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I feel like I’m a walking contradiction - Discussions, questions
I feel like I’m a walking contradiction
May 28, 2019 at 02:04 (UT/GMT)

I feel like I’m a walking contradiction
It’s as if there’s multiple versions of me. When one part of me wants something, another part of me wants the reverse. There’s chronic tension inside of me causing a push and pull effect. I think my emotions don’t match my ego or the reverse?


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May 28, 2019 at 04:50

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That´s called being a Gemini. As a Cancer moon, you might feel the emotions even more intense... I have a cold aura to finish the confusion lol

May 28, 2019 at 07:07

Gemini on the other hand sees things at a surface level and is jack of all trades master of none. It’s also easy to influence Gemini to cooperate.
I pretty much fail at being a Gemini.

May 28, 2019 at 09:45




Your Equal-House Mid-Heaven is at 26



Vertex and






May 28, 2019 at 11:02

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You’re on the Mutable Cross Soul Path with the Pisces Ascendant, North Node Pisces, Fortune Pisces, Ceres Pisces.
One thing I know is this tends to be quite aggravating because it makes you a servant to others on the Pisces/Virgo axis. You are always on the South Node washing away karma with others. Pisces is the Moksha house in the 12th, liberation, and this is what Pisces Ascendants hate about life. They are possibly ending their karma from many different timelines.
26 degrees means you’re working on ending the Pisces cycle. Pisces is the womb, and it’s kind of like when you’re in your mother’s womb, you’re in there for a certain amount of time resting, relaxing, developing, in this warm nice bath, and don’t have much room to move around. It’s dark. It’s lonely unless you have a twin. Lol Not much room to stretch out and expand.
Then you have Gemini on the I.C. 28 degrees, which can be quite about duality, polarity, feminine and masculine, maybe some gender issues, communication, messaging, writing, having two different approached to life. Maybe two different homes, two different relationships, divorce, separation, emotionally objective, intelligence, humorous, wanting to stay on top of the surface and sail on a boat and never look into the depths of the ocean. Want to stay light and have fun.
You have Uranus in Sagittarius and Saturn in Sagittarius at 29 degrees ending a cycle, and breaking out of belief systems, theories, concepts, ideas that aren’t in alignment with your higher soul. Screw conventional ways of doing anything.
Vertex in Virgo bringing in all your Virgo’s who you may be trying to perfect them while their trying to perfect you. Perhaps looking for this perfect world, perfect relationships, perfect career, and trying to control everything on the south node and you lose more by trying to control events and circumstances.
These are mutable on your angles, so your pushing and pulling while you’re adapting and adjusting through life constantly. It’s kind of like a Jelly fish.
https://www.youtube.com/watch/…


May 28, 2019 at 15:06

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You´re literally describing a Gemini lol... I don´t feel like one either. I view myself as an emo Capricorn. But the inner confusion, curiousity, loving debates... All come from your sun. You may not feel like the average Gemini, neither do I and lots of other Gems... But there´s still other planets influencing you, also take a look at your draconic chart. Some traits might not be as strong, or even absent because of that. You may have traits that other Geminis lack. Look at yourself honestly, look a bit further than the obvious stereotypes you may not relate to. I learned a lot doing so and am starting to accept my sun more.

May 28, 2019 at 16:05

Sun and Moon opposition Uranus has caused a lot of problems for me. I insist on doing things my way at anything. If someone attempts to restrict me in any way, shape or form, I become extremely toxic and degenerative and will do anything I possibly could to undermine that person. I burn bridges quiet often. I’m extremely self centered. I despise rules, regulations and routine. They are a threat to my individuality. So is cooperation. Why should I have to cooperate when I’d rather do things my way ?
Mars conjunctions North Node elaborates on that even more. Instead of basing my life others, I have to find my own path.
Sun sesquiquadrate Pluto, Pluto sesquiquadrate Ascendant and Pluto on the end of 7th house.
Admittedly, If I look deep within myself, I know that I have a power complex and am a control freak. I’ll only attempt to “cooperate” with others if I feel they can be useful for me so I’m pretty much a scheming manipulator... I really don’t trust anyone. I have a very realistic outlook on life and am pragmatic. Quite honestly, I only act in my self interest. I have my guard up all the time.
See? I’m inflexible. Too much Uranus and too much Pluto influence. I’m too erratic, too individualistic, selfish and too self willed which results in resentment of all ties and commitments

May 28, 2019 at 16:12

I don’t like Virgos. They are obsessed with the little things and are critical of everything. It’s as if they are never happy with anything.

May 28, 2019 at 16:20



May 28, 2019 at 16:36

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Do you have the right time, because Pisces/Virgo axis is service to others. Not that implies you are a servant, just that you work perhaps in environment such as technology, logistics, computers. Perhaps even medical or mental health.
Pisces can be working wit gas or oil as well, but in general Pisces tends to liberate others. Which is what you´ve implied, being independent with your Nodes. More about self, and teaching others to do the same.
Vertex in Virgo is just your divine appointments with Virgo´s, and correct they´re usually not happy with anything since they´re seeking out perfectionism in human nature, the world, and it just doesn´t exist.


May 28, 2019 at 18:47

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Sweetie, I´m a Gemini sun and that doesn´t sound like me at all, and you claim to not be like that either... Maybe, just maybe, you have a flawed view of what our sun is about. I do too, but I´m educating myself, understand which traits come from my sun, which I lack (due to other placements dominating or clashing with my sun) I just recommend you do that as well.
You are more than your sun, hence why not all Geminis are exactly the same, why some meet the stereotypes quite well, while other barely relate at all. But you originally asked where your contradicting feeling comes from: your sun. Libras have the same issue, but you´re not a Libra.


May 28, 2019 at 18:52

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Usually we´re more like our Ascendant in our younger years, and evolve into our Sun Sign as we mature along with our Moon.
I would recommend he take that human design test, because like me I have three definition split, so it will show how he´s conflicted.

May 28, 2019 at 20:12

I work in sales. I’m planning to go to law school in a couple of years.
https://www.mybodygraph.com/free-bo…
Is this that human design thing? I’ve never heard of it.

May 28, 2019 at 20:23



May 28, 2019 at 20:45

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Yes, that´s a nice picture of it.
https://jovianarchive.com/Get_Your_…
Take this too.
https://www.mbtionline.com/

May 28, 2019 at 21:07

Pisces is the ASC, but Neptune is in the 10th house, taking some of the softness and service aspects away from Pisces, and making it a more achievement oriented, image conscious fish.
Do you ever employ deception or misdirection to achieve your goals, or bolster your public image?

May 28, 2019 at 21:26


May 28, 2019 at 22:40

Sun opposite MC may indicate that you may not like the spotlight too much.
Oppositions are funny though. Although you may not enjoy the spotlight, part of you may want it. It would just be hard to get those two parts operating at the same time.

May 28, 2019 at 23:00

I don’t like the spotlight because it requires people to engage in small talk. I like talking about things that matter, world issues, things people choose to ignore because they are not comfortable subjects, revolutionary ideas. Talking about things like “What’s your favorite show” is boring.

May 29, 2019 at 00:09

Do you harbor resentment because of things like this? Resentment that you possibly express in your one-on-one dealings with people? (Pluto in 7th.)
"I don’t like the spotlight because it requires people to engage in small talk. I like talking about things that matter, world issues, things people choose to ignore because they are not comfortable subjects, revolutionary ideas. Talking about things like “What’s your favorite show” is boring."
I don´t consider that as being related to being in the spotlight. I´d consider it more having to do with your one-on-one relations with other people. People with Pluto in the 7th will often dislike trivial small talk, casual acqaintences, etc.
Maybe spotlight is not the right word. A more accurate term would be public recognition... or validation.
Do you desire either of those things?
I see things in your chart that say yes, and others that say no.
Sagittarius on the 10th doesn´t usually indicate someone who lives, or wants to live, in the shadows, and Jupiter in the 2nd may show that you value public recognition...and most likely the financial benefits that oftentimes go with it. (Regardless of whether any of this is correct or not, you probably stand to make your fair share of money through your career: Sag on 10th, Jupiter in 2nd, in Taurus.)
Saturn and Uranus on your MC may crystallize and electrify your desire for prestige and respect in the public eye, or at least in the realm of your career.
At the same time, your sun opposing your MC is pulling you to stay close to home... not necessarily your physical home, but where you feel comfortable, where you have your inner roots. It might be your family, but it might not.
Your sun, which represents your heart may be "opposed" (literally in this case) to the concepts of public image, career, etc.
On top of that, this whole duality is probably exacerbated by having your Sun in Gemini, which is a dual sign to begin with.
In fact, feeling like you´re a "walking contradiction" is probably due in large part to your Gemini sun, expressing a naturally dualistic energy, sitting right on your IC, the root of your entire chart.

May 29, 2019 at 00:15

It would be interesting to see a whole-sign drawing of your chart. Too many intercepted houses in Placidus.



May 29, 2019 at 00:55

People seem rather intimidated by me. Here’s an example; last summer I applied for an assistant managerial job. The actual manager interviewed me for the position and was impressed by my answers to his questions, however, he felt threatened because I had more experience than he did for the same line of work. I think he felt I was going to overthrow him. Also, this guy at my last job. He was harassing me. I got up real close to him and told him to say something bad about me. He backed away and was quiet the rest of the day.
I don’t care for public recognition per se. What bothers me is if I stay extra past my work shift, nobody says “Thanks for staying extra” or something similar. I also don’t like it if I work hard but I’m not rewarded. I get bitter so I end up slacking off and doing the bare minimum.

May 29, 2019 at 01:01

That MC/Saturn/Uranus and Sun/IC opposition stuff is still in effect in the same houses though, and I feel like that whole dynamic is the backbone of your chart, or at least the key to the "walking contradiction" stuff.

May 29, 2019 at 01:16

Still going by Placidus here:
Capricorn rules the 11th, so that in itself may represent some unease and feelings of restriction in group situations. Saturn also opposes alot of your personal planets (although some with very wide orbs) which could indicate unease in group situations or amongst the "collective" with Saturn as ruler of the 11th.

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