Does anyone feel the same? - Discussions, questions

ElsaX Funny how you approach the topic of relationships as if it is just a logical puzzle to be solved
Oh wait, you´re a gemini - lol

Beliefs, likes/dislikes: all these things are subject to change, anyway.

Most people enter into relationships because they are in love/lust/passion, and that tends to blind us to a certain extent.

yes, it would be great if we could work out with the other person what it is we´re expecting from the relationship, what the silent assumptions are, and then go from there.
That would rather kill the romance, in my view, so choosing someone who´s open minded and a good communicator would help to address these things when the relationship is already underway.

But hey - I´m no expert: 48 and single, and currently choosing to stay that way, so don´t listen to me

NotYourEnemy » ElsaX "Funny how you approach the topic of relationships as if it is just a logicap puzzle to be solved
Oh wait, you´re a gemini - lol"

--> Well, if we all went in blinded by what we call "true love" then the world would go to hell. Oh wait...

Jokes aside, I think there comes a point when you can separate practical matters such as communications issues and boundaries from emotional influences like lust/insecurity/neediness etc.

I don´t think the two should ever mix. You don´t get a free pass just because I like you. If you are bad at communicating your feelings,thoughts and desires then I can help you work on that (if you request help); or you can work on it by yourself. But letting it slide for the sake of keeping the relationship alive and being together due to fear of being alone is problematic...

Same goes for me. If I am bad at expressing myself, then I shouldn´t expect the other person to put up with my issues.

Overall, I think it´s dangerous to throw yourself in with all your passion, without some logical reasoning. I always ask myself: What value am I going to get if I involve myself with you?

Ellilunaa At the end of the day, everyone just wants to be loved.

ElsaX » NotYourEnemy Yes, I agree with you that there has to be a certain extent of thought that goes into getting involved with someone, but everyone is different about what they value.

Some people care a lot if the other person can provide for them, or only care about the other person´s looks and how they make them look in turn, or value companionship above everything else.

I don´t think there´s a standard guide you can apply or publish that´s perfect for everyone to follow.
People are at different stages in their development, like different things, value different things.

Just live and let live: if it doesn´t impact you directly, why be bothered?
I mean, good topic to think about to figure out your own approach to relationships, but it won´t get you any results getting frustrated about other people´s behaviour

atlantickush Moon signs are a big part of it. Its not just because of the dependence on relationships, but how someone feels about women and children. Being with a cancer moon woman means dealing with not just the gooey emotions but dealing with a favouritism towards women and therefore themselves. I guess in that way a mars sign is make or break too, because a strong mars or a hard mars transit is a signifier for separation.

Theres so much to it. Astrology kind of helped me realise a lot about relationships.

Anthony19 I think a lot of people do not know what they want and blinded by the love and romance(which is a 5th house matter) and expected the relationship(7th house matter) to carry on to live happily ever after......

But as an old cynical like me, I find that people have neglected to find the connection that will make it work. a lot of times they do not want to give up as they have already invested a lot of time/energy into "it" and hope it will work out.. but usually the other person will run a mile...hence there are so many questions in our horary and synastry sections......

Yes, you are right that we all need to think before we jump into " a relationship", because love and romance is not a "long term thing". No one is talking about TLC to keep the relationship stronger.

Yes I think some moon signs crave for love more than others. But we also should use our "mercury" to do a thorough analysis before we commit into "longer term" relationships.

Of course, the society around us is selling the forever happy after stories in movies, music and TV and other media....so we feel we must have it too.

NotYourEnemy » ElsaX "I mean, good topic to think about to figure out your own approach to relationships, but it won´t get you any results getting frustrated about other people´s behaviour"

Oh no. These were my thoughts I formed when observing other people and I just feel confused as to how I should approach this when the time comes for me to get into a relationship.

I feel like a lot of people have been brainwashed to think that there is only 1 or 2 ways to behave in a relationship and anything outside the norm is not desirable. I don´t want people to have this expectation from me...I hope there are still people out there who think and behave differently.

"People are at different stages in their development, like different things, value different things."

I´m also having a hard time coming to terms with this. On the one hand, you want someone who has things in common with you. But on the other hand, you don´t want someone who is exactly like you.

stigmí » Ellilunaa Nice
I wrote once this...
"At the end of the day, all we have is who we are"

NotYourEnemy » Ellilunaa I agree. But some people will use you for their own self-gratification unfortunately... It´s hard to find people with genuine intentions.

NotYourEnemy » Anthony19 Yeah, society & the media have definitely played an important role in shaping our expectations in a relationship. And this is where one of my issues arises: Friend A will look at Friend B´s relationship and wonder why their own relationship is not like theirs...Why do we have to compare two separate situations when it´s completely inappropriate???

We look for partners we think are right based on anecdotal evidence from the people around us. Monkey see, monkey do.

If only we stopped copying each others patterns and created our own...

stigmí It looks like you see it as everything can be prepared and perfect and then nothing can or should change...
I think we grow together and also alone...not only together or alone...
There are some things that we prove only if we face another person...
And intimate relationship where both are very open are different than those, where people walk just on surface...

But yes, I agree some awareness is needed if we dont want to feed just our instictive/unconscious level...but I dont think it relate to relationships, but to character of people, if they want to know themselves...if they want to know truth...and also if parents or someone show them this possibility and learn them self-reflection and so on...

I had not much relationships...I am not that person who crave relationships...but if I decided for someone/fell in love, I definitely crave this person and relationship with him x)

Ellilunaa » stigmí Yes

Cancereverything As a person that never had something real and lasting, and a detached Aquarius moon - which tends to move on rather quickly: I can be quite romantic sometimes and people when they meet me think I´m so naive, but deep inside I´m actually very calculating in relationships with people, friendships etc...

I mean I have a rather naive looking Cancer rising, and people tend to wanna push me and they think they can lol

But my Virgo sun and Aquarius moon says "Its not gonna happen." I´ve had guys wanna take advantage of me before, they thought they could use me and then get rid of me. But I could sense it a mile away.

My moon conjunct Neptune in the 8th house sometimes clouds my judgement, I learned to be more assertive with years.

Now talking more about the topic of "relationships" I know that more sensitive folk with water moons won´t get me, but the most important part when it´s not working anymore - is to let go. Thats what I do and I was successful with that before.

I let go of people who weren´t into me anymore or so, there are lots of ways you can distract yourself...
I´m not a good psychologist, but open minded to that topic. Everyone has a different story so I can´t judge. If you feel like you and the partner are drifting apart - it is natural to me, and that doesn´t mean I don´t love them anymore, but it means you should understand that your partner deserves to be happy, even if it means without myself.
I hope this doesn´t sound too depressive :)

NotYourEnemy » Cancereverything Thank you for sharing your perspective!

My follow-up question would be this: How do you create meaningful relationships (not only romantic) if you have to keep letting go of people who will not better you?

I end up isolating myself or pushing away others because all the people I meet are like this? They just don´t want anything deep. Only superficial "let´s talk about the weather and what I had for dinner" type of individuals...

If you confront them about this they say "oh, well I just met you, I don´t know/want to talk about anything with more substance". That is the moment I shut down and just slowly drift away.

kq » NotYourEnemy "I end up isolating myself or pushing away others because all the people I meet are like this? They just don´t want anything deep."

this is so much moon in 12th

namaste brother :)

Cancereverything » NotYourEnemy Interesting question

I understand what you mean by saying you don´t like superficiality.
To establish more meaningful connections, is to let people actually grow close to you, and I mean be comfortable and feel accepted as well. I think thats the only way.
Because others are sensitive too and they need to feel safe until they can open up about personal subjects.

Not sure how this works though, but if your someone who wants more deep connections and people around are just very shallow then, you either find more like-minded individuals (sometimes it can be hard) or try to be more flexible with others instead to shutting down.
Give them space and if they are "your people" trust me it will last.

For relationships it´s the same thing, those who are meant - they will stay. Thats how the universe works :)

I guess this sounds a bit basic, but I just wanted to share my insight on something like this topic.
Someone might say "its easy to say but hard to do so" - and its true to some extent, unless you are very detached and objective (everyone´s different)

I can be very sensitive at times with people, I´ve been shutting down too, so I understand for that part how it feels. When nobody seems to get me and being too "different" from others.

Maybe I don´t even know what I´m saying, I´ve had my ups and downs in life, people just come and go all the time - thats how life works and you have to accept it. And I think each person will achieve it of simply letting go...
It depends individually, but either give yourself some time or others, and everything will be in its place.

It can be difficult, but in most cases achievable, so I´m not saying something unrealistic. I hope this does answer the question in some way even if that´s what most people answer.

NotYourEnemy » Cancereverything Hmm. I see. I guess the wound that I have to deal with is that it´s okay to let people go and not be afraid that you´ll never find someone like them again...

" I hope this does answer the question in some way even if that´s what most people answer."

Yes! Thank you very much.

katya188 i have a moon in 7th house and i had to accept that the hard way lol. many people who are talking about "love" to me after a first meeting and it sounds ridiculous. for me personally when i unravel all the "ugly" and deep parts of the person thats when they become dear to me. the parts they think nobody will ever love. i could say thats the influence of moon conj. pluto in chart

Janko33 Hello,very complicated view of relationship. I will write it from my view, and i will talk about serious one,as other kind isnt worth so much discussed,so maybe i m wrong,or no... Not every person can know who is he deeply,some people are just not so much aware of deep things. Let them call just simple people. But thanks to heavens,they have rights also to have serious relationship and make serious commitments. And they will grow a constructive relationship,growing togheter as they normaly made it up as couple. Will have every upside or downside,as life brings it to everyone. Other maybe are more aware of inner self, image for own,image of a person with whoom they "build" relationship,commitment. I think it is good thing,but there is a big need for some level of not overacting in it. As previous normal couple they meet each and came to this building of greater,themselfs,themselfs as couple. They need balance to how they view their partner,or how they idealise it. A relationship with to many questions,to many searchings in improving material,or emotional,usualy overhelm present success. I m not against people who wants better things in life,for themself,for their relationship,but it is a big need to find balance. So more love,respect,and togheter plans will only improve it. Overthinking and overwishing is not healty for any relationship. Simply,as love is,is best recipe. And if there is measuring between them,and its preasure because of it,it is a start of end. I see this just as bigger picture of a serious relationship, so as there is so many cases,there is so many ways and explanation,and we talk in eternity about it. Relationship and serious commitments,they dont fall from sky,they are 1 and 2 meeting each other and making 3. So relationship is 2 involved,so they make 3(relationship actualy) ok when babies are 3,4,5,6,7 :) is better. I hope u understand what i wanted say.
No one should feel trapped in it,as it is not normal,yes? But planing and building in 2 is a success of commitments. True love and at least little aware is key. Other things are called destiny. My personal view of best is strong love and passion,strength of it with years,and realy willing to small adopts and changes,and big will for success. Hopefully there are relationship giuided by pure love and intentions,by right path. I believe that there is that kind of love and relationship. And i wish we all have them. Flow of love 🔥❤🙏😇👫👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🌌

tintin92 Love is selfish. People want love to feel good.

My moon is in Capricorn. a cold one but my south node is in Cancer which makes me very emotional and romantic.

If you ever found a selfless love, then know for sure that you´re lucky

ElsaX » tintin92 “Love is selfish”


Such a Capricorn thing to say, lol
😂

astral_travel » ElsaX Hi Elsa,

What do you mean by such a capricorn thing to say ? Is there a relation between capricorn and selfishness ?

Thank you
Astral

NotYourEnemy » tintin92 "Love is selfish"

LALAALLALA. My delusional self does not want to hear this kind of Saturn-talk. Now if you´ll excuse me, I will be going back to my fairytale realm.

tintin92 » astral_travel Seems like there is😄

Everyone says capricorns are cold. I don’t buy that realllly ☺️ because I’m not. That’s how i feel about love because it was selfish for me not for my Capricorn sign😂

Ellilunaa » NotYourEnemy Lol. This is me , even though Saturn is so prominent in my chart😂

Gotta give it to my Neptune in 7th house

… but I talk Saturn stuff when I feel like I have to