I´m in despair with this

November 23, 2022 at 19:41 (UT/GMT)
(Capricorn) Drumo
I´m in despair with this
I suffered all life

I lost mother at the age of 12, my grandma was mean to me when I was young, my sister cruel for two decades,in different aunties.

No female friendships although a lot of serendipity happened between 2013-2016

Nothing with women all life. I could have good educated, finances, lovely man, good qualities. More and more and more.

Had speech problems in the past and bullied by relatives. Bit of a hard home life.

I did everything. Very lonely man, the way I´ve achieved, look you would never say this.

I´m am decent looking, that´s why I get added by females on Instagram

I got nothing at my best for years of

-nothing on different online dating websites-i don´t know what message to say and men told me what messages to write, I must´ve sent hundreds and hardly any reply
-nothing from my community
-nothing from network or circle
-nothing from their network or circle
-nothing at clubbing
-nothing at pubs
-nothing when I go out
-nothing on social media bizzarley for years only now

-could I go abroad
-coffee shops
-meet ups
-places of worship
-joining society of interest

I did a lot of self development work, inner work, projections, body language, dress sense, energy levels

Changing my beliefs, how I hold, view myself

I know law of attraction well for years, go to psychics, spiritual things. I donate all the time. I made people happy

Next life to attract good life I work hard, determined, balanced, character, mindset, attitude, how I live.

Maybe I lived well so attract good life, karma, to experience, to grow, or learn lessons.

I just wanted female friends, in 2013 I had females recipricate to me when approached, when I went to theme park I had females look at me in late 2019, I go to busy train station and no one looks at me for ages.

Last 6 years dreadful. I worked hard excellent conduct, look nice. I worked very very hard in everything. Analyse things over and over again. Very precise. They said If I wanted something I have to work hard, I worked the most hardest of all time. Prayed a lot.

Same age, younger, more younger.

I´m 33, and it´s over for female friendships, I worked hard, extreme karma for next life

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November 23, 2022 at 22:24
(Scorpio) Astrocelestial

The fact that you are involved in charity and you donate is very good for you since you have the North Node in Pisces, and it is on the cuspid of the 12th house. As well, this placement can indicate attraction to spiritual stuff, and being religious is helpful for you. Add to that the placements in the 9th house, which support this.

The ruler of your 7th house of relationships is in the 12th house, which represents intangible things, fears, health, and so on. Generally, it can be hard to access the energy of the planets placed in this house. In your case, it could be harder since Aries is intercepted in this house. Probably this can be one of the reasons why you seem to struggle accessing this energy.

However, this energy can be activated by the planets that make aspects with your Mars. In your natal chart, Mars forms a trine with Venus, which is also the ruler of your Ascendant. Venus is at the cuspid of your 9th house. This house is connected to your beliefs, your spiritual level, but also higher education or foreign lands.

So being spiritual and religious can help you activate the energy of Mars. As well, have you considered moving abroad? Venus in the 9th house, triggering the ruler of your 7th house, can indicate a relationship with someone from another country. Also, the placement of Jupiter can indicate a good time abroad.

See, you have Jupiter on your 1st house, which can bring great opportunities if the energy is used properly. Jupiter expands and brings everything to a larger scale. For example, if you lack self-confidence, people can perceive you as a person with very low self-esteem. On the other hand, if you show you are confident in your actions, people will think you really know what you´re doing, and you are more reliable. Of course, there is also a risk of falling to the side where you are too arrogant because of your confidence. This is why you should use this energy in your favor. For sure you already managed some of it handling the difficult life situations you´ve been through.

You mentioned the word "despair," and this is probably also blocking you. The more you want something and becomes an obsession, the more you block that energy. Just let things go (which is also a lesson of your North Node), focus on your expansion and self-development, and the best things will come at the best moment.

Wish you the best
November 24, 2022 at 01:28
(Virgo) Aren Levi
"I did everything, had everything and worked the hardest."
Sooooo you are in despair because you desire a female friend or girlfriend and cant find one ?
November 24, 2022 at 02:03
(Pisces) MindInsideMatter
I think you need to stop looking for astrological aspects and go find yourself a girlfriend as that is what you desire(i got that impression.

Dwelling too much on the past is always going to keep us in the past, paralyzed from going forward and moving on ultimately.

Whenever we start to replay stories in our heads from what once was or too much into the future, it´s always from being unhappy in the now and not being able to look forward to anything at day to day basis.

It gets better. I wish you all the best.
November 24, 2022 at 08:31
(Taurus) Rusty7140
Firstly, I want to say I´m sorry. But to better understand why your experiences have resulted in this, this has been compiled for you. Your Moon (which represents impressions from your Mum) is in Capricorn, so debilitated, the Moon suggests whether or not we find support from women in the world, so when the Moon is debilitated the person tends to have a lot of obstacles and hurdles limiting being noticed by and quickly gaining support from women. Some people believe Capricorn Moon people have the toughest lives from a physical perspective that´s why they tend to become the strongest humans.

Source: Aquarian Astrology: Moon signs



Your Moon is squaring your Pluto which is a sign of deep, deep depression and can bring up feeling very alone. These feelings are present to help you transform. Remember your Moon is in a rough spot so the bug positive is that this aspect gives dynamism to act, people with harsh/strenuous aspects tend to develop more power by overcoming challenges. This can motivate you to create a better life for the future.

Source: Astro King: Moon square Pluto



Also, this pair of links could prove to be very useful. So it´s visible that you have Saturn conjunct Venus, Venus is the planet which attracts people for relationships, and Saturn is the planet which delays and restricts as well as shows where are fears are and doubt´s. Saturn conjunct Venus shows you may be very loyal (traditionally inclined) but you may experience harder than average times beginning a relationship but at the same time once in a relationship you are most likely loyal.

Source: Astro King: Venus conjunct Saturn



The more you understand yourself the more you have the option to control what may be holding you back. Wishing you the best of wishes.
November 24, 2022 at 08:55
(Capricorn) Drumo
Thank you very much all for your replies and many insights.
November 24, 2022 at 10:03
(Aries) BehindTheMilkyWay
You have Pluto in Scorpio in the 7th house on your descendant. Indicates very hard lessons and experiences that will affect this house (a life partner, marriage, relationship). It also squares Moon (feminine figures in life, emotions, mother, early upbringings and conditioning). Pluto with a negative aspect to Moon can bring and attract female individuals who use manipulation, emotional abuse, control, gaslighting, jealousy, overuse of power, psychological damage. You need to undergo a complete transformation regarding these themes. In addition, your Chiron is in Cancer in the 3rd house, showing that your deepest wound and what you have to heal in this life - and here is certainly a serious pattern of the above themes: Cancer represents mother, home, nurturing, emotions, feminine and it rules the Moon. It’s in the 3rd house that is responsible for communication, speech, writing, self expression through words and gestures.
It can be very hard to access the deepest wounds and childhood trauma sometimes. That’s why it appears that you already had worked so hard on yourself and your spiritually, changing beliefs and other self improvement work but the core issue still hadn’t changed. The deeper and more painful the wounds, the deeper they hide into your subconscious because the psych is trying to protect us from feeling pain. It is possible,
that you need a serious, deep and complete healing even with a therapist, a reiki master or either eft or emdr therapist who are specifically trauma aware and specialize in childhood trauma and perhaps, abuse as it can be not that easy to process by yourself.
November 24, 2022 at 18:30
(Capricorn) Drumo » BehindTheMilkyWay
Thank you very much for these insights.
November 24, 2022 at 21:21
(Aries) BehindTheMilkyWay » Drumo
Very welcome
November 25, 2022 at 10:17
(Capricorn) Drumo
Moon square Pluto, Saturn conjuct Venus etc. Pluto by DSC to transcend.

Sun and Mercury in house 10, I´ve had some nice opportunities.

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