Spirituality and emotions

April 8, 2019 at 11:17 (UT/GMT)
(Sagittarius) Dekurama
Spirituality and emotions
Been studying Astrology here and there, mostly from /x/, which introduced me to astrology.

However, I´m still in a frog in a well, when it comes to male sagittarius with chiron in scorpio (why scorpio, of all?!). Like most male sagittarius, I´m apathetic, not the harmful ones, but it´s getting annoying, that I can´t relate to peoples´ feelings.

Here´s what the subject is about. Spirituality. In the past, I´ve been meditating every single day (midnight to be specific, void). Stuff went downhill after doing it 3 years in a row.
Recently, I was in a bus, sat down in the back of the bus. There was a woman in the bus crying. Me being apathetic, I didn´t feel a single thing, not wanting to mess with her, without gaining something (Hurray for humanity -.-). When I got home, I looked in the mirror, my eyes were red, as if I have cried.

Is it possible that spirituality has caused me to gain empathy while being apathetic? I´ve had a few people say different things around what and who I am, around spirituality and as a human being.
If there´s something in my chart that can describe why, I´d appreciate it!
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April 8, 2019 at 12:58
(Taurus) lnsabch
This may be of use to you:

Specifically the section titled "Cancer-Capricorn Intercepted"

Also check https://hniizato.com/leo-gatekeeper…
April 8, 2019 at 13:16
(Capricorn) CapiSun
Here is my humbly honest opinion.
Since you stated that you did not feel a thing when the woman was crying, that could not have been the reason for your eyes being red when you got home. In order to feel empathy for someone you have to do exactly that; FEEL their emotions. So the explanation for your eyes being red could have simply been external factors, such as the environment. It is possible that you felt her pain on a subconcious level but that is a far stretch, considering that you know yourself to be a generally apathetic individual.

Being a highly spiritual person myself, I am curious to know what you meant when you said that ´stuff went downhill´ for you after you meditated for 3 years. Only if you are willing, would you care to elaborate on how things went downhill for you?
April 8, 2019 at 13:30
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user Olenna, who already deleted profile on this website:
You are not apathetic, at all. You may have some issues with supresing how you feel, in fact you`re so good at this that it became what you identify with. The way you described yourself speaks volumes. Spirituality is cracking up the shell and exposing your feelings, that`s all, the emotions are there begin with. Of course this will create some problems in your life, it`s part of the process.
April 8, 2019 at 19:54
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user 1davidsky, who already deleted profile on this website:
Natally, I think what you are describing is most directly expressed in your chart by your Uranus in the 5th house in Aqua where it is at home by sign and Jupiter there while not conjunct expands that energy and Jupiter is pretty comfortable with Aqua energy. The Pluto conjunct Moon can express a little like a Scorpio Moon and being in the 4th also conjunct your Sun, should be way more emotionally sensitive than a normal Sag Moon would be but I think that sextile to Uranus is transferring that energy to Uranus (notoriously unemotional and here in the 5th not especially emotionally itself) so giving Uranus the power over the Sun Moon Pluto conjunction and sounds like it´s bringing out of the Scorpio Moon energy that aspect of it that is secretive of its own feelings. Due to that conjunction, emotions may well be extraordinarily threatening to you guessing due to the 4th house (IC) position could be unconscious but a feeling that could be of some existential threat when strong emotion is felt as that Pluto wants to kick in and take your Moon (unconscious, soul) and Sun (consciousness, awareness, ego self) down into some deep emotional place that would swamp your ... being may not be too strong a word for this Sun Moon conjunction in the 4th there? I feel like what this is, is related to your Chiron conjunct the IC so something from childhood possibly involving siblings or else someone in the neighborhood who would have been abusive to you as a child and this could be when very young and something that is now unavailable to your conscious self ?
April 8, 2019 at 19:58
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » 1davidsky
System message: Post has been written by user 1davidsky, who already deleted profile on this website:
also FYI right now you have Saturn and Pluto on your Mars and Venus and they will be retrograding and in January 2020 exactly conjuncting at 22 degrees Cap but they will be activating Mars and Venus by transit all the while and have been doing so for sometime now so that´s pretty powerful energy. Also, I feel like Uranus transits are and will also be very powerful in your life as would be Pluto and when either is activated by a significant transit, that dynamic of their sextile will be activated as well ultimately involving Plutonic transformations
April 8, 2019 at 21:17
(Sagittarius) Dekurama » 1davidsky
Pretty spot on with the chiron ^^. Had forgotten that exact period.

As for "energy", any explanation for what this is?

For me, energy would be ´amount of effort´.
April 8, 2019 at 21:20
(Sagittarius) Dekurama
Around the first three people: A shard of apathy, then, I don´t feel the emotions, I don´t know how to describe feelings, I don´t know how to relate, no matter how much I dig, there won´t be any treasure for them
Downhill in meditation:
(the cause was probably, to go past the massive and long marble wall?)

This is what I would personally describe as "You need to see it to believe it". I accidentally unlocked the third eye (hurray, some may say), unlocking the past, present and future timeline. This worked, and still partly does. However. I knew people had disturbing "encounters" with meditation, the shadow people. My primary "group" of shadow people, would be the Hat-man (human form and shadow form). The dread of encountering that thing was immense. I could later actively encounter him if I wanted to.
To make it worse, I had encounters with the shadow people, while being outside. I see shadows where shadows shouldn´t be, a full shadow of a human.. without a human, which later a house burned down (dirt unlucky?)
Then I had a pause for a few weeks, then went back to meditating.
It got worse, I "ended" up in a forest, it was snowing (while meditating), a group of old men were hunting me, same horrible feeling of dread / death coming for me. It´s still vividly existing in my head to be able to identify the old men if I were given a picture.

[Past, present and future meditation: I had more "fun" with it, as present could be used over a great distance. Future had a maximum of 6 months into the future]

I´m not able to close my third eye, so I still see shadows here and there, even though I´ve stopped meditation. I still feel dread when I walk alone in a forest.

I did not have a guide for meditation, I only recently found out that meditation had several layers to it, including "mystic & void".
-> Void = The void when meditating, a complete nothingness of nothing, you don´t even exist, you are just there.
April 8, 2019 at 22:27
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » 1davidsky
System message: Post has been written by user 1davidsky, who already deleted profile on this website:
by "energy" I mean the particular expression of that planet, house and sign as it is expressed in your chart (life)
April 9, 2019 at 00:22
(Taurus) IIyyaarr13
Spirit and Soul can have different agendas.
Your heliocentric Earth/Moon conjunction are in early :173: being basically a kid and not Mother Theresa! :45: :30: :34: :27: :5: :4: :1:
April 9, 2019 at 01:16
(Capricorn) CapiSun » Dekurama
Thank you for sharing your experience. I understand your plight. It sounds like you have had an unfortunate brush with the dark side of spirituality. It is always important to protect yourself when walking down a spiritual path.. as there are always negative spirits around, looking for ways to get into your energy field and wreak havoc.

Sounds like you left yourself wide open to psychic attack and negative energy. You don´t need to close your third eye, you just need psychic protection, cleansing and binding of these spirits/shadow people. I would recommend burning some white sage to cleanse yourself and your home.. And to strongly affirm that you no longer allow these energies around you.

It may take some time, but if you are consistent, and strong in your INTENT and WILL to rid yourself of this energy, it should go away. We as humans always have dominion over evil spirits and negative energy. If you allow them to stay they will stay, and if you command them to leave, they have to go. Period.
April 9, 2019 at 09:53
(Sagittarius) Dekurama » CapiSun
I don´t think it is ´wide open´, as my family has also had unfortunate encounters with the shadow people (My grandfather experiences sleep paralysis, my mother has recently been encountering the hat-man in her dreams, every so often.

As for protection, I think my 2nd ego (female voice), has generated sigils or wards that has been imprinted in my mind (picture for reference).

As for meditation currently, I have been "blocked" out of my ´void´ and I can´t get anything done, except for staring at my internal ´door´, any ideas?
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April 9, 2019 at 10:06
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Dekurama
System message: Post has been written by user spiral, who already deleted profile on this website:
Me and my sister´s friend have seen a "hat-man" when we were kids. I dont talk about this because no one believes.

Be careful about the female voice.
April 9, 2019 at 13:58
(Capricorn) CapiSun » Dekurama
I am not sure of what kind of meditation you are doing..as I have never even heard of a ´void´ in meditating; but from the sounds of it, you may have unknowingly opened a door for darker entities to come through. This female voice that you speak of is questionable..and I would be weary of it if I were you.

As far as your family experiencing similar issues, it is not uncommon for negative forces to plague a generation until it is broken or binded. It is possible that your whole family may need spiritual cleansing and psychic protection. The sigil that was imprinted in your mind could be related in some way to these negative entities, or may not even mean anything..depending on how you felt when you saw it.

I sincerely hope that things get better for you. As far as birth charts go, I still have a lot to learn myself in this area, but I am sure other users with more knowledge and experience in reading birth charts can offer you more insight on how these experiences may relate to certain areas in your chart.

Peace and love. :79:
April 9, 2019 at 17:57
(Sagittarius) Dekurama » CapiSun
´Void´, imagine meditating deeply. And go three or four times deeper. It´s very relaxing. However, I´ve been reading that ´my´ meditation technique (Burn every single thought, every single piece of information binding you to the present and future. An absolute peace.

As far as the female voice, it was a lovely voice, my guess at the time would be fitting to a woman around 34 years old.

The sigil shown above was a "key" at first. It was part of a mind game around a gate + sockets. These sockets required a colored orb (later found out it was around emotions), ended up opening the door, just to see the other door (medieval double door, edge made out of stones). Haven´t figured out what the door is about.

As far as shadow people, I have a slight interest in trying to communicate with them, too, even with the dread. Because, if they exist, there must be a reason behind what they are doing "here".
April 9, 2019 at 21:39
(Capricorn) CapiSun » Dekurama
Yes, there most definitely is a reason for why these shadow people/spirits are here, and I can bet my on my breath that it isn´t for a good reason. You know how they say that curiousity killed the cat? Just be careful when trying to communicate with these things..I wouldn´t recommend it.

Your feeling of dread is a major red flag from your intuition that shouldn´t be ignored. I would try to learn as much as I can about these types of entities, and the best way to communicate with them without opening yourself to further infestation if I were you. I strongly advise against it though..but you will do as you wish. Just be careful.

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