Synastry: You´re doing it wrong.

February 18, 2021 at 22:41 (UT/GMT)
(Scorpio) ancient_astrology
Synastry: You´re doing it wrong.
I see some of the so-called synastry being done on Astro-seek and it is either wrong or incomplete. The first problem is that most people want to start with the combined synastry charts. Not a good idea.

The first thing you want to look at is each person´s separate charts. We want to look at the Descendant to see what a person is looking for in a partner. We want to also look at the planets in the 7th house, the houses they rule, and the ruler of the DSC. We want to look at Venus to see HOW this person expresses their love. We want to look at the Moon Sun aspect for ease or stress one happens to have in relationships.

For men we use the luminaries: Moon, for women the Sun (sexual orientation doesn´t matter, however, if you are say, non-binary, you will want to use your biological sex to determine this). We look at the aspects to the luminary to determine what kind of relationships this person is likely to find themselves in.

That is just a bit of what we look for in the birth chart. We see THIS PERSON, what they want, what they give, how they relate, etc. We look at both charts separately.

NOW, we can move on to the synastry chart. We are looking at three broad categories:

1) Duration: do the two people have the POTENTIAL for a long relationship with each other (doesn´t mean they will have a long relationship...means a tendancy towards). For this we look at various combinations between Ascendants, Descendants, Ruler of Ascendant and Ruler of Descendant. The more connections, the more likely that it could be a long relationship

2) We look for attraction. This is romantic and sexual. This is what most people use for synastry and it is bad to limit the synastry chart to this. Of course, we are using combinations of Mars and Venus.

3) We want to look for friendship significators, even if this is a romantic relationship. We look for certain combinations between Sun, Moon, Ascendant, Part of Fortune and MC. We will also want to look at communication habits by looking at various aspects between Moon and Moon, and Moon and Mercury and Mercury and Mercury. This will show if communication is easy or if our habits are compatible. For example, if you wake up early and your partner wakes up late, this could be a real problem in the relationship, as petty as it might seem. We will want to look at aspects between Jupiter in one chart and planets in the other, especially aspects between the two Jupiters. For difficulties, we definitely want to look at Saturn and Mars difficult aspects to other planets. We especially need to look at any difficult aspects between Mars and Moon.

I hope this will help put you on the right track in terms of your synastry readings. And remember, you can work on all of this stuff if you want to. On the other hand there can be lots of good connections, but one or two bad ones can sink the ship.

Any questions? Good luck!

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February 18, 2021 at 23:42
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32
Seems what I already learned before. Nice review.
February 19, 2021 at 16:35
(Scorpio) ancient_astrology
Difficult to believe I post on synastry, offering advice and almost nobody replies! I don´t come here often, but this place must have really changed since when I used to post here.
February 19, 2021 at 17:07
(Aquarius) nikkia
Great information here. I always read your work. Your writing is delight to read, no matter the subject.

I´m not advanced enough for synastry, but it´s great to know this primer is here for future reference.

Thank you, Ancient !
February 19, 2021 at 17:12
(Libra) leorising » ancient_astrology
the problem is the pandemic in the last year, it is more difficult to break the heart :80: with social isolation :80:
February 19, 2021 at 17:40
(Taurus) nutelina » ancient_astrology
It did change Ancient-Wan, you are now our only hope.

But I can see the houses in the synastry here so I´m a little confused but thanks for the points for now.

Thanks to you we will be perfect at it in 20 years and then we´ll surely find the perfect synastry!

So how do you tell if someone gets up early or late? That´s a real good example which I have no clue of where to look for. I know Mars square Neptune or Neptune in 6th house could be laziness... :2:
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February 19, 2021 at 18:27
(Capricorn) Luna Alba
Very informative topic.

I´m following your threads :1:.

And since you´re here:.

I had a crazy infatuation for this guy in 2018. It felt out of this world, I didn´t understand what struck me. A crazy infatuation, not love. It burnt quickly.….

I dunno his birth hour, nor do I can make assumptions.

It was instant, crazy infatuation.

I was trying to explain it, now that ai´m finally almost detached about the whole story...Was it because I´m a Cap Stellium and he has many planets in Aries?. a lot of squares in sinastry that made the attraction...squares account for physical attraction...but it was so big that it was impossible to last, I think. And there were no other significant supportive aspects and we have very different individual very different personalities, I think.

Also, Aries Moon-Venus - most probably looking for the Aries type of woman - bossy, demanding, confortable in initiating...and a friend told me about him that he likes women with initiative. also a flirty nature, as Jupiter is also part of the Stellium and expands....Pisces gives that elusive, sneaky nature too.

As oppossed to a Cap Stellium, who is more on the serious side, not the cheerful Aries.

So I guess our separate charts show how different we were and there was no future in it - which actually was the real scenario - but the sinastry or those squares are accountable for the crazy infatuation.

A visceral attraction from both sides.

In 2020, I found myself another Pisces...but with Capricorn Moon and Venus. Probably a more suitable love language this time :1:
February 19, 2021 at 18:42
(Aquarius) nikkia » nutelina
"So how do you tell if someone gets up early or late?"

I´d try looking at the 12 and first houses. 12 is our sleep and 1 is our waking.
February 19, 2021 at 18:43
(Scorpio) ancient_astrology » nutelina
I didn´t mean specifically that I can tell whether someone gets up early or late. That was an example. Difficult aspects between the two moons usually means that there will be problems in adjusting to each other habits. AN EXAMPLE of difficulty in adjust to each other habits MIGHT BE one gets up early, the other one late or the one eats vegetarian and the other one eats meat. Those are just examples. The point is that there will be differences in daily habits that might be challenges.
February 19, 2021 at 18:45
(Scorpio) ancient_astrology » leorising
LOL, but you can also check synastry for past lovers or even friends or even family members or even co-workers.
February 19, 2021 at 18:47
(Taurus) nutelina » nikkia
Well I can say for myself I like my mornings with the newspaper and starting slowly. It is exciting to wake up early occasionally to travel somewhere.

I usually encounter a lot of people in my dreams, Gemini 12th house talking. When I wake up I usually want people to leave me the f. alone for at least an hour after I wake up. It seems selfish but I like my mornings for myself and only inner circle is allowed. My mornings are intimate.
February 19, 2021 at 18:50
(Aquarius) nikkia
"LOL, but you can also check synastry for past lovers or even friends or even family members or even co-workers."

Not without birth times. I can get a very general idea, but not a true picture.

If there is a way to get around this, please share.
February 19, 2021 at 18:51
(Libra) leorising » nikkia
I already read that Saturn in partner´s house 12 would give this situation of disagreement in the hours of waking and sleeping.
February 19, 2021 at 18:57
(Taurus) nutelina » ancient_astrology
I knew it! You fraudster, always great copy. Loved the title! And then of course, too good to be true! Like the poster! You´ll want to wait forever!

Nah I´m kidding :3: I´m glad to read a new post of you! Good old times - please come back.

Good example, I like it. I would say the majority of women seems to not eat meat these days which makes me feel extra conservative. Probably my Moon trine Saturn.

I´ve noted that good aspects between moon, asc, venus and sun makes up for a lot. The harder aspects are of course Pluto and Mars, or Moon Pluto but those should be avoided if one doesn´t want to have a relationship just for that purpouse.

I can say if you read what is written here you are 90% there. It´s very good. But as you said, read the birth chart! Also note the North Node. If it is opposite in synastry it can be an indicator of caution. On the other hand some have NN in the Sun sign of the other, this is very good I think. Not very familar to other aspects like rising, moon... Could be harmonious I think,
February 19, 2021 at 18:59
(Taurus) nutelina » nikkia
Thanks Nikkia and interesting approach to say the least, I replied before but got an error.

I wrote something in that I like to have time for myself in the morning, so late mornings, I was born 11:25 and I like to have that time to wake up and get going easily.

I also joked I meet a lot of people in my dreams instead of in real life so busy 12th house chatter in Gemini.
February 19, 2021 at 18:59
(Scorpio) ancient_astrology » Luna Alba
His Venus in Aries in very tight square with your Mars and Venus would equal visceral attraction. That´s pretty much all we can say about Mars and Venus connections is visceral\romantic attraction. Not if there is duration or if you really LIKE each other. Without his house system it is hard to talk about duration, but you´ve already told me that it didn´t last long.

Do you want me to do a full synastry between you and this guy or is there someone new whom you are in relation with? There will be limitiations in reading the chart without house but it is still partially possible. Let me know.
February 19, 2021 at 19:11
(Capricorn) Luna Alba » ancient_astrology
Ohh, ty :3:. The very Aries Pisces is in the past...

"His Venus in Aries in very tight square with your Mars and Venus would equal visceral attraction".

I guess technically it was more on my part, since it´s about my Mars/Venus and his sort of male/female principles inverted?.

Anyway, for me it was a case study, as it was so crazy and instant.

But now I´m dating this guy, and I would be more interested about him. He thinks - he is not sure - that this is the birth hour; in my view, some 12th house placements would make sense in his case. He is a very reserved nature, has some insecurities, but a very gentle soul.…
February 19, 2021 at 19:17
(Aquarius) nikkia » nutelina
It´s good to know your habits. Catching up on what you missed while sleeping... very Gemini.

When I was a kid, I needed lots of time to come alive, like you do now
(very Saturn, I suppose) but I simply wasn´t getting enough sleep.
I fell asleep too late, awoke too early. My life didn´t match my natural clock.

Then, in my 20s, I only need 22 minutes (Exactly!)before I wanted to talk to anyone and get my day going.

Most of my life, I spontaneously prayed (in my head) upon waking
(Sag, most likely)

I like peace in the morning, too - nothing worse than waking to a circus.
I pretty much hit the ground running now. Awake, alert and clear.

Morning has also been the BEST time for me to learn math, science, and free-form writing comes very easily, does being romantic. :2:
February 19, 2021 at 19:20
(Scorpio) ancient_astrology » Luna Alba
Ok, I will use his chart and hope that the time is right.
February 19, 2021 at 19:27
(Taurus) nutelina » nikkia
That´s cool, having a good morning ritual or evening ritual is very helpful. I always needed to either go slow or better go outside running, in the morning or do some sport, see a beautiful sunrise or view before I go sit in the office all day.

I´m somewhat glad we can work from home because now I wish to live in nature. It will probably wake me up sooner since living in the city makes your nights noisy and uncomfortable.

My dad used to wake up earliest and wake me up. I think like a hunter man, it is important to go somewhere and meet people but my Cancer rising loves to spend time with family.

Talking about being romantic, I wonder if it is also dependent on the evening / morning person. I used to have evening types partners, that was not a good match.
February 19, 2021 at 19:45
(Aquarius) nikkia » leorising
Interesting about Saturn, right?

Sleep/wake habits make and break relationships - unless you both live apart or agree to have separate bedrooms and/ or agreed upon schedules.
Even then, it´s a strain.

SNORING is another huge issue for couples.

My ex made me cry from lack of peace, sleep, rest. I actually began to resent him, deeply. I dreaded going on vacation with him, too. One night I tried to sleep in the hotel bathtub - his snoring was that bad. Many nights, I didn´t sleep at all. Lack of sleep was making me physically ill.

I tried EVERYTHING (except murder!) to have him remedy this affliction.
No luck.

I spent a small fortune on an adjustable king-size bed, hoping it would help. I still ended up on the couch with a pillow pressed to my ears.
I left him.
He couldn´t believe I took the bed that I paid for with me. Really?
I sleep great now. Never again. Deal-breaker.
February 19, 2021 at 20:55
(Scorpio) ancient_astrology » nikkia
That´s a good example!!!! Exactly right. You can love a person. Get along well with them, but there can be little things like this that make it miserable.
February 19, 2021 at 22:06
(Aquarius) nikkia » ancient_astrology
"Those little things - there´s nothing bigger" (Vanilla Sky Quote)
February 19, 2021 at 22:57
(Libra) leorising » nikkia
I wonder how you suffered!
I have a deviated septum and when I travel I find out from other people´s comments that I snore. lol. :61:
my sleep is heavy, i sleep at the same time every day, i think if i slept with someone who snores too i wouldn´t even feel it. :7:
February 20, 2021 at 00:20
(Aquarius) nikkia » leorising
Want his phone number? You´d make a great pair !!! :3:
February 20, 2021 at 03:20
(Aquarius) NettyJay
Thank you for providing this information. Especially so that I have discovered that our birth charts can predict the timing for when you are most likely to meet your soul mate (which for me is at this present time).

Would you be able to confirm for me if this following information I have found is correct?

I read/learnt that for a woman you need to look at when your Jupiter Returns and for men you need to look for when your Venus returns.

Is there any other indicators that you can point me in the direction of as I am preparing to investigate this area with a person I have recently met. Again so your information provided above has come at a good time for me! Thank you so much for sharing! :75:
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