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Virgovirgo_girl86 - User's posts in the forum

Jun 12, 2022 - 16:41
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » nutelina
Haha. Con-GRATS to what? :D To him being.. a con? Haha
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Jun 12, 2022 - 16:41
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » diavolul
Nope.. none of us does drugs.. he used to do all sorts of drugs to deal with his anxiety and as then, undiagnosed mental illness, but is totally clean since 10 years back. I just drink alcohol like twice a month.
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Jun 12, 2022 - 16:40
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » IceSickle17
Yes, he does. Some is being revealed bit by bit, some he revealed after some time, after coaxing, after me being very open and honest about my own past, but some of it he has blatantly lied to my face about - and I found out otherwise, and now we are on the verge of breaking up because of it.
Lying triggers me very strongly..
And because he has so much past baggage that he just sweeped under the carpet, he can´t really move forward either. He has been stuck and stagnat for a long time before I came along.
He loves playing the victim game as well, I feel like.. this is really wearing an otherwise strong relationship down.
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Jun 11, 2022 - 14:21
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » virgo_girl86
Back to this topic again:
Our biggest problem is his sun in my 12th house.. I feel like I can never grasp him fully and he has sun conjunct neptune strongly in his own chart, and difficulty expressing his emotions and adressing his past. It gives a lot of misunderstandings and trust issues.
How do you work as a couple with this?
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Mar 30, 2022 - 10:29
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » ZeinaZ
Indeed. Depression also feels like its the body´s way of telling us to stop and look - that we are not heading in the right direction.
Yeah, I have some work to do alright. :/
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Mar 29, 2022 - 15:31
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » Emanuel
What are the upsides or beneficial sides to Pluto conjunct my ascendant?
I´ve had pretty much a heavy feeling and very heavy circumstances in my life at least since 2017.. :(
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Mar 29, 2022 - 15:30
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » ZeinaZ
I think indeed there has been a generational pain of parents not relating to their children, and the adult children suffering depression because of it - and indeed unclear boundaries of how to treat and speak to each other.

Yes, I feel like voicing my boundaries and once again reviewing my own morals and how I treat others and how them treating me makes me feel is the lesson here. Right now, I either dont react at all or react with full force. I need to find a balance I think.
Also a balance between being super driven to the point of exhausting myself or giving up on everyhting.
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Mar 28, 2022 - 21:52
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » Datta108
Thank you. Yes, I have a very heavy feeling that I have been somewhat unable to shake since 2017 when I started losing people, its given me a feeling of gloom and not feeling safe, not even in my home environments.

Not sure 2020 was that good, my career and finances improved after a promotion in december 2019 and I started a new relationship in 2020 but its been very much an up and down roller coaster ride.

Thanks for giving me some hope for better days ahead though :79:
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Mar 28, 2022 - 21:44
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » ZeinaZ
My Neptune is in my 12th.. so they might be hard to grasp and form too?
I am aware that I have pretty strict boundaries it seems, and high values.. I think people have sort of shamed me for this by saying I am too sensitive. Well you know what, to hell with that. I´d rather make that clear and be too sensitive than feeling like I am being run over by inconsiderate selfish people.

Yes, well my dad was obviously a support in a lot of practical matters and he was a parent.. him and my friend were people I¨ve had with me all my life. Them dying is sort of an era dying. It´s really hard. My ex boyfriend who suicided was just a really nice, good guy, in every way. One of the few people I saw as a real genuine person. So yeah.
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Mar 28, 2022 - 16:50
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » nutelina
I definitely feel powerless right now though. :(

In march 2017 my grandmother died, in june 2017 my best friend who I had known since age 5 died during mysterious circumstances, we still do not know if it was an accident or suicide, in april 2018 my ex partner committed suicide in the most horrid way imagineable, my father went into a coma in 2018, had a major operation in 2019 and died in 2020, I had a lot of relationship issues during 2020, lost a baby in early 2022 and now my partner fell seriously ill and had to have a serious surgery shortly after.
Before this, I have been physically assaulted both by a former partner and also by a female friend.

All this is just crashing down on me, I can´t handle looking back and seeing all this behind me. I feel completely alone as well, like everyone leaves me and everything is against me. I know it isn´t logically so, but I am starting to be afraid and fearing life and making any more decisions towards anything.
So yeah. Not much growing or exploring for me for the past months - which obviously makes me depressed.
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Mar 28, 2022 - 16:31
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » Aren Levi
Haha, you have the same sun?
Well funny you mentioned that - I was going to say music AND sex makes me relax but just wrote music.. haha.
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Mar 28, 2022 - 16:24
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » ZeinaZ
Thank you for this, very kind of you.
Glad you mentioned both boundary issues - like I said, I started reconsidering my boundaries with people a lot and its been incredibly painful to me, but also feeling slightly paranoid because of it.. like now I am scared of not having enough of a boundary with people so I just assume everyone is toxic and out to betray me. I always felt rational before this, now everyhting is unclear. :/

Yes, my fear is being betrayed - but its something that will happen to us all, sooner or later, more or less. It´s how we deal with it that counts - my lesson seems to be that I need to more clearly communicate boundaries to others and also react more in line with what my heart really feels. I feel like I can emotionally turn off and tune out and just think logically when stuff happens - my rational mind always took over and my feelings were buried deep inside. And now they´re all coming back up again. :/
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Mar 28, 2022 - 13:26
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » Aren Levi
Yeah maybe, but it´s weird that I suddenly started reviewing so many happenings and people in my life in a different light. It feels strange and confusing.

Well it´s true that music is one of the few things that bring me joy - but apart from that, I question everything in my life right now and I can´t understand why so many people around me died and why so many others seem toxic to me all of a sudden.
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Mar 28, 2022 - 13:14
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » Aren Levi
Me neither.. but even my most positive people around me are worried about all the stuff happening around me. They keep saying things will turn around, but they have been saying that for years now.

I used to be a teacher - I work with law around information security for health ministry now. So office work that requires a lot of attention to detail, numbers, huge amounts of texts and broad projects. It´s not super stressful though, I´m pretty pleased with it but lately have been feeling that it´s a "dead end" - like most of the things in my life. I feel hopeless and trapped, if that makes any sense.
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Mar 28, 2022 - 13:12
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » nutelina
Saturn on my moon.. yeah. I have always been dispositioned to a bit of a bleak, negative outlook but I feel that´s from my parents being that way more than anything, I felt more like a positive forward-thinking person the moment I left home. Not sure wth happened after 2017, everyone started dying and I started seeing toxic traits from people I thought were my friends.
Like events that I just pushed back before are re-surfacing in my mind now and I am trying to work out how I feel about them and the people that put me through it. Not sure if I am too sensitive or if I always had a tendency to bury feelings inside me. Is that Saturn conjunct moon maybe?

Not even sure what Jupter return means?
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Mar 16, 2022 - 15:34
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » Rosincvist
Ok, I see.

But I have real trouble understanding how to interet what this finger of God is pointing to - moon, North Node, Lilith and Chiron together?
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Mar 16, 2022 - 10:00
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » Astro-Seek.com
What would a yod made up of Moon in Scorpio, North node in Aries, Lilith in Gemini and Chiron in Gemini mean then?

I do agree that I have felt strong urges and paths in life, and some things have seemed "unavoidable" to me but I can´t make out if this yod is related to that.
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Mar 16, 2022 - 08:53
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » Rosincvist
I seriously do not understand a single word of this :D
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Mar 15, 2022 - 20:38
Natal Astrology: Chiron in House 5
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » Catch-22
It is indeed - my grand cross is in mutable signs, but how do I interpret that? Googling around, it seems the general interpretation is that it would mean difficulty in focus and communication which couldn´t be further from the truth - that has never been an issue, nor was I ever what anyone would call a scatterbrain either.

Is there any other way to interpret this?
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Mar 14, 2022 - 14:11
Sun Sign - Virgovirgo_girl86 » Catch-22
What an interesting read, thank you.
Yes, the sexual tension and attraction is through the roof, sometimes it´s even a bit hard to handle.

What does the opposition of Sun-Mercury and his Mars-Jupiter entail?

I have thought about that Neptune in house 12 as well. He has a hard time talking about things he perceieves as embarrassing, and he´s embarrassed and guilty about a lot of things all the time, due to his mental issues. It causes all sorts of misunderstandings between us and a lot of suspicion and triggered trust issues on my part. That´s one of our main struggles. My gut feeling, intuition and experience of him is that he is an honest person at heart and tries to do the right thing but he overthinks things and puts his damn foot in his mouth and makes things 100 times worse by this. His anxious and intrusive thoughts makes him doubt himself and his own intentions as well, and that triggers me in a bad way. Hard to explain. He doesn´t have a good grasp on himself, if that makes sense, he was very lost when I met him and just lived his life masquing his true self. I´ve gotten to know the real person, and that´s the person I love. The more I get to know him, the more I love him, so my struggle is getting him to leave his fake persona behind and dare to come out of his shell.
But I´m worried the Neptune means he´s hiding stuff as well.

Yes, you are right. I´ve been with a previous partner who was extremely dominant (Taurus Sun with Scorp Asc) and everything in THAT relationship was about HIM and his needs, making me very wary about my own path and how to put down boundaries. So yeah, I have already made the mistake you are talking about, I focused on myself and my own desires, not even bothering to talk things through with him and get his perspective. He says I have a tendency to have already decided how he feels and thinks about things, not letting him speak for himself.
But we are in a much better and more equal, adult place right now after we both had severe health scares during february.
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