YOUR first relationship ♥ What did you learn?

May 8, 2022 at 13:58 (UT/GMT)
System message: Post has been written by user S-Kandlin, who already deleted profile on this website:

YOUR first relationship ♥ What did you learn?
What did you learn from your first big relationship?

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May 8, 2022 at 14:44
(Sagittarius) Nos sonhadores
thats its not so intelligent to throw in all my energy efford love expectations (into the relationship) ...
May 8, 2022 at 14:48
(Pisces) 11 » Nos sonhadores
May 8, 2022 at 15:59
(Libra) Lib_8
To go with my gut. If something doesn’t feel right listen to the signs.
May 8, 2022 at 16:19
(Leo) Anni23
That I Cannot be in a relationship without a intellectual-soul link ever because otherwise I´d die from the Boredom

Seriously, even at the risk of ending up alone...
The fear is Real :61:

And you can´t just silence your thoughts and not communicate ideas with your partner
May 8, 2022 at 18:43
(Taurus) » Anni23
System message: Post has been written by user S-Kandlin, who already deleted profile on this website:
I can so relate to that. Actually, that´s the reason why one of my relationships ended. The lack of intellectual exchange and things to talk about. We hit a wall.
May 8, 2022 at 19:42
(Leo) prollygonnamakeit
Nor to cheat on a girl is worth it, secondly don´t enter a relationship if yous cheat, defeats the purpose of a relationship,

Also learned boundaries and not letting her have so much of my energy, having balance and also communicating this with the other person so they won´t think I´m losing interest
May 8, 2022 at 20:50
(Virgo) rohini moon
That a man having his Sun conjunct my Moon isn´t always ideal. :15:
May 8, 2022 at 23:07
(Sagittarius) Nos sonhadores » Lib_8
i like that !
May 8, 2022 at 23:08
(Sagittarius) Nos sonhadores » Anni23
its called platonic love ...seems like that reading it
May 9, 2022 at 02:29
(Scorpio) JessSezItSoftly
I love this question! Tough for me to say because I kind of married my first big relationship...

But, I will tell you that when I met my husband it made me realize the difference between grown up serious MAN, and a young, inexperienced, immature guy that just waist your time!

I guess I learned the huge difference between guys that dont know what they want or how to treat a lady, and guys that DO when it comes to asking a woman out, dating and courting them.....

HUGE difference
May 9, 2022 at 04:17
(Taurus) Morena_Lu
That love is giving, learning that what you give is what you will get in return.
That you should always be honest and true to yourself because every person is like a mirror.

That being possessive is actually a trap , that you can escape from everyone but not from yourself. You can only "fix" yourself, others will change as you change. That letting go is a way to grow, what is for you will always find a way to you, what is can chase it, but you will never have it...

That nothing is "perfect" but it is always what you need at that moment for some reason.

That I need freedom and to be on my own always, but that I should make some space for another person.

That I can love only deeply or not at all, and that some people will never really know me, but that is also ok.

Having a lot of :160: energy and :181:NN is like wanting everything and nothing at all(and having everything and nothing at all )and trying to find your place under the sun and be happy..
May 9, 2022 at 04:53
(Leo) Anni23 » S-Kandlin
Exactly. It ends up being less of a exchange process which kills the emotional bond too
When you don´t even know what the other person is thinking!
May 9, 2022 at 05:31
(Gemini) stigmí
For me relationships are torture. I am not enjoying to write it, but its true that my first big relationship learned me in fact not to trust... It was really wonderfull, my partner had sun on my Venus and everything seemed clear, but it was illussion.
To understand love and relationships is for me still very difficult.
But! My first big relationship was my first relationship ever, so for me was everything new. I learned my first steps to know man (because I grew without father), how to open myself mainly with painfull emotions, how to share to be cared...and we have together son...
Until we broke up, I thought noone can be better...But priorities changed everything....
May 9, 2022 at 06:23
System message: Post has been written by user Owlmate, who already deleted profile on this website:
During my bankruptcy (I like this term, since it´s about a material, brain loss, even if the whole thing allows to grow up in consciousness) relationships I´ve learnt that things have never to be one-sided and that if there are no friendship and no mutual comprehension, well, let it die.
Moreover, it is salvific taking into account the fact that """love""" - I mean the one everybody uses to dream about instead of observing reality (and I also made this mistake too often) - can easily end when it freaking wants, since it is always about momentary crushes, sexual silliness, obsessions or apathetic habitude.
... seems I made a mashup of all my experiences so far. Sorry, but they all were like a recurrent first time for me.
May 9, 2022 at 07:44
(Virgo) Del65
That something weird is going on. Reality isn´t flowing as it should...

It´s a long story (sigh) :64:
May 9, 2022 at 08:34
(Aquarius) Catch-22
Love is not a victory march...
May 9, 2022 at 10:33
(Virgo) MONA_ROZA » prollygonnamakeit
Bu cümle gerçekten düşündüğüm ama kelimeler ile anlatamadığım bir cümle.
Bu durumu çok yaşadım.
Teşekkürler :64: :78:
May 9, 2022 at 10:37
(Virgo) MONA_ROZA » Del65
Ben bu hikayeyi zevkle dinlerim.
Lütfen bana anlatın.
Uzun cümlelerden asla sıkılmam.

:64: :122: :78:
May 9, 2022 at 11:05
(Cancer) sadiemae100
So much. Mainly about myself & some hard life lessons. I learned that two people can love each other yet do nothing but hurt one another.
May 9, 2022 at 11:44
(Scorpio) Angelina
That when older men choose mainly only much younger women as their partners, they are insecure, have many inner problems and complexes
May 9, 2022 at 16:26
(Scorpio) Graham
To not put your partners on a pedestal, yet always treat them with respect.
May 9, 2022 at 16:53
(Taurus) » prollygonnamakeit
System message: Post has been written by user S-Kandlin, who already deleted profile on this website:
I didn´t say she lacked intelligence. Not at all. On the contrary, she was very intelligent and educated. The lack was of intellectual exchange, nothing else. And by that I mean on a cultural and social level. We were interested in different things and we eventually ran out of things to talk about.

I am very curious as a person, I like to get to know people on a deeper level, and to do so you want to understand the person, his/her thoughts and feelings. You need to really LISTEN to a person to learn something about him/her, and I like LISTENING. She wasn´t very interested in talking about such things. I also like to talk about philosophy, ideas and abstract concepts in general, that´s just me. She wasn´t very interested in talking about such things either. So we didn´t have much in common. Of course I was interested in how her day was and what she had for lunch and what her plans for tomorrow were, but if you TRULY want to bond with someone, I believe we have to open up to each other more than that from time to time. I don´t blame her at all, we were just different and couldn´t suite our needs of emotional connection, support and intellectual exchange (which I value).

I totally agree with you on intelligence and IQ. I don´t like the word intelligence and how it is used to measure how ”smart” a person is. That says nothing about the social competence and social/emotional intelligence.

Your "lecture" was not needed :) It seems to me that you jumped to conclusions without knowing very much about me or the situation. If you really want to understand me and my thought processes, then ask and listen and I´ll tell you more.
May 9, 2022 at 23:54
(Virgo) Del65 » MONA_ROZA
Translation from Turkish: ”I enjoy listening to this story. Please tell me. I never get bored of long sentences.”
OK, I will describe the initial normality-bending event:

Our relationship was a rocky, on-off affair, with me largely being non-committal. But after we´d gotten our second apartment together, I was sitting alone and had the thought, “Here we are still together after a year and a half – I should start being nice to her” (i.e. pamper her). It was more than a thought, it was a decision to ´step up´ and acknowledge her importance in my life by showing my appreciation of her.
But, the moment I had this thought, a ´voice of inner guidance´ said, “She´ll leave you [if you be nice to her].” I both trusted this inner voice and didn´t want her to leave, so I remained my usual nonchalant self, going forward.

Now, in what f**king upside down universe does a woman who isn´t getting the attention she needs up and leave her man the moment he starts giving it? (Granted, there is that ´Australian´ saying, “Treat ´em mean, keep ´em keen”, but anyway... )

So our relationship muddled onwards (infact we started seeing other people during this phase), and it was a year later, in yet another apartment, that I finally fell in love with her – actually via the realization that she was my best friend. In response, this woman who´d lately been telling me she loves me and that she believes we belong together, suddenly became aloof, then left me.

OK, it could be argued that she didn´t really love me but was simply on a subconscious quest to prove to herself that she is lovable, and once she had that proof she moved on. But infact this is a pattern which has been echoed in every mutual attraction in my life ever since: the moment my ´emotional barometer´ reaches a certain level, :95: she is outa here..!
Hindsight tells me that had I gone through with ´being nice to´ my first partner (who infact was my first everything: 1st girlfriend; 1st sex; 1st love) on that original occasion, this very act would´ve ´triggered´ me to fall in love with her, which in turn would´ve triggered her to dump me.
Meanwhile, eight years after my first love left me and was gone, gone, gone and not looking back, there I am having her voice mysteriously appear on tape recordings; experiencing a liquid ´tear´ manifest at the eye of a mounted photograph of her (much like that ´weeping Virgin Mary statue´ phenomenon); being woken up in the middle of the night by her plaintive voice insisting that she loves me..!

This love relationship-oriented paranormality is actually a generic phenomenon known as the Love Bite/Dark Cupid. I have already posted the video about it several times on this site, but since you are a classic curious Virgo (with a probing Scorpio moon, no less), I shall indeed post it again:

Plus its sequel:

So there goes your long story, thank you for asking, and I won´t bore these other poor people any longer.

:23: :23: :78: :23: :23:
May 10, 2022 at 05:37
(Virgo) MONA_ROZA » Del65
Cok teşekkürler.
May 10, 2022 at 07:55
Bulunduğumuz yüzyılda ilişkiler söz konusu olduğunda türeyen ilişki kurtlarinin kendine vermiş olduğu isim "deneyim" konusunda da pek bilgim olmasa da benimde söyleyeceklerim var.

Açıkçası kimse evli ya da bir ilişki içinde olmak zorunda değil.
Herkesin hayatında bir partner olmak zorunda değil.
Çünkü herhangi bir ilişki türünün sorumluluğu, sevgi alış verişini, maddi manevi olarak denge de kalmayı Herkesin yapabileceği bir şey değil.
Bazi insanların yanliz yaşaması gerekiyor.
Ama benim ilişki konusunda edindiğim ana fikir ve his.
Üşümek oldu.
Konu başlığı için teşekkürler.
Posts: 1-25 26-37
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