What´s going on with my pluto? - Discussions, questions

JayJayAstrology » Anna239 Feeling disconnected is more common than I think people might acknowledge. I think you have a lot of company. It depends upon our expectations in part - I myself have accepted that I will never connect in the way I wish I could - because what I want isn´t realistic. I learned that over time. What I wanted as a small child was not given - and that inner child still wants it. But it isn´t realistic for an adult. So, accepting that we can connect in some ways with others is helpful. Nobody will connect with us fully in the way we want them to. So, look for pieces of connection and enjoy that piece without wanting more - and that is a connection.

I do think we need some connection. We ARE here on earth. Even those of us learning to connect with Soul need some human connection - even if superficially. So, I don´t believe you need to feel like you can´t have any connection at all. Look for small ways to connect with people who feel good to you, and don´t have high expectations. Go at it very slowly and see how you can connect over time. Everyone has limits to how much connection they want - so you have to go forward with connecting - gingerly.

What do you mean - about the Moon protecting you from yourself?

Yes, you can say that we are what we think and feel - especially if we do not have an objective observer of ourselves. If you practice being an observer of yourself - so that you have some distance between you and your thoughts and feelings, you will start to identify with being an observer and have more ability or control over what you think and feel. This is actually a spiritual practice. We aren´t our thoughts and feelings. We are a consciousness.

Anna239 » JayJayAstrology Thank you. Maybe I just need to see it as a compromise on both sides.

I suppose I have just been feeling a bit afraid that I will never have any connections. And it does make me wonder if there is something wrong with me. And after I have given what I could to people and it failed.., and maybe forgiven when I saw that I would have to come back to the same place again. I just don´t know why I dont have the energy for it anymore.. and if I was to continue knowing that it could be the same again. But not knowing why

I dont want perfect connections really. I just don´t want terrible ones that can´t survive.

By my moon I meant that in certain situations my moon in virgo won´t seem to let me feel anything.
It is rather terrible even at times of being alone to know this effect could happen again and worse if I continue to not be able to connect/OR If I continue to be in the presence of people who I feel nothing for

I feel that I may actually need to be Less of a observer of myself.

Though maybe I give myself less credit here than I should

But I generally agree. I am working on being more "aware" of myself. My real self. That which I am unable to share with anyone else. Which connects to possible beliefs and spiritual/physical awareness

Perhaps you are right. Though we may have not had much love while we were young the future still has possibilities. If we can balance those with being true to ourselves.

* I should say also that I am just finishing a 7 year which I think has had some hard lessons, perhaps too hard. So I possibly need to get some of my old optimism back.
Because the last few months especially have made me look at the ways I have failed.
But also I just want to be honest with predicting the possibilities of my future.. I do think that I just want to work on managing my expectations but also not to diminish them.

I don´t suppose you know much about numerology? I have been looking more into it as I think that it may also help me

* A additional question I had which I have some confusion of thoughts surrounding is what having the sun in the 11th house really should mean?/socially. Should/can there be ups and downs in this department. Or maybe it´s not as socially focused

JayJayAstrology » Anna239 People come and people go in our lives. Very few remain close to us. I think most people would relate to that. We have to be willing to relate knowing it may be short-lived and be okay with it. This is the reality.

Sun in 11th will be different for everyone - there is no "should". The 11th house of "friends" are not close friends. They are people who believe as you do - have a certain point of view as you do - such as people who champion animal rights, or civil rights, or religious principles - or they can be a singer´s audience - they are often people you will never meet, but you still share some perspective or humanitarian concern.

Sun in 11th will usually want to do something that impacts the world in some way - even if behind the scenes - even if sitting at home alone writing a blog that others follow. The 11th house is meant to be where we fulfill our 5th house personal goals - in the world.

Virgo is very good at analyzing and understanding why something works or doesn´t work. If you look at relationships as something to analyze and understand, perhaps you can approach it differently. I think your fear the same thing will happen is natural, but you have to do something different if you expect a different outcome. So, some reflection is good.

We can´t blame the planets for anything. It´s how we respond to them. So, if you feel your Virgo Moon doesn´t let you feel, then respond differently to it. Analyzing your feelings puts you in touch with them - Virgo is totally capable of looking at them and understanding them. We are all humans who have the full spectrum of feelings. You do feel, but you may not be aware of them. So, this is why you really need to reflect upon yourself. It´s impossible to not have feelings - so where do they go? How do you stop yourself from feeling?

You know, you might really enjoy therapy. The time I´ve spent in therapy was very helpful in figuring myself out. If you find a good therapist, you might find it a worthwhile connection.

Anna239 » JayJayAstrology Yes but I have literally nobody in my life that I am close with to any degree that is satisfactory..

I suppose it has always been like this more or less. Of course those people have gone. Your right it´s to be expected. Just it seems more of the norm by now that I have lost every last person (perhaps some of them were hardly there to begin with)

Still I suppose I´ve had to realise that I shouldn´t be so hard on myself for any of this. And now I know what to expect for some time my emotional reactions I think are better, leveling out more. More focused on myself.

Ha yes I will reflect more.. Possibly with a good outcome. Though not everything can be prevented from happening again even if we understand why.
Though you are right, I have been able to understand my feelings very well even if at times I do not feel what I think I should. I think this will help me to get more in touch with myself from a personal perspective.
Though also there is the sextile between my moon and mercury in cancer and the location of the moon in the 12th. I do feel like I would/could be more emotional underneath the suppression.

Hmm I see what you are saying about the 11th house. Similarly to my venus in the 9th. I have met people that I did relate to on many issues, though it was not enough in the end and we were not able to come together with a common cause or belief.

JayJayAstrology » Anna239 You know - this is a very good topic and I´m certain that there are others listening in to your conversations with everyone. I do believe that everyone struggles with what you´re talking about to some degree or another. I personally had to come to terms with the level of closeness I´ve been able to achieve with others. By and large, so many people aren´t truly even present to themselves, let alone to be present to others - and relationships are so very messy and messed up. I think at least for me - what makes me tolerate life - is my loving relationship with myself - because people have only so much to offer. Everyone is fighting their own internal battles - and when you are single and all your friends are with partners and have families, they don´t have the need for intimacy single people do. I was never so lonely than when I was married - to someone who could only go so far in sharing emotionally or receiving me emotionally. I think when we have a soul connection - can feel loved from within and connected with others on a spiritual level - the need for friends to meet those needs lessens - the pressure is off - and you can enjoy what they do offer. Love, compassion, understanding - are all connective in nature. The more compassion we have for others, the more connected we feel. And that overwhelming feeling of love and compassion for self and others can happen in our solitude as easily as in person. The goal is inner peace. The objective observer I was talking about is one who observes AND detaches - from what we think and feel. The observer is at peace with no feelings or thoughts. The observer is our Soul - who is with us every second. When we quiet our minds - we can feel the peace of Soul - and - that is a great meditation practice.

There are no "shoulds" - at least, I do not think so. There is no way you are supposed to feel or not feel - you feel the way you feel. If we honor all our feelings, we are being honest and supportive of oursevles. If we judge our feelings or non-feelings - then we cause a problem for oursevles - a feeling of guilt. Self-acceptance is something many people have a great deal of trouble with. And it is so wonderful when we can go easy on ourselves and just let ourselves BE.

Thank you for sharing yourself so intimately - not easy to do on a forum.

Anna239 » JayJayAstrology Thanks again some good points. Yes you are right, what with all thr diverging personal factors and the randomness of meeting people who have issues of their own maybe not all of are destined for a "higher love". And then there are those who think that they are happy in marriages but only realise later that it was holding them back... *sigh
And of course this applies to family and friends too. It seems we assume so much growing up that we will find thw love that we "need"...

And maybe the question will have to be yes do we really need that and will we receive it?
Other forms of love do often feel less holistic and connected directly to others..

I think that I may have been feeling subconsciously guilty for "failing" and not being able to receive love from others. Though it has had little to do with me apart from my energy output and feeling comfortable with myself. Also guilty for feeling so at peace and like things are all ok Only when I am by myself.. it is very strange my experience

I have had to admit a lot of this to myself for awhile now.. unhappy truths they may be. That I feel Deeply anxious and uncertain around other people.

This is not entirely to do with them I know.. but my experience so far.
The future will prove what is true. Embracing whatever is the only choice. At this stage I just have to figure out what my anxiety is really telling me. To take action? Or to submit peacefully to myself. Or indeed both actions

Going forward realistic expectations should be the key.
I think that I have already come to terms with not having a family or many close friends and to have more people leave me even, I will work from there

Thanks for talking to me about this, yes it is a difficult topic to broach. Either to be the holisitc optimist or the unwarranted pessimist brings forth criticism.
It may be about embracing fate. And fate is strange.