8th house synastry - Discussions, questions

ZeinaZ Hey,

Not many fans of the 8th house outer there lol.

There´s a strong sense of intimacy, especially if the personal planets are there, like a deep sense of understanding, shared values, or feeling, etc.

On a more hidden level, some shared unconscious factors, which depends in the two people involved. This might be a surprise to the two people when they come up in the relationship to deal with.

Astro-Seek.com System message: Post has been written by user Morena_Lu, who already deleted profile on this website:
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It can be very transformative...but you need to be mature and wise to know how to handle it. It is not just some attraction /passion, but you are probably 20 years old or something like that, not sure you can really realize potential of that house, or you can ..but just one part. It can change you deeply, but it can be on good or bad way, depending of how much person is aware of what she is doing/projecting..

sadiemae100 » Morena_Lu I will be 22 in June... was in a relationship from age 17-21 that had strong 8th house synastry & composite chart 8th house stellium, it was a very life changing & transformative relationship..

Zephyrin If the partner is a Scorpio in that 8th house synastry, run away or stay and witness how wasted your time will get. Congrats, if you do not go crazy at the end.

I´m still questioning a painfully ambiguous relationship for 4 years, with its ups and downs; there is a deep friendship but I feel he does not want it that way, both of us do nothing about it. Ugh I hate the word "friendship" here. Yeah, that´s exactly what 8th house synastry feels like in my part.

When I encounter a 8th house synastry again, I´ll run away if I can. It is devouring.

Astro-Seek.com » Zephyrin System message: Post has been written by user Morena_Lu, who already deleted profile on this website:
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It doesn´t need to be that bad. I think that it can end good if you know how to handle that energy. But people attract people according to their own charts and energy I think..

Sometimes I think that ultimate purpose of our existence is to learn how to be pure love. Probably in that case we would not need astrology at all, transits..we would never ask if some person will hurt us or not, and similar questions. I think that people are afraid to love, to open their hearts, they play games because they don´t want to be disappointed once again..but it leads to some sad life, life without a real meaning/purpose..


But mostly (unfortunately) 8 th house synastry is like this

Astro-Seek.com System message: Post has been written by user Jaided, who already deleted profile on this website:
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With every sign and house out there, it can either go positively or negatively so don´t be alarmed by others experiences. 8th is ultimately about deep bonds and as we know, deep bonds can be either go very good or very bad.

sadiemae100 » Zephyrin Devouring!! Great word to sum it up.

sadiemae100 » Morena_Lu That is a very nice sentiment. So you believe 8th house energy has to be handled with love in order to be successful & not end badly?

sadiemae100 » boyakasha Brutal & cruel. Key words!!

Cancerman23 My pluto is in my gf´s 8th house. She´s obsessed with me. Stopped hanging out with her friends around the time she met me, and only wants to spend time with me.
Also her Pluto is in my 7th.

stigmí » boyakasha Oh nice!!
I have same in my partner´s chart...

I should be same bitch!

stigmí I have in my partner´s chart north node, mars, jupiter, saturn and he has in mine vertex, mars, chiron...
In our composite is in 8th house conj of sun, mars, mercury and venus...

What does it mean for us?

Long time i didnt find anything that could point on scorpio energies between us. We are both quite plutonic (he more). First two years we never quarell. But last year happened something that broke our innocent trust and from this time it started. It opened great pain between us and we try to figure what it is and where it come from...it is not only from our relationship, but also from another relationships, from our relationship to Life, deep and so on...sometimes it is not able to handle this...many times I wanted to quit it, but something still hold us together...

Sorry fo my english...

jamarlt I have a moon in Aries in the 8th conjunct South Node, both in opposition with Pluto. I am really only now reconciling the depths and intensity of this placement. I´ve gotten better at ignoring aspects of this as I´ve gotten older but it´s in the bricks.

I looked over charts of previous relationships or people in my life to review how their planets in my 8th affected me/us.

Geez. That explains it. So my first long term relationship was with a woman that had the Sun and Venus in Aries in the 8th both opposite her Pluto. This landed her 8th in my 8th with both of her planets planets conjunct my Moon and both are in opposition to my Pluto. This started off with an obscenely high level of emotional and physical intimacy. At that age I was extremely private. on anything indicating weakness, dependency, need - I could have minor surgery that morning, hangout with friends later that day and they´d never know. She threw a spotlight on pretty much everything covered by the 8th. This started exciting but it ended up being a very difficult relationship that crashed after 2.5 years.

Another person I know has Venus and Mercury in Aries in my 8th. She also has Sun in my 8th but in Pisces. If I´m being honest, there are moments when my attraction to her was just jarringly uncomfortable.

One more with Mars conjunct Jupiter in my natal which landed in her 8th. This relationship also had my Pluto conjunct her Venus - she was dragged to me like a magnet in spite of several formalities in the situation that made this relationship ill advised. She initiated and seemed to be enthralled by the experience. 20 years later we still check in on one another.

Last one. My dad has his Mars, Venus and Mercury in my 8th - all of which conjunct my Moon and South Node in opposition to my Pluto. My Asc Conjuncts Sun Conjuncts Mercury are in Virgo which is his 8th. He was never around, radically undependable and a literal habitual liar.

In my experience, when someone´s planets fall into my 8th, especially if it conjuncts my moon - the effects can be rather intense, uncomfortably exposing - and yet I think I instinctual crave these type of connections.

stigmí » boyakasha

sadiemae100 » jamarlt Wow, it seems you have experienced all the different ways the energy can manifest! I can understand why you would continue to be drawn to 8th house connections, one thing about them is their way of making more surface level relationships feel as if they are a lacking a certain intensity.. thanks for sharing! :)

sadiemae100 » stigmí Trust being broken & how to get past it was a large factor in my experience as well, possibly a theme with 8th house synastry.. best of luck..!

Zephyrin » Morena_Lu It would be easier to cut that relationship off if there were games, manipulations etc, but the problem was life itself; wrong timing, depression, difficulties with job, moving somewhere, sudden mishaps. That is, our relationship is hard earned, feels nice but also deteriorated by these.

From my another experience, I think 8th house synastry may show a partner that is hard to have and that´s what makes it special. Probably that´s why people endlessly talk or ask questions about this type of synastry. Even if most usually deny it, they enjoy the hard way of having someone, because in long-term, almost no one actually cares about a partner he/she effortlessly have and seeks for someone else they´ll struggle to have. That´s also what I realized in men´s approach to love and women.

I like 8th house dominant relationships because it tests our capability to love. And you made a nice point, perhaps it is closely related to learning the pure love, which seems intimidating for many.

jamarlt » sadiemae100 Hi Sadiemas100. Thank you for responding. Yes, I think that´s correct. If I´m being honest, I´m not even a fan of shallow friendships lol.

astreo All those people who speak ill of the 8 is because they need to mature.

The 8th house will only show its positive facet in people who have evolved and who have the maturity to be reborn in their best version.

I have 3 planets in the 8th house and I have been in various relationships with synastry and charts composed in the 8th.

Here the MAIN question you should ask yourself is
Do we both have the maturity to deal with this intensity?
Because one may have it, but if the other doesn´t, then it will show its negative side, THAT´S WHAT THIS HOUSE IS ABOUT, it´s not you anymore, it´s BOTH.

I met a person with the same chart as me, therefore the positions fell in house 8 in synastry and compound, he was and is too immature to bond. But I have also been with other people where the relationship is beautiful and intense, a very strong union, the sex is incredible!

So, if both of you are evolved (which is difficult for young people), get ready to enjoy this house, where intimacy is the energy of the relationship.

sadiemae100 » astreo I agree for the most part. It not only requires maturity of both parties but who both desire to have deep intimacy within their relationship.

8th house can be the basis of high, highs or low, lows..

I feel majority of the time people get the lesser experience of a combination of the highs & lows, left to feel either unsatisfied or burned..

Astro-Seek.com » Zephyrin System message: Post has been written by user Morena_Lu, who already deleted profile on this website:
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"I like 8th house dominant relationships because it tests our capability to love. And you made a nice point, perhaps it is closely related to learning the pure love, which seems intimidating for many."

Some people don´t like intensity, they like maybe more like friends/ lovers combination ( which I also think is totally ok). Since I am also living that energy of the 8 th, I know that I can only have some deep bond/ commitment/ trust...or it will crumble and die.
From my personal experience..not a lot of people will understand that, some just want validation for their ego( can they seduce you), some to have something shallow and temporary, some of them are lost in their own world and they don´t know what they are seeking actually...

With that mercury in the 8 th I can play role of psychologist for them, but to be honest - I don´t want to date patients.😅

sadiemae100 » jamarlt See for me sometimes a friend that I can belly laugh & be myself with is all I need, maybe that is my Gemini moon..

sadiemae100 » Morena_Lu Everyone has different priorities, if someone prefers to maintain a level of independence & freedom within their relationship, the deeper bond & intimacy of 8th house energy could be perceived in a codependent light.

Astro-Seek.com » sadiemae100 System message: Post has been written by user Morena_Lu, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Maybe you should read again what I wrote.;)

I am aware that we are all different, we are all talking from our own experience.

8 th house synastry is also about freedom and independence, if it is a healthy one, if it is not some manipulation game where people try to control every aspect of that relationship..

Watch that movie"Original sin", it is 8 th house synastry.

Jessijessi504 My last two relationships had my sun in their 8th house. One had his sun in my 8th also.
Both had 8th house composite placements.
I noticed with the sun in your partners 8th- if the house person hasn’t done any shadow work, it seems to be a jarring experience for them.
The sun shining all that light on things people have no experience or perhaps even willingness to see in themselves— well let’s say it’s not usually welcome and definitely not for the faint of heart.
Someone that’s willing to grow in self awareness will probably benefit.
I believe the 8th house sm experiences of deep divine union/ heiros gamos and the like for those who have faced and embraced themselves and can do the same with their person.