Should I continue the relationship?

September 22, 2022 at 17:42 (UT/GMT)
(Pisces) Tina95
Should I continue the relationship?
Hi all, I have a question regarding my relationship. I really need advice as I don´t know what to do.

The relationship with my boyfriend is not perfect, but general loving and fun. So from how it is today, I would say I would like to continue the relationship.

The thing is: Recently I found out through friends and talks with him, that he did things in his past, I really, really dislike. Like partying way too much, getting physical with many girls, smoking and also physical arguments with other guys.

I KNOW that a lot of people have done these things, because many people want to experience different things in their early twenties.

But the thing is that my morals for what I think is good and right are so strong, I cannot ignore this. From a rational side I know it is normal, and it is past and over, but from an emotional side I can´t wrap my head around this. It literally hurts me to think about what he had done, because I always wanted someone like-minded - and somehow it now feels like an illusion, because my past-me never did these things.

I don´t judge his past behaviour in general, I don´t think he is a bad person, I just somehow don´t know if I am ever able to feel this unconditional love towards him again. Suddenly there are feelings of disgust, and this makes it hard for me to really "love".

I really don´t know what to do. It feels like I am exaggerating but this bad feeling won´t go away.

I think it is mainly due to my Scorpio Moon (intense emotions, cannot forget) and Capricorn Venus (loves responsibility).

And I am not sure what to do. Is this some kind of challenge for me to "get outside my ego"? Or does it just show that he cannot provide me the things I need in a relationship?

I am so confused. I suffered a lot in my past relationship and I am afraid to experience this again by trying to love someone who I just "can´t" love. If you know what I am mean.

What would you say would be right way to go, based on my chart? Any ideas are welcome.

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September 22, 2022 at 17:46
(Gemini) FOWL
There are some important factors here, especially since you´ve indicated fighting. How old is he now, and how long ago was he still getting into fights, and partying too hard? How long have you been with him?
The type of person who is willing to resort to violence... that potential is always there. That´s a hard one to get over. Some people are put into positions where they have to defend themselves, but personally the type of man that likes to get drunk and fight is a huge red flag for the kind of person I like to spend time with.
September 22, 2022 at 17:47
(Gemini) FOWL
Again... age is a huge factor here though, many men outgrow that stage.
September 22, 2022 at 18:05
(Pisces) Tina95 » FOWL
He is 27, my age.

As far as I know this party / fight time was in the time between 18-22, but how it sounded it lastest about 2 years.

We are together since one year. Before that he had a solid relationship for about 4 years.

So there is quite some time between it, yet I notice some of his "aggression". Not that he got ever physical with me, but you kind of notice the "act before thinking" behaviour. His Mercury is Square his Mars, I think that plays a role.
September 22, 2022 at 18:11
(Pisces) Tina95 » FOWL
I think and believe that too. But somehow I so quickly feel disgust towards him now where I know about these things.

I kind of get along with it, but as soon as something triggers to think of his past, these feelings come up again. And this can´t be it. I shouldn´t feel disgust towards my partner especially if the reasons lie in the past. But the feeling are there, I would be lying to myself if I ignore them.

I just wonder if they will ever go away. It is not fair for him too, he deserves a woman who loves him for how he is now.
September 22, 2022 at 18:52
(Pisces) Kareem Gamal » Tina95
Hey Tina! Hhhhhhh yesterday you were talking about nightmare and I had one today too! Hhhhh had sent me the vibes hhhhh...

I love to advice u that just to calm for know and try to not show any negative action or reaction untill u have finshed all the calculations that need to conclude and make actions! Being hurry for something whether for good or bad most times its not good SIS...

Im quite sure that there are many good people that will gives good advices whether they agree in a point or shares u many different thoughts... just wait cos moon is at leo´´´ try to relax!

I will happily will give advice after few moments tired a little bit sorry! Will charge my power and come back!

PLEASE try to tell us more about his birth chart... if possible including date of birth with time thank all bests SIS...
September 22, 2022 at 18:56
(Aries) diavolul » Tina95
Put his chart, here. As I was reading your post some things made me laugh because some things happened far in the past, if you was unsure you should have acted when you saw his violent nature not for what he did or because he had many girls (this is good for a man), if he cheated is blamable, of course...
September 22, 2022 at 18:59
(Pisces) Tina95 » Kareem Gamal
Oh god haha I didn´t want to send you nightmares, so sorry :D

Relax is good, although hard to do, when your mind is constantly working...

Here is his chart:
September 22, 2022 at 19:05
(Pisces) Tina95 » diavolul
Sure, here is is chart:

Well I can see some sort of "violent" nature in the sense that for example he once really insulted me (called me names) when we had an argument. It doesn´t feel like he was trying to hurt me, more like a reaction from pure overstress.

Tbh, he sometimes reminds me of a child. Something is not going his way or something makes him feel afraid and boom, the words and reactions come faster than he can think.
September 22, 2022 at 19:08
(Aries) diavolul » Tina95
You worry too much, the only thing I see at the first glance and it is kind of intense is that Mars in 7th, I have it and sometimes is intense for the people around me. No obvious cheater signs. Obviously, Uranian people are attracting people because of their unique appearance/style and can be challenging for a virgo, for sure.
September 22, 2022 at 19:11
(Aries) diavolul » Tina95
What is his signature sign, anyway, if the case? Cancer?
September 22, 2022 at 19:20
(Pisces) Tina95 » diavolul
Well I am not afraid of cheating.

I am and was just very selective with who I get involved with, and I strongly disagree with and dislike any kind of violence.

Yes, I am a very serious person in this regard, I lack being light-hearted about these things. I know. I am below average at "just having fun".

But this is the problem. I just feel this way. And knowing how he acted makes me feel disgust, which is toxic for both of us.

I just don´t know what is the healthy way to go. Sticking to my morals (ego?), or trying to soften them... but it feels like lying to myself... Thinking about his behaviour makes me sick to my stomach although there are 5 years between. And I don´t know how to feel better again. He obivously can´t change his past. And I feel like I am being unfair to him.
September 22, 2022 at 19:33
(Gemini) FOWL » Tina95
Ya, you are being very fair Tina. I don´t believe that anyone can counsel you on whether you should or shouldn´t break up with him.. that´s up to you in the end.. but if he´s had 5 years of relative peace, it may be worth judging him for the man he is now instead of the boy he was. If you feel threatened by him however, get out now.
September 22, 2022 at 19:36
(Gemini) FOWL » Tina95
Have you talked to him about this yet? If it´s bothering you inside, there is NO way to continue this relationship in a healthy manner without getting it out in the open either way. That´s a difficult conversation, but you will need to have it whether you stay with him or break up.
September 22, 2022 at 19:43
(Aries) diavolul » Tina95
Then you should end it in the following weeks, it is appropriate in Venus invisibile to do it.
September 22, 2022 at 19:49
(Pisces) Tina95 » FOWL
Oh yes I had. He said I needed to live with it as he can´t change his past, which is true. But I don´t really feel heard.

E.g., we wanted to go out for dinner and he suggested a restaurant in a city nearby. In this city all this "time" happened.

I said I didn´t want to go there as it reminds me of his past which I still struggle with. So I suggested another restaurant because I wanted to have a really, truly nice evening without these thoughts in the back of my mind. But instead of being understanding, he started discussing

"If I will ever go there again" and
"This has no future" and
"You are being overly sensitive" etc.

Like yeah, I know, but I just asked for going to another restaurant... I need his support if we want to keep this going, and this pressure doesn´t help at all. I also talked about a possible break up because I don´t want to make his life complicated because of my feelings. But there again, he starts discussing again...

"We don´t break up because of these minor things" etc

I think he just don´t get how much I am emotionally struggling with this.
September 22, 2022 at 19:59
(Gemini) FOWL » Tina95
It sounds like you are being open and very fair about it... you can´t help if it changes how you see him. To give yourself to a man is a huge deal... you have to feel safe and secure... I can understand why you are having a hard time with this.
September 22, 2022 at 20:12
(Pisces) Tina95 » FOWL
Thank you for your understanding, this makes me feel better
September 22, 2022 at 20:17
(Gemini) FOWL » Tina95
Wow, just looked at your chart... ya... you are a DEEP feeler. To have such a tight bucket of energy in the fall-winter signs (Scorpio Moon especially of course), and then all that energy in the receptive, setting, beneath the horizon houses... you stew on things so deeply and can never let them go.
Then you have this Mars as the handle, above the horizon and projective... in Leo! In the eleventh! What do you do to release all that energy? Are you active in organizing groups for things you are interested in? You have a powerful energy for being a focal point of motivating others.
September 22, 2022 at 20:17
(Gemini) FOWL » FOWL
And then caring deeply about how they do.
September 22, 2022 at 20:20
(Gemini) FOWL » Tina95
I find Mercury Squaring a Scorpio Moon is a deeply exacerbating factor on that tendency to really stew in negative thoughts.
So I wonder, while you have valid concerns with your partner... what are the chances you can find a partner you WON´T have past issues to upset you and obsess over? Your Moon trines Saturn and your Sun, so I´d suggest when it comes to you getting deep into Scorpio Moon rumination territory... take a moment to come out of it and really evaluate as practically and logically as you can what the real world effects of your upsetting fears and concerns are.
Again... I think your concerns are valid... but in looking at your chart... these are some considerations I´d recommend you take into account.
September 22, 2022 at 20:28
(Pisces) Tina95 » FOWL
Yeah I hate this sometimes. And when I feel so deeply about something which concerns me personally, I get reminded that other people have way worse problems... and boom, I feel even WORSE than before because now I am also questioning myself and feeling bad for others who have it worse than me hahaha

I don´t really know how to release the energy tbh. This is probably why I am so tense all the time.

I would say mostly at work, I very often make internal improvements to see my team colleagues happier. I sometimes like to take lead of groups but yeah, then I am shy again and argh... I don´t really know... I should find something except work to handle this better
September 22, 2022 at 20:35
(Pisces) Tina95 » FOWL
Yes my boyfriend also said this. You both have a point.

Will I ever find a partner with a past which will not trigger any of my strong emotions? Probably not. Was I always so damn selective with my only two partners because I deep down know so many little things upset me? Probably.

It is just so frustrating. I know my feelings kind of work against the real world. But I just want to feel safe. And calm. I hate to be upset all the time but this is the reality for most of my life.
September 22, 2022 at 20:37
(Gemini) FOWL » Tina95
My ex was a Scorpio Moon.. I know all about it. One of the most difficult placements to live. And your chart accentuates that in a few ways. It´s your Leo Mars in the Eleventh which is your saving grace... you have to me active in the community... it will help you get out of your own head.
September 22, 2022 at 20:45
(Pisces) Tina95 » FOWL
I will look for ways to do this :) Thank you for the idea
September 22, 2022 at 20:59
(Gemini) FOWL » Tina95
My pleasure!
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