January 11, 2021 at 10:42 (UT/GMT)
(Taurus) Castleflower
I finally figured out why I was bullied in my class. All these years I´ve wondered why ... I was in the hospital for a year when I was a kid. Unfortunately I had to repeat a year because of that. Those kids who made my life hell. Spitting on me, verbal abuse were the order of the day. Through Facebook I got the birth dates of my schoolmates who bullied. Their Mars Saturn Conjunction squaring my Ascendant.

I feel free from the feeling that something was wrong with me, on the other hand it makes me think. Could I have done something about it? The ascendant itself has no defense, does it?

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January 11, 2021 at 11:09
(Aries) nutelina
I´m sorry to hear that dear. But I think the ascendant is your identity, who you are. So I´d be curious to know you feel or felt like Aquarius in a sense, maybe you think like a Taurus and your emotions are like Aries? I´m eager to to know that because I have an unusual combination myself too.

I´m taking notes:

Node square moon
Sun opp Pluto
Asc trine Moon

When I look back I think first we are most like our ascendant, then when we grow up we are much like our moon an as we develop we go towards our Sun (and North node if were are doing a good job.)
January 11, 2021 at 11:18
(Scorpio) srgeorgio
Your ascendant is like your body.
The defense is to make your physical body stronger and more fit
but it can be difficult if you´re injured or ill.
No need to be too hard on yourself
They were in the wrong even if their Mars placement made it feel right for them to treat you badly.
January 11, 2021 at 12:31
(Taurus) dani_mae1
“ Could I have done something about it?”

You were a child. It wasn’t your responsibility to “fix” it. I’m so sorry those around you did not protect you, but I commend you for trying to understand and heal.
January 11, 2021 at 13:10
(Aries) Jay Jay
Hi Castleflower!
I would be doing the same thing - looking at the charts of my bullies. I do think you can get some understanding this way. Any planets of the bully´s charts to yours could be contributing factors - including Mars/Saturn to your ASC. However, it´s likely there are a number of factors, and you may never know the entire story.


You were a child. You needed to be defended by the adults around you. Bullying isn´t okay no matter how vulnerable you may have been - and - you simply cannot blame yourself. Unfortunately, the most vulnerable, tender and sweet, can be the easiest targets. I´m so sorry that you suffered so much. I´m happy to hear you´re embracing your integrity, goodness and wholeness - feeling free from something was or is wrong with you.

I think it is interesting that your planetary pattern - a locomotive - has Mars leading - and the empty space between Mars and Mercury/Chiron is the 6th house, Cancer on the cusp. 6th house (Virgo) and Cancer are more likely to be Victims, as they have the aura of wanting to help and having compassion for others. Often, people who have more sensitivity are targeted by bullies.

It´s also interesting that Virgo-Pisces is intercepted - with Venus in Pisces in the first house. Pisces is a co-ASC. So, you have this sensitive placement. Aquarius can come off as being "different" - and that is yet another thing bullies go for. Sensitive and different.

Chiron in Taurus - points to a feeling of having a weak self-concept. I think you brought this in with you from a past life. I always read Chiron with the South Node to see the big wound. (We all have one). Capricorn South Node indicates a wounded integrity - at the core - your self-identity was greatly wounded in the past life. It was probably partly because you were part of a group - an organization, movement, or revolution - and you gave yourself over to those ideals. This weakened your ability to know who you are on a more personal level. You are to nurture your own self-development in a very personal way in this life.

You may have been judged harshly in the past life - and you may judge yourself too much - you may have internalized feeling judged in this lifetime too.

Pluto, Saturn, and Jupiter in the 8th house - in Libra/Scorpio - does point to some pretty heavy emotional stuff in relationships. Mars in the 7th in Libra does point to your needing to stand up for yourself.

We cannot say that the ASC is defenseless in general. A person´s defenses are not something we see just in the ASC. We have to look at the whole chart to see defenses working or not working.

The ASC is where we meet the public. Aquarius is going to come across as different in some way. For the most part, Aquarius doesn´t have a problem in standing up for itself - but - I´d say that the Pisces co-ASC intercepted with Venus in it, is quite vulnerable. A Taurus Sun is not going to want to fight - but your Aries Moon would - as the Mars in Libra in the 7th. You probably had a number of conflicting feelings about how to respond to your bullies.

But again, you were a kid - and you were outnumbered. Go easy on the inner child.


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January 11, 2021 at 13:26
(Taurus) Castleflower » nutelina
Actually, I´ve always felt more like an Aquarius. Hirachies have always bothered me. Extraordinary, non-conformist people are fascinating.
Even before I got to know astrology, I was interested in occult topics that go in depth. That should be more a plutonic theme, but that also fits because my Sun and Moon are in opposition to Pluto. I only notice Taurus when it comes to cooking/eating. And i am possesive.
And I like everything natural.
January 11, 2021 at 13:27
(Taurus) Castleflower » srgeorgio
Thank you!
January 11, 2021 at 13:34
(Taurus) Castleflower » dani_mae1
I agree with that.
My parents did nothing to stop it. I was told to be qiet and do to speak up and it shall pass.

Seeing that synastry in front of me with harsh squares of my bullies is kinda comforting.
It´s could have been anyone with an Aquarius ascendant and was nothing personal. :1:
January 11, 2021 at 13:47
(Taurus) dani_mae1 » Castleflower
I totally get it.

My children were horribly bullied in school. We followed the rules and the proper channels and it just kept escalating till they ended up in the hospital.

I took them out of that school and they found a better one where administrators took bullying very seriously and the kids ended up finishing elementary school quite happy.

But I saw the toll it took on my babies and it hurts ME still, and I know I have to actively do everything to make them feel safe.

You’re making big steps and that kinda calm you feel is the beginning of healing that.

Very very cool!
January 11, 2021 at 14:16
(Libra) leorising
From what I saw from your chart, I believe that a key point is chiron in taurus in 3rd house, were you judged for your financial situation? I’ve seen a chiron like that on the chart of a son of a teacher at an expensive school, and the person had a scholarship and ended up suffering prejudice from colleagues.
I have mars in 7th house as opposed to the ascendant, and I feel dependent on that Mars, yours is at the end of your house 7, i believe that this mars is not the problem. what the user jay jay described makes sense to me.
I´ve been a victim many times of judgement of groups and managed to find my way. today I see people who were on the aggressor´s side being left out, and I managed to fix my problems without having to sell my peace within a group to survive, and today I am valued. I hope I helped with my testimonial. :68:
January 11, 2021 at 14:17
(Taurus) Castleflower » Jay Jay
Thank you for that deep look into my chart.

The past life connection ist interesting. Long before i discovered astrology my friend and i went to a clairvoyant. She has a gift for looking into past lifes. She said i was in prison for the most part of my life and they tortured my hands often.
That was fascinating, cause i can wether hear or see if someone cracks their knuckles in purpose, makes me sick to my stomach. I usually close my eyes and cover my ears, if someone does it.
I feel my North Node in the sixth house. Which makes it for a past life in the 12th.
I had goosebumps when i first read about the South Node in the 12th. Rules Prison etc..

I feel my Mars is pretty weak in Libra and squaring Neptune. I read some weeks ago, that you can strengthen your Mars trough trying to live the positive Mars aspects. Thought i could give that a try.
January 11, 2021 at 14:28
(Taurus) Castleflower » dani_mae1
I am sorry you experienced it from the parent side.
Reading this you did all you could. I am sure your children appreciated all you did for them. They know you have always their back! :79:

Out of curiosity, did you know the birtdate of the bullies and checked them?
January 11, 2021 at 14:30
(Aries) Jay Jay » Castleflower
I read the South Node in 11th. The Nodal direction is always retrograde, so it just went into your 11th house - at least in Placidus. However, I do see the possibility of torture involved in the past life. So, I would say, you could have been imprisoned but it looks like a shorter stay than a 12th house placement. Perhaps you were tortured and died . . . Saturn-Pluto in 8th house.

No doubt, you have Mars in Libra leading the locomotive and an Aries Moon to learn how to defend yourself, even if to your own inner bullies. Mars sets boundaries and in Libra - it sets boundaries with people or what people do and say. I don´t see it as weak. It´s leading - and it is the opposite energy to stop Libra interactions - which is also symbolic of enemies. It´s protective. Even if wars are lost - having Mars in Libra is saying, you need to defend yourself. That is a positive use - and you can use it by affirming your right to life, goodness and to express yourself. I bet you mentally defended yourself as a kid - or did you not?
January 11, 2021 at 14:35
(Taurus) Castleflower » leorising
YES, that too.

But ist had more to do with the profession of my parents. Also my mother liked to sew our Levis 501 for us.,you get the picture. :3:
January 11, 2021 at 14:42
(Taurus) Castleflower » Jay Jay
Hmm, defending myself mentally... i often thought "go fuck yourself" in my head. Does that count?
Otherwise i retreared into my books and blocked the Outlet world out.
January 11, 2021 at 14:58
(Libra) leorising » Castleflower
I hope you are successful in some creative field :44:, something with children? north node in cancer in 5th house, and have a source of income (moon in aries in 2) moon in aries is independent (it can only be a single source of income). sun in taurus in 2 can bring constancy in the resources. this is what I wish you luck :78:, usually people of chiron in taurus that I know start with difficult childhood and then become masters in making money. :44:
January 11, 2021 at 15:24
(Taurus) Castleflower » leorising
I currenty working in the health field.

But would love to make money with my art. :27:
I am making clay portraits, full heads like in the old rome. We´ll see...

Way off topic.. :14:
January 11, 2021 at 15:39
(Libra) leorising » Castleflower
the post is yours, you dictate the rules.
you have Neptune at 11 in Sagittarius, you can make money from your art. research about this Neptune, usually Neptune is that nebulous area of ​​our life, but if you investigate the meaning of Sagittarius it is possible that you untie his knot (decreasing its fog) I just wrote this post now, because you said you manufacture head, head is the subject of your moon in Aries, I found this incredible . :78:
January 11, 2021 at 17:19
(Taurus) Castleflower » leorising
Astrology proves herself again.. :4:

I find peace and joy in working with clay.

But my Venus is Square MC, i always thougt it is pointing to a dislike of my products?
January 11, 2021 at 17:27
(Virgo) RohiniMoon
Kids will be kids.

Kids can be cruel, yes. Could you have done anything? Doubtful that´s how kids are. They make fun.

I don´t know anyone who didn´t get some form of verbal criticism/mocking from kids growing up, everyone got it in some form or another, even if you were "cool".. When I was growing up it never really escalated passed verbal. So just kids being little assholes.

It´s always pretty funny to see how those "cool" ones are faring later in life. I find the ones who were considered popular/good looking, hit their peak at high school age and it was only down from there. 9 times out of 10, they were all fat and out of shape by their ´mid to late 20s.
January 11, 2021 at 17:39
(Taurus) Castleflower » RohiniMoon
Studious, very quiet and a bookworm. I don´t think i did something offensive.

That is so true. They looked very different at the class reunion :3:
January 11, 2021 at 17:55
(Virgo) RohiniMoon » Castleflower…

Can´t help but think of this....


Cheer up :3: :4:
January 11, 2021 at 18:05
(Libra) leorising » Castleflower…
on the contrary, as I have read here (astroseek previous posts in forum), squares are hidden trigones. if you work hard with your art, you can reap good fruit. :68:
January 11, 2021 at 19:37
(Virgo) LotusStar
I noted first Chiron in the 3rd with Mercury, this can show painful experience (Chiron) at school (3rd house/Mercury) like bullying and gossip (Mercury). In the sign of Taurus, perhaps concerning ones appearance or material wealth.

Also Moon opposite Saturn and Pluto. This is rough, the feeling of being a social pariah, feeling alone and unsupported, mean girls experiences. I remember going through this in transit in high school, and coincided with being bullied as well. But most bullies are cowards, picking on someone they consider weaker than them.

Which brings me to Mars retrograde and debilitated in Libra... This is a very non-aggressive and non-confrontational energy, unfortunately can attract these bully types because you don´t come across a fighter, you become their scapegoat. I hope you don´t let that anger turn inward too much. Perhaps a tough lesson there in learning to stand up for oneself.

I also note Lilith in the 10th house, this can show public humiliation or outcast / shaming experience in life. Squares the ruler of the 3rd house and sitting next to the planet of victimhood (Neptune).

People´s words and actions are their responsibility and karma. Sad you had to go through that, it can effect self-esteem a lot. Most people do experience some level of bullying in their life, especially in childhood, but some a lot worse than others unfortunately.
January 11, 2021 at 22:33
(Aries) nutelina » Castleflower
Right, so the mob was onto you because you were a rebel? To keep it on topic. :2:
January 11, 2021 at 22:55
(Aries) nutelina » LotusStar
Hmm I have been bullied but that was more because I could not be friends with just people from my class, there was no one who would be chill yet passionate and smart I remember. So I see Chiron in 11.

But Chiron in Taurus was the having Nikes and not having Nikes kids. :61:

Also very Libra gen to do. Everybody look the same. Whereas Scorpio gen is more black dressed style going to BLM or Antifa, typical death cult Goth :3: :4: Nah I´m kidding but sometimes you´d think... :63: :25: :44:

MTV (MasonTV) years!
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