Home > Forum > User's posts
Discussions:
Search for:

SagittariusVunderFemme - User's posts in the forum

  
 
 
 
Jun 6, 2019 - 21:09
Synastry & Relationship: What is up with this relationship?
Sun Sign - SagittariusVunderFemme » Astro-Seek.com
Vanille, I´ve tried "talking out" the issues with my husband, repeatedly, for 17 years, only to be simply shut down with his responses of, essentially, it´s all my fault and not any of his. I reached my breaking point last fall and begged for a divorce. For the first time, ever, he acknowledged the pain he caused me over the duration of our marriage. I didn´t believe him given past history, and made I a horrendous decision as a result. Please don´t assume I didn´t try to work on the marriage or didn´t try to end the marriage prior to the affair.

Until the affair happened, I never would have thought myself capable of one. My friends and family that have found out have been shocked because of how atypical that type of behavior is for me. They all know me to be fiercely loyal to the people I care about. My husband actually stated that he realizes I truly must have been in deep, unfathomable despair and desperation because I had the affair in the first place.

If you are familiar with Anne Rice and her Vampire Chronicles, there is a poem at the beginning of one of the chapters called "The Wounded Rabbit". He told me about that poem while we were dating, and he said, even then, that I am the wounded rabbit, running in fear, fear that stems from my not very fun childhood (which included emotional, physical, and sexual abuse from an alcoholic father). So yes, I have issues. That does not condone what I did, and I take responsibility for my actions.

YES, I AM A WHORE FOR CHEATING ON MY HUSBAND. But I was also not my true self. I am trying to use what happened as a tool to finally heal myself and, by extension, my marriage.
Display entire topic: From start | From latest post »
Jun 6, 2019 - 20:41
Synastry & Relationship: What is up with this relationship?
Sun Sign - SagittariusVunderFemme » Astro-Seek.com
What part of me trying to find some answers or trying to have issues better exposed and articulated so I can quickly zero in on them and address them do people not understand on this thread? I´m sorry, but the answers of (paraphrasing here) "you´re a lying, cheating slut"; "just divorce"; and/or "Venus in Scorpio - certainly you are just a lying, perverse degenerate" are flat out unacceptable as any form of valid advice.

I am working through MY issues as well as my relationship issues at this time. I have a baby coming in six months,and I need to make the most of my time between now and then to identify and start to resolve the issues. I saw use of an astrology forum as an alternative, albeit experimental, means to concurrently uncover my issues as I identify and work through the issues with my husband and therapist.

I could easily have said F- it all and simply had an abortion and got a divorce. The fact that I´m trying to work through all of this hopefully demonstrates my commitment towards and love for my husband.
Display entire topic: From start | From latest post »
Jun 6, 2019 - 20:17
Synastry & Relationship: What is up with this relationship?
Sun Sign - SagittariusVunderFemme » Astro-Seek.com
My moon is in severe detriment. Look again.
Display entire topic: From start | From latest post »
Jun 6, 2019 - 20:16
Synastry & Relationship: What is up with this relationship?
Sun Sign - SagittariusVunderFemme » Astro-Seek.com
Umm, here is my understanding of what you said:. My birth chart says everything about me and I cannot control my behavior as indicated by my birth chart. Therefore it is useless to attempt to change our behavior patterns because we are destined to be only what our birth chart says. No amount of therapy or self-reflection can allow you to change yourself.
Display entire topic: From start | From latest post »
Jun 6, 2019 - 20:08
Synastry & Relationship: What is up with this relationship?
Sun Sign - SagittariusVunderFemme » Astro-Seek.com
Liquidized.Mind, I appreciate your advice. However, just because you have my birth chart, it does NOT mean you see through me OR know me. You don´t know what issues I´ve already worked through to mitigate or eliminate negative personal attributes I have that may be otherwise indicated in my chart.

Apparently I shouldn´t work on myself or pay a therapist, since, from what I surmise by your comment, NO ONE can learn to work around their astrological detriments struck permanently at their time of birth.

And where did I say I´m not working on this situation? Did you read the entire thread? And I didn´t tear anyone down. Vanille, on the other hand, could have got her point across just fine without use if hateful, ugly language.
Display entire topic: From start | From latest post »
Jun 6, 2019 - 19:59
Synastry & Relationship: What is up with this relationship?
Sun Sign - SagittariusVunderFemme » Astro-Seek.com
Whose chart is this? Yours?
Display entire topic: From start | From latest post »
Jun 6, 2019 - 19:58
Synastry & Relationship: What is up with this relationship?
Sun Sign - SagittariusVunderFemme » Astro-Seek.com
Thank you. I agree. And my husband and I see this time as closing the chapter of dysfunction we were living and beginning a new chapter where we work together to finally find happiness.
Display entire topic: From start | From latest post »
Jun 6, 2019 - 19:47
Synastry & Relationship: What is up with this relationship?
Sun Sign - SagittariusVunderFemme » Astro-Seek.com
So who, with this same aspect, screwed you over so badly that you automatically think I manipulate people?

I actually put everyone else in my life BEFORE myself. The affair was the one time I didn´t. I abhor adultery, but I had reached a crisis point and felt dead inside. Someone came along that made me feel genuinely wanted for once.

Thanks for playing.
Display entire topic: From start | From latest post »
Jun 6, 2019 - 19:41
Synastry & Relationship: What is up with this relationship?
Sun Sign - SagittariusVunderFemme » Astro-Seek.com
I´ll say one last thing and let it go. I felt for the past 7 years that my husband no longer cared for me romantically. I thought it was solely his commitment to the principle of marriage that kept him around. I broke down in tears a month before the affair and asked for a divorce, but he refused to let go. Everytime I tried having a heart-to-heart with him through the years prior, I always got shut down by him. This last time, he said the death of his father in September made him realize that he had become his father and did not do enough to express his feelings for me and ended up being a brutal assh-le dealing with me. I didn´t give him long enough of a period to demonstrate he meant what he said to me, but, I recalled the multitude of times prior where nothing happened, ultimately causing me to shut down emotionally (state I was in the past 5 years with him).

What I did was wrong, and I recognize that. I have apologized personally to the wife, and I am doing what I can to make things right with my husband. He is also making some major changes because he realizes that he contributed to this mess.

I´m glad you live in a perfect world where yourself and the people around you have never had to experience the relationship trauma. It shows in your opinion.
Display entire topic: From start | From latest post »
Jun 6, 2019 - 19:22
Synastry & Relationship: What is up with this relationship?
Sun Sign - SagittariusVunderFemme » Astro-Seek.com
Wow, thanks for actually taking the time to actually read this thread! Your keen assessment is fabulous!

If you cared to get beyond your knee jerk reaction, you´d see that I am 100% committed to my marriage and husband and am looking for answers here to help me 1.) get the other dude out of my head and 2.) better articulate issues that I can work on with my therapist so this never happens again.

I´m leaving your comment on here so everyone can see what a hateful troll looks like. One would think with your orientation (evidenced by the "my crush is scary" thread), you might more willing to understand someone before throwing any stones. My sister-in-law was on the receiving end of years of discrimination due to her sexual orientation, and I´ve developed a tremendous amount of respect for the LGBT community because of her. Grow the f- up.
Display entire topic: From start | From latest post »
Jun 6, 2019 - 19:06
Synastry & Relationship: What is up with this relationship?
Sun Sign - SagittariusVunderFemme » VunderFemme
Thank you, Masha!
Display entire topic: From start | From latest post »
Jun 6, 2019 - 13:45
Synastry & Relationship: What is up with this relationship?
Sun Sign - SagittariusVunderFemme » Astro-Seek.com
Masha,

First, thank you for sharing so much of your insight. It has been tremendously helpful to me.

Second, to answer your question...

1. I guess I´m trying to figure out why THIS man was the only one I could fully open up to emotionally. I have struggled with opening up fully to my husband over the 17 years we have been together. I´ve posted my synastry chart with my husband if you are curious.

2. I want to find out how this relationship with the other man sucked me in so quickly and became such a massive black hole. I tried leaving the relationship 5 different times, only to be sucked back in by this man. I was someone that abhorred the idea of infidelity, and how quickly I fell into this is alarming to me.

So this thread has been trying to help me identify issues I may have, or at least better articulate them, so I can make the best use of the psychotherapy I am going through.
Login
Picture attachments are visible to registered users only.
(Log in)
Display entire topic: From start | From latest post »
Jun 6, 2019 - 10:54
Synastry & Relationship: What is up with this relationship?
Sun Sign - SagittariusVunderFemme » Astro-Seek.com
This thread has always been about me understanding myself better so I could let go of the other relationship, which I still can´t seem to get out of my head.
Display entire topic: From start | From latest post »
Jun 6, 2019 - 10:34
Synastry & Relationship: What is up with this relationship?
Sun Sign - SagittariusVunderFemme » Astro-Seek.com
No more contact. We have been in contact for very short periods off and on until May 31 when I told him I´m officially done. After the affair ended, I found out I am pregnant (unplanned). At first, there was a small possibility that the baby was this man´s, but as more information has become available, it is clear it is not his and it belongs to my husband. That, and the need for closure on my part, prompted the additional contact.
Display entire topic: From start | From latest post »
Jun 6, 2019 - 10:17
Synastry & Relationship: What is up with this relationship?
Sun Sign - SagittariusVunderFemme » Astro-Seek.com
Thank you for your insight.

We first met in person on November 30, 2018 after texting and emailing back and forth for a few weeks. We did get intimate on that date. Affair ended on February 24, 2019 when my husband hacked into my tablet and found evidence of the affair.
Display entire topic: From start | From latest post »
Jun 6, 2019 - 10:13
Synastry & Relationship: What is up with this relationship?
Sun Sign - SagittariusVunderFemme » Astro-Seek.com
Thank you for your insight. I have, indeed, been going to therapy.
Display entire topic: From start | From latest post »


Current Planets, Astrology Transits, Chart of this moment
Current planets
Planetary positions
Show chart »
Lunar calendar 2022
Moon calendar
Moon in Aries Aries
Show calendar »