Extreme frustration in love life - any astrological explanation?

January 26, 2022 at 20:17 (UT/GMT)
(Gemini) Plutonic Rose
Extreme frustration in love life - any astrological explanation?
I don´t really know where to start with this topic, since this is not related to a relationship or person in specific, but my love life in general.
It has been a constant low since forever and whenever it seems to be going up, it´s just another slap in the face after another. I see people left and right get into relationships like it´s a walk in the park while I am struggling badly. I see people obsess over each other and my attention deprived a** just sits there like " When is it my turn? ". When I find a girl I am interested in, I try to talk to her and even if it gets to that point of her actually responding, it ends quickly because the girl is just not interested. Never. Even if they do compliment my looks, my clothing style, my voice, even my personality, whatever it is, it´s always clear that they only say that from a distant point of view and not because they are flirting with me.

I even get girls be extremely rude to me, I even get blocked out of nowhere sometimes. Being ghosted is like my water and oxygen. I am just shocked when someone actually responds. At this point I feel like girls my age have a type and that type is my exact opposite in every aspect, that´s how badly the frustration has got to me. I even question people complimenting at this point. Like if I am as attractive as some people say, then how come it never leads anywhere?

My last relationship was a long distance relationship that held on for almost 2 years and it ended in my ex cheating on me. In fact, my very first ex also cheated on me. As if that is not frustrating enough already, I spent more time getting over my exes than with them. So even my relationships were never... fully outlived. My first relationship was very short and my second one was pretty long compared to the first one, but we only met twice.

I am really trying to keep my hopes up, but with every failed try I am running out of good reasons. I have had a good junk of days in which I genuinely thought that life is just trying to tell me that all this dating stuff is not meant for me, regardless of how badly I actually crave a genuine, love based relationship. I am a confident guy and I believe that at least objectively I should be somewhat attractive to the majority of girls my age, but I have experienced so much rejection since my past relationship (which almost ended 4 years ago) that I am close to losing my mind.

I know that love goes much deeper than looks, I personally think even past personality, much deeper. But the fact that girls are not interested in me the slightest really irritates me. I feel like my fate is fighting against me in this and I wonder if there is something visible in my birth chart that could explain why this happens? Because I am running out of explanations and that frustrates me even more.

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January 26, 2022 at 20:49
(Sagittarius) Sus
I saw your thread and just felt compassionate about you. You seem a very nice guy and maybe that´s your "flaw". Reading your chart, and I´m not an astrologer, so forgive me if I´m wrong, but maybe you are a bit clingy and needy.
Woman need a tough and independent guy. Someone aloof who seems to don´t give a dam.
Now, I wonder how will be within two years. Don´t rush yourself. When you decide you don´t want a relationship so much, it will happen.
Wish you all the luck!
January 26, 2022 at 20:50
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user letafet, who already deleted profile on this website:
İyi akşamlar.

Direkt gözüme çarpan ilk şey ay başakta ve birinci evde oluşu - birkaç sert açı almış. Vereceğim en önemli ve bariz tavsiye kadınlardan istediğin - beklediğin - şeylerde net olman. Uzun zamandır beklentilerini ya oldukça yüksek tutmuş ya da olması gerekenden düşük tutmuşsun. Bunu bir düzene koyup netleştirmen gerek, nasıl bir ilişki / partner istediğini net olarak kararlaştırman gerek. Bu hem enerjisel açıdan etkili olur hem de hayatına giren insanlarla daha iyi etkileşimde olmanı sağlar. Kararsızlığını bırak kısacası.

İkinci bir husus güneş - venüs kavuşumu kadınların seni daha feminen şekilde algılamasına yol açabilir. İlişkilerinde aldığın tavrı değiştirmeye çalış. Karşı tarafın çok üstüne düşüyorsan eğer, bu bir numaralı sorundur. Bir de ikizler - başak konumları konuşmayı çok seviyor, hemen hemen her şekilde her şeyini karşı tarafa anlatan biriysen bunu da törpüle. Bütün bunların bir de özgüven yani var. İlk bahsettiğim konum özgüven eksikliğine müsait, bütün bunları yaşadıkça özgüven daha da düşüyor ve içinden çıkılmaz bir duruma dönüşüyor. İlişkiler hakkında düşünmeye bir süre ara vermeni tavsiye ediyorum.
January 26, 2022 at 20:55
(Scorpio) Kisses » Sus
Yeah I sort of agree with Sus on this one. I think one thing that might work is to not go in with the intention of attracting a woman but to just play it cool. I mean, of course hold a conversation but also do some of the typical cool dude things

Idk if I’m making sense but for example, the guys I’ve noticed who tend to attract the most women aren’t necessarily assholes but they definitely give off vibes that they don’t need the girl if you know what I mean
January 26, 2022 at 21:07
(Sagittarius) Sus » letafet
I didn´t want to talk about the "feminine" thing but you nailed it :2:
I saw that too but I use sidereal chart and moon its in leo. Leo is ruled by sun which in turn its in taurus ruled by venus. Venus is combust. Plus, in sidereal, jupiter rules 5th house (saggitarius) and jupiter is conjunct saturn, romance delay.
Plus, venus square moon...this is a tough one making native feeling very confused about needs and emotions.
I hope when he enters moon dasha things will turn out in his favour.
Need some vedic guys here
January 26, 2022 at 21:18
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Sus
System message: Post has been written by user letafet, who already deleted profile on this website:
I don´t practice vedic, but I think it may be helpful. Jupiter - Saturn conjunction may be interpreted as delayed romance (romance in the later years of life) but also a long-lasting and spiritual relationship. Venus - Moon is also something that escaped my attention, good one!
January 26, 2022 at 21:40
(Capricorn) Jaided
At very first glance when I look at your wheel I see that all of your personal planets are in the 4th quadrant, the upper left. Also called the south eastern horizon. This puts an emphasis on the self, in a world sense. Your outer self and mark on the world. Your 3rd quadrant which represents the relational houses is empty. It´s an area of life that requires more effort. It isn´t something that will naturally come easy for you. It doesn´t mean it won´t happen for you though. It´s on your mind, not really surprising with your sensitive Cancer Mercury and you have a lot of Gemini and Virgo in your chart..lots of thinking energy there. It might be something you are over thinking at times. Usually these things come when we stop thinking about them so much.
January 26, 2022 at 21:51
(Virgo) rohini moon
I think girls in your life must have been strange...

You´re a good looking guy..

You have time, take it slow. :15:
January 26, 2022 at 22:00
(Scorpio) Kisses » rohini moon
He’s double Purva Phalguni lol look how fashionable his coat is in his pic. This reminds me of Claire Nakti’s vid on Venusian men
January 26, 2022 at 22:02
(Scorpio) JessSezItSoftly
Sweetie, you are soooooo young to worry about it too much..

I have to respectfully disagree with sus, in my opinion I don´t think you are too nice or that guys can be too nice...

I personally prefer the nice guy over the aloof one ANY DAY...

And the older everyone gets the less tolerance women have for the aloof guys...

Now, maybe because of your young yet vibrant age most girls may not be as attracted to the nice / good guys but in all honesty those relationships don´t work out smoothly later on anyways. ..

I think you should stand by your nice guy ethics... don´t waist them on immature ladies... One day a woman is going to really be in love with you just the way you are...

Until you find her, you´re young... don´t worry so much about relationships, enjoy dating...
January 27, 2022 at 03:44
(Virgo) LotusStar » JessSezItSoftly
:15: beautifully said and I agree

You do have Saturn aspecting ruler of your 7th and at the top of your chart. This can give delays in relationship and a more serious and even sometimes intimidating vibe to a person. Now you are young so maybe girls your age pick up the vibe and shy away if they are looking for something more lighthearted

You also have Venus and Sun opposite Pluto and Pluto square your ascendant/Moon. You have a lot of depth and it’s not just anyone who is going to match that! The intensity of a Venus and Moon Pluto is not for everybody. You may do best with a more Capricorn type or Plutonian or more down to earth sign who can appreciate what you bring and I know it sucks because ultimately you have a lot of Gemini I am sure you have a very playful and light hearted side to you as well

Also have Venus opposite Chiron so maybe this is part of your lessons unfortunately. Chiron/Venus can struggle to feel lovable and be very hurt in love especially perceived or real rejections that another person could just shrug off and move on.

Remember It only takes 1 connection to change your life forever :) the right one. It’s worth waiting for so don’t give up and also try not to overthink it, leave yourself open to follow your instincts, focus on other things that can increase your happiness and confidence in the meantime
January 27, 2022 at 04:06
(Scorpio) JessSezItSoftly » LotusStar
Thanks Lotus!!

You put it beautifully too!! Very well said... :17:
January 27, 2022 at 04:37
(Gemini) Plutonic Rose » Sus
Something that I just don´t understand is that girls always say that they want nice guys, they like caring guys and all that, but then for some reason still tend to like guys that are... not likeable in my opinion. If they fall in love, they do, but objectively seen I just end up scratching my head all the time like " Why does this guy get any attention? "

But seems like it doesn´t change the fact that girls just like it that way, for whatever reason.
January 27, 2022 at 04:40
(Gemini) Plutonic Rose » letafet
Fazla söyleyecek birşeyim yok, cünkü bunda kendimi görüyorum. Ama ellerine sağlık, güzel yazmışsın.
January 27, 2022 at 04:43
(Gemini) Plutonic Rose » Kisses
I guess I am not a cool dude then. I also don´t think that changing myself for the sake of dating is gonna do me any good. If I started being a tough guy, which I am not, it would be like putting on a mask just so people date me and that I think is just self destructive. I am on the more softspoken and caring side. But yeah, maybe girls just don´t like that. 🥲
January 27, 2022 at 04:49
(Gemini) Plutonic Rose » Jaided
I remember when I was younger my mum was always saying that I was addicted to computer games, but it just turned out that I was never addicted, but my parents restricted it so much to the point that me never being able to play made me look like I am addicted. The moment I was in a position in which I could play whenever I wanted I would play much less because in my mind I knew that there is no reason to rush anything about it.

But when you don´t get anything of something, you kind of cling onto it, especially if it´s something that you truly crave. As you can tell by by the rough breakdown on my past, the amount of " love " I got is close to 0, even in my relationships and my first relationship was when I was 15. It´s been almost 7 years which is a crazy amount for a 21 year old, that´s 1/3 of my life.

But yeah, I noticed that in my life it definitely does not come as easy as for all the other people that get into relationships.
January 27, 2022 at 04:50
(Gemini) Plutonic Rose » rohini moon
I told you already, the girls here in germany don´t like me one bit, I don´t know why, I can´t explain it either.
January 27, 2022 at 04:54
(Gemini) Plutonic Rose » JessSezItSoftly
I am glad to find someone that thinks a nice guy is not a nice guy like that. 🥲

That might be possible and I have also been told before that my chart indicates I might find someone much later in life, but it honestly nags on me how my youth is fading in front of my eyes. I know I am young rn, but as I mentioned in a response above, I started dating almost 7 years ago and that´s 1/3 of my life. For me this time is like forever and it obviously makes me question what´s wrong.

I know that most relationships don´t last that long anyways, but I would be happy if my dating life was at least somewhat active, you know? It would be great if I at least dated people, but that doesn´t seem like an option now, I guess.
January 27, 2022 at 05:02
(Gemini) Plutonic Rose » LotusStar
To be fair I was told I am intimidating. Not just now but the first time was in elementary school. A girl that I wanted to talk to came up to me and said that she wanted to talk to me but ended up hesitating because I look like I think am " too cool " for people. I was very casual in how I dressed and now it´s even darker. I also think sometimes that people might really be almost... scared of me. If they just talked to me and found out that there was no reason for that, that would be great. But that energy would obviously make it hard.

And for a Gemini with so much Gemini energy I do have a depth to me that I barely see in anyone, that´s true. I always say that I am like the full package. You can have me all funny and goofy but also wuite serious and deep. It´s always up to who I talk to and what the situation is about.

And yes, I have always been dealing with heartbreak and I am really bad at handling farewells. People would assume this much gemini in me would make it all so much easier but I just wonder how much more unbearable it would be for me if it wasn´t for all the gemini related energy in me.
January 27, 2022 at 05:16
(Virgo) LotusStar » Plutonic Rose
Yeah no doubt, Saturn on the Mc is the most visible energy is known for appearing intimidating and then having Pluto squaring 1st house Moon also makes that intense emotional nature very visible

I can relate because of having Gemini moon in the 8h it’s really weird how can go from light to dark in all extremes… people can’t really put us in a box or figure out what to make of us. But for me in 8h it’s less visible.

It does help having that Gemini; when you can still find a way to laugh about it and find the humor in a situation makes it easier… one day might look back and laugh at all the disaster experiences and also at the bullets you realize you may have dodged…

January 27, 2022 at 06:19
(Leo) Sunnyshadow
Moon [] pluto probably has something to do with it

January 27, 2022 at 07:22
(Gemini) stigmí
“ My first relationship was very short and my second one was pretty long compared to the first one, but we only met twice.”

I dont know if I understand it good...2 years relationship and you met only twice?

I guess world is changing...but I have still only one advice for you...live more in reality, it will be better for you...
Relationship “online” is weird joke.
January 27, 2022 at 07:46
(Gemini) Plutonic Rose » stigmí
I mentioend it already, I could never properly outlive my past relationships. It wasn´t my choice, there was just no way around it.

And I did meet girls in real life and I can tell you that approaching them online is even better since I just seem very intimidating. But I did meet girls in real life and nothing about what I said changed, so online or in real life, it all leads to the things I wrote about.
January 27, 2022 at 08:35
(Gemini) stigmí » Plutonic Rose
Hmmm...I dont think you look intimidating...i see someone who is looking for his true face...
Maybe under this intimidating face (what is your choise to show world) is more fragile inner space...and thats why...
...intimidate sounds similar as intimate...which one is for you more attractive?
So why you want to show this intimidating mask? Thats question for you...
You have tools how to understand many of your intentions. Dont let plutonic part of you to play only instinctive role.

What about your familly? Pluto chiron in 4th , aspect to moon in first...i guess this is your theme...
Thats contra your other parts of chart...venus sun...

Maybe when you will find yourself, you will find your love...
January 27, 2022 at 09:04
(Taurus) s81
It´s not a coincidence you write this post right when your progressed Ax/Vx axis reached exactly your natal Asc/Dsc axis at 3°46 Virgo/Piscis. It seems you have your natal birth time right.

Btw, your nickname resembles this aspects of your chart:

- Almost all of your personal planets are in close touch with Pluto: square to the Moon, opposition to your conjunction Sun-Venus and inconjunction to your Mercury. Pluto purifies what it touches.
- Mercury and Moon in mutual reception and in sextile, very poetic and sentimental, and with empathy (that means you´ve certain ability to understand others).

I wonder how much this things are related to what you wrote.

About your love life I guess you are interested in both variants: 7th house (partners) and 5th house (lovers, from where a potential love partner can appear).

Starting with your 7th house in Piscis, the Neptune role has a critical role ruling it and also being in conjunction with your natal Vertex. Neptune dissolves what it touches. It´s very idyllic and spiritual, usually dreaming paradises that do not exist. So may be (or not) your frustration comes from there. With Neptune is always the same: feet on the ground or you´ll end up drown, rants off or you´ll become toxic, etc.

In case of your 5th house in Capricorn, it´s ruler Saturn is in your 9th house and also conjunct to your natal Jupiter, so you will be more "lucky" (if that word applies to an activity where attitude is critical) with foreign girls, university girls, etc (apply any other meaning of the 9th house). Also in those meanings of the house where your natal Venus (women) is, in your case 10th house.
Btw, watch out about your natal Lilith, it seems to be in this 5th house (at least the Mean one is there). Where Lilith is located is where we get less humans, and where we treat others in our worst possible ways. An uncontrolled Lilith in 5th house in a man´s chart can turn off any playful women for sure.

It will be interesting for you to monitor what happens when your progressed Jupiter (co-ruler of your Descendant, currently at the anaretic 29 Taurus and still conjunct to the dreamy transiting North Node) enters Gemini (same sign where your natal Venus is located) in a few months (mid May). Also by that time your progressed Moon will be in trine with your natal Uranus and your natal Moon will be receiving sextiles from your progressed Sun, Venus and Mars.
Nobody is responsible for his/her natal chart but everybody is responsible of what they do with it, so if you change your attitude towards a more positive one, by that time you might get better results I guess. At least those progressions look promising.
January 27, 2022 at 13:34
(Leo) Zephyrin
Aynı yaştayız ve az buçuk anlıyorum bu durumu, insan gerçekten hayret ediyor. İyi kız istediğini iddia eden erkekler gibi iyi erkek istediğini iddia eden kadınlar da bunun tam tersini yapıyorlar.

Haritanıza baktığımda ilk dikkatimi çeken 5. ev oldu. 5. ev Lilith´in Oğlaktaki konumu partnerlerden buz gibi bir soğukluk getirebilir, bu partnerler alımlı fakat arızalı, aşkı küçümseyen ve ilişkilere alacak verecek gözüyle bakan kişiler olabilir. Oğlak-Yengeç aksındaki Lilith ve Merkür´ün karşıtlığı partnerlere karşı aşırı hassasiyet ve hakkınızda dedikodular getirebilir.

Neptün´ün kayıplarla bir bağlantısı vardır. Vertex´le Neptün´ün Kovada, 5. evde kavuşması ilişkilerde bağımsızlık kazanmayı, partnerle araya sınır çizmeyi öğrenmektir yahut karşı cins olmadan da, ilişki kurmadan da kendi kendine yetebilmektir. Sen ilişki sorunlarının üzerine gittikçe hayal kırıklığına uğramana şaşırmamalı.

Öyle ya da böyle Venüs´ün Chiron ve Plüton ile karşıtlığı kadınlardan yara getirir, onlar yüzünden güç kaybetmekle alakalıdır, buna anne de dahil olabilir. Chiron retro ve 4. evde; geçmiş yaşamından gelen, sevilmeye, değer görmeye olan özlem. İç huzuruna, keyfine, ruh sağlığına, seni seven ve en önemlisi senin için uğraşan insanlara -illa aşk olması gerekmez- odaklanmak, yapmaktan zevk aldığın işleri yapıp ilişki kısmını oluruna bırakmak Plüton´un dönüştürücü gücü sayesinde seni şifalandırabilir.
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