Severe depressions

October 15, 2020 at 18:31 (UT/GMT)
(Cancer) Zeleninka
Severe depressions
Hi everyone,

I ve been experiencing depressions since teenage hood. I cannot feel true joy in my life. I looked for professional help Several times but the sadness comes back again all the time. These year it is unbearable and think a lot about death and life after. I cannot see any light. I feel lonely though I should not. I feel misunderstood. I do see reasons being here.

If anyone of you is so kind to have a look at my chart. Is there something positive? Am I able to resume my life somehow?
Thank you very much for any thoughts.

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October 15, 2020 at 19:33
(Pisces) maltbach
As someone very familar with depression and the sense of isolation and loneliness you speak of, let me try and give a small source of light.

In a few years your progressed sun will conjunct your natal venus. That is like a long transit of those two energies that will shine your suns light on your venusian qualities of love, harmony and all things Venus. It´s often a time when someone meets someone very special in their life as well.

Depression is a constant battle and a very long road. Acknowlement it is a good first step, but maitenece is also critical to manage it.

Try to focus on things that give you some peace. Art, excercise, healthier diet, other hobbies. You need to learn to like yourself as well as love yourself.

Set boundaries with others and don´t allow negative people into your space. I know it always sounds easier said than done but truth is it´s a difficult situation and it takes work to slowly pull yourself out of it.

I wish you all the best and thank you for your post looking for help.
October 15, 2020 at 19:45
(Taurus) IIyyaarr13
The Luminaries in mutual reception means you draw from an incredible well of sensitivity!
Ever read a book just because of the author´s Astrological Chart?, surprising how 1/2 a page of grimoire can lead to reading a heavy Septet of books! :77: :82:
October 15, 2020 at 20:03
(Sagittarius) goldenlion32
Depression usually means you´re suppressing your emotions, thoughts, and feelings. I´m not sure if you express yourself out loud with writing, but this was a huge key for me. And also not sitting around Idle and dwelling on the past wounds and injuries. Overthinking, catastrophe thinking, deep thinking, and usually all those thoughts need an outlet and need to be expressed.

Whether negative or positive they just need to be out there. Even if no one ever reads them.

There is feeling lonely, because maybe you´re not calling someone up, maybe inviting them to do something, and maybe your waiting on everyone else to show up, while you might have to show up in their life.

Most of us feel lonely time to time. There are always times we are alone, but there is a difference between being alone and lonely. We´re lonely because we´re not connecting with others. While Alone is a choice to contemplate, self-reflect, or circumstances call for us to be alone and independent.

Sadness comes with dwelling on negative things and focusing on dark photographs, television, music lyrics, and hanging out in the darkest part of the internet. Maybe even darker themed astrology.

Emotions come and go all day long depending on what you´re doing. What your focused on and here´s and experiment. Go on You Tube and listen to different genres of music for the next day and see how your emotions change by what you listen too.
October 15, 2020 at 20:20
(Cancer) Zeleninka » maltbach
Thank you very much for your nice words and views. I very much appreciate it.
October 15, 2020 at 22:17
(Taurus) Iceblu333
What makes you happy?

What gives you hope? Looking at your chart... I do see what you mean about your struggle...

I´m a little blunt so this will be my last response because I understand you on a level as to what I know but not what you are personally dealing with...

I´m a dark person myself. And I just recently found out (due to not being in a routine working and being busy all the time) is that; people need something to wake up for. People need something to hope for... people need a hobby that personally makes them happy... whatever that is.

A friend asked me once, why am I not dead yet. I´m soooo negative that I can make a kid in a candy store want to kill themselves... how can I live like that... with such a sense of darkness around me.

Understand, I used to be a workaholic... I literally worked for fun. I did not party. Did not like people. I only cared about money and trinkets I could get.

And in regards to emotions? They were cut off, I didn´t want a pet, hell I didn´t even want a potted plant and still don´t. I had zero hobbies and I could count friends on maybe 1 finger because I could care less about faking that I actually liked them. I wanted money and that was it.

When everything broke down for me; Job, health, lover/fuck buddy, few friends that I did have left in different ways. I saw what they meant. I am not a fun person to be around. I´m extremely intense and extremely objective about things I want to get done. Nothing, not even god himself can stop me when I have an agenda....

They just wanted to party and play video games. I saw it as a waste of my time...

Still do actually...

But my point...

I had to find a hobby that fit my personality and also do something I legitimately liked to do...

So, I say get out the house and try to find some one to help since your 10th lord is Mercury (Virgo) its in the 8th house but in Cancer...

I say find a group of people dealing with the same problems you are dealing with and try to help each other.

Maybe you can learn ways to cope from other people dealing with issues that you are dealing with.

With Virgo and Cancer combo... you are a helper.

Maybe you can learn from and teach other people how to deal with thier depression.

But you need to find what makes you happy and what gives you Hope.

It could be as simple as watching a TV series...

Or going to Yard Sales every Saturday. There is always something different there each Saturday... and its cheap.

Or finding a market to window shop at. With the simple intent to just get out the house, walk and exercise.

*********

You need to build a routine that makes you happy and can sustain that happiness...

Find that routine. find something that gives you hope and happiness.
October 16, 2020 at 15:27
(Cancer) Zeleninka
My dear contributors,
I thank you all so much for time, effort and kindness to reply to my post. In this difficult life situation I appreciate every piece of advice. I hope I can find peace and reasons to be still here..
Wishing you all the best :-)
October 17, 2020 at 12:05
(Scorpio) amandaallansson
Looking at your chart I feel as if you have a big need to express yourself to others and the world. You want nothing more than feeling valued, appreciated and approved for who you are from others. So therefore relationships are an important thing in your life due to your north node, but also your libra in the 11th house makes you seek balance and bring people together in groups like a peacemaker. Even though you could face some difficulties in this aspect due to your saturn and pluto there which maybe could lead to misunderstandings of bringing people together or to defend certain people maybe? People might get upset over you taking the wrong side of things? Let me know if that resonates, I´m not a professional astrologer yet lol. But yes relationships are an important aspect in your life even though you might face some difficulties in that area. Getting to know yourself and explore your emotional depths on a deeper level is also an important aspect in your life. Try to become more optimistic and curious of the world around you, go out to explore a new area you´ve
never been to before or travel if you can. Learn about something you are interested in or get involved in any physical activity that you like. Your life is your oyster once you´ve healed your demons, worked on your emotional triggers and let go of the past and future. I´m advising you this because of your sagittarius stellium in your 1th house. You´re also a very sensitive and emotional person due to your cancer stellium in the 8th and your scorpio rising. So facing difficulties and changes in general is very challenging to you. You need a lot of time to process things your way through your emotions and a lot of alone time. Remember this aspect is not a flaw or you´re being weak because of your strong emotions. See it as your strength, because not many people are as connected to their emotions as you are. You´re one of a kind. Crying is a strength because it´s an emotional release of thoughts and emotions you´ve been holding in for too long. An energy that has to be released.
October 17, 2020 at 21:45
(Cancer) Zeleninka » amandaallansson
From what you described I feel that 8 th house stellium goes opposite direction than my 1 st house stellium wants. Simply I feel I have not gotten enough tools or energy from universe to fulfill my dreams, my mission - at least till now. Sincerely I hope for better days... Thank you for views and feedback. Definitely Ill think about..
October 18, 2020 at 09:28
(Taurus) Nevím
Good day!
What happened during your adolescence - what has changed?
Why are you afraid to feel really happy?
You will find the answers in yourself, try to understand yourself, accept yourself and reconcile with yourself.
No one will understand you - unless you let anyone understand you.
Astrology can help you formulate the right questions, but it also casts doubt on who we are.
We are who we choose to be, the problem arises when we doubt or do not know who we are.
Happy is the one who knows nothing - or not?
October 18, 2020 at 09:40
(Virgo) asya47
Self-knowledge classes save me from depression. I love reading books on psychology, watching scientific films about human consciousness and how to properly manage myself. And recently I discovered for myself a test to assess the character of a person. This is Volikov´s test. He 100% tells everything about your character and gives recommendations on how to change some qualities, and most importantly, teaches you to understand and accept yourself.
October 18, 2020 at 10:57
(Scorpio) amandaallansson » Zeleninka
I might sound a bit optimistic but you will find your necessary tools that are missing. Or you will find other tools in another direction that you didn´t intended of going at first. So never stop looking and try to find new paths or ways how to solve your problems of getting where you want to go. Taking small steps is the key.
October 18, 2020 at 11:56
(Sagittarius) Nacho
Hi Zelenika!

I can definitely relate.

When I look at your chart, the first thing I notice is that you have a lot of intense aspects between outer planets. Pluto Saturn, Uranus Jupiter, Neptune North Node. You are involved in very heavy things, and the weight of these things can easily weigh you down or weigh heavily on your psyche and heart. Know that your feelings are not vain or silly or unwarranted. The Gods (that is how I see them, you may have no religious leanings) have given you a great burden to deal with.

I think knowing yourself (as in getting to know), taking yourself seriously and thus not only with the permission but prerogative to feel what you feel will go a long way. There are no easy cures, for intense astrological configurations or for depression (which in my view is a result, and not a cause). But this way you may begin to stop feeling helpless and in despair, you can start owning your worries.

I admire you and, also, thank you for reaching out. This may sound silly, but is in my experience an effective short term medicine: when you go to sleep tonight and for the next few, pat yourself on the shoulder and caress it a little, like you would someone in emotional distress. You can be a greater comfort to your own self that you imagine. You have the strength.

Good luck and God bless! And you are right, life is good (when you said there are reasons to live)!
October 18, 2020 at 16:58
(Leo) tomdos » Zeleninka
Hi,

Im going to pinpoint a single factor that quite stands out, because I feel that may be the source of the problem. Yourt chart is not really that negative. On contrary, your strong Jupier in domicle in ASC should solve most of the problems - if supported with your proactivity (and I think you lack that). Though that Venus square may cause some disillusions that you may have not come to terms with yet.

The true problem and life lesson may the weak Sun/Mercury energy in 8th, and especially Mars without aspects. Weak Sun and unaspected Mars = thats a lot of male (animus) energy, a driving force that you probably lack in your life. All may look dim because the enlightening energy is not there. That causes the lack of drive to fulfill your goals, maybe even to hold on to them. That leads to depression. Maybe.

Im no expert, so check this link out, it can probably shed a lot of light into your situation. You should understand the language ;-)
http://www.neptunica.cz/samani-o-zt…

Good Luck. :29:
October 19, 2020 at 21:49
(Aries) Jay Jay
Hi Zeleninka!
With depression, I usually look for Saturn and Capricorn signatures, but this is not the case for you. You do have Sun, Mercury and Mars in Cancer in the 8th - in an intercepted sign. Cancer-Capricorn do not own a sign - the sign is within the house cusps. You also have the Scorpio rising.

In your case, it seems that having these water planets in a deep water house has put you in touch with deep feelings - perhaps unconscious feelings that you aren´t able to process. Cancer is indeed a very sensitive and emotional sign. You Leo Moon wants to connect in a very strong way - Leo is all about connection with others - shining in the world. It is in the 8th as well, but some would interpret it to be in the 9th house - which gives more hope. The 9th is a more expansive, extroverted house - where your Venus is - that is solid hope. You need to do Virgo analysis and that will help you expand and grow.

Looking at the rest of the chart, I would say that in your past life, you may have done quite a bit of growing and learning and made some pretty concrete conclusion about life that aren´t quite right. You may have been a leader who failed their following, creating some guilt you need to work through. There´s a part of you who is quite independent and is okay going it alone while another part craves social interaction. However, a Scorpio rising can be quite cautious in the social world - preferring to stay in the background. Yet you really want to shine (Leo Moon).

I think part of the problem is that since you tend to feel a lot of emotion, that you´re a little stuck in it. Your chart is saying you need to think about the emotions - not just feel them. Venus in Virgo is all about analyzing yourself and thinking about whatever is going on within you - to understand. You need to understand yourself. I would think once you begin this process, that you might actually truly enjoy your inner investigations. That´s what the 8th house is all about - internal investigations, uncovering what is unconscious and transforming yourself. You´re meant to do this work. It can be very gratifying as there is a possibility of real spiritual growth here. I have Sun, Mars and Mercury in the 8th house too! You aren´t alone.

I think you need to reflect upon what relationships mean to you and wonder about what mistaken concepts you might have in regard to them. Are they realistic? Is what you want really what you need? Do you have good boundaries between who you are and who they are? ARe you projecting out onto people and not seeing them for who they are? I´m just asking questions - and this is what you should do. Ask questions.

That Leo Moon can symbolize confidence, creativity and fun. Leo likes to act, role play and be in the lime light. You might be able to tap into it. The Moon is a big part of yourself. But overall, you´re more introverted - and the real work is on the inside. However, you need to somehow balance the introverted and extroverted parts of yourself and give them both expression.

The sign on the 8th house cusp is Gemini. The way out of the intercepted sign is to go through Gemini - ruled by Mercury - thinking. Make sure you are thinking thoughts that are helpful. Meditation might be a good practice so you can control what you think better. What would make you feel nurtured? That´s a Cancer question.

To me, the Jupiter/Uranus in Sagittarius close to the Scorpio ASC is interesting. Sagittarius is a kind of co-ASC. Jupiter is expansive and gregarious. Uranus is the I´VE GOT TO BE ME planet. But Scorpio is cautious - it is the opposite feel. It´s a bit tricky to work with these - but this is your task. Somehow, you have to allow them expression. So, you´ll have to be brave. Leo Moon is trine that Jupiter and Uranus in Sag. THESE want to express. I really do think you can do this. THINK about this.

I have known depression. I know that it can seem like an endless, hopeless state of being with no way out. But it really is just a state of being. Hopelessness is just hopelessness. It can lift and disappear! That´s hope. Accepting depression also helps. Right now, it simply is what is. It will lift one day, but right now, it just is. It isn´t the whole you, but just the one you are now. There is a part of you who does not feel hopeless. Locate that part of you and talk with her or him regularly. Journal writing can be very helpful.

It´s very possible that in the past life, you were overly optimistic and it went very wrong. Now, you are afraid of optimism - because it brought you pain. Yes, optimism does need to be balanced with realism. Scorpio rising will help you keep that in check this time. I think you need to take it one step at a time and try to let your Leo Moon and Jupiter Sag come out a little bit - and get used to it. I don´t think you´re in danger of repeating the past life - not with Sun in the 8th house. But, I don´t think you need to stay depressed either. There seems to be plenty in your chart that should bring joy, but there´s no way around your need to embark upon serious inner work. It can bring joy - the growing and changing - understanding it all. It has for me.

_______________________________________________________________

My website: http://thesoulmustsing.weebly.com - I do individual readings by donation and workshops at reasonable rates.
October 21, 2020 at 14:17
(Sagittarius) Bubba Hotep
Perhaps talking with a doctor could help.

With neptune in the 1st house.
Make sure you where you live and work is as happy a place as you can make it. Neptune is know to absorb everything around you.

You can message me privately i have a directory of psychologists who are astrologists if you like they range from 50 US to 100 US.

Uranus in the 1st house could leave you feeling eccentric or alienated.

Your sun/mercury is with Cancer in the 8th house of death. You have lots of water in your chart "heavy emotions" "death" maybe with covid 19 effecting everyone you feel the negativity of it all.

I would listen to uplifting music, get good exercise, sleep and SUNLIGHT. Stay away from neg people and places if you have to move to a new department (job) or if your family are psycho then get away from them etc.

Maybe get a pet (dog/cat)
October 22, 2020 at 06:53
(Leo) SilverStar
There is truth to this statement.
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October 22, 2020 at 21:30
(Cancer) Zeleninka
Dear all,
After few tough days I am here again, and reading all your comments.. I would never expect that so many of you, would give me a nice word, help and support. I am reading every single sentence with a respect and humbleness and would think about on how to use them to help myself. It great to hear that I am not alone and there are some good chances for me. Though the transformation process is and will be extremely diffIcult..
I wish you all a great day:-)
October 23, 2020 at 01:12
(Pisces) DreamyMermaid
Hello my dear,

I am pretty new to astrology but as I have struggled myself with depresstion for decades, I can link you to some helpfulm psychological recources.

This youtube channel is awsome.
I also joined his forum for a year and went through remarkable personal developement. He is a trauma therapist, very sharpshooting, his videos are as effective as they hurt.

https://www.youtube.com/c/…


And audiobook suggestions (audible):

Adult children of emotional immature partents by Lindsay C. GIBSON
---> It helps you understand and heal your past.

The miracle of attention and awareness by Frederick Dodson
---> It helps you understand your own energy and how to charge.

I know it´s very hard to get yourself up to actively engage into this hurtful matter. But don´t give up, it´s a matter most of us has to go through in order to become a butterfly!

Be strong and walk step by step! ❤
October 25, 2020 at 19:00
(Sagittarius) Nacho » Zeleninka
Good to hear, Zelenika!

I think about you now and then. When things are dark, light often seems like it doesn´t exist, and the way out of it seems "extremely difficult." But you might be surprised!

I have thought about it a bit, and you mentioned something in your first post about having a lot of ambition and wanting to get things done. That, in itself, is hope. Your problem is obviously not that you don´t see a point in the world, but that you see so much possibility that you get frustrated and sad! But you do have the power to act on these feelings, though I agree that the deeper the feelings, the more challenging the task, and the more thought it might require!

Again, admiring you, and wishing you well. Hope you have a good weekend! Life is good! A walk in the woods if you can manage it never hurt nobody!


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