.

This is where you graduate from the Rook or Princess to the mature Queen. Where you take 100% responsibility for your emotions, thoughts, feelings, choices, and actions and start seeing how they have a cause and effect on your 2nd/8th house issues of sharing resources with your family, children, and husband.

Taurus/Scorpio is all about the Have´s versus the Have Not´s. As you stated you have a baby to think about. So this means you have a responsibility to provide shelter, clothing, food, medicine, and provide a healthy home emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, sexually, and financially.

When you bring in a third party as this masculine. You are putting your resources in jeopardy because your North Node Leo is in the 2nd house and South Node Aquarius in the 8th house of death, birth, rebirth, emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, and sexual transformation. So when you decide to play with other masculine, that can be quite transforming in the sense you can lose everything you have built up and their is no guarantee this other masculine will ever help you survive in anyway if they believe you´re just a momentary fantasy, fiction, and escape from their wife. This is what a lot of men do, they fantasize about the mistress, and escape reality of their wife and children.

If your volunteering to play that part, your also jeopardizing their wife and their children´s survival.

I believe this is where the masculine and feminine have not understood that we don´t just create marriages and when things get hard we go off and play with other people and expect them to be fine with it.

The biggest issues we have in society are domestic violence and child abuse. So when we make the feminine or masculine jealous deliberately, it´s nice to say we can discipline it to a certain extent, but over long-term period, you can literally drive someone into emotional and mental pain because it´s the emotional center of the brain. The pain and reward center, the pleasure and pain center. So your relieving your pain and suffering by going to another masculine, and forming an emotional, sexual, spiritual, physical bond to them and relieving your pain through sex, but then causing pain at the same time in the same place for two other people.

This is what is ridiculous about our society, because we create and co-create the situation, tell people they should just get over it. And it is the deepest emotional and mental wound there is in the masculine and feminine.

When your filled with Aquarius, Libra, and Gemini these types of individuals are more emotionally objective and work on one side of the nervous system, while water signs works on the opposite side of the nervous system.

If you want to drive a feminine and masculine into insanity, sex is the way to do it and make them jealous over a long period of time. Which equals to domestic violence.

I´m a bit different astrologer because I have a degree in Human Services, which is social worker, and I understand the systems, family dynamics, the hardships, and really people have a choice to naturally help themselves or create or co-create the crisis where you they get into trouble with the systems.

Now other astrologers can say what they want, I´m about being pro-active, educating, and pointing people to having a healthy life style, instead of ending up in various scenario´s from not making the right choices.

With a baby coming on the way, this is your first priority. And of course therapy is where you can start, but you can take effort in that every day in different ways.

As you stated, "I´m thinking about the other masculine." This is the problem with third parties. Whatever your focused on your attention goes. So if you daydreaming, thinking about another masculine, this is what your manifesting into your reality.

And if you focusing on your husband and family this is what your manifesting into your reality.

The mind is not wired to focus on two things at once. People pretend they can, sure they can fool themselves multi-tasking, but if you pay close attention, you really can only focus on one thing at a time.

If you´re focus else where, obviously your husband knows your not focusing on him just by your body language, your expressions, your actions, and he´s not getting attention.

You have a lot of Libra so you tend to think a lot. So it´s really getting a grasp on where your thoughts are headed, and thinking before acting.

Aries in Chiron in opposition of Libra Pluto will also keep you on task, because Aries in Chiron is usually quite the wounding of your relationships if you´re not responsible.

As with Aries in the 1st house "I" and Libra "We" in the 7th house.

So when you and your friend decided to form this relationship you both said as Libra Pluto´s, "I" want forget my spouse in the 7th house "We".

I want to feel the pleasure. relieve my pain, and escape this reality for a moment.

Aries in Chiron will wound the idea because it´s not Pisces in Chiron and ruled by Neptune.

Aries is a cardinal sign and all about belief systems, theories, concepts, and ideas.

Uranus in Taurus is what is it do I value the most?

November you shifted into Uranus in Aries/Pisces in Chiron, and than we shifted back into Uranus in Taurus/Aries in Chiron.

So the timing of the event was quite not the time to be starting a relationship with transits since they´re all ending karma and ending cycles from multiple timelines in transits.
June 6, 2019 at 11:44
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » goldenlion32
Why you can forget about the man is because you made and emotional, mental, spiritual, sexual attachment to him. This is giving yourself time to let go of him by getting rid of all your pictures, letters, taking him off your list, and letting go and moving on with your life.

Emotional attachments are quite difficult to break if your holding on them, focus on them, and not wanting to sever ties.

It becomes an obsession with Pluto. And your Libra is trying to holding onto something which probably isn´t healthy to be holding on to.

The conjunctions usually make you feel attraction and of course you have Mars on their south node, and Mercury on your south node.

This is what you probably will be learning the next 8 years, is how you mirror archetypes, the energetic, harmonics, and just because you´re attracted to your own energy, doesn´t make them the one or a long-term partner.
June 6, 2019 at 13:45
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme » ~Masha~
Masha,

First, thank you for sharing so much of your insight. It has been tremendously helpful to me.

Second, to answer your question...

1. I guess I´m trying to figure out why THIS man was the only one I could fully open up to emotionally. I have struggled with opening up fully to my husband over the 17 years we have been together. I´ve posted my synastry chart with my husband if you are curious.

2. I want to find out how this relationship with the other man sucked me in so quickly and became such a massive black hole. I tried leaving the relationship 5 different times, only to be sucked back in by this man. I was someone that abhorred the idea of infidelity, and how quickly I fell into this is alarming to me.

So this thread has been trying to help me identify issues I may have, or at least better articulate them, so I can make the best use of the psychotherapy I am going through.
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June 6, 2019 at 19:06
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme
Thank you, Masha!
June 6, 2019 at 19:16
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user Vanille, who already deleted profile on this website:
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If you have an ounce of respect in your soul: go get a divorce.

You´re a cheating slut and your husband deserves better than that, so does your fling´s wife. I wish them both a happy life with a loyal partner who actually does have proper feelings for them.

This sickens me omg
June 6, 2019 at 19:22
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme » Vanille
Wow, thanks for actually taking the time to actually read this thread! Your keen assessment is fabulous!

If you cared to get beyond your knee jerk reaction, you´d see that I am 100% committed to my marriage and husband and am looking for answers here to help me 1.) get the other dude out of my head and 2.) better articulate issues that I can work on with my therapist so this never happens again.

I´m leaving your comment on here so everyone can see what a hateful troll looks like. One would think with your orientation (evidenced by the "my crush is scary" thread), you might more willing to understand someone before throwing any stones. My sister-in-law was on the receiving end of years of discrimination due to her sexual orientation, and I´ve developed a tremendous amount of respect for the LGBT community because of her. Grow the f- up.
June 6, 2019 at 19:27
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » VunderFemme
System message: Post has been written by user Vanille, who already deleted profile on this website:
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If you´re 100% commited to your marriage, you wouldn´t jump on a dick other than your hubby´s, you wouldn´t even consider it, and if you did... Leave your husband cause there´s absolutely no way you still love him if you´re capable of doing this to him.

If anything, he should leave you if he loves himself even a tiny bit.
June 6, 2019 at 19:35
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » VunderFemme
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
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The only person full of themselves is you, Vanille is correct, sort yourself out and be honest to your husband, that includes being honest for yourself, firm and upright, not some coward.

Venus in detriment in Scorpio conjunct Uranus & aspecting Jupiter, Venus in 5th of sex and fun... as i said, get a grip and don´t drag others into your own issues, take responsibility.

You also try to manipulate others to gain for yourself, an aspect of Scorpio.
June 6, 2019 at 19:41
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme » Vanille
I´ll say one last thing and let it go. I felt for the past 7 years that my husband no longer cared for me romantically. I thought it was solely his commitment to the principle of marriage that kept him around. I broke down in tears a month before the affair and asked for a divorce, but he refused to let go. Everytime I tried having a heart-to-heart with him through the years prior, I always got shut down by him. This last time, he said the death of his father in September made him realize that he had become his father and did not do enough to express his feelings for me and ended up being a brutal assh-le dealing with me. I didn´t give him long enough of a period to demonstrate he meant what he said to me, but, I recalled the multitude of times prior where nothing happened, ultimately causing me to shut down emotionally (state I was in the past 5 years with him).

What I did was wrong, and I recognize that. I have apologized personally to the wife, and I am doing what I can to make things right with my husband. He is also making some major changes because he realizes that he contributed to this mess.

I´m glad you live in a perfect world where yourself and the people around you have never had to experience the relationship trauma. It shows in your opinion.
June 6, 2019 at 19:45
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » VunderFemme
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
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It´s ok being emotional, but cheating is not, be forthright and leave him in the dust, settle it in court if need be, use your brain, it all sounds like a big elaborate manipulative cover up.

I know, because i know how that damned Venus works, skilled in lying if need be.

Nobody contributed to cheating, you have morals? clearly not, you drag yourself down to the level of someone else?

If this is the case, then as before, get a grip, i don´t stand for it regardless, like children.

Some tough love will set you straight and narrow, get a grip, move on without him, and if it needs to happen, get it settled in court to be divorced.
June 6, 2019 at 19:47
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme » Liquidized.Mind.LM3992
So who, with this same aspect, screwed you over so badly that you automatically think I manipulate people?

I actually put everyone else in my life BEFORE myself. The affair was the one time I didn´t. I abhor adultery, but I had reached a crisis point and felt dead inside. Someone came along that made me feel genuinely wanted for once.

Thanks for playing.
June 6, 2019 at 19:48
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » VunderFemme
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
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This is to do with you, not my experiences.
The very reason you do this is to not face reality, to not face what you have done, you are a liar.
June 6, 2019 at 19:58
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » Vanille
Vanille, this isn´t appropriate. I respect your opinion, but one of the things we have to learn in life is everyone doesn´t have the same soul path, soul lessons, and it´s easy to judge others without walking in their shoes. You´re a North Node Virgo/South Node Pisces, so I respect your health consciousness and awareness.

Fortunately, creating and co-creating more emotional and mental pain doesn´t always solve the problem, provide positive solutions, and all of us have a shadow side. We all make our mistakes in relationships. We say we never would do something, but when we´re put in the right situations, circumstances, we sometimes do bring out the shadow side.

While your from the Netherlands, you already know this since they teach you right from the start in sex ed to respect other people´s sexual preferences, sexual gender, and tolerate a lot here of differences in the sexuality department.

You have sex workers here, strippers, prostitutes, etc. So it´s difficult for some people to understand all this, and even marriage is a whole different story here in many different ways with open marriages, and swingers.

While I live in the Netherlands and I come from America a small conservative Christian town, I´ve had a hard time myself to expanding my understanding, knowledge, wisdom, and trying to see from the masculine and feminine point of view in different types of relationships.

While I´m Virgo Pluto and believe in Manogamy, I have had to learn everyone doesn´t fit in that department. I used to judge people all the time with my Catholic/Christian Views, so I can understand your point of view.

But in the last ten years, I´ve understood that there´s so many different types of relationships and everyone doesn´t fit in the same mold. We may not always agree with everyone´s life style in the world, but it´s just like you being a Lesbian, we fight for rights for you in the world and those who are transgender, lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, and you should know first hand you don´t like being judged, persecuted, ridiculed, for being your authentic self, anymore than I do about being straight, and Manogomy.

We all live different lives, and we all make mistakes. Healing others understanding their situation, hearing their voice, listening to their authentic truth, meeting them where they are and providing healthy alternatives or methods, techniques, and tools to heal.

With North Node Virgo this is what your learning to do, to be a health care provider, mental health and medical health. So if she came to you as a client for help and your the therapist, would you say that at your job to your clients and first off? Most likely they would leave your office and be hurt by what you said, and feel your not a good therapist, because you didn´t hear them or listen to them, or evaluate the situation thoroughly, take an assessment, find out the back ground, and so this is a learning experience for you, and you have all the gifts to be a good health care provider.

What positive advice can you give in the situation? What´s your positive solution? Saying divorce is one option and point out in the chart what might lead you to the conclusion without using the negative words.

Emotionally detached from the situation? What is happening in the marriage that would lead someone to stray? What emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, sexual, and financial needs aren´t being met.

Where are they not connecting on those levels? Where are they compatible and not compatible? What are the weaknesses and what are the strengths?

What hard aspects our in the couples chart? What are the planets? What are the houses? How do they fall in the houses? What is the soul intention in the situation? What steps are being skipped with Pluto and the Nodes.

How can you turn around the negative into a positive and reconcile a marriage.

Do you believe in forgiveness, redemption, reconciliation? Do you see whether someone can do the inner emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, sexual, and financial transformation?

This is what we look at in couples charts, synastry, composite, and davison charts. How do we stop creating and co-creating the Crisis in the Virgo/Pluto axis and stop being the victim, creating more victims, and stop playing the martyr, and showing up in life instead of Pisces (Escaping Reality).

So your soul is trying to communicate this with your North Node Virgo, because in your south node Pisces you´ve learned the answers. It doesn´t work not showing up in life and escaping reality. So your higher self is not wrong. it is say hey, my authentic soul remembers this part, and I need to find a positive way to communicate my higher knowledge, wisdom, and insight in a positive way. Your bringing these healing gifts into the world. But it´s learning also how to use Virgo in a balanced way.

This video might help you understand what I´m trying to say.

https://www.youtube.com/watch/…
YouTube
YouTube
June 6, 2019 at 19:58
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Liquidized.Mind.LM3992
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Might wants to read up on the understanding i may have on you.

Can see right through you my dear.
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June 6, 2019 at 19:58
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme » cyberskull1
Thank you. I agree. And my husband and I see this time as closing the chapter of dysfunction we were living and beginning a new chapter where we work together to finally find happiness.
June 6, 2019 at 19:59
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme » Liquidized.Mind.LM3992
Whose chart is this? Yours?
June 6, 2019 at 20:02
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » VunderFemme
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Mine and yours combined.

South Node & North Node aspects of particular interest, that and your Scorpio placements hitting Pluto, My Moon & Mars opposing your Saturn & Jupiter.

Your Saturn & Pluto aspecting my 12th house Sun & Jupiter, i make light of things, i see through people and always have.

I´m not here to tell you what to do, but telling you what you should do.
June 6, 2019 at 20:03
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » VunderFemme
System message: Post has been written by user Vanille, who already deleted profile on this website:
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"I´m glad you live in a perfect world where yourself and the people around you have never had to experience the relationship trauma. It shows in your opinion"

An example of manipulation right here ^^

You´re traumatized, so you fuck another guy, really?
June 6, 2019 at 20:04
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Vanille
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Exactly, and i do not take kindly to others allowing her manipulative behavior. :83:
June 6, 2019 at 20:05
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » VunderFemme
This happens in most relationships sorry to say. I will say this once so people stop attacking you. This is nothing new, and over the last ten years working with couples, it happens every single time. So you´re no different than the rest of humanity. While people like to judge, persecute, and make others as a victim as well this is the Karpman Drama Triangle, so everyone should get off the karmic wheel, here because we all will find ourselves in this situation at some point in our lives whether we think so or not. I haven´t met a couple yet who doesn´t speak about this happening.

Different People, Different story, but part of the masculine/feminine, feminine/feminine, masculine/masculine, alien/alien relationships, or whatever you want to call the type of relationship.

I´ll say one last thing and let it go. I felt for the past 7 years that my husband no longer cared for me romantically. I thought it was solely his commitment to the principle of marriage that kept him around. I broke down in tears a month before the affair and asked for a divorce, but he refused to let go. Everytime I tried having a heart-to-heart with him through the years prior, I always got shut down by him. This last time, he said the death of his father in September made him realize that he had become his father and did not do enough to express his feelings for me and ended up being a brutal assh-le dealing with me. I didn´t give him long enough of a period to demonstrate he meant what he said to me, but, I recalled the multitude of times prior where nothing happened, ultimately causing me to shut down emotionally (state I was in the past 5 years with him).
June 6, 2019 at 20:08
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » goldenlion32
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
=====
Did you go and cheat on him though? And did you tear others down who pointed it out?

Did you try to run away from the situation by asking others instead of fixing it? something tells me there is a big disparity in morals, or both have a similar nature that find it ok?

I could never cheat on someone regardless.
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