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Synastry: You´re doing it wrong. - Discussions, questions
Synastry: You´re doing it wrong.
February 18, 2021 at 22:41 (UT/GMT)

Synastry: You´re doing it wrong.
I see some of the so-called synastry being done on Astro-seek and it is either wrong or incomplete. The first problem is that most people want to start with the combined synastry charts. Not a good idea.
The first thing you want to look at is each person´s separate charts. We want to look at the Descendant to see what a person is looking for in a partner. We want to also look at the planets in the 7th house, the houses they rule, and the ruler of the DSC. We want to look at Venus to see HOW this person expresses their love. We want to look at the Moon Sun aspect for ease or stress one happens to have in relationships.
For men we use the luminaries: Moon, for women the Sun (sexual orientation doesn´t matter, however, if you are say, non-binary, you will want to use your biological sex to determine this). We look at the aspects to the luminary to determine what kind of relationships this person is likely to find themselves in.
That is just a bit of what we look for in the birth chart. We see THIS PERSON, what they want, what they give, how they relate, etc. We look at both charts separately.
NOW, we can move on to the synastry chart. We are looking at three broad categories:
1) Duration: do the two people have the POTENTIAL for a long relationship with each other (doesn´t mean they will have a long relationship...means a tendancy towards). For this we look at various combinations between Ascendants, Descendants, Ruler of Ascendant and Ruler of Descendant. The more connections, the more likely that it could be a long relationship
2) We look for attraction. This is romantic and sexual. This is what most people use for synastry and it is bad to limit the synastry chart to this. Of course, we are using combinations of Mars and Venus.
3) We want to look for friendship significators, even if this is a romantic relationship. We look for certain combinations between Sun, Moon, Ascendant, Part of Fortune and MC. We will also want to look at communication habits by looking at various aspects between Moon and Moon, and Moon and Mercury and Mercury and Mercury. This will show if communication is easy or if our habits are compatible. For example, if you wake up early and your partner wakes up late, this could be a real problem in the relationship, as petty as it might seem. We will want to look at aspects between Jupiter in one chart and planets in the other, especially aspects between the two Jupiters. For difficulties, we definitely want to look at Saturn and Mars difficult aspects to other planets. We especially need to look at any difficult aspects between Mars and Moon.
I hope this will help put you on the right track in terms of your synastry readings. And remember, you can work on all of this stuff if you want to. On the other hand there can be lots of good connections, but one or two bad ones can sink the ship.
Any questions? Good luck!
The first thing you want to look at is each person´s separate charts. We want to look at the Descendant to see what a person is looking for in a partner. We want to also look at the planets in the 7th house, the houses they rule, and the ruler of the DSC. We want to look at Venus to see HOW this person expresses their love. We want to look at the Moon Sun aspect for ease or stress one happens to have in relationships.
For men we use the luminaries: Moon, for women the Sun (sexual orientation doesn´t matter, however, if you are say, non-binary, you will want to use your biological sex to determine this). We look at the aspects to the luminary to determine what kind of relationships this person is likely to find themselves in.
That is just a bit of what we look for in the birth chart. We see THIS PERSON, what they want, what they give, how they relate, etc. We look at both charts separately.
NOW, we can move on to the synastry chart. We are looking at three broad categories:
1) Duration: do the two people have the POTENTIAL for a long relationship with each other (doesn´t mean they will have a long relationship...means a tendancy towards). For this we look at various combinations between Ascendants, Descendants, Ruler of Ascendant and Ruler of Descendant. The more connections, the more likely that it could be a long relationship
2) We look for attraction. This is romantic and sexual. This is what most people use for synastry and it is bad to limit the synastry chart to this. Of course, we are using combinations of Mars and Venus.
3) We want to look for friendship significators, even if this is a romantic relationship. We look for certain combinations between Sun, Moon, Ascendant, Part of Fortune and MC. We will also want to look at communication habits by looking at various aspects between Moon and Moon, and Moon and Mercury and Mercury and Mercury. This will show if communication is easy or if our habits are compatible. For example, if you wake up early and your partner wakes up late, this could be a real problem in the relationship, as petty as it might seem. We will want to look at aspects between Jupiter in one chart and planets in the other, especially aspects between the two Jupiters. For difficulties, we definitely want to look at Saturn and Mars difficult aspects to other planets. We especially need to look at any difficult aspects between Mars and Moon.
I hope this will help put you on the right track in terms of your synastry readings. And remember, you can work on all of this stuff if you want to. On the other hand there can be lots of good connections, but one or two bad ones can sink the ship.
Any questions? Good luck!

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February 28, 2021 at 15:24


February 28, 2021 at 12:25

I never quite thought it out like this, but I´m pretty sure I agree...

February 28, 2021 at 01:53

I think composites show the final outcome and overall themes of the relationship and I find when the composite is a dud, the relationship won´t come together or hold, no matter the synastry. It´s like a crush, you may like them, but it´s not meant to be.

February 27, 2021 at 21:03

Asteroids are good in synastry too, but I like them in composites more because the composite just provides a simpler picture. And you can also use more asteroids without it getting too confusing, since each asteroid will only appear in the chart once instead of twice.
I tend to prefer the composite over synastry anyway, at least for my purposes...although synastry is probably more useful for those who have "just met."

February 27, 2021 at 17:27

I see composites I feel look hideous with say Venus square Mars/Saturn conjunction, and yet know long term couples with this in the composite. I can´t know for sure what goes on there but they seem to tolerate it. A lot of times one or both has such aspects in their natal.

February 27, 2021 at 17:22


February 27, 2021 at 11:11



February 23, 2021 at 01:01

Synastry is very good technique to show things how they are. There are energies which behave somehow..."there is something, which is easy going, and that one is somehow hard"...and I think it is just like car atlas, a map which can show us where to go, which road is tough and which is easy...and so on.
But. Synastry does not tell you the result. What happens next... when you chose this or that way. It could say very exactly things like "you are both stubborn and none of you wants to yield, give the way"...and thats all. And I think that there is better technique for seeing the results. It is Composite.
I honestly do know all the technical objections and protests, starting with "it is artificial and unnatural horoscope" or "Gemini could not be average of Taurus and Cancer". Rationally, I agree, I can empathize with arguments. But...it somehow works. For me. I have good results, it "speaks" to me. If synastry says "what energy flows between them and what could it do", composite says the "verdict". "Will they be together?"
Composite says a lot about the relationship, as it was one person, one entity. It is extremely precise in details that you cannot simply see in synastry. Bad synastry and good composite (e.g."we provoke ourselves and it is Sicilian relationship...but we are together and it somehow works") is imo better than good synastry and bad composite ("we understand each other and we fit together...but we have not reached the goal to be really together, in serious relationship".

February 22, 2021 at 18:35

February 22, 2021 at 18:33

Poor baby, well it´s the mother who can influence. I was not longer around but my ex wouldn´t listen to me anyway. That was very sad indeed.
I still think it´s a "leaky gut" problem, stuff gets into your blood and your body ´panics´ giving you all kinds of nightmares. Of course there could be a psychological part of it too.
I actually don´t know how she is doing now. I think it is better but I don´t know. Have to ask her sister. She is the only one who will tell the truth.

February 22, 2021 at 14:43


February 22, 2021 at 02:23

No. Admittedly, I usually start laughing...
Recently, she said something like "I made (our son´s name) a promise, and I will NOT break it..!"
Had to chuckle at the earnestness of it.
"And, I´d tell that boy not to even THINK about wine !
He will get hurt by momma !"
It was actually the girl


February 22, 2021 at 02:17

I was going to ask you... have you ever talked her when she is talking in her sleep? I´ve had entire conversations that way. It can calm them when you tell them that they are OK and loved and safe in their beds. YOU many not safe, though...lol
And, I´d tell that boy not to even THINK about wine !
He will get hurt by momma !

February 22, 2021 at 02:01

Oh no that´s me...
I got punched and shoved last week alone

The shove was because she was dreaming our 14 year old was going upstairs to her bedroom with a glass of wine...acting like it was totally normal...
Not sure what the punch was about...didn´t ask...
None of it hurt, but I can see how it would be different if the positions were reversed...

February 22, 2021 at 00:38

Is there a chance she will outgrow what´s called ´night terrors´?
Many kids do outgrow these.
He had gone the the Sleep Clinic several times for study. I had great Health Insurance that covered him, too. He has several severe medical problems. He didn´t take these problems or the solutions seriously enough.
This took a great toll on him, eventually...and me all along.
As you know, I had to leave. It was beyond sad.

February 21, 2021 at 21:19

This has been going on for years, at the beginning she started crying from her sleep right almost after going to bed, a few hours after dinner. It was like clockwork.
So I wonder if what she ate affected if she would have bad dreams or wake up screaming. I did a test, and it seem to work but unfortunately my ex was never cooperating and couldn´t admit anything wrong or any wrongdoing. In our relationship I would be the one quickest to be awake if the kids were affected. But she would not let me try an experiment and saw it just as to criticize her as a mother I think. Sad.

February 21, 2021 at 20:28


Like I wrote before: EVERYTHING was tried. Over a VERY long period of time. This is an extreme case. Not a typical annoyance. He also physically harmed me twice while he was actively dreaming. As an example, it speaks volumes about how such issues can impact health and break relationships.

February 21, 2021 at 20:02

He was half kidding about that of course, but still nice to look at that way, IMO.


February 21, 2021 at 13:23

We have that problem a little bit...
Apparently, I don´t snore when I sleep on my side though, so I´ve learned to do that.
Those nasal strips you stick on the bridge of your nose help a little bit too.
I´d never have my wife leave the bed because of my snoring though...if I´m having a particularly bad night with it, I´ll be the one to go downstairs...
Now, if I invested in some ear plugs to deal with her talking in her sleep, we´d have all the bases covered..


February 20, 2021 at 18:02

I mean talk about wasting your time on looking for the cause in the wrong place... A good partner is really worth gold!

February 20, 2021 at 15:21


February 20, 2021 at 08:18



But in my synastry with my suitor I have Saturn in his 12th house






February 20, 2021 at 04:59

No, this is not right. Think about it. Venus returns every 225 days. If that were the case, a man would meet his "soul mate" every 7 or 8 months.
Prognostication of meeting a serious romantic partner is more difficult and requires one to look at annual profections, the Lot of Marriage, Primary Directions and the Solar return chart.
The information I provide above is just to give you some idea what you need to do to determine if the relationship has potential AND what will be some of the things you would need to look at. Unfortunately to give full directions on how to apply those things would require a lot more detail.

February 20, 2021 at 03:20

Would you be able to confirm for me if this following information I have found is correct?
I read/learnt that for a woman you need to look at when your Jupiter Returns and for men you need to look for when your Venus returns.
Is there any other indicators that you can point me in the direction of as I am preparing to investigate this area with a person I have recently met. Again so your information provided above has come at a good time for me! Thank you so much for sharing!


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