Why do I have paradoxical feelings regarding my public image ? - Discussions, questions

ram_goat A common problem with NN Leo.

Another famous NN Leo person who had a similar problem: Princess Diana

Also, particularly apropos for your personality:

Opposition - Node Opposition Uranus (2°15’, Separating)

The negative side of this aspect is that these people want to live the way they like and according to their own rules. They feel a constant painful gap between their need for independence and freedom and the challenges they face in their lives. It is very difficult for them to concentrate on what is really important.

Astro-Seek.com System message: Post has been written by user Seanfhear, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Do you always feel like that? or it´s just this event?
Honestly, I checked the transits chart for you (Whole Sign system) and I couldn´t figure out anything EXCEPT for one thing but I´m really doubtful about it and this is Venus in your 12th house in Scorpio.

Venus in a female´s natal chart, unlike male´s chart, reflects one side of the nature of the female herself. Thus, if we take this concept up to the transits, it might as well suggest a desire to be hidden (scorpio/12H).

As I´m typing this, I´ve also checked your 8th house, in cancer which is ruled by the moon and the moon is also representative for the mind and mood, and it is in your 4th house, the house of, well, house! Your 4th house is also in pisces, the sign of imagination and endings; I feel like your moon (mind) is numb in some way at the moment and this would take place for 1 or 2 days till the moon leaves pisces maybe.

Do you think any of that clicks with what you´re thinking?

Etherealmind » Jaided I think there must be a lot about these aspects yes. Besides, Pluto gives a slight paranoid side lol.

Thank you for confirming my impressions :):) always interesting to have a 2nd opinion!!

Etherealmind » ram_goat I don´t feel like my Uranus 180 NN may be the problem cause it´s not really about not wanting to make the speech it´s just a bit unstable/complex for me to know which side I want. Showing what I do (so public) or staying behind the curtains and on this dilemma I can recognize maybe a bit my Aqua-Leo lunar nodes, indeed.

Etherealmind » Seanfhear Do you always feel like that? or it´s just this event?

NOT ALWAYS but it´s OFTEN a dilemma within me so I feel like it´s more smth part of my personality than current transits.

Astro-Seek.com » Etherealmind System message: Post has been written by user Seanfhear, who already deleted profile on this website:
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in that case then I guess the focus should be on your natal chart away from the transits - see and study 1H, 7H, 10H and 11H (hehe I would maybe add 3H since it´s communication).

Etherealmind » Seanfhear Well, I feel like life is kinda forcing me to face my desires, objectives and fears at the same time. I´ll face them even if I don´t like the idea so much lol.

Do you think it´s because of my Virgo Sun square Sagittarius ASC-Pluto ?

My ASC-PL is also trine my Leo NN ...

Catch-22 All is projection.

Unless some crowd laughed at you after a public speech it´s all in your mind. ASC looks pretty good explanation to me.

Etherealmind » Catch-22 Nobody laughed at me after a public speech. Never

There must be smth with I´m pretty sure and maybe too but I´m not so sure about it compared to Pluto. I see more as my soul desires not deep complex thoughts regarding my pluto lol.

Astro-Seek.com » Etherealmind System message: Post has been written by user Seanfhear, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Many astrologers I follow get perplexed about Pluto. Anyway, I would put it aside for the time being and focus on Saturn, Rahu, Ketu, and probably the Moon as well.

Emanuel Maybe unconscious low self esteem (like me)?

Or maybe you want to be in the shadow because unconsciously you think that people "wouldnt get it", that people are superficial and cant understand you (like Arthur in the Joker movie). The Brilliant Outsider Aquarius Syndrome?

Catch-22 » Etherealmind So we agree it´s your own self perception?

That´s the good news, because you can´t change the people that will listen to your speech, but you can change yourself.

Veri935 Yeah I get this too much I have Venus in my 12th using whole signs, and my sun, moon and mercury in the 11th. So confusing. I do really like people but also need a lot of me time, maybe unusual amounts, I don’t know.. though I’d say that I’m a extrovert

I think that you could have a very similar situation to mine, first your a Sag asc too and also you have social air with Aqua, but then also you have Mars in the 12th and using whole signs three planets inc your moon in the third and your sun in the 10th. So your drive is with Mars in the 12th but then your mind and ego are socially oriented

Etherealmind » Veri935 "So your drive is with Mars in the 12th but then your mind and ego are socially oriented."

Hmmmmm it may be yes. I feel like there must be smth about scorpio energies in my chart (8th house, pluto, mars, scorpio) and how they create aspects with my others planets.

I hadn´t had this feeling since a long time but I think it´s still something being part of me. It just appears more at some moments in my life.

Other than that I relate more to placidus house system :):)

Veri935 » Etherealmind Ok, well if you follow the newest method of reading astrology charts you do have two personal planets in the 8th which would be more than enough to have a conflicted self image/feeling of dissonance with communication. That’s some Intense energy to deal with. With these placements I’d say that even more keenly you would feel the need to isolate yourself from society, feel conflicted whenever you are being social

Not that this has to remain like this forever

I had just thought that maybe having 3rd and 10th house placements would explain your alternate desire to communicate

AmberMoon » Etherealmind Yes, do that. Face the stage.

The biggest spotlight is the sun.
Your image is the Asc.
And there is a square between them.

I have it in opposition. Things improved when I stopped running.

Etherealmind I´d like to give you guys a little feedback about the 2 days of public speeches haha.

Well, it was actually pretty good. I was not really stressed/anxious on stage cause I had prepared my text on a sheet of paper so I had smth to "guide" me and not get lost in my speech so everything was okay on stage :):) I dared to do it even more easily than the organizer of the event who hadn´t prepared his speech so well

After my speech I could
talk to lots of people so I was sometimes very talkative and funny/interesting but I was also sometimes more observing people from a discreet spot.

I´m sociable/talkative and like having fun but I´m also sometimes looking for more discreet atmosphere and having deeper conversations.

Astrooo » Etherealmind Interesting Question regarding to your birth chart,

1a / The 3 Houses of the "Secret" = 4/8/12

1b / You have tools on H8/H12 + Masters of H4 in H12 (Mars / Pluto)

1a + 1b = you have tools to be secret (consciously or unconsciously)

2 / Pluto almost ASC (But H12 nevertheless = you are connected with astral World) = you will escape Pluto by going towards H6 / H7.
H7 = Gemeaux = Communications "with no other objective than to experience the pleasure of discussing".
= Your relationship with the Other is more in the pleasure of the exchange than in the construction.

PS: H6 : Taurus ( Cf H2, natural House of Taurus, where you have Stellium)

3 / To "build the relation", you will slide towards your Sun H9, House of your Master of ascendant Jupiter in H5 ("natural" House of the Sun Leo) + Master of H6 (House of "labour" in your natal chart: Venus H8.

Attention point: Venus Leo retrogade H8 = Be careful not to fall victim to the natural magnetism of a Venus Leo H8
= Exaggerations in the instinct of possession/depossession (material, sexual)

One of the challenges of your theme is to escape a specialization (whatever the subject) and to open up to the different facets of the field that you want to invest.

For that, Life will ask you to learn to build / deconstruct.

Otherwise, the risk for you will be to sclerose yourself in your comfort zone (specially for Virgo Sun who love to live below its potentials) and finally to "die" for fear of the regenerative Death, that of Pluto.

But with Black Pluto-Moon conjunct to the ascendant, you will learn to "die" (= evolve / metamorphose in the sense of the 8th House, that of Scorpio and hystolise) to gradually reveal your pearl of light (which everyone has in themselves).

At the end, i remember this sentence:

"You are like a God and you were begotten for more transformations than those of the Gods and with a more perfect created form"

Egyptian book of the dead - chapter CLXX