YOUR first relationship ♥ What did you learn? - Discussions, questions

Hellomidnightlovers Two Sagittarius together is super tiring

soul1111 That being alone is not that bad and shouldn´t be scary.

Etherealmind » rohini moon You don´t get so well with some taurus men ?

Georgiana27 I learned to not give my all anymore.

Pisces-RISING2 That I m very changeable and he didn´t knew me like he always said. I m unpredictable and one of a kind in our relationship I learn that I m very capable to do whatever I desire and that my dreams are not to big as they are for him

viv I learned to protect myself! I learned not to project my Uranian wild side, that creative, rebellious, somewhat lawless types may not be all that mentally stable; that allure and sexual interest do not equal love and that I needed training if I wanted to be able to handle fluctuating altered states and psychosis. I walked out and closed the door..I learned quite a lot as I look back, especially for 17!

Queen92 Just let go....10 of swords energy... If dont work just let it gooo with the flow

Anni23 » Zephyrin Well I suppose we learn from them what not to do

Afterall we cannot descend into chaos like men do!

Though I honestly prefer their way of being direct to being stabbed in the back and nobody even acknowledging that it happened

Everyone does it to an extent though I think, we´re all trying to convince other people of something because we think that we´ll be better when they agree that it isn´t always noticeable until a point and we won´t admit that we could be anything but very well intentioned!

Zephyrin » Anni23 Yeah, most women don´t notice they gaslight. Once it was hard to control that side of me but now I only use it on people who do evil to me.

"Anything under the guise of "caring", even if it is real in their minds, can be positioned to convince you that they are right"

This hurts

"Men just argue unreasonably "

Their shit is as explicit as sunlight when I compare them with women lol

Anni23 » Zephyrin Ahahaha. Just from my experience with women as relatives and observing others some of this may be true

Women gaslight, even when they don´t realise that they are. That´s the worst then
Anything under the guise of "caring", even if it is real in their minds, can be positioned to convince you that they are right

Men just argue unreasonably
Which is easier to counter

Zephyrin Mine was with a girl. It was a toxic one. Most of these may be known already...

-Women lie better than men do

-Men are right to get afraid of women

-Be cautious even when they act like a cute little girl.

-Acting mysteriously to have a girl doesn´t usually work, blows up in your ass

-It is crucially important to notice and appreciate little nice things they do for you. That shows if they are in love with you.

-If you don´t wanna get cheated on afterwards, never be with a girl unless you are sure she gets over their ex emotionally.

-If she has an illness, depression or panic attack (if there really is ), she may use them to make you feel pity for her so that she can control you by excusing her illnesses. Most shitty manipulation I have ever got.

-Women are not get caught until you decide to trace. She will probably keep acting like a cute, helpless little girl wanting to be loved by you till that time.

Emanuel Never had one

MONA_ROZA Bulunduğumuz yüzyılda ilişkiler söz konusu olduğunda türeyen ilişki kurtlarinin kendine vermiş olduğu isim "deneyim" konusunda da pek bilgim olmasa da benimde söyleyeceklerim var.

Açıkçası kimse evli ya da bir ilişki içinde olmak zorunda değil.
Herkesin hayatında bir partner olmak zorunda değil.
Çünkü herhangi bir ilişki türünün sorumluluğu, sevgi alış verişini, maddi manevi olarak denge de kalmayı Herkesin yapabileceği bir şey değil.
Bazi insanların yanliz yaşaması gerekiyor.
Ama benim ilişki konusunda edindiğim ana fikir ve his.
Üşümek oldu.
Konu başlığı için teşekkürler.

MONA_ROZA » Del65 Cok teşekkürler.

Del65 » MONA_ROZA Translation from Turkish: ”I enjoy listening to this story. Please tell me. I never get bored of long sentences.”
OK, I will describe the initial normality-bending event:

Our relationship was a rocky, on-off affair, with me largely being non-committal. But after we´d gotten our second apartment together, I was sitting alone and had the thought, “Here we are still together after a year and a half – I should start being nice to her” (i.e. pamper her). It was more than a thought, it was a decision to ´step up´ and acknowledge her importance in my life by showing my appreciation of her.
But, the moment I had this thought, a ´voice of inner guidance´ said, “She´ll leave you [if you be nice to her].” I both trusted this inner voice and didn´t want her to leave, so I remained my usual nonchalant self, going forward.

Now, in what f**king upside down universe does a woman who isn´t getting the attention she needs up and leave her man the moment he starts giving it? (Granted, there is that ´Australian´ saying, “Treat ´em mean, keep ´em keen”, but anyway... )

So our relationship muddled onwards (infact we started seeing other people during this phase), and it was a year later, in yet another apartment, that I finally fell in love with her – actually via the realization that she was my best friend. In response, this woman who´d lately been telling me she loves me and that she believes we belong together, suddenly became aloof, then left me.

OK, it could be argued that she didn´t really love me but was simply on a subconscious quest to prove to herself that she is lovable, and once she had that proof she moved on. But infact this is a pattern which has been echoed in every mutual attraction in my life ever since: the moment my ´emotional barometer´ reaches a certain level, she is outa here..!
Hindsight tells me that had I gone through with ´being nice to´ my first partner (who infact was my first everything: 1st girlfriend; 1st sex; 1st love) on that original occasion, this very act would´ve ´triggered´ me to fall in love with her, which in turn would´ve triggered her to dump me.
Meanwhile, eight years after my first love left me and was gone, gone, gone and not looking back, there I am having her voice mysteriously appear on tape recordings; experiencing a liquid ´tear´ manifest at the eye of a mounted photograph of her (much like that ´weeping Virgin Mary statue´ phenomenon); being woken up in the middle of the night by her plaintive voice insisting that she loves me..!

This love relationship-oriented paranormality is actually a generic phenomenon known as the Love Bite/Dark Cupid. I have already posted the video about it several times on this site, but since you are a classic curious Virgo (with a probing Scorpio moon, no less), I shall indeed post it again:

https://youtu.be/cekpxY80u4I

Plus its sequel:

https://youtu.be/EdHaPzGC8_o

So there goes your long story, thank you for asking, and I won´t bore these other poor people any longer.

Astro-Seek.com » prollygonnamakeit System message: Post has been written by user S-Kandlin, who already deleted profile on this website:
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I didn´t say she lacked intelligence. Not at all. On the contrary, she was very intelligent and educated. The lack was of intellectual exchange, nothing else. And by that I mean on a cultural and social level. We were interested in different things and we eventually ran out of things to talk about.

I am very curious as a person, I like to get to know people on a deeper level, and to do so you want to understand the person, his/her thoughts and feelings. You need to really LISTEN to a person to learn something about him/her, and I like LISTENING. She wasn´t very interested in talking about such things. I also like to talk about philosophy, ideas and abstract concepts in general, that´s just me. She wasn´t very interested in talking about such things either. So we didn´t have much in common. Of course I was interested in how her day was and what she had for lunch and what her plans for tomorrow were, but if you TRULY want to bond with someone, I believe we have to open up to each other more than that from time to time. I don´t blame her at all, we were just different and couldn´t suite our needs of emotional connection, support and intellectual exchange (which I value).

I totally agree with you on intelligence and IQ. I don´t like the word intelligence and how it is used to measure how ”smart” a person is. That says nothing about the social competence and social/emotional intelligence.

Your "lecture" was not needed :) It seems to me that you jumped to conclusions without knowing very much about me or the situation. If you really want to understand me and my thought processes, then ask and listen and I´ll tell you more.

Graham To not put your partners on a pedestal, yet always treat them with respect.

Angelina That when older men choose mainly only much younger women as their partners, they are insecure, have many inner problems and complexes

sadiemae100 So much. Mainly about myself & some hard life lessons. I learned that two people can love each other yet do nothing but hurt one another.

MONA_ROZA » Del65 Ben bu hikayeyi zevkle dinlerim.
Lütfen bana anlatın.
Uzun cümlelerden asla sıkılmam.

MONA_ROZA » prollygonnamakeit Bu cümle gerçekten düşündüğüm ama kelimeler ile anlatamadığım bir cümle.
Bu durumu çok yaşadım.
Teşekkürler

Catch-22 Love is not a victory march...

Del65 That something weird is going on. Reality isn´t flowing as it should...

It´s a long story (sigh)

Astro-Seek.com System message: Post has been written by user Owlmate, who already deleted profile on this website:
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During my bankruptcy (I like this term, since it´s about a material, brain loss, even if the whole thing allows to grow up in consciousness) relationships I´ve learnt that things have never to be one-sided and that if there are no friendship and no mutual comprehension, well, let it die.
Moreover, it is salvific taking into account the fact that """love""" - I mean the one everybody uses to dream about instead of observing reality (and I also made this mistake too often) - can easily end when it freaking wants, since it is always about momentary crushes, sexual silliness, obsessions or apathetic habitude.
... seems I made a mashup of all my experiences so far. Sorry, but they all were like a recurrent first time for me.

stigmí Hmmm...
For me relationships are torture. I am not enjoying to write it, but its true that my first big relationship learned me in fact not to trust... It was really wonderfull, my partner had sun on my Venus and everything seemed clear, but it was illussion.
To understand love and relationships is for me still very difficult.
But! My first big relationship was my first relationship ever, so for me was everything new. I learned my first steps to know man (because I grew without father), how to open myself mainly with painfull emotions, how to share it...how to be cared...and we have together son...
Until we broke up, I thought noone can be better...But priorities changed everything....