Traumatic childhood - Discussions, questions

Scientiam Not much to me, but I´m like moderate level expertise in terms of my reading ability of charts.

If you take the sun as your father or fatherly energy and the moon as mother or motherly energy (or what they were "supposed" to be respective to their gender), there is a square between moon and sun, the "father" seems to be more feminine and pleasing with libra sun allowing the Capricorn Moon "mother" to take advantage, it can be more coldhearted due to different priorities and focus on financial or career safety, more like a cold boss and maybe in a little narcissistic.

Chiron in 9th house seems like a crisis of faith and meaning.

$th house Aries seems like fights for oneself at home, everybody for themselves. Whether actual fights or just tension and feeling like one has to fight. If it´s negative, I think positive manifestation is that you could have formed yourself a fighter inside too.

And the other squares to the Sun means some conflict with ego and expression and independent psyche/mind (uranus/neptune conjucnt) in you or father, due to mother because the moon is close to it too. That´s my guess. What do you think?

Scientiam » Scientiam Oh and people within the generation of Pluto in Scorpio have had abuses done to them or have abused others, in general.

JayJayAstrology Most people experience some kind of abuse as children. If it isn´t physical abuse, it´s emotional - and neglect counts in that category. In evolutionary astrology, we look at past lives and the wounds we have come here to heal. In a sense, we all come into life with a wound to heal - and to heal it, our families help us to recreate it. This is actually one reason I studied astrology - to understand why my family treated me so badly.

So yes, we can see it in charts. I read it in the Moon´s Nodes, Chrion, and often first house planets will be part of the early childhood story.

In your past life - Taurus South Node - you enjoyed a more pastoral existence - in nature or farming. Life was simple and good. There was a harmonious feeling in that life. You knew down deep in your bones that life is and can be pleasant. But, this idyllic life was indeed disturbed - something terrible happened - but it was couched within something that initially appeared to be good. Perhaps you were in a native tribe and the first white men were Christian missionaries, and it all seemed good, but they brought small pocks and alcohol and your tribe was destroyed. Everyone you knew and loved died. I´m not saying that this actually happened. It´s just the feeling of what happened. You experienced a deep betrayal. Pluto represents sexual abuse when it is involved with the Nodes. Perhaps those particular missionaries weren´t so pure. The past life symbolism doesn´t imply the abuse is family-related - but more social-related - someone else did the sexual abusing and/or betrayal. (Now, just for others reading this, Pluto CAN represent sexual abuse, but it doesn´t always. I´m freely interpreting this because the person posting mentioned it).

You may have had a very difficult time being able to process your past life wound. With Saturn in Pisces - you could feel a real lack of earthly connection. But I would think that you´d have good access to your soul-spirit. If you don´t feel this way yet, you may be able to develop a deep inner connection with your Higher Self, Soul Self.

Your Moon, Uranus, Neptune conjunction on the ASC does feel like you might have a hard time being in your body. Generally, Neptune on the ASC has that effect on people. Uranus is a symbol of trauma - but it can also bring a very keen mind, intuition, and the gift or bane of being different or very unique - in appearance or personality. Capricorn Moon is in a very sensitive spot there - you can wear your heart on your sleeve. But Capricorn Moon does not like to emote. It has feelings and emotions, but it really doesn´t like expressing them. And with Uranus and Neptune there, it doesn´t help in that regard. Still, we need to express our feelings to heal our childhood wounds. We MUST. This is something you will have to work on, if you haven´t already. The Moon right on the ASC is so sensitive, that you really need to have strategies to protect yourself.

I bet you spend way too much time over-analyzing, criticizing and doubting yourself. When you analyze, try very hard to not criticize. Try to understand. Understanding yourself deeply is a whole different feeling than when you get caught up in self-doubt and fear. Virgo does play the victim very well if you let it.

To make matters even a little more strained, your Sun is in Libra, 10th house - a very social house. You may feel a sense of responsibility for others - to be there for them. You need relationships to know yourself - to learn about yourself - to grow. Libra is a very sensitive sign - and it does not do well with negativity around it. It can become hardened and either try to control what is around them to make it more pleasant or withdraw all together.

You are only 26 years old, so you haven´t had your Saturn Return yet - and - it takes all of your 20s to release and unwind the feelings of childhood. That´s just the way it is. So, my advice to you is find someone with whom you trust to be loving, to talk to - pastor, counselor, friend. If you like to write, this is a great way to get feelings out more privately. Both would be good. Writing can help you access your unconscious feelings - repressed feelings from the past life. Write down your dreams too - because if you consciously work with them, they will also reveal unconscious stuff so that you can release it.

This is a difficult chart, but that does not mean you cannot emerge a whole different person from it. Our natal charts represent where we left off in the past life. The wounds we have recreated in this one, are the same wounds. When we have trauma, we have to surround ourselves with good people. You in particular, truly need to be around loving people. There is way too much sensitivity in your chart - you are too open to feeling energies from others. So, you do need a safe place to release all this trauma. If you are cautious in relating to people - this is a good thing. Make sure people earn your trust.

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My website: http://thesoulmustsing.weebly.com - I do astrology readings, dream interpretation, an mind-body healing by donation and workshops at reasonable rates.

Patrirdg » JayJayAstrology I have no words to describe my emotion right now. all what your wrote is completely my life.
this years I started getting therapy to heal from my childhood.
I spent 26 years asking myself why I was not enough, why were people always treated me in such a mean way. Why was my mother never there to me in a way that every child deserve.
But now I know that was not my fault , that I can help this little inner child to run laugh and be loved and understand that my life is not based on be slave from a past that completely took all my energy from being my real self.
I’m not what people did to me, I’m much more and deserve to be loved. Specially from myself.
Thank you so much . You’re a pure angel.

Patrirdg » Scientiam Yes totally mother focus on other stuff . Like financial.
Thank you so much 🙏