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YOUR first relationship ♥ What did you learn? - Discussions, questions
YOUR first relationship ♥ What did you learn?

May 8, 2022 at 13:58 (UT/GMT)

System message: Post has been written by user S-Kandlin, who already deleted profile on this website:
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YOUR first relationship ♥ What did you learn?
What did you learn from your first big relationship?

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May 13, 2022 at 07:14


May 12, 2022 at 15:00


May 12, 2022 at 07:56


May 11, 2022 at 11:02


May 11, 2022 at 05:04



May 10, 2022 at 15:43

Afterall we cannot descend into chaos like men do!
Though I honestly prefer their way of being direct to being stabbed in the back and nobody even acknowledging that it happened

Everyone does it to an extent though I think, we´re all trying to convince other people of something because we think that we´ll be better when they agree that it isn´t always noticeable until a point and we won´t admit that we could be anything but very well intentioned!

May 10, 2022 at 15:08

"Anything under the guise of "caring", even if it is real in their minds, can be positioned to convince you that they are right"
This hurts

"Men just argue unreasonably

Their shit is as explicit as sunlight when I compare them with women lol

May 10, 2022 at 14:39

Women gaslight, even when they don´t realise that they are. That´s the worst then
Anything under the guise of "caring", even if it is real in their minds, can be positioned to convince you that they are right
Men just argue unreasonably

Which is easier to counter

May 10, 2022 at 14:31

-Women lie better than men do
-Men are right to get afraid of women
-Be cautious even when they act like a cute little girl.
-Acting mysteriously to have a girl doesn´t usually work, blows up in your ass
-It is crucially important to notice and appreciate little nice things they do for you. That shows if they are in love with you.
-If you don´t wanna get cheated on afterwards, never be with a girl unless you are sure she gets over their ex emotionally.
-If she has an illness, depression or panic attack (if there really is

-Women are not get caught until you decide to trace. She will probably keep acting like a cute, helpless little girl wanting to be loved by you till that time.



May 10, 2022 at 07:55

Açıkçası kimse evli ya da bir ilişki içinde olmak zorunda değil.
Herkesin hayatında bir partner olmak zorunda değil.
Çünkü herhangi bir ilişki türünün sorumluluğu, sevgi alış verişini, maddi manevi olarak denge de kalmayı Herkesin yapabileceği bir şey değil.
Bazi insanların yanliz yaşaması gerekiyor.
Ama benim ilişki konusunda edindiğim ana fikir ve his.
Üşümek oldu.
Konu başlığı için teşekkürler.



May 9, 2022 at 23:54

OK, I will describe the initial normality-bending event:
Our relationship was a rocky, on-off affair, with me largely being non-committal. But after we´d gotten our second apartment together, I was sitting alone and had the thought, “Here we are still together after a year and a half – I should start being nice to her” (i.e. pamper her). It was more than a thought, it was a decision to ´step up´ and acknowledge her importance in my life by showing my appreciation of her.
But, the moment I had this thought, a ´voice of inner guidance´ said, “She´ll leave you [if you be nice to her].” I both trusted this inner voice and didn´t want her to leave, so I remained my usual nonchalant self, going forward.
Now, in what f**king upside down universe does a woman who isn´t getting the attention she needs up and leave her man the moment he starts giving it? (Granted, there is that ´Australian´ saying, “Treat ´em mean, keep ´em keen”, but anyway... )
So our relationship muddled onwards (infact we started seeing other people during this phase), and it was a year later, in yet another apartment, that I finally fell in love with her – actually via the realization that she was my best friend. In response, this woman who´d lately been telling me she loves me and that she believes we belong together, suddenly became aloof, then left me.
OK, it could be argued that she didn´t really love me but was simply on a subconscious quest to prove to herself that she is lovable, and once she had that proof she moved on. But infact this is a pattern which has been echoed in every mutual attraction in my life ever since: the moment my ´emotional barometer´ reaches a certain level,

Hindsight tells me that had I gone through with ´being nice to´ my first partner (who infact was my first everything: 1st girlfriend; 1st sex; 1st love) on that original occasion, this very act would´ve ´triggered´ me to fall in love with her, which in turn would´ve triggered her to dump me.
Meanwhile, eight years after my first love left me and was gone, gone, gone and not looking back, there I am having her voice mysteriously appear on tape recordings; experiencing a liquid ´tear´ manifest at the eye of a mounted photograph of her (much like that ´weeping Virgin Mary statue´ phenomenon); being woken up in the middle of the night by her plaintive voice insisting that she loves me..!
This love relationship-oriented paranormality is actually a generic phenomenon known as the Love Bite/Dark Cupid. I have already posted the video about it several times on this site, but since you are a classic curious Virgo (with a probing Scorpio moon, no less), I shall indeed post it again:
https://youtu.be/cekpxY80u4I
Plus its sequel:
https://youtu.be/EdHaPzGC8_o
So there goes your long story, thank you for asking, and I won´t bore these other poor people any longer.







May 9, 2022 at 16:53

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I didn´t say she lacked intelligence. Not at all. On the contrary, she was very intelligent and educated. The lack was of intellectual exchange, nothing else. And by that I mean on a cultural and social level. We were interested in different things and we eventually ran out of things to talk about.
I am very curious as a person, I like to get to know people on a deeper level, and to do so you want to understand the person, his/her thoughts and feelings. You need to really LISTEN to a person to learn something about him/her, and I like LISTENING. She wasn´t very interested in talking about such things. I also like to talk about philosophy, ideas and abstract concepts in general, that´s just me. She wasn´t very interested in talking about such things either. So we didn´t have much in common. Of course I was interested in how her day was and what she had for lunch and what her plans for tomorrow were, but if you TRULY want to bond with someone, I believe we have to open up to each other more than that from time to time. I don´t blame her at all, we were just different and couldn´t suite our needs of emotional connection, support and intellectual exchange (which I value).
I totally agree with you on intelligence and IQ. I don´t like the word intelligence and how it is used to measure how ”smart” a person is. That says nothing about the social competence and social/emotional intelligence.
Your "lecture" was not needed :) It seems to me that you jumped to conclusions without knowing very much about me or the situation. If you really want to understand me and my thought processes, then ask and listen and I´ll tell you more.

May 9, 2022 at 16:26


May 9, 2022 at 11:44


May 9, 2022 at 11:05


May 9, 2022 at 10:37

Lütfen bana anlatın.
Uzun cümlelerden asla sıkılmam.




May 9, 2022 at 10:33

Bu durumu çok yaşadım.
Teşekkürler




May 9, 2022 at 07:44

It´s a long story (sigh)



May 9, 2022 at 06:23

=====
During my bankruptcy (I like this term, since it´s about a material, brain loss, even if the whole thing allows to grow up in consciousness) relationships I´ve learnt that things have never to be one-sided and that if there are no friendship and no mutual comprehension, well, let it die.
Moreover, it is salvific taking into account the fact that """love""" - I mean the one everybody uses to dream about instead of observing reality (and I also made this mistake too often) - can easily end when it freaking wants, since it is always about momentary crushes, sexual silliness, obsessions or apathetic habitude.
... seems I made a mashup of all my experiences so far. Sorry, but they all were like a recurrent first time for me.

May 9, 2022 at 05:31

For me relationships are torture. I am not enjoying to write it, but its true that my first big relationship learned me in fact not to trust... It was really wonderfull, my partner had sun on my Venus and everything seemed clear, but it was illussion.
To understand love and relationships is for me still very difficult.
But! My first big relationship was my first relationship ever, so for me was everything new. I learned my first steps to know man (because I grew without father), how to open myself mainly with painfull emotions, how to share it...how to be cared...and we have together son...
Until we broke up, I thought noone can be better...But priorities changed everything....

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