8yr long term relationship/feeling lost and unsure

May 15, 2019 at 12:04 (UT/GMT)
(Cancer) Axelopian
8yr long term relationship/feeling lost and unsure
Hi,
I’ve been in a tumultuous relationship for just over 8 years. From when I was 18 until 26 and him, 24-32. We are engaged. Have been since 2015 while starting our degrees. We are now finished with our degrees and Over the last month almost, i have began to feel stuck and trapped and unhappy. I’ve raised this with him many times, had couples therapy and discussed the reasons why as him rejecting me for sex/physical affection all the time and not engaging in any romantic gestures and turning me down when I try. Really has hurt my self esteem over time and made me feel like absolute crap. Problem is, I love him to pieces as a best friend. Just no sexual attraction anymore. I have explained this and how sad I feel around this, he wasn’t able to take it so well at first but after around a week of daily fighting with me before and after work we both are so tired and exhausted to remain angry and upset. Now I just feel numb and guilt when he tries to touch me be affectionate now. He acknowledged that he became lazy in the relationship and said that never thought I’d actually consider leaving him, that is why he has changed nothing.

My question is, can anyone please give me some ideas around how we feel so opposite and inflammatory in our communication and love? We both believe we don’t appreciate each other, but we both believe we do everything for the other. ? any predictions or any support would be great. I am unsure of what to do because I love him to pieces but I feel like I’m not in love anymore because he neglected my needs for so long. And last promise to me was broken.

Ahhh
My signs are cancer sun, cancer Venus both in 10th house. I have mars in Taurus and Gemini moon both in the 8h house.
And mercury in Leo in 10th house.

His signs are Aquarius sun in 10th house and Aquarius Mercury in 11th house. His mars and rising are both in Aries in the first house. His moon is in Aries in the 12th house and his Venus is in Sagittarius in the 9th houses ahh I’ve never met someone so infuriating yet interesting to me before. Really fucking with my mind and heart. ?

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May 15, 2019 at 15:25
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user David Evans, who already deleted profile on this website:
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I know Aquarius is very much their own individual, and desires freedom. Could that be why he got lazy I think?

Thought you were secure, and put more effort into other parts of his life, thinking he was free to do so.

With a life like his, sound like his Aquarius self needs a stay at home type of woman, while he is free to work and pursue financial dreams, while she supports him from home.

Basically traditional man, traditional woman, which is seemingly no longer common in today´s day or culture.

I think that died after the 70-80s. But some people need that I think.
May 15, 2019 at 15:27
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user David Evans, who already deleted profile on this website:
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With your heavy Cancer, you probably need someone that is family(not blood for Pete´s sake :61:), to spend your days with.
It sounds like you are the type who needs lots of affection, to feel safe and loved.
May 15, 2019 at 15:42
(Scorpio) SpaceChild » David Evans
I agree with this.

TO OP:

I am engaged to an Aquarius as well, and as well have been with him for over 8 years. I saw a lot of similarities between you and I. I was hesitant to reply though. I can´t give much advice in regards to astrology as I am very new to it.
I´m sorry you are feeling this way, and hope you reach some conclusions that are in your favor, whatever they may be or bring.
May 15, 2019 at 16:51
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32
The Mutable Cross: is usually the culprit in the situation. Sag, Gemini, Pisces, and Virgo.

Gemini & Virgo (Communications) Not being afraid to speak your authentic truth to one another. Often, we are learning to communicate in all relationships through writing, texting, emails, phone, in person.
Can be how we word things in a negative or positive way.

Sag & Pisces (Sacral Charka) and the sound of creation.

What your speaking of is called the Dead Bedroom. There are many masculine and feminine who go through this in their relationships.
This tends to be about the deepest emotional and mental wounds concerning sex as the feminine and masculine.

The Mutable Cross:

Has a few different dimensions to the situation in relationships. It is Mutable in the sense, it is adaptable, adjusting, applying, and constantly expanding on self-education and education the opposite sex.

We learn this through magazines, newspapers, blogs, vlogs, webinars, seminars, camera, film, books, Cd´s, and often through publishing industry their are various belief systems around the globe.

We also go to a therapist, counselor, or unconventional methods.

This can be from sexual entertainment from the publishing and communications industry.

This can be from the medical axis of Virgo/Pisces and Capricorn/Cancer.

This deals with the emotional triggers of past traumatic experiences on body image, self-esteem, and deals with childhood wounds and also past romantic relationships, peers, and their is some type of deep fear involved.

There can be medical and biological issues they just are afraid to face.

There´s a whole long-list or reasons, so it´s getting down to the root of the issue.

The 5th house may also interfere since it may be your working or going to school.

As I have Sag and Capricorn in the 5th, which complicates relationships and work with just about everyone, because when the transits hit my chart to work or go to school, other people want to play and be entertained.

So it can be something that simple that in your 11th/5th house can cause problems between work, education, and relationships. How you use your time, and what you feel is more important.

Entertainment, fun, and pleasure sometimes comes last when you have to be at work, or be responsible in life for something.

It may be finding balance, making a schedule, and making time for one another.
May 15, 2019 at 17:28
(Aquarius) ShahRukh516
I am aquarius too,we are so Romantic and have high sexual drives, i don´t know why he is doing like this , i think he need some space, and yeah this month for us is going sad and worst, we r so much mental disturbed
May 15, 2019 at 17:56
(Aries) ram_goat » goldenlion32
>>It may be finding balance, making a schedule, and making time for one another.

^^so this is the best advice I have seen here so far...

The astrology of the situation is not apt to change much,

and the past is past and cannot be changed..


run the synastry tool on your 2 charts as well, and & think about the results.
it´s not an exact prescription, but do give the results some thoughts, then come back
and ask more questions. People really should start there first, but almost never do.

It seems both of you have some decisions to make, and some actions to take.
But deep down I think you know this already too.

Cancer sun, Aquarius sun, aries moon and aries rising are not things I think you tend to find written in the same sentence together either. At least not one that ends
happily.
May 15, 2019 at 19:51
(Cancer) Axelopian » ram_goat
Thank you, I put our details into the synastry chart thing. Here is what I got.
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May 15, 2019 at 19:51
(Cancer) Axelopian » ram_goat
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May 15, 2019 at 20:42
(Aries) ram_goat » Axelopian
https://horoscopes.astro-seek.com/l…

I meant that one, you put your info in there & his.

scroll down

It will give a brief explanation of the dynamics between you that can serve as
a starting point.

you two have a lot of squares in the moon dept. moon = emotions.

otherwise doesn´t look better or worse than anyone´s really.

from what you say, it sounds like things are basically ok, but there is
a lingering disconnect in the emotions department..

lot of clutter in the mooney stuff though.

there is more.. but start with the basics.

since you don´t report any harmful or illegal stuff going on, I imagine
with some self knowledge and change you could patch things up if you both want to.

there are issues though. but nothing is impossible.
May 15, 2019 at 20:51
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32
Third Eye : Chiron in Leo (Wounding & Healing) and Leo Mercury (Communication style).
Venus in Cancer (The way one loves, passion, attraction), Sun in Cancer (Ego), South Node in Cancer (Past Life Karma) or Past life in this life with emotional habits or addictions in a positive or negative way. Doing the same thing you’ve always done.
Throat Chakra:
Jupiter in Virgo (Husband, wealth, luck, and Power) & Moon in Gemini (Mother or feminine figure, emotions, feelings Gemini in Chiron (Wounding & Healing Communications).
Heart Chakra:
Love: South Node Libra (Past life Karma) or Past life in this life time of habits or addictions. Doing the same things you’ve always done.
Mars in Taurus (boyfriend, younger masculine) Action ruled by Venus and Romantic Love.
Solar Plexus: Power & Creativity,
The way you fight, argue, create and co-create together the reality you live in the positive and negative.
North Node Aries (Evolving into the Aries)
Moon in Aries (Mother, feminine figures, emotions, thoughts, and feelings
Mars in Aries (Spiritual/Military Warrior and the self, ego and 1st house issues.
Scorpio Pluto and Scorpio Pluto (Deep emotions, deep feelings, deep intimacy, introverted energy, inner transformation on the emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, sexual, and financial level.) (Spiritual/Warrior)
Sacral Chakra: Saturn in Sagittarius (Karma)
Uranus in Sagittarius unexpected events, twists, and turns in sex life. Unusual or unconventional sexual thoughts, emotions, feelings, interests from the mainstream.
Venus in Sagittarius (Girlfriend/Wife) Passion, love, erotic, exotic style.
Jupiter in Pisces (Husband, wealth, luck, and power). Expanding on the Pisces sexuality or attracted to Pisces energy.
Both Sagittarius and Pisces are ruled by Jupiter and Neptune.
Root Chakra (Survival)
Uranus in Capricorn, Neptune in Capricorn, North Node Capricorn (Evolving into Capricorn)
Lilith in Aquarius, Saturn in Aquarius, Sun in Aquarius, Mercury in Aquarius
Scorpio Pluto, Scorpio Pluto.
In Evolutionary Astrology, the Saturn in Capricorn (karma), Uranus in Aquarius (Wounding) and Scorpio Pluto (Transformation) are the rulers of the root chakra.
I wrote it out like this so you could see the soul intentions in the relationship.
You’re out of balance in a lot of energy with one another.
North Node Capricorn/South Node Cancer (Soul intentions)
North Node Aries/South Node Libra (Soul Intentions)
On has lessons of Conventional marriage, family, and children.
The other has soul intentions of relationships, harmony, balance, weighing the scales, and about the 1st and 7t house.
Solar Plexus issues with North Node Aries
Heart Chakra with South Node Libra
The other one is learning all the soul intentions from the Root Chakra until the top of Third Eye.
When the Nodal Transits come along with Saturn every two years you are learning certain lessons in this time frame.
What year did you start your relationship and which Saturn and Nodes?
May 15, 2019 at 21:21
(Aries) ram_goat » goldenlion32
I´m guessing she needs it spoon fed a bit more than that...

although both are accurate.
May 16, 2019 at 05:18
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » ram_goat
Yes, I had to go to bed to write anymore. Not easy learning this stuff. lol I think Generation X just finished learning some of this stuff energetically. Not like we can stop divine appointments, divine order, and divine appointments. I´ve had my share.
May 16, 2019 at 06:26
(Cancer) Axelopian » ram_goat
Nah, I don’t need it spoon fed thanks. I have been at a conference for work all day so haven’t had time to reply and won’t until later tonight properly. I understood and agreed with your points and appreciate others ways of explaining it too.
May 16, 2019 at 22:51
(Aquarius) ShayT.
Theres a youtuber called QueenAusetHeru her page is Ask An Aquarius, she has ALOT of videos that talk about this type of relationships/situations. I would put a link but theres more than one video that touches this topic.

Hope this helps alittle, maybe taking a look at some could help you see things in a different way.?
May 17, 2019 at 02:07
(Cancer) Axelopian » goldenlion32
Thank you so much GoldenLion32. I felt like we understood each other for years and now it’s like we are on completely different planets. We have both tried to spend more time with one another and had so many open and transparent talks about our feelings but still feel stuck.

We started in our relationship March 9th, 2011. And my Saturn is in Aquarius (is this what you mean?) it’s in my fifth house. And north node is in Capricorn at 0” 42 degrees.

His Saturn is in Sagittarius in the 9th house. North node is in Aries, the 12th house.
May 17, 2019 at 02:07
(Cancer) Axelopian » ShayT.
Thanks heaps lovely, I’ll give it a look ?
May 17, 2019 at 02:07
(Cancer) Axelopian » ram_goat
Thank you, I’ll have a go now :)
May 17, 2019 at 02:08
(Cancer) Axelopian » SpaceChild
Thank you so much. I feel so confused and sad and wish I knew how to proceed. I appreciate it
May 17, 2019 at 05:45
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user Gregor, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Axeloplane, I am talking from experience, my birthdate is 10 February 1960 leeds uk 8.50 am.
I Have sun aquarius, aries rising and moon cancer, I went out with a girl for nearly three years, forty years ago, she was cancer also moon cancer, date birth 3 July 1962 Leeds Uk 10.50am.
Realatiship like you have I never realsed I loved her so much til she left me, had to end though she was so possesive and jealous, I could not stand it, and we became more distant because of this control or jealousy even though I never ever even thought about another
May 17, 2019 at 06:19
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Gregor
System message: Post has been written by user Gregor, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Point, I am making he needs his freedom being Aquarius also more so with Aries rising, allow him that, still hard though for Cancer women to not want to possess, unless you or your planets suggest otherwise, sorry not looked at your chart.
All the best for your future.
May 17, 2019 at 08:38
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » Axelopian
Yes in 2011 the transits were SatCurn in Libra, Uranus in Pisces, North Node Capricorn/South Node Cancer. Then it switched to Uranus in Aries.
May 17, 2019 at 09:47
(Scorpio) SpaceChild » Axelopian
You´re welcome. I hope you find what you need to go forward and ´fix´ things. :83:
May 17, 2019 at 12:46
(Cancer) Axelopian » David Evans
Yeah that makes sense thanks x I’m definitely not a traditional woman at all haha
May 17, 2019 at 12:52
(Cancer) Axelopian » David Evans
I do! I love having fun and being adventurous sometimes but at the end of the day, there is nothing more that I want, than someone to do romantic activities and things with like , surprise each other with presents for no reason, set up a favourite meal before the other gets home as a surprise, tell each other how much we really love each other and connect ? definitely don’t get any of that and I have been very into him tor years ahhhh
May 17, 2019 at 20:39
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Axelopian
System message: Post has been written by user David Evans, who already deleted profile on this website:
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That actually sounds really nice! Heavy Leo influence by chance? Aside from Leo Chiron in 5th.
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