Synastry: You´re doing it wrong.

February 18, 2021 at 22:41 (UT/GMT)
(Scorpio) ancient_astrology
Synastry: You´re doing it wrong.
I see some of the so-called synastry being done on Astro-seek and it is either wrong or incomplete. The first problem is that most people want to start with the combined synastry charts. Not a good idea.

The first thing you want to look at is each person´s separate charts. We want to look at the Descendant to see what a person is looking for in a partner. We want to also look at the planets in the 7th house, the houses they rule, and the ruler of the DSC. We want to look at Venus to see HOW this person expresses their love. We want to look at the Moon Sun aspect for ease or stress one happens to have in relationships.

For men we use the luminaries: Moon, for women the Sun (sexual orientation doesn´t matter, however, if you are say, non-binary, you will want to use your biological sex to determine this). We look at the aspects to the luminary to determine what kind of relationships this person is likely to find themselves in.

That is just a bit of what we look for in the birth chart. We see THIS PERSON, what they want, what they give, how they relate, etc. We look at both charts separately.

NOW, we can move on to the synastry chart. We are looking at three broad categories:

1) Duration: do the two people have the POTENTIAL for a long relationship with each other (doesn´t mean they will have a long relationship...means a tendancy towards). For this we look at various combinations between Ascendants, Descendants, Ruler of Ascendant and Ruler of Descendant. The more connections, the more likely that it could be a long relationship

2) We look for attraction. This is romantic and sexual. This is what most people use for synastry and it is bad to limit the synastry chart to this. Of course, we are using combinations of Mars and Venus.

3) We want to look for friendship significators, even if this is a romantic relationship. We look for certain combinations between Sun, Moon, Ascendant, Part of Fortune and MC. We will also want to look at communication habits by looking at various aspects between Moon and Moon, and Moon and Mercury and Mercury and Mercury. This will show if communication is easy or if our habits are compatible. For example, if you wake up early and your partner wakes up late, this could be a real problem in the relationship, as petty as it might seem. We will want to look at aspects between Jupiter in one chart and planets in the other, especially aspects between the two Jupiters. For difficulties, we definitely want to look at Saturn and Mars difficult aspects to other planets. We especially need to look at any difficult aspects between Mars and Moon.

I hope this will help put you on the right track in terms of your synastry readings. And remember, you can work on all of this stuff if you want to. On the other hand there can be lots of good connections, but one or two bad ones can sink the ship.

Any questions? Good luck!

Posts in topic

Page: 2 1
Sort posts:
February 28, 2021 at 15:24
(Capricorn) Amananda » fishscales
What happens when if have a pretty good synastry with exact Venus Square Uranus and a excellent composite with good Saturn aspect to all personal planets? And one good Uranus aspect?
February 28, 2021 at 12:25
(Pisces) fishscales » LotusStar
"I think composites show the final outcome and overall themes of the relationship and I find when the composite is a dud, the relationship won´t come together or hold, no matter the synastry. It´s like a crush, you may like them, but it´s not meant to be."

I never quite thought it out like this, but I´m pretty sure I agree...
February 28, 2021 at 01:53
(Virgo) LotusStar » fishscales
I always like to look for at least Eros, Lilith, Chiron and Juno. Both for synastry and composite. I find these particularly significant and almost feel its incomplete without them.

I think composites show the final outcome and overall themes of the relationship and I find when the composite is a dud, the relationship won´t come together or hold, no matter the synastry. It´s like a crush, you may like them, but it´s not meant to be.
February 27, 2021 at 21:03
(Pisces) fishscales » LotusStar
I´ve found it useful to check asteroids in the composite too. Adds another layer of color and nuance, and provides some clarity and possible answers to areas of the chart that may be "on the fence" a bit, if you know what I mean.

Asteroids are good in synastry too, but I like them in composites more because the composite just provides a simpler picture. And you can also use more asteroids without it getting too confusing, since each asteroid will only appear in the chart once instead of twice.

I tend to prefer the composite over synastry anyway, at least for my purposes...although synastry is probably more useful for those who have "just met."
February 27, 2021 at 17:27
(Virgo) LotusStar » Steve Guesshow
I´ve found composite to be very accurate in showing how things play out too. But looking at the natal helps shows if the people are comfortable with this dynamic or not.

I see composites I feel look hideous with say Venus square Mars/Saturn conjunction, and yet know long term couples with this in the composite. I can´t know for sure what goes on there but they seem to tolerate it. A lot of times one or both has such aspects in their natal.
February 27, 2021 at 17:22
(Virgo) LotusStar » ancient_astrology
What´s your interpretation of 12 house and/or Neptune-Mars hard aspects between people (in synastry)? Are these basically impossible to make work?
February 27, 2021 at 11:11
(Capricorn) Amananda » nikkia
I laughed so hard especially at the part where you took the King size bed. Thanks for the good laugh. :61:
February 23, 2021 at 01:01
(Sagittarius) Steve Guesshow
Well...we´re doing it right. If we know what to expect.
Synastry is very good technique to show things how they are. There are energies which behave somehow..."there is something, which is easy going, and that one is somehow hard"...and I think it is just like car atlas, a map which can show us where to go, which road is tough and which is easy...and so on.
But. Synastry does not tell you the result. What happens next... when you chose this or that way. It could say very exactly things like "you are both stubborn and none of you wants to yield, give the way"...and thats all. And I think that there is better technique for seeing the results. It is Composite.
I honestly do know all the technical objections and protests, starting with "it is artificial and unnatural horoscope" or "Gemini could not be average of Taurus and Cancer". Rationally, I agree, I can empathize with arguments. But...it somehow works. For me. I have good results, it "speaks" to me. If synastry says "what energy flows between them and what could it do", composite says the "verdict". "Will they be together?"
Composite says a lot about the relationship, as it was one person, one entity. It is extremely precise in details that you cannot simply see in synastry. Bad synastry and good composite (e.g."we provoke ourselves and it is Sicilian relationship...but we are together and it somehow works") is imo better than good synastry and bad composite ("we understand each other and we fit together...but we have not reached the goal to be really together, in serious relationship".
February 22, 2021 at 18:35
(Aries) nutelina » fishscales
That´s sweet Fish :62: Glad you have a good relationship.
February 22, 2021 at 18:33
(Aries) nutelina » nikkia
I know you had to leave, I think you miss him too don´t you? But not the snoring. Well if he didn´t take it seriously then that´s his fault, he lost you. That´s what´s sad about it IMHO.

Poor baby, well it´s the mother who can influence. I was not longer around but my ex wouldn´t listen to me anyway. That was very sad indeed.

I still think it´s a "leaky gut" problem, stuff gets into your blood and your body ´panics´ giving you all kinds of nightmares. Of course there could be a psychological part of it too.

I actually don´t know how she is doing now. I think it is better but I don´t know. Have to ask her sister. She is the only one who will tell the truth.
February 22, 2021 at 14:43
(Scorpio) Travelguy35 » ancient_astrology
My gf is a cap moon, myself, I am an aries moon and adjusing to each other has been seamless and easy. We approach life in very similar ways. I truly think moon-moon aspects are kind of over-stated, just like sun-sun.
February 22, 2021 at 02:23
(Pisces) fishscales » nikkia
"have you ever talked her when she is talking in her sleep?"

No. Admittedly, I usually start laughing...

Recently, she said something like "I made (our son´s name) a promise, and I will NOT break it..!"

Had to chuckle at the earnestness of it.

"And, I´d tell that boy not to even THINK about wine !
He will get hurt by momma !"

It was actually the girl :4:
February 22, 2021 at 02:17
(Aquarius) nikkia » fishscales
He gave me a black eye one night with his elbow. Try explaining that at work. Good thing my nose wasn´t broken. Another night he bruised my lips. We had a wedding that weekend, too. My beautiful dress didn´t look so fancy with a cracked mouth. I have pictures of it. I was not happy. I really began to not like him !

I was going to ask you... have you ever talked her when she is talking in her sleep? I´ve had entire conversations that way. It can calm them when you tell them that they are OK and loved and safe in their beds. YOU many not safe, though...lol

And, I´d tell that boy not to even THINK about wine !
He will get hurt by momma !
February 22, 2021 at 02:01
(Pisces) fishscales » nikkia
"He also physically harmed me twice while he was actively dreaming."

Oh no that´s me...

I got punched and shoved last week alone :61:

The shove was because she was dreaming our 14 year old was going upstairs to her bedroom with a glass of wine...acting like it was totally normal...

Not sure what the punch was about...didn´t ask...

None of it hurt, but I can see how it would be different if the positions were reversed...
February 22, 2021 at 00:38
(Aquarius) nikkia » nutelina
Poor baby. Yes, very sad. I am so sorry.
Is there a chance she will outgrow what´s called ´night terrors´?
Many kids do outgrow these.

He had gone the the Sleep Clinic several times for study. I had great Health Insurance that covered him, too. He has several severe medical problems. He didn´t take these problems or the solutions seriously enough.
This took a great toll on him, eventually...and me all along.
As you know, I had to leave. It was beyond sad.
February 21, 2021 at 21:19
(Aries) nutelina » nikkia
Sounds a bit like my daughter. She would wake us up several times at night, screaming like she was about to get butchered or something. And in the morning she would not remember a thing and look all smug while we would be cranky because of our lack of deep sleep.

This has been going on for years, at the beginning she started crying from her sleep right almost after going to bed, a few hours after dinner. It was like clockwork.

So I wonder if what she ate affected if she would have bad dreams or wake up screaming. I did a test, and it seem to work but unfortunately my ex was never cooperating and couldn´t admit anything wrong or any wrongdoing. In our relationship I would be the one quickest to be awake if the kids were affected. But she would not let me try an experiment and saw it just as to criticize her as a mother I think. Sad.
February 21, 2021 at 20:28
(Aquarius) nikkia » fishscales
:1: that sounds pretty normal to me...

Like I wrote before: EVERYTHING was tried. Over a VERY long period of time. This is an extreme case. Not a typical annoyance. He also physically harmed me twice while he was actively dreaming. As an example, it speaks volumes about how such issues can impact health and break relationships.
February 21, 2021 at 20:02
(Virgo) RohiniMoon » nikkia
Snoring grates on my nerves too...but...as my father used to say... "Snoring means you have a clear-conscious"

He was half kidding about that of course, but still nice to look at that way, IMO.
February 21, 2021 at 19:57
(Aries) etherealdepths
very informative, thank you so much!
February 21, 2021 at 13:23
(Pisces) fishscales » nikkia
Wow, that is quite an extreme snoring tale...

We have that problem a little bit...

Apparently, I don´t snore when I sleep on my side though, so I´ve learned to do that.

Those nasal strips you stick on the bridge of your nose help a little bit too.

I´d never have my wife leave the bed because of my snoring though...if I´m having a particularly bad night with it, I´ll be the one to go downstairs...

Now, if I invested in some ear plugs to deal with her talking in her sleep, we´d have all the bases covered.. :4:
February 20, 2021 at 18:02
(Aries) nutelina » ancient_astrology
I didn´t want to prod but indeed... Also a lot of breathing difficulty has simply to do with allergies, milk is one of the examples. If I drink milk I get sinus problems, will sleep badly etc.

I mean talk about wasting your time on looking for the cause in the wrong place... A good partner is really worth gold!
February 20, 2021 at 15:21
(Scorpio) ancient_astrology » leorising
I understand the problem that you and Nikki are having. However, there is a simple solution. Have sex and then go to sleep in a different room. Problem solved!!!!
February 20, 2021 at 08:18
(Libra) leorising » nikkia
No thanks , Saturn and Jupiter in aquarius transiting is solving my life :75: :75:
But in my synastry with my suitor I have Saturn in his 12th house :61: :61: :61: i have to solve this snoring problem before sleeping with him :61: :75:
February 20, 2021 at 04:59
(Scorpio) ancient_astrology » NettyJay
<<I read/learnt that for a woman you need to look at when your Jupiter Returns and for men you need to look for when your Venus returns.>>

No, this is not right. Think about it. Venus returns every 225 days. If that were the case, a man would meet his "soul mate" every 7 or 8 months.

Prognostication of meeting a serious romantic partner is more difficult and requires one to look at annual profections, the Lot of Marriage, Primary Directions and the Solar return chart.

The information I provide above is just to give you some idea what you need to do to determine if the relationship has potential AND what will be some of the things you would need to look at. Unfortunately to give full directions on how to apply those things would require a lot more detail.
February 20, 2021 at 03:20
(Aquarius) NettyJay
Thank you for providing this information. Especially so that I have discovered that our birth charts can predict the timing for when you are most likely to meet your soul mate (which for me is at this present time).

Would you be able to confirm for me if this following information I have found is correct?

I read/learnt that for a woman you need to look at when your Jupiter Returns and for men you need to look for when your Venus returns.

Is there any other indicators that you can point me in the direction of as I am preparing to investigate this area with a person I have recently met. Again so your information provided above has come at a good time for me! Thank you so much for sharing! :75:
Posts: 49-25 24-1
« previous  next » »|
Current Planets, Astrology Transits, Chart of this moment
Current planets
Planetary positions
Show chart »
Lunar calendar 2021
Moon calendar
Moon in Libra Libra
Show calendar »