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"Dark, moody, brooding, secretive, stubborn, defensive" energy? - Discussions, questions
"Dark, moody, brooding, secretive, stubborn, defensive" energy?
August 25, 2020 at 12:08 (UT/GMT)

"Dark, moody, brooding, secretive, stubborn, defensive" energy?
Where is it coming from in my chart...? Sometimes, not always I feel that it is triggered, usually with particular social encounters (mainly when I was younger) and family issues. Although I haven´t been very much like this for years I know that I can feel a very calm implacable resentment and stubbornly hold a grudge for years. If someone crosses me I will very calmly react but feel completely on guard and make it clear that I am not appreciating the disrespect or the offhand rudeness. (Of course that´s only when they´re completely out of line though, but I´m not particularly ahem. tolerant of that kind of behaviour) I know I should act or feel more respect for these people but I just don´t after one very bad thing is noticed 🤔
If I feel pushed I don´t just let something slide and if someone clearly meant something else I don´t let it just drop.
Could it have something to do with Jupiter in libra aswell? I have heard that this can make a person lowkey pissed
If I feel pushed I don´t just let something slide and if someone clearly meant something else I don´t let it just drop.
Could it have something to do with Jupiter in libra aswell? I have heard that this can make a person lowkey pissed

Posts in topic
August 25, 2020 at 13:12

That´s Taurus, Scorpio, and 8th house stuff, and you don´t have anything really important there.
You do have a loose, separating trine between the sun and Pluto, and a moon-pluto sextile. Soft aspects don´t necessarily mean a planet´s energy is going to express positively (talking about Pluto in this case), it will just flow more easily with the aspecting planet.
You do have Pluto square Saturn... This could definitely signify a difficulty with letting things go.
Libra rising can create inner resentment... Especially when the Libra person is always doing their best to accommodate others, but then does not find the same behavior reciprocated in their time of need...
Other than that, from your description, it sounds like you deal with alot of things in a pretty direct, timely way, which should really preclude you from building up too many resentments and such.

August 25, 2020 at 13:25


August 25, 2020 at 13:32

You may be on to something with that Mercury in Cancer... That could create a brooding type of mind...

August 25, 2020 at 14:42

I recall looking at your chart yesterday.
Moon conjunct Mars could definitely have a temper. Mars, the Warrior, is defensive. That´s it´s job - well, one of its jobs. It defends a person´s boundaries as well as is the DOER in the chart. Where it is will show what it defends.
And of course, the Moon represents emotions. So, Mars conjunct Moon will be prickly - a fighter - a defender of justice and fairness - defender of slights and petty slings upon your character.
Sun on Cancer/Leo cusp makes you super sensitive. You could be hurt easily. You also could want to defend a tender, developing Leo when young.
Libra rising, is also very sensitive - wide open to receiving what people are dishing out. If it doesn´t feel good, Libra will feel it and want to give it back. Jupiter there might actually - could - be nice - but Jupiter can judge as well.
I don´t know about Jupiter causing a "low key piss". It expands upon the sign it is in. It could expand upon Libra´s sensitivity. Libra needs feedback from others - like Leo - both signs are very interactive and relational in nature. Libra can be very controlling and seem very hard to other people if they become controlling so that they don´t have to feel the effects of negative energy from others. You could be keeping those people at arms length and hold drudges as a way to control the negativity that could come your way.
Granted, there ARE negative people in the world and most of us don´t want negativity in our lives - especially if we are the brunt of it. So, if you don´t want them in your life, you can choose not to have them in your life. But you pay a price for holding grudges. The way out is to let them go with a blessing - but choose not to have them in your inner circle. If you are busy criticizing them and complaining about them in your mind - then you have brought them into yourself - and - you´re stuck defending yourself - all by yourself. Not saying you do that - but - I see your Moon and Mars is in Virgo, 12th - so that´s a possible scenario.
You aren´t obligated to relate to all family members if they´re toxic. You do have to make peace with them inside of yourself though, for your own sake. I used to practice some imaginative self-protective techniques - surrounding yourself with light or a protective bubble kind of thing - these can work, if you find you´re in their presence. I don´t know - you could experiment. Just an idea.


August 25, 2020 at 15:03

=====
Hi Anni,
I see some things in your chart which could contribute to this dark, broody energy..
Major
1) moon in 12th - your emotions are unusually private, maybe cold but you don´t see it that way? You reject it in others? Perhaps you do not know how to display being warm, affectionate. I had this as a transit and i know in this period ppl also contribute by being secretive with you as well. You will drift towards open affectionate, upfront, childlike innocent people. And these are good for you to teach you how to express. :-) Anger builds up resentment esp when its not voiced.
2) mars in 12th - you work in secret, it might be difficult to tag-team, do group work with others. You might need to put yourself in the others shoes. You may give all but not everything. Your partner/s senses this... Might not trust you. It is easy to go from here to being not communicative at all.
3) uranus/neptune in 4th - uprooting not by choice but by other forces, out of your hands causing sorrow, instability, troubles at home which disturbs your moods.
4)saturn in 5 - the uncle watching you while you having fun.. Except you the uncle.. On the outside but inside.. The longing child.. You might find it hard to do leo things, having fun, being fiery, playful, relaxing and flirting , being a kid. you might do well to join a more exuberant crowd.. You wont be seen and can let yourself out safely :-)
5) asc- libra, your shadow side is aggressive. You probably see yourself as this very easy going, non-combative person but when the going is tough you might be actually instigating, refusing to patch up/solve/work things out. You cannot take your own word for it (against esp your shadow twin) as you will mimic their traits thinking its deserved! while they might mimic you (libra is their shadow side) so infact they might be v easygoing with you while aggressive with others and you aggressive with them and normal with everyone else. Role reversal. But generally like with all shadows just try to balance yourself between the two (aggression, passivity).
Also you are very humble, jup in 12th.. People say this is a v good placement for unseen help to you.. I see it as you are the unseen healer. (you expand into the unseen things ) egs. In daily life. you give mental peace to people, you soothe and calm others. you are spiritual. Your nature inspires people and makes others brave. In unseen ways you embody the spirit of life, and people are alive with you.
Your anger is caused by all these repressions and also reactions to you which are unwarranted. But i like that it shows you are responsible, you rather learn how to play than learn to be serious


August 26, 2020 at 02:57


August 26, 2020 at 03:28


August 26, 2020 at 03:37


August 26, 2020 at 03:42

"Except you the uncle" 😂😂 well to be honest I haven´t always found it so easy to relax and not take things seriously especially when surrounded by serious people or when social relations have not gone so well in spite of my whole hearted belief that life should not be considered difficult and we shouldn´t take too much seriously.
In fact I may have started to blame myself for things not being easy going always in my life despite knowing that it hasn´t always been my fault.
Yes also I think libra is NOT as peaceable as people think, sometimes when I feel people have "destroyed the peace" I think that there is nothing left to do to remedy things.

August 26, 2020 at 04:09

I think that the cancer/Leo cusp used to characterise me, now I´m not so sure. I think Virgo moon likes to "control"/protect me and filter emotions (along with the below)
Also the communication practices of my family hardly help.. they are very sedate and unemotional... not bad so much but just passive and unaware. Which means of course that I am unable to or do not feel I can or want to break past those boundaries which in fact become erected inside myself as a natural response. It is only with the few friends I have had over the years, who are currently not with me, that I have felt anything close to "being myself" or acting as I could otherwise do. Being with my family makes me feel cold and unfeeling and as if i am trapped inside myself and my energy can´t go out. Sometimes I feel as if this is my fault and that is who I am and I am unsure if I could be myself properly in a social context..

August 26, 2020 at 15:49


August 27, 2020 at 10:25


August 27, 2020 at 13:50

Also I´m just thinking now that I´m not quite sure precisely what you mean by "insulating against developing resentments"? Although I think I have some idea

August 28, 2020 at 04:03


August 28, 2020 at 05:33

I would say Mercury in Cancer is more cantankerous, with more of a self-preservation streak. I think the Mercury in Cancer mind is more prone to shut down and enter protection mode during difficult times, whereas the Mercury in Pisces mind would be more prone to escapism, fantasy, or just "wishing away" the problem. Both are sensitive minds, but both have different ways of dealing with adversity.
Mercury in Scorpio is probably good at penetrating the thought processes and moods of others, but not so good at penetrating and understanding their own. I don´t know how much their mentality would contribute to moodiness; they probably would want to project that Scorpionic illusion of "control" as much as possible.
"Also I´m just thinking now that I´m not quite sure precisely what you mean by "insulating against developing resentments"? Although I think I have some idea"
What I meant was that moon-conjunct Mars is more likely to emotionally act in an aboveboard fashion rather than letting things fester and turn into resentful feelings. Lack of emotional action and expression is a huge cause of resentment. I don´t see moon conjunct Mars having that problem. Although there is a possibility that they may emotionally react too quickly and intensely, without enough mental analysis and temperance.
Would still way rather have that than the festering...

August 28, 2020 at 10:22

I think it is your Moon influences and Moon/Mars conjunction in 12th house. It is a neutral aspect that may give vengefulness, frustration. That person has wounds caused of people (sometimes from mother) and it may give a vengeful personality depends on the house it stands. In 3rd house, it may give a very sharp tongue and that person takes his/her revenge verbally. If it is in 12th house, that person may be vindictive and cruel to people hurt her but doesn´t act directly. In your case, with your Mercury in Cancer which is known having strong memory, you don´t forget anything bad and tend to hold grudges for years.
Jupiter(12)/asc conjunction may give you a saint look, secretive personality which shows itself to other people well, but it also attracts their evil side. Libra is an easy going sign, she doesn´t like struggling with people. With the 12th house effects, she may escape from quarreling, arguing with people.

August 28, 2020 at 13:52

I definitely was not looking enough at the house position of her moon-Mars conjunction...its house position would mitigate alot of what I said about the aspect...it would mute it, and make it more subtle and unconscious, and not as easily expressed externally..12th house is tough enough for Mars by itself, let alone when it´s teamed up with the moon...
She´ll be OK though with her Jupiter in the 12th...

August 28, 2020 at 14:52


August 28, 2020 at 15:08


August 30, 2020 at 10:27


August 30, 2020 at 14:22


August 31, 2020 at 15:23

Hmm.. I´m not sure if I agree entirely about moon conjunct mars as it is positioned in the 12th house. Although I think you have made me realise something new which I think I have always felt is true. That I like to be quite direct with people. Yet also I can "store" my energy for awhile in the 12th house waiting for the opportune moment to release it and well I don´t know if that´s precisely "festering" but it is controlling. I think this is also because of both the moon and mars being in Virgo. I find virgo to be a bit of a funny sign though, and i don´t know if it´s just my mixture of placements and aspects of if other people consider it to be direct or indirect usually?

August 31, 2020 at 15:36


August 31, 2020 at 17:02

Yeah I don´t agree with myself either

I was neglecting house position, and only looking at the aspect...
Corrected myself in a post to Zephyryn a ways up...
Whoops


September 1, 2020 at 09:51


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