What is up with this relationship?

June 5, 2019 at 21:25 (UT/GMT)
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme
What is up with this relationship?
The synastry chart posted includes me as the 1st person and a man I was seeing for a few months as the 2nd person. Long story short, it was an extramarital affair for both of us, which ended when one of our spouses found out. He and I were seeking a friends with benefits situation, but we (supposedly) both fell very hard for each other and both almost left our marriages to be with each other. After the affair came to light, he and I are both trying to heal our respective marriages and have made headway with our spouses

Post-breakup, he has oscillated between cold and hateful to warm and apologetic during the very few times we´ve been in contact via email/messaging. I am starting to wonder if his sincerity while we were together was legitimate, and if it was, why he is largely acting more on the cold and hateful side of the spectrum towards me. I am also having a hard time trying not to think about him. I am committed to my husband and our marriage and WILL NOT be using feedback received to legitimize my exit from the marriage - I´m hoping that the feedback may help me understand some of the astrological drivers behind what is going on and aid me in finding some peace.

Are there any clues on this chart that point to legitimacy (or lack thereof) of feelings in our relationship? Also trying to determine if there is any clue to whether this would be a long term or short term relationship. I can´t shake the sense that he and I may end up together years in the future, but I could just be delusional.

What does his loaded, retrograde 7th house mean for him?

Also curious as to what my Pholus conjunct his Moon may mean.

Any insight shared would be immensely appreciated!
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June 7, 2019 at 20:04
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » goldenlion32
System message: Post has been written by user Vanille, who already deleted profile on this website:
I literally have so much to say but I don´t wanna drag this on further, as I´m in a good place mentally and that might just ruin it. You´re always free to private message me if you like to know anything about my views and why I have them. I can´t promise to reply quickly as I´m busy and sometimes too tired for certain topics (explaining things carefully, bringing up examples that contain trauma etc costs energy)
June 6, 2019 at 22:13
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user Snm Str, who already deleted profile on this website:
I will answer you astrologically, As far as I see, you have Mars Capricorn in your 7th house and in transit is conjunct with Pluto and Saturn right now. deeply triggers your fears about relationships and makes you lose your self-esteem. I advise you to check your eclipses in July and get the advice you need. Most important of all, you should confront yourself by speaking aloud, not with others.
June 6, 2019 at 21:50
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » goldenlion32
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
Goodnight dear and i hope your pain goes away in due time. :83:
June 6, 2019 at 21:44
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » Liquidized.Mind.LM3992
I agree. I believe everyone learned something from the situation. I do have to go to bed. And I still have a severe headache from yesterday. Already took ibuprofen. Hope you all have a good night.
June 6, 2019 at 21:39
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » goldenlion32
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
I think everyone here is well meaning, however we all express differently, have different levels of understanding and different experiences.

I appreciate everyone for not going too mental, the name calling was uncalled for on both sides, however i did state i did not find Vanille´s comment that harsh, when truth is with it,only to those who cannot handle it react stubbornly.

If the desired outcome is the best for this woman and her husband and future child, then we can all agree, this was successful, let´s try to be reasonable.

June 6, 2019 at 21:32
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » Vanille
Best thing I an recommend for you is to hang our in a lot of relationship groups or forums and start listening to all the stories. Story after story. I used to have that same point of view.
June 6, 2019 at 21:30
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » Vanille
I think when you´re someone like me as a professional it´s not the same thing as being an average person. The idea of a healer, astrologer, therapist in the conventional or unconventional way is to to learn about all social groups, social belief systems, theories, concepts, ideas, and what is abnormal and normal behavior in a cultural community.

While in my personal experience I may be with a single partner, and have my personal beliefs, I understand that other people are not on my journey, and I can not expect them to process information the same way, act the same way, emote the same way, think the same way.

I´m totally aware of depression, anxiety, grief, post traumatic stress.

And this is where I got into astrology, because it shows, that no matter what culture we come from, family, society, the belief systems are based off what that culture teaches on the macro or micro level, or the family.

Emotional pain and mental pain is created by words, actions, and thoughts. So when you have mental disorders for example or developmentally disabled, they´re cognitive functions and emotional impairments may not be adequate enough to make certain responsible choices.

You have low functioning people who are developmentally disabled, mental impairments, and suicide is the lowest point to be. Usually someone is in severe emotional and mental pain from sexual abuse, physical, emotional, mental, abuse.

And this all comes down to coping skills, life skills, and conditioning of family for the first part. And than you also have the three water signs in their charts that make them quite sensitive in three different ways.

With Aries in Chiron in my chart I have been through more than what you can see in my natal chart. And with the Uranus in Cancer, Leo Pluto Generation. Not one time events, but multiple times.

So I understand my job the last ten years was making sure I became an authority on the mental and emotional process from neurology, emotions, mental, spiritual, physical, and sexual. That is a lot of hard work understanding the multiple dimensional perspective of what happens to the feminine and masculine when they´re place in a situation like this.

The sexual wound is the deepest wound there is and it is why there are dead bedrooms, because the masculine and feminine have been wounded so many times by other masculine and feminine.

There´s a whole list of medical and mental health reason why this happens in relationships.

Domestic Violence and Child Abuse is huge right now. But this is where Capricorn (Patriarchy) comes in with rules, regulations, restrictions, policies, and procedures. This is where Virgo comes in and becomes judgmental, harsh, strict.

These two will be strangling you to death emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, and sexually if you allow them too. There´s a feeling of suffocation, being smothered, trapped, controlled, dominated, and this is where we´re out of balance in lower consciousness in relationships.

This is where you find some people becoming masochists, and sadomasochists, because of the suppression, oppression, control dominance versus submission, and where in the past our generation really learned this was not good to be so harsh, strict, oppressive, and take the life right out of another person because they are different than the rest of the group.

Whether it´s a prisoner on death row, the scariest villain in the world, just like a physician when they come into the hospital, your first place is to treat them regardless of your thoughts, emotions, feelings, or beliefs.

While their might be someone dying on the table how killed your brother, you still have to be bigger than yourself to do what needs to be done.

Doctor´s take an oath.

It is commonly believed that the principle: “First, do no harm!”[1] originated with the physician’s oath and is circumscript with the practice of medicine. It did not and it is not.[2] As a moral principle, refraining from doing harm is both much more fundamental and much more universal than that. It forms the very foundation of the moral teachings of the founders of at least two of the world’s major religions[3] and was so central to the life and teachings of Socrates that he literally chose to die rather than transgress it.[4] Fully understanding, appreciating and following this principle is, I believe, key to following a life which is at once, fully human, fully alive, and fully virtuous.


I´m a former Nurse Aide, it´s never been my job a medical or mental health professional in the conventional or unconventional way to choose who I help because of the way I think, feel, emote, or believe.

It´s my job to be on the front lines and do my job to save people from emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, sexual, or financial death.

Is that job easy in a world like ours? No it´s not. It is far more complex than the average person understands. You can not be a true healer and make everyone happy, for human nature would kill everyone if it was left up to them every time someone did something wrong, made a mistake, used bad judgment, and you already can see like in a Missing Person Case the public will just rip apart who they believe is to blame. I helped a woman who lost her husband in 2014. Everyone said she killed her husband and that was why he was missing. I got attacked for defending her.

A year later he was found in the woods and he had a heart attack and was out wandering around and drinking beer as they caught on video. By himself.

So the autopsy proved this, and so all those people who attacked her never once apologized.

It´s easy to jump to conclusions, assume, project what you believe someone is experiencing.

Human beings are vultures and I´ve seen a few different missing person cases to understand how people just really tear into others without facts, evidence, and just assume and believe they´re right.

I believe there is a higher source above me, and who am I to judge anyone. And this is a tough lesson to learn especially when you are Virgo Pluto. And took me ten years to master that.

I don´t have the right to allow someone to die because they are a criminal, murderer, drug dealer, or whatever. Sure I might not like them, I might not like what they did, but if I´m placed in a position like I was in an Internship for school, It was my job to help them whether I liked it or not.

I have two friends shot and one missing and may have been killed by a serial killer. I am not going to let that man win or the other two thugs and steal my joy in life because they were violent. It´s more motivation for me to teach non-violence. People don´t heal with with violence. Affairs don´t stop with violence. If that was the case Domestic Violence would be legal and no one would care if they shot and killed their wives or husbands for having affairs. It would be legal for step parents to kill their step-children, and it would be alright just to eliminate every couple on earth because they lied, cheated, deceived one another.

You can´t solve problems with violence. Sure you can eliminate the problem with Mars and Pluto, but it doesn´t ever solve the problem or ever get to the root of the problem.
June 6, 2019 at 21:09
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme » Vanille
Vanille, I´ve tried "talking out" the issues with my husband, repeatedly, for 17 years, only to be simply shut down with his responses of, essentially, it´s all my fault and not any of his. I reached my breaking point last fall and begged for a divorce. For the first time, ever, he acknowledged the pain he caused me over the duration of our marriage. I didn´t believe him given past history, and made I a horrendous decision as a result. Please don´t assume I didn´t try to work on the marriage or didn´t try to end the marriage prior to the affair.

Until the affair happened, I never would have thought myself capable of one. My friends and family that have found out have been shocked because of how atypical that type of behavior is for me. They all know me to be fiercely loyal to the people I care about. My husband actually stated that he realizes I truly must have been in deep, unfathomable despair and desperation because I had the affair in the first place.

If you are familiar with Anne Rice and her Vampire Chronicles, there is a poem at the beginning of one of the chapters called "The Wounded Rabbit". He told me about that poem while we were dating, and he said, even then, that I am the wounded rabbit, running in fear, fear that stems from my not very fun childhood (which included emotional, physical, and sexual abuse from an alcoholic father). So yes, I have issues. That does not condone what I did, and I take responsibility for my actions.

YES, I AM A WHORE FOR CHEATING ON MY HUSBAND. But I was also not my true self. I am trying to use what happened as a tool to finally heal myself and, by extension, my marriage.
June 6, 2019 at 21:08
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » goldenlion32
System message: Post has been written by user Vanille, who already deleted profile on this website:
"Usually this is what most people do Vanille. Every women and man on the earth is traumatized in some way by relationships. They become emotionally numb, abused sometimes emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, sexually, and financially"

Most people don´t cheat on their romantic partner... No matter how hurt they are, cheating IS a form of abuse.
June 6, 2019 at 20:44
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » VunderFemme
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
Anyone who cheats does not love their partner, and will do it again if they can get away with it, regardless of how fixed they think they are.

Astrologers are real humans too much like you, we are not some special selected breed hailed from the Gods.

I wish you all the best with your new born baby, and hopefully in 6 months time things will have been cleared, i tell you now, the real person who will live the aftermath is not you or your husband, it will be your child, how that aftermath flowers depends on what you both do.

I may sound harsher than you think, i have strong instincts and i will voice them, i am not always correct, but i voice it.

As stated, all the best.
June 6, 2019 at 20:43
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » goldenlion32
System message: Post has been written by user Vanille, who already deleted profile on this website:
I never got sex ed at all other than "you go to hell if you do it" you have a very biased view of our country... You live in a big city I suppose... I grew up among conservative Christians, so as you can imagine, growing up in the closet was anything but easy for me... I was neither brainwashed by the conservatives, nor rebelled against it. I have my own brain thank you very much, a smart one with a strong intuition. I don´t need a "holy" book to tell me right from wrong, I just know ^^

Open relationships are a thing, polygamy is a thing, but those people aren´t in love... As I´ve seen people like that on tv, internet and a few irl, all they seemed to care about was sex and at least one partner seemed uneasy... You can´t compare that with 2 people who are deeply in love (sometimes just one, the other either lost feelings or never really loved the other person, that´s where it gets toxic and it´s time to end it) all people I know irl with healthy long-term marriages, are disgusted by the idea of threesomes or polygamy.

Also, this user isn´t in an open, sexual relationship, she´s married, and cheated on her husband as she had issues with him and failed to talk it out... That´s a real messy situation that personally grosses me out. One of my coworkers got cheated on recently, it was her childhood love she has 2 kids with... She still went to work for distraction but kept getting panic attacks, it made me cry a few times as well and we aren´t even close... Cheating is one of the most traumatizing things a partner can do to you, and if her husband is truly that shitty, she can just leave him...
June 6, 2019 at 20:41
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme » Liquidized.Mind.LM3992
What part of me trying to find some answers or trying to have issues better exposed and articulated so I can quickly zero in on them and address them do people not understand on this thread? I´m sorry, but the answers of (paraphrasing here) "you´re a lying, cheating slut"; "just divorce"; and/or "Venus in Scorpio - certainly you are just a lying, perverse degenerate" are flat out unacceptable as any form of valid advice.

I am working through MY issues as well as my relationship issues at this time. I have a baby coming in six months,and I need to make the most of my time between now and then to identify and start to resolve the issues. I saw use of an astrology forum as an alternative, albeit experimental, means to concurrently uncover my issues as I identify and work through the issues with my husband and therapist.

I could easily have said F- it all and simply had an abortion and got a divorce. The fact that I´m trying to work through all of this hopefully demonstrates my commitment towards and love for my husband.
June 6, 2019 at 20:40
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » goldenlion32
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
Nothing was directed at you, what was directed was merely how you handle the situation, what raises my head is this ladies inability to appropriately assess how bad what she is doing is..
Even when there are other options to get it sorted, the option to do the right things, the option to actually have self respect and some kind of morals.

The emotional damage is profound if her husband finds out what she is doing, sure it i snot a good thing to use marriage as a way to keep someone tied, but she can contest it in court, i don´t buy a single ounce of what she is saying based on my gut instinct of how she uses people to sustain herself when given any type of straight to the point assessment, Vanille was not even harsh to her, Vanille simply states how it is.
what has Vanille´s sexuality and previous threads got to to do with this woman?

I see someone who wants to paint a picture, something is still hidden, that is all i am saying.

I wish this lady the best of luck in sorting the problem out, but that hidden stuff needs fixing, don´t waste time.
June 6, 2019 at 20:26
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » Liquidized.Mind.LM3992
If I was covering it up at this point in 2019, I wouldn´t just admitted it. That makes no sense.
June 6, 2019 at 20:25
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » goldenlion32
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
Well strictly on a moral view point, things don´t happen without accepting true reality first.

As a human i respect your opinion.
June 6, 2019 at 20:25
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » Liquidized.Mind.LM3992
Yes, I been through the obstacle course I reached self-mastery. I know what you´re talking about. I walk the walk and talk the talk.
June 6, 2019 at 20:23
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » Liquidized.Mind.LM3992
It´s not excusing the behavior, but having compassion, understanding, and empathy. I can´t help people in the world by wounding them more, and fortunately, I´ve talked to more couples than you can count in ten years online and I´ve never had complaints. I have changed people´s lives, saved marriages, and I provide the answers, solutions, tools, methods, techniques, and resources to help them. I have put in more hours than you can count, so please don´t tell me what couples are capable of doing and not doing. I have spent 12 to 17 hours a day online counseling people for the last ten years, degree in hand as as well, and understand counselors do not be biased who they help or astrologers. That is in cultural diversity courses, international relations, family dynamics, sexual therapy courses, and I can give you the whole list of course I took to get my degree besides a whole list of other therapists how heal couples.

I did the work and earned the right to say what I do. I put in the effort, did my own observational research, I did my own education and do it daily. I am not your run of the mill person online that just gives out their opinion. I have made it to the top of coaching Entrepreneurs.

So really the opinion of one small group is not going to ruffle my feathers.
June 6, 2019 at 20:20
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » goldenlion32
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
So you show your sympathies for past mistakes you did? instead of forwarding the correct direction to this lady here?

It takes balls and courage to fix mistakes, it´s a test of who you are to help others grow.
June 6, 2019 at 20:18
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » VunderFemme
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
Was not talking about your Moon dear, i can see it is in severe detriment by how you fail to understand things in a more logical manner, logic is not merely intellectual.
June 6, 2019 at 20:17
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » VunderFemme
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
That is how your mind see´s things, i gave you that chart to see what connections are buzzing off between me and you, yes i understand how Venus in Scorpio works, my father has it.

Capable of the most horrendous stuff and adept at covering it up, it´s ok, time will have you.
June 6, 2019 at 20:17
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32 » Liquidized.Mind.LM3992
I did mess up in Saturn in Libra in my 3rd house of Uranus in Libra, this is what usually happens at the beginning in the Nodal Return. Mine was just online, but yes we broke up until I got my shit together, and that was in Saturn in Scorpio we got back together.

My story is not the same though as I was already divorced in Saturn in Virgo. Just ended a marriage, had three people die, lost my home, lost my auto, my materialism. Both were long distance relationships in other areas of the world.

So it wasn´t a physical affair, but emotional affair. And of course it was a important lesson to learn with the Vertex in Capricorn in 2010 in North Node Capricorn/South Node Cancer because that Vertex Capricorn is my house of enemies and of course all the masculine were mirroring the same energy around me and I had to learn to know the difference between true love and false love.

It´s important lesson to learn about the Vertex and catastrophic tests in relationships. So yes, you can have five women around you at the same time mirroring the same energy in your natal charts, and when you pick the wrong one, you end up having some hard consequences.

Which she just learned this in her 6th house with Sagittarius, and if I remember right she has Vertex in Sag. Both of them have Sagittarius that fall in that house and are part of the issues.

This also has to do with past life karma in the 12th house, so there´s more than people realize going on here on the 6th/12th axis and everyone learns it at some point in time.
June 6, 2019 at 20:17
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme » Liquidized.Mind.LM3992
My moon is in severe detriment. Look again.
June 6, 2019 at 20:16
(Sagittarius) VunderFemme » Liquidized.Mind.LM3992
Umm, here is my understanding of what you said:. My birth chart says everything about me and I cannot control my behavior as indicated by my birth chart. Therefore it is useless to attempt to change our behavior patterns because we are destined to be only what our birth chart says. No amount of therapy or self-reflection can allow you to change yourself.
June 6, 2019 at 20:12
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » goldenlion32
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
If you have not noticed both me and her have domicile & exalted Moon placements, i doubt for a second she would harden emotionally, i certainly never have and have had some of the worst thrown at me in life, it´s not an excuse, stop excusing it. End of.
June 6, 2019 at 20:10
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » VunderFemme
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
Nothing to do with charts, i literally see through you.

You say you apparently should not do things, this means you are not doing things because you are weaponizing standard strategies to better health.

"Apparently I shouldn´t work on myself or pay a therapist, since, from what I surmise by your comment, NO ONE can learn to work around their astrological detriments struck permanently at their time of birth."

This has nothing to do with detriments, it has to do with how it functions, you as a person is in control no one else, don´t shift it.
Posts: 52-28 27-3 2-1
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