Always remained friends with ex- should we try again now that we´re older?

March 19, 2022 at 14:16 (UT/GMT)
(Aries) FanishaNisha
Always remained friends with ex- should we try again now that we´re older?
We were in a relationship when we were fresh out of high school, with a lot of growing to do. We´ve remained friends over the years, but recently started speaking almost daily. It´s really easy to talk and be open, so old feelings are being dredged back up (keep dreaming about him also). Thoughts?

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March 20, 2022 at 07:57
(Taurus) Morena_Lu
From what I see, it is like you and him are better like friends. There is a feeling like emotional bond is not there or not that strong, also like one side is not really sexualy into another one. Maybe I am wrong, but it is like you feel safe with him and you can talk with him about almost everything..but you don´t feel really loved and that is what can bother you. Like..why I can´t have more, he is nice but where are "🦋". I don´t like Saturn in the 8 th house,
it´s like a blockade. Bond with you two is almost like telepathic, and it is nice to have that kind of relationship. But code of two of you is 437, like some kind of coldness and distance is always there and that can be a problem for one side or for both of you. But if I am wrong, I hope that you will hear another opinion that will help you. After all, listen to your heart, deep inside is everything you need to know.

Good luck!:)
March 20, 2022 at 10:16
(Taurus) feelgoodwithuidoido
“Dredged up” sounds a little murky…

It sounds like you two deeply care about each other and have a bond that’s not volatile from the chart. Potential for that easy, stable relationship. As I am older, I have more value for that vs. passion. It’s like growing an oak tree. Is this good for the tree? Would you want to be rooted nearby. If so, how close? Does it stay stable when you’re more than friends? Is it worth trying out to see?

If you were able to forgive the past and understand the dynamic of why younger you didn’t work out, I think you could do it. Try holding hands and let your hearts communicate. If it’s just loneliness, don’t sacrifice your friendship out of longing. Your heart knows like Morena says! If there is nourishment on the other side and whether to take that plunge…🙏💙💦
March 20, 2022 at 16:27
(Aries) FanishaNisha » Morena_Lu
Thanks for the insight. That distance is kinda how it felt when we were younger. He´s worked through some background things, but still seems to have this bit of himself that doesn´t feel understood/loved. That´s just based on family/friends that are consistently around. You are correct about that safe feeling to an extent also, plus we can talk about literally everything lol.
March 20, 2022 at 16:36
(Aries) FanishaNisha » feelgoodwithuidoido
Thank you for the insight. It took me a long time get over our break-up. Distance helped me continue moving forward, while we worked on just being friends over the years. I´m still far, but the reconnection is making me remember all of the things I loved about him- hence the dredge lol. I understand why we didn´t work in the past and we both have matured alot, but still have some room to grow. I am trying to figure out if it´s his genuine friendship that I missed or are the feelings more deep than I want to admit.
March 20, 2022 at 17:38
(Taurus) feelgoodwithuidoido » FanishaNisha
Are you really clear on what you want from a relationship (family, companionship, sex, stability long term, etc)?

That tends to really simplify everything, because even with problems in the past, you know who he is and if you’re committed to each other you can work through things. But if you don’t agree on what you’re forming, it’s still a form of play and self growth through friendship/situationship vs. relationship/marriage. Either is good, but waste your time and energy if you want something different than he does from a relationship. If you guys have great communication and honesty, it’s easier to understand if you should risk getting involved again like that.

If you’re in alignment there or don’t have deal-breakers, you’d have to bring up specific issues with personality or dynamics to get into the charts. But I find astro synergy only goes so far. Transits, karmas, progressed charts…you can lose your mind over it or put the cart before the horse when exploring pairing up.
March 20, 2022 at 18:35
(Taurus) feelgoodwithuidoido » Morena_Lu
Morena, I am not assuming you’re in this category with regard to spark-connection and being an attractive woman dating, but I can tell you that authentic connection and synergy with where your paths are going is so much more important for something lasting. There’s a type of passion that grows in that co-creation and alignment of paths. Whereas, butterflies fade, and guys who make you feel butterflies and spark are often making other women feel them too. It’s a factor, but would put it low for a lasting relationship.

I like this guy. He reminds me how to stay focused. :61:
https://youtu.be/DKt4C7HA9ns
👆
YouTube
YouTube
March 20, 2022 at 18:56
(Aries) FanishaNisha » feelgoodwithuidoido
I haven´t brought up the topic to him. So far I´ve just been thinking about how I feel about him because I do want a relationship. You are right about putting the cart before the horse because I don´t know how he feels, other than wanting to talk everyday. It´s such a familiar feeling, so I´m probably just over thinking things lol. I enjoy our friendship and think that it can be a great foundation to move forward especially because the communication flows so easily. Thanks again for letting me hash this out with you.
March 20, 2022 at 20:00
(Taurus) Morena_Lu » feelgoodwithuidoido
I can tell that you misunderstood my reply to her. I could not be further from some shallow approach when dating is in question, passion is not everything, well..it is - if you live in some Spanish telenovela and you think that love is equal to drama. For me love is about respect, freedom, you support that person and grow with her while you still take care of your life, friends, family..

You will not always be young and attractive, everything will fade with time , sex will not be as it used to be, you will have kids,obligations..You will be happy to have some time to sleep before you go to work..One day you will be happy if you have someone to hold your hand and watch some sunset..

________
But also, we are humans, you need to be physically attracted to some person, there should be some sexual bond or eventually you will find it somewhere else, you will leave that person..Why people divorce? Think about it..

It is perfect if you can have great chemistry with someone, best if you can be both best friend and lover with that person..at least for me. I could not date someone that I am not attracted to, because I don´t like to lie.
Lying to yourself is equivalent to deep betrayal. If you spend a lot of time convincing yourself that you´re someone different than who you truly feel you are from the inside, then life is going to be much tougher for you than it needs to be..
But I need a lot, not all people will ask for what I ask for. It is my personal opinion, and maybe it is because of my chart ..but I would rather be alone if I can´t have what I want, if that is a price to pay- I will pay it any day.


Also, she has Venus in pisces, her code is 279..she is ALL about emotions, family..She will not be satisfied with some shallow connection..But again, if she is lucky with him, who are we to judge?



We should try to give more love, not just to ask, ask for her..How many people will say- I just want to love someone, to give my heart to another person? We should try more and give more, and maybe we will realise in the end -it was not about receiving..it was actually about giving...

"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."
YouTube
YouTube
March 21, 2022 at 02:14
(Taurus) feelgoodwithuidoido » FanishaNisha
It makes perfect sense. I do think you´ll probably benefit from making yourself a little more scarce. Things slide into that ambiguous frie-lationship status if you talk with someone with your connection and past history like that everyday.

You can even tell him that. I dunno how long you guys have been talking on the daily, but he´ll prob understand or explain if he´s wanting to develop something. Or maybe he´ll could realize with the extra space, that he does have feelings he might not have realized or been hesitant to share with you too?
March 21, 2022 at 03:55
(Aries) FanishaNisha » feelgoodwithuidoido
Thanks again for the suggestions. It will definitely help.
March 21, 2022 at 04:14
(Taurus) feelgoodwithuidoido » FanishaNisha
All good... :3: Sleep tight :78:
March 21, 2022 at 04:18
(Taurus) feelgoodwithuidoido » Morena_Lu
Wow, Morena, it´s a lot! -more love philosophy tomorrow :79: :23:

https://www.youtube.com/watch/…
YouTube
YouTube
March 23, 2022 at 03:37
(Taurus) feelgoodwithuidoido » Morena_Lu
I don´t think I misunderstood you.

But a connection can actually be deeper if it´s not starting too quickly or in the physical or emotional bodies. Pine needles and leaves spark and burn out quickly. Logs take longer to get going, but they heat the entire cave overnight.

Someone isn´t shallow for wanting sexual attraction with their partner. If that´s important for where you are in your life, it´s not for me to judge. 30% important, 60% important, it´s not for me to judge. It takes some friction or heat to start any fire. I am only suggesting that there are different types, and you have no appreciation if you only learn to build a certain type.

What´s most imporant to understand is what you want from a relationship. The term "love" is subjective and isn´t always the most important factor when creating a family. Even what we think the word means evolves from our place of understanding over time. Many, many Indian people have successful arranged marriages, because they insist on prioritizing family over their own personal interests and desires. They do have issues for sure, but they often press through and create strong partnerships that develop into loving bonds and partnerships for the sake of their entire family. That might seem crazy to some in other cultures, but it comes down to what´s the most important. My Mom said my dad wasn´t the guy she was most attracted to, but she knew he would always care for her and be a good man she could be with over time. They are deeply connected and kind and loving to each other to this day. He was a very good dad, and I appreciate my parents for those values they instilled.

What I´m saying is if you insist on having everything "you want," it´s fine. -All good! BUT IF...IF you want a marriage and family and you´re a woman over 30, you need to be practical. Revisit those nice guys who you truly liked but weren´t hot enough to get you excited before. Men who want family are not looking for you after 30. So if you´re super attractive, you´ve got a little more time, but you´re going to miss your window of opportunity faster than you might think.

Many women mistake being able to attract guys with being able to attract guys who will make a family. It´s just a huge span of distance that grows every year. If you have many guys around your whole life, you might not realize that that the certain type is disappearing more and more. There´s always water to drink, but it gets more brackish. That might sound harsh for me to say, but it´s actually intended it to be a kind message. You are statistically much better off picking a good man before 30 than holding out for everything you want. -Just facts.

For a woman wanting fam, the man´s character, values, loyalty, intelligence, maturity, and laughing together are far more important than sexual attraction. Sexual bond evolves and ebbs and flows between partners. It´s about synergy in what you want to create together that will pull you through things.

If you don´t want marriage and family as a priority, it´s easier and harder in a way. I don´t believe humans thrive without living for something greater than themselves. So if you can be devoted to some service or project, it will help ignite and channel those natural loving instincts and passion that does usually exist and go to nurturing family. You need to have a repetitive "selfless" aspects established in your life, or somehow an existential loneliness creeps in and something rots. It´s imperative to heal, grow, and truly serve. You´re only living for your own entertainment like a chile without being seriously consistent in giving somehow.

Simple stuff like cleaning the park, talking with old people in a care home, mentoring kids or stray animals, healing others...We think of those as service to the world and others, but all those little things are really for yourself as they invite purity to cleanse and wash the soul. It helps even more if you don´t share it much or talk about it. Your ego can´t get involved and steal your grace and mojo.

I don´t think love dies. We either align with it and allow it to flow, or we suffer apart from it. You have to take time and space to heal and know what love and the authentic self wants to create through you. The world automatically shifts from that place in response. Most ppl are still selecting their partners based on compatible wounding...So growth of love and healing can actually challenge the relationship.

I would say if you are deeply self-loving and actualized, another person cannot kill or diminish your love. They share in the fountain with you, or they dry out in their own illness (ill = I lack love). God provisions my spring, and I kick out anyone if they try and piss in there. If your partner cannot or will not grow to the point they inhibit your journey, you let them go. We have free will, and no one is encouraged to suffer by God. Love´s greatest gift is it transmutes and transforms all fears it contacts so that peace and clarity shine through the illusion that compelled us to suffer. Peace and Love :79: :29:
March 23, 2022 at 06:18
(Taurus) Morena_Lu » feelgoodwithuidoido
"What I´m saying is if you insist on having everything "you want," it´s fine. -All good! BUT IF...IF you want a marriage and family and you´re a woman over 30, you need to be practical. Revisit those nice guys who you truly liked but weren´t hot enough to get you excited before. Men who want family are not looking for you after 30. So if you´re super attractive, you´ve got a little more time, but you´re going to miss your window of opportunity faster than you might think."

No one needs to be just practical, people should try to be happy, whatever happiness is for them. Also, we all came here with some mission to accomplish, not just to be part of reproduction chain. If you are enough smart you will know that 30s are actually the best years, what you know in 20s, just look for questions here, typical problems of 20 years old people( they don´t know where is their own head)...You think that they are wise enough to create a family and take care of them? Well, I don´t think so, at least not for 80 percent of them.





"For a woman wanting fam, the man´s character, values, loyalty, intelligence, maturity, and laughing together are far more important than sexual attraction. Sexual bond evolves and ebbs and flows between partners. It´s about synergy in what you want to create together that will pull you through things."



Again, you had very superficial approach to my reply, it is like I said that sexual attraction is everything.. which for sure I didn´t say.
Character is the most important and to have someone that you can really count on, that is why I said it should be good to have a lover and a friend in that significant other.

"The term "love" is subjective and isn´t always the most important factor when creating a family."


We will agree to disagree on this.
March 23, 2022 at 07:00
(Aquarius) Catch-22
Without looking at your chart, it looks like a rational decision and not one of the heart.

It´s like love ads. People want athletic romantic men who loves conversation and travel but eventually fall madly in love with the slim silent type that likes being at home. Brain vs heart.

If you´re deciding to be with this guy based on something you tell yourself this may be ok, it´s your brain speaking. But if you get together, in the end you´ll end up having sex and then it´s the body speaking. These are two totally different languages and things may turn out ok, but check before you jump.
March 23, 2022 at 07:21
(Taurus) Morena_Lu » Catch-22
"Without looking at your chart, it looks like a rational decision and not one of the heart."

It seems like that..
March 23, 2022 at 12:36
(Taurus) feelgoodwithuidoido » Morena_Lu
"No one needs to be just practical, people should try to be happy, whatever happiness is for them. Also, we all came here with some mission to accomplish, not just to be part of reproduction chain. "

-I said IF YOU ARE A WOMAN OVER 30 WHO WANTS A FAMILY, be practical now, or you won´t find a good partner. Morena, you and other people should absolutely deserve and should pursue happiness. Just don´t expect the pursuit of happiness to automatically land you a good husband.

Hedonic treadmill guarantees what makes you happy now always changes and becomes your new normal. Happiness is just another term for comfort zone, and you shouldn´t base your big decisions only on that. That´s maturity.

"If you are enough smart you will know that 30s are actually the best years, what you know in 20s, just look for questions here, typical problems of 20 years old people( they don´t know where is their own head)...You think that they are wise enough to create a family and take care of them? Well, I don´t think so, at least not for 80 percent of them."

-We´re all dumb in retrospect. Biological reality is what says have your kids before 35. You don´t have time left after that until things start getting difficult. If you feel insecure about being capable enough, you need to take a look at who´s having kids out there and realize yours even with you screwing it up are going to be a gift to the world lol. My parents were mixed up children at 23 when they had me. All that extra challenge made me smarter and grow as a person.

"Again, you had very superficial approach to my reply, it is like I said that sexual attraction is everything.. which for sure I didn´t say.
Character is the most important and to have someone that you can really count on, that is why I said it should be good to have a lover and a friend in that significant other."

-I told you to like what you like and do you. But don´t expect it to land you a husband. That´s not like a threat or something. I mean it sincerely. If it sounds off-putting somehow, you´ve probably got some pressure or unresolved issues being triggered. I think where we disagree is that a best friend and lover isn´t also the best choice also for husband or dad too, right? If it always worked like that for people, you´d be married already.

-I wrote a lot about love and service too, and you responded to the parts about sexuality, independence, and superficiality. Honestly, that´s the Feminism 101 that´s destroying and sending women to war against an invisible enemy.

The social engineers needed to destroy family units, get women in the workforce, and make people confused and the sexes divided to get them more controllable and make the state into daddy.

Generations of women in the West were taught that men are enslavers and do not ever submit and you can have it all. It´s just a mantra and religion for women.
Men don´t seek to harm you. Our core is to protect the feminine, and that isn´t disrespect, it´s out of reverence and sacred commitment. Hope women start understanding that.

Peace and Love
March 23, 2022 at 13:08
(Taurus) Morena_Lu » feelgoodwithuidoido

"-I wrote a lot about love and service too, and you responded to the parts about sexuality, independence, and superficiality. Honestly, that´s the Feminism 101 that´s destroying and sending women to war against an invisible enemy."

I didn´t see where you wrote about love there, but I would like you to prove me wrong. I would like to hear what others think on this subject, but maybe this is not interesting subject for others..


Feminism is a range of socio-political movements and ideologies that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes..So, if we are talking about feminism..you are not wrong- I am feminist.I think that woman can be ok by herself, she doesn´t need anyone by her side to feel worthy. If she wants she can marry, if not-she doesn´t need to do that, same for having kids.

"Men who want family are not looking for you after 30. So if you´re super attractive, you´ve got a little more time, but you´re going to miss your window of opportunity faster than you might think."

What to say about this and not be sarcastic...Maybe I should borrow some cat from you, I see that you have them. I hope that one day you will have a daughter and that she will have some proper attitude towards life and her own worth, maybe you will learn something from her..



I am not triggered by your attitude, because I have my own opinion and I know that girls should not have pressure on their back if they are around 30 or more, they should try to love themselves and enjoy life in general. I am against arranged marriages, always was, always will. Yes, I believe in true love, but I don´t expect you to share my opinion at all. You are right from your perspective, your culture is different than mine. I respect marriage of your parents but I would never like that for myself.

I will leave just one example and there are 1000 others..

https://www.theguardian.com/world/…






March 23, 2022 at 14:57
(Taurus) feelgoodwithuidoido » Morena_Lu
Always remained friends with ex- should we try again now that we´re older?
Feminism is a range of socio-political movements and ideologies that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes..So, if we are talking about feminism..you are not wrong- I am feminist.I think that woman can be ok by herself, she doesn´t need anyone by her side to feel worthy. If she wants she can marry, if not-she doesn´t need to do that, same for having kids.

-Didn´t disagree.

"Men who want family are not looking for you after 30. So if you´re super attractive, you´ve got a little more time, but you´re going to miss your window of opportunity faster than you might think."

What to say about this and not be sarcastic...Maybe I should borrow some cat from you, I see that you have them. I hope that one day you will have a daughter and that she will have some proper attitude towards life and her own worth, maybe you will learn something from her..

-I never said your "marriage market value" had anything to do with your inherent value, worth, or loveability as a person. That´s a marketplace of biology, and I was trying to emphasize biological reality doesn´t care what you think or feel.

I am not triggered by your attitude, because I have my own opinion and I know that girls should not have pressure on their back if they are around 30 or more, they should try to love themselves and enjoy life in general. I am against arranged marriages, always was, always will. Yes, I believe in true love, but I don´t expect you to share my opinion at all. You are right from your perspective, your culture is different than mine. I respect marriage of your parents but I would never like that for myself.

I will leave just one example and there are 1000 others..

https://www.theguardian.com/world/…

-Marriage and sitations outside of the Western culture have nothing to do with the feminism in the West. I was always curious how feminists were so concerned with Western false-enslavement while tragedies around women and human rights and modern slavery is a bigger industry now than it has ever been by the numbers in our recorded history. I am not blind or supportive of arrangemed marriages either.

-Don´t assume that because I think western feminist ideals detach women from the reality of biology that I support some kind of oppression of women. You don´t know me. But if we are being sarcastic, I don´t deserve a voice or social commentary because of my gender as a man. I should just get back to the office and get back to creating.
March 23, 2022 at 15:10
(Taurus) Morena_Lu » feelgoodwithuidoido
"That´s a marketplace of biology, and I was trying to emphasize biological reality doesn´t care what you think or feel."


We are all aware of biology, we are all mortal. But, your attitude was like girls around 30 should lower their expectations because they will not have time to have kids. It is like you are saying woman above 30 is not worthy. I can´t support that kind of attitude, also, they can have kids in their 40s, even 50s with modern medicine.

Monica Bellucci had her first kid at 40, second at 45.. I don´t see that she missed something. Still one of the most successful and most beautiful women in the world..

Don´t go to the office, we can talk more. :4: :3:
March 23, 2022 at 16:21
(Taurus) feelgoodwithuidoido » Morena_Lu
Thanks, but I am always at the office ("good" man) lol! :61:

Supermodels with all that money and resources aren´t the best baseline though! :12: :18:
March 23, 2022 at 19:13
(Taurus) feelgoodwithuidoido » Morena_Lu
I also appreciate you for staying engaged, Morena.

I love women over 30. I think many of them are just starting to show their value with regard to self-love, authenticity, and lighting up their souls and understanding who they are.

I work in holistic healing with about 95% women who are in their 40+ age range. You see a lot of dreams deferred and hopes in the rear view. What I think many women never learn is what feminine energy is. There is a sacred energy from the womb chakra. You can attract men at any point in your life, if you learn how to channel and align with that pure energy, because it is absolutely rare and like the flowers of the earth and nectar.

But because of the world today women seem to teach each other to be every thing but that -even though every masculine being responds to it immediately -with reverence and adoration. I have seen it in Indian culture. -So divine in dancing. They seem to have a very pure connection with Lakshmi. It´s not sexual. It´s beyond that and stirs the very core of the masculine.

So I think it´s the last thing I´ll mention here, but the problem with aging isn´t just your biology, it´s that men respond to beauty and youth and the feminine energy...the spark of fertility and life..the Divine Mother...Monica Belluci definitely has natural alignment with it...but as you journey don´t be fooled into becoming another boss-babe or successful in the outer world through conquering.

A lot of men are tired and jaded, Love. We are begging women to use their feminity and soft power and reboot the world.

Women who are single when they´re older...It´s not about being "submissive" it´s that they are acting the opposite and fighting men someplace in their unhealed ubnconscious with the illusion of being chained. We all get hurt through experiences and past relationships. I just want women and men to do the work and heal, and for most women becoming a vessel for the divine and sacred feminine brings them home to that space of wholeness. It´s a healing journey for both sexes but I believe the only condition that prepares two souls for a more divine union.
March 23, 2022 at 19:32
(Virgo) rohini moon » feelgoodwithuidoido
"A lot of men are tired and jaded, Love. We are begging women to use their feminity and soft power and reboot the world."

You might want to take that up with the TPTB that are responsible for* the fracturing of the entire familial structure for the last 40+ years instead of whining about it on AS.
Just sayin´

Also, I think people should place their focus more on what they are doing - rather than worrying about what others are doing. If people contemplated their own life/circumstances as much as they criticized others, the world would be a lot nicer of a place.

Take care/focus on you and yours.

March 23, 2022 at 21:28
(Taurus) feelgoodwithuidoido » rohini moon
That did sound whiny, Rohini. :22: I´m not perfect.

You are beautiful! Don´t beat me up. :47: :32:
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