Relationship with men (general)

August 8, 2020 at 06:51 (UT/GMT)
(Aries) Hello jello
Relationship with men (general)
I´ve been intending to ask here this for a while, it´s a bit shameful since it´s not the best behavior/approach one can have. :24:
I have problem relating with men. Not here in the internet, where they´re miles apart and I can protect my identity, but in real life.
I could only be friends with friend´s boyfriends and never really opened up in a relationship (I rather be the de-attached one an it´s very easy for me to put a feasible persona) My therapist calls me the "femme fatale" joking :61:. It takes little to no motive for me to put up my barriers up again, yes I can be physically intimate, it means absolutely nothing to me, it´ll even let me felling angrier. And misandry as well as bad experiences with men runs through the family since at least 5 generations before mine. I recognize this is irrational and morally wrong but the dismissive behavior is still there.
Could any of you tell me which placements/aspects may be responsible for this? Also, which could be some insights to help break this toxic cycle? What Planets/Asteroids hide the knowledge that could help me evolve? :25:
Thank you in advance :78:

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August 8, 2020 at 07:09
(Aries) ram_goat
Read the Venus Aquarius thread..

You also have this placement..

and an Aries heavy chart..
August 8, 2020 at 07:29
(Aries) Hello jello » ram_goat
I´m reading it now, thank you :78:
August 8, 2020 at 08:11
(Cancer) Trevor77
You have Taurus Dsc, so you have very high standards in what you go for, you prefer the traditional ways of meeting people, you seek someone who is wealthy, romantic, down to earth, with good taste who will treat you to things.

When you said you could only be friends with friends boyfriends, thats perfectly fine, why you say that? are you being pressured by others to try them out or something?

Aquarius on the 5th house cusp aswell, is unconventional ways when it comes to love, maybe you need someone who is very different in there ways and doesnt follow suit?

August 8, 2020 at 08:30
(Aries) Hello jello » Trevor77
I mean it like if they weren ´t their bfs then I wouldn´t even had been nice to them or be their friend in the first place. When it comes to me being in a room I´d go for making friends with women while being extremely cold and distant to men, even if i could very well secretly like someone I´d immediately be wary of them and nitpick any slight negative trait.
Probably? I don´t understand what that last part could imply.
Thank you for replying :78:
August 8, 2020 at 08:34
(Cancer) Trevor77 » Hello jello
last part means you have different approach altogether, or being friends with men first is prob better way for you
August 8, 2020 at 08:37
(Aries) ram_goat » Hello jello
Uranus in the 4th House
Uranus in the fourth house creates instability in the home or in the family background. It suggests the possibility of unexpected changes and disruptions in the household. These people are looking for liberation from bonds with their home or they long for freedom at least in their privacy. Their household is often unusual in some way and it contradicts with family customs and traditions.

Opposition - Node Opposition Jupiter (3°05’, Separating)
The positive thing about this aspect is that these people are confident in their abilities and this helps them overcome challenges in life. Their life challenges are often connected with profound sensory experience and it gives people luck on their life journey.
The negative side of this aspect is that there is no harmony between the meaning of life and searching for its focal point. There may be strong internal dissatisfaction and excessive, unrealistic expectations. These people usually want more from life then they can get and they push everything negative out.

Jupiter Square Pluto (4°17’, Separating)
This aspect is often responsible for stubbornness and fighting spirit. These people long for self-awareness and they like to travel. They have revolutionary attitudes and they often become involved in religious activities. This inharmonious aspect causes friction between the inner and outer world, and these people suffer from internal confusion.

In a different category, sometimes we think we have "problems" when really what we have are lazy mental habits or rigid thinking & behavior.. Something to watch out for here...

Lilith (Mean) in the 12th House
Tendency to become a victim; cult of mystery; exploration of the suffering of others.
August 8, 2020 at 08:43
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Hello jello
System message: Post has been written by user Asteroid #448, who already deleted profile on this website:
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I think this could relate to your stellium in 6th house aries. Every single one of your personal planets is there! except jupiter.. so emphasized aries traits perhaps..consider males your equals. Do not feel as if you should play coy?

Also it could be you "appear cold" do you feel cold towards them? perhaps you are relating to their opinion that you are unapproachable.. But you are just anxious. Or body aware. Again all 6th house traits so you would be very aware of body language.
August 8, 2020 at 08:43
(Aries) ram_goat » ram_goat
So as with almost everyone who asks..

problems in the chart ultimately manifest as problems with the mind & thoughts,

and problems with the personality and the expression of the individual personality..

your chart will predispose you to think in certain ways and have certain emotions, but you also have free will to change these hard wired behaviors. Some things take more time and work to change than other things.

You are free to accept what you like about the things your chart predisposes you for, as you are free to change any of the things you do not like.
August 8, 2020 at 08:45
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Asteroid #448
System message: Post has been written by user Asteroid #448, who already deleted profile on this website:
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As in something they do is "setting off" this reaction in you with nervous behaviour
August 8, 2020 at 08:52
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » ram_goat
System message: Post has been written by user Asteroid #448, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Yes you are right ram goat on those aspects being responsible too. not exactly for me like how they define it. I have all these aspects. In me it manifests as a longing for stability, peace and constancy though yet I am unable to find it in people and through my environment.
August 8, 2020 at 08:58
(Aries) ram_goat » Asteroid #448
In me it manifests as a longing for stability, peace and constancy though yet I am unable to find it in people and through my environment.


yep you must learn to adapt. these things ARE in your environment, you just have to learn to find them. It is the universal challenge for all people.. different placements give different people different needs for different things.. but we all have challenges in this life.

Much of the time, the noise in our own heads, and rigid patterns of thought create a lot of suffering for us. It´s something we do to ourselves, and it harms us. Nobody does it to us. We do it to ourselves. Unlearning that is an important first step for many people.
August 8, 2020 at 08:59
(Aries) Hello jello » ram_goat
Thanks, yeah I think the same way too, I don´t think a chart is able to condemn or dictate the full extent of anyone :80:
I´ll keep in mind those aspects you mentioned and the effect they can have in the hard wired or pattern thinking and acting. It´s more of a toughness due to fear I could say, I much rather have a man be afraid or disgusted by me than inviting them to play with my boundaries, couldn´t care less about having a bad reputation in that matter.
But it´s true that I´m always able to change that... It´s just that sometimes the illusion of danger is far greater. I still won´t give up fighting against these demons either way, out of the comfort zone I go :61: :74:
August 8, 2020 at 09:02
(Aries) Hello jello » Trevor77
Very probable, I build up trust super slow :4:
August 8, 2020 at 09:08
(Aries) Hello jello » Asteroid #448
Thank you :68: :108:
Uhm yea, I know I have an Aries signature in my chart but I recognize I can be far more scheming than other :171: so being that way is a good approach to know someone else´s true colors, since past experiences with men as well as legacy don´t depict them having the best intentions towards women (just for the fact that they are women). I even prefer presenting as male in certain circumstances so they´d take seriously :61:
August 8, 2020 at 09:10
(Aries) ram_goat » Hello jello
there are positives too.. once you row your boat away from the negative habits, you do have some positive things you can develop, using the same intelligence you use to conquer the bad impulses in your chart..

Do any of your friend´s boyfriends resemble this? Maybe it´s time for some better friends? Is your group of friends conventional and stable and give you the ability to trust? How about the people at home, who influence you, advise you, judge you, and are closest to you of all?

Venus Sextile Saturn (0°39’, Applying)
This harmonious aspect brings responsible and reserved behaviour in most of emotional and social activities of these people. They are very faithful, conventional and stable. They need a strong and stable relationship that gives them confidence and ability to trust. They have hidden fears of rejection, and their self-confidence in their relationships is too low. Older and reliable partners give them confidence. They are careful and responsible with things they are entrusted with.
August 8, 2020 at 09:15
(Aries) ram_goat » Hello jello
I can be far more scheming than other

thats your scorpio rising sign..

scorpio is a mistrustful and suspicious sign..
loyalty is always doubted, tested, then doubted again, then tested again.. for most of your life you will feel this way about people. Trust will take others forever to earn from you.
August 8, 2020 at 09:39
(Aries) Hello jello » ram_goat
My friend group is very trustworthy actually. They´re my foundation in many ways, the family I was able to choose and gift life has given to me. With years some people left and now the knowledge we have of each other could even reach non verbal communication :4:. Maybe that´s why I trusted them "If my closed ones want them close then they must be good within them" :25:
I´m learning to be less co-dependent with my friends in the matter that I always had the impulse to have a protective roll and held their needs and feeling before mine. I didn´t like their boyfriends as romantic prospects, but I have given up on my feelings and initiative for someone they fancied too without telling anyone. I made some progress but still work on it, that´s why I want more friends or at least people to hang with and new perspectives. That could very well be that Venus aspect. Also most my crushes were older teachers so that´s 100% on point :61:
I can´t say the same for the people at home, as I stated, most of them are
misandrists but make up for a sexist Matriarchy. There´s the feeling of "I´ll love you as long as you´re a clone of mine". I think a lot of this may be found in my 4th house or is the 3rd person expression of this planets since my mom, mid-aunt and grandma are Aquarius Suns. But I´m also aware this was also a missperception of their teachings.
I have an overly developed/critical superego. I follow an Astrologer that associates this part of the ps with the Asc. so I´m trying to deactivate or calm down my 1st House placements as well as digging deeper in their motives and implications journaling. :81:
August 8, 2020 at 09:41
(Aries) Hello jello » ram_goat
Sorry I just put out way to much :23: No need to read it all :61:
August 8, 2020 at 09:51
(Aries) ram_goat » Hello jello
no it is useful. it shows your level of mental sophistication..

some that come here are really stupid or disturbed.
August 8, 2020 at 09:54
(Capricorn) boyakasha the guru
"runs through the family"

Actually...you´ve mentioned something of great interest, check this out. I want you to make aspect chart of your parents, both on this site: https://astro.cafeastrology.com/nat…

Keep them ready side by side. Once done, make yourself a one too and then put it next to theirs. Now run your eyes on the aspects one by one, first you do on theirs then you come to yours. I´m making you compare and search for a match. You´ve found one or two haven´t you?

The point is, I´ve found that astrology aspects are inherited from both the mother and the father by the child. They are passed on randomly, making it hard for us to predict which one the kid´s gonna pick from the two. This is likely up to god.
August 8, 2020 at 10:04
(Aries) Hello jello » ram_goat
Well thank you :16: :68:
I rather believe they just need help... great amounts of it :61:
August 8, 2020 at 10:08
(Aries) Hello jello » boyakasha the guru
Thank you for the insight! I´ll check the link now
I do believe that some things could repeat in chart comparisons and could very well be related to karmic relations within the family.
I´m afraid I can only do that with my mother´s chart, don´t even know my "father" name or face, let alone his chart :61:
August 8, 2020 at 10:56
(Capricorn) boyakasha the guru » Hello jello
I´m sorry for your loss, I just mindlessly went ahead with it there.
August 9, 2020 at 01:58
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » ram_goat
System message: Post has been written by user Asteroid #448, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Nobody does it to us. We do it to ourselves. Unlearning that is an important first step for many people.

I agree majority of the time what we think is done to us we are actually attracting that by projecting it.The general consensus is its you. I´ll change when you change.

One thing I am grateful for is I escaped the tendency to imprisoning myself to anothers thought frame and current level of maturity. I do love to identify yes but if I am to change something I know is wrong only when you agree as well to change it then I might as leave my body here to be you. Who´s living me if I´m now living you! The biggest obstruction to change is this weird word "pride"

Classic eg, I have seen people continuing to make a mistake just because they were now corrected on it. So now the mistake done erroneously is done on purpose. Or when mad they´ll resort back to doing it wrong.

After observing this numerous times I can say one human tendency is for people to react to being corrected like they´re being criticized, I´m not saying talked down to or insulted, I´m saying just corrected, by feeling shame/anger. The mindset? I´m always right. No you just don´t see it like I do, even heard whatever couple times??????? result is they either "insult" you back, or just become offended but they´re neither grateful nor do they change.

I´ve found its a bit odd to be bent on maintaining this false image that im a God-like perfect being,I know everything, and the right to improve is stunted by this massive need for praise and a godlike stature. Punch line is they then take silence or outright reluctance from people to correct them as confirmation that people revere them..nope they see your mistakes just like you do, but why say it out loud and argue again when they can just smirk and walk away. you lose objectivity in yourself and finally nobody is willing to give you objectivity either. It´s because you´re showing people that pride is your priority.

This word pride for me is the answer to every single action/thought that a human does that makes ABSOLUTELY NO Sense. The most ridiculous sacrifices, pledges, actions are done to save face or for pride. Changing becomes hard because if you dust off correction with a smile and a thank you how will people see their attempt to belittle you was petty too. This is what defeats us.

"Nobody does it to us. We do it to ourselves. Unlearning that is an important first step for many people."
August 9, 2020 at 02:07
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Asteroid #448
System message: Post has been written by user Asteroid #448, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Once again sorry for my tendency to essay-serise :4: :42:
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