Depressed partner ,end of a relationship - Discussions, questions

Northerneuropean I understand why he chose you. Saturn on his ASC says it all.

Another thing - with your Neptune, you could really lift his saturnic personality to heaven at times or bring it down to h***.

takita » Northerneuropean I did everything for him, we lived together in another city for a year to make him feel safe because I believe in him and in his abilities. But it often falls into bouts of depression and pulls me away!
I believe his behavior depends on his childhood!
I can´t stand these mood swings anymore I don´t think there can be more future even if he is the most important person to me

Trevor77 » takita Yea, an unfortunate childhood does stem into adulthood,

And I didn´t know that a depressed partner can really offset the relationship.I need to watch out for that one myself, as I sometimes get depressed but nothing major, a partner normally helps ease the depression

Notice you both have Mercury square Mercury, making the talk difficult, and mental tension etc

goldenlion32 Jupiter in Aquarius and Uranus in Aquarius is naturally going to be 100% freedom, erratic, and unconventional. I would assume with Saturn in Aquarius it brings some restrictions to the situation as you are doing with the square to Uranus in Taurus and there’s the South Node Taurus.
Then of course you have the Reverse Nodal Return coming up here by the end of the year, where it’s a passage of rights of some sort.
Your both Sagittarius Pluto as well, and kind of young yet and just learning about relationships.
Jupiter in Sagittarius and Venus in Sagittarius is the husband and wife, and of course you have the eclipses, and you are breaking up in a bunch of Retrogrades bringing up the past issues to be resolved.
Then you have the last two eclipses in November on the South Node Taurus there and the other on your Venus in Sagittarius and Jupiter in Sagittarius with last eclipse.
I would see how it goes, because you might be meant to resolve some issues here and the next few months and decide what the best course of action is and nothing wrong with being honest and truthful since you are Sagittarius there and what it’s all about.
Maybe figure out what needs to be solved, changed, and both adapt, adjust, and do what needs to happen to make your relationship go in the right direction.

goldenlion32 » takita do you both go to a psychologist together and work on the issues, or have a support group?

takita » goldenlion32 Last year I had a lot of troubles in my family which led me to have anxiety problems so i went to a psychologist.
I have advised him several times to go through a therapy but he doesn´t want to because he already did in the past and nothing changed.
I think he pushes me away because I tell him a truth that hurts him! and his way to ´´ deal ´´ with problems is to get distracted and not think about them but this is not the solution!

boyakasha the guru That moon lilith north node conjunction says alot, emotionally hyper and uncomfortable with them (North node placement is what you´ll have trouble with in this life and are to learn it) are you emotionally abusive towards him because lilith is very controlling.


The north node moon synastry must make it feel like its fated. Moon gets attached here.



Your Jupiter expands his venus, hence he desires to love you.


Mars Square pluto synastry, power struggles not wanting to listen even violence.

Your chiron is very close to your sun, wounded personality, low self worth and sad most times must be the cause of depression. Ohhhh your sun-chiron lie near to his IC, makes him want to take care of you make you feel like home or even start a family.

He feels motherly towards you.


Your venus conjunct Mars in sagittarius gives you a high sex drive but his moon squares both so he might push you away at times when you´re in mood, you might take it as a rejection.


You have Saturn on Ascendant, you see the relationship as a responsibility and take it seriously. With Aries you could get angry at him at times and too dominating.


Your moon-lilith conjuncts his chiron, he feels hurt alot which makes him closed off when you get emotional and want to help him but you as moon person feels it out and give him healing energy but the lilith there might make you act on it very strongly. Also makes you very protective over him because lilith, you might break some rules or go a taboo route for him.


Your moon trines his neptune, you feel a telepathic connection with him. Shows deep understanding, both might be interested in arts together.

Ways_of_Leavin' I second what most of boyakasha wrote. Definitely agree that Mars square Pluto usually signifies power struggles. Not only does his Mars square your Pluto; his Saturn forms a wide square to it as well. Magi astrology calls this the schism aspect. Well they are very dramatic in their interpretations. But I do see it almost impossible that you two will *not* be in power struggles of some sort. As mentioned, this could be as simple as not wanting to listen. And I bet with your Pluto in H8, being a Scorpio and all, you are someone who do like having control.

I think, on some issues, you will just have to agree to disagree.

Does the aspect grid list Chiron conjunct NN ? It seems the orb is around 3°. I suppose I would count it in. I remember reading somewhere, that when someone´s Chiron aspects the other person´s NN, the Chiron person will bring the NN pain.

Don´t be too put of though... A lot of interpretations are quite dramatic, and I also believe relationships involving so-called ´hard´ aspects also tend to point to something more transformational and long-lasting (well, provided the two persons share basic computability and have some good aspects to balance it out). Just yes, those specific aspects I see as quite challenging.

I do believe in that you have put a lot of effort and patience into this... With Scorpio Sun Virgo Moon I think it will make someone very devotional when they love someone. Astrology aside, I understand that it must be tiring and hard for you...

For any relationship, I say - always look also at the Draconic synastry, as well as the Composite chart (midpoint) and Davison uncorrected one. Very important also to note what aspects your natal planets makes to the composite chart planets/angles.

ETA: Also better add asteroids, such as Eros, Psyche, Juno... While some see them someone like the icing of the cake, which I also do to some extent, I have found that for example the Eros-Psyche conjunction can be extremely significant ! I´m not sure whether I agree with Magi astrology or not, but to them Juno and Chiron are very important players (and actually this I am agreeing to, at least with Chiron).

nikkia I´m sorry for your current heartache. I´m sure you and he love each other very much. I also had a Cap Sun in my life who was prone to periodic down times/ complete withdrawal/ silence.

This was part of his nature. Although he was a One Man Party most of the time, this takes a lot of energy to maintain - and every one needs to time recharge. At first, it was jarring to see to him so low. I didn´t know what the heck was going on with him. Luckily, he was not despondent (he never let his life go to shit!) but he was not the open, loving man I knew.

I learned not take his ´quiet time´ personally.
I accepted this and let him be.

Overtime, we developed this little signal: I´d ask what he needed. If he needed togetherness, he´s pat his chest by his left shoulder - that meant he wanted my head there, so he could hold me close. I´d stay quietly with him.
If he squinted his eyes that meant LEAVE ME ALONE! No problem. I went and did my own thing. He was grown ass man. He´d live.

He needed the freedom of time to spend with himself - in himself.

Not having to worry about me and my feelings allowed him to process whatever he needed to feel - and this sped up his return to ´normal´.

I called it ´being in his cave.´ We began to make Tarzan and Jane jokes about it. Then this joke evolved into writing notes left on doors for the other to read. "Jane at movie. Spaghetti in fridge"
Sometimes, I´d get a note back, "Tarzan say yum"
That´s how it worked for us. It wasn´t personal. It just was.

Of course, every couple is different.
And severe mental health issues are nothing to be trifled with...

Anyway, I´m not sure if any of this helps... but please know that I wish you both the very best.

Northerneuropean » takita If he is clinnicaly depressed, he is other person without that depression curtain.