Will I never have any friends/or family?

July 24, 2021 at 12:38 (UT/GMT)
(Leo) Anni23
Will I never have any friends/or family?
Is there anything in my chart that may point to being alone for my entire life? If so.. I suppose it could be ok. But it could take some accepting

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July 24, 2021 at 13:16
(Leo) cubic
As I was suspecting you have a Moon in 12th, just like me.

"The Moon in the twelfth house creates loners who sometimes have the need to move away from everyday life. These people usually do not find emotional stability in personal relationships and they often feel lonely. "

"They are not able to express themselves well because their emotions are often confused. The Moon in the twelfth house emphasises that these people will feel secure only when they distance themselves from others. "

https://barbarapijan.com/bpa/…

Chandra = Moon
Bhava = House

"The inherent interiority of the Chandra-12 native may, in any case, lead to a lifetime spent in the sanctuary of prayer, and a dispreference for marriage overall. "

It all sounds kinda dark, but at 35 I can attest that a lot of relationships have bought more than the normal cup of instability for me personally, so even though I crave them like any regular human being, and I´ve enjoyed quite deep and mutually satisfactory relationships, life seems overall best for me when I do not have a close relationship and I am on my own.

However I know also from experience that there are certain type of people that are absolutely fine with all that regular distancing and need to go away, and everything else. Really it seems to somehow dovetail with their own personalities. They also have to be somewhat low key emotionally I guess to not become overwhelming. Think of Aqua Moons for instance or someone with similar profile. Or the synastry with them has to be on the calmer and steady side.

Also from the Vedic I can attest that Mate1 profile and outcome is as described. It can be aleviated if they do some people helping thing/job on the side or as primary. I guess better prospects are with Mate2 profile and further.

The articles aren´t conclusive either, it´s all this "may, could" sort of wording.

I guess I wasn´t pleased to find my own suspicions about being a monk (lol) confirmed by astrology, but it is what it is also so.. maybe we should start 12th House Moons Anonymous and roll with it, hahaha.

For the record I used to be extremely social up until say mid 20s and I guess kind of a popular personality in a few circles, but I found less and less use of all that exposure over time, and found that the people I like to communicate with and am comfortable with are very particular. It can also be exhausting to maintain all that social stuff despite Sun in 10th´s needs, the Moon in 12th just isn´t regular enough for the Sun in 10th, IMO.

So, yeah there is something to it, but I know for a fact that the right sort of partner does exist for a 12th house Moon, it´s rarer, you just kind of have to believe it when / if you encounter it, not dismiss it out of accumulated skepticism like I did :3:.
July 24, 2021 at 13:39
(Aquarius) viv
hi Anni Happy birthday just passed..equals happy new year

The Jupiter in 12th people I have known seem to have a lot of spiritual insights and of course Moon conjunct Mars in the 12th is a private and possibly conflictual story about the mother, about being embodied, the nature of desire etc.

I think Cubics answer above is very interesting. What type of person would you like to be close friends with? Will they need to be contemplatives as well? What type of partner could you imagine being happy with if this is what you want? How could you take steps toward meeting such people? Do you have talents you could share with some like minded souls?

I notice the sextile between Sun and Jupiter and the inconjuncts to Saturn making a yod. Older books suggest this may mean inhibition in love affairs, creativity, no children or difficulty conceiving. I´m not so fatalistic. I personally believe if you know what you want you can ask for it and will be shown a path to receiving this, or something, that actually, you want even more.. Saturn in the fifth can also be a serious and loyal partner.

Best Viv
July 24, 2021 at 14:30
(Leo) Anni23 » cubic
Well... yes, much of this is true.

However I had hoped that it wasn´t inevitable.. it has already been a odd experience to have to renew all my own energy within myself. And yes in a unstable or disconcerting environment I kind of melt away along with my sense of self.

But I have thought that I might be able to control this. Depending.

Actually you are right, there was a time I was quite social though, good at it even. And also most people I don´t think would understand, and I don´t kniw if I would even make them.. though also I am not such a recluse with the very odd person/family in the past

Whichever case scenario I am looking at now looks bad. Though I was previously always open and a optimist about both possibilities.

I suppose it´s myself that I am worried about. Until recently I thought that I was so strong. Ir maybe I did not take seriously these above discussed possibilities.

It is odd to have the instinct for preservation and something like nihilism deep within your heart,

And that need for preservation could suffocate or liberate, I do not know yet?...
July 24, 2021 at 14:51
(Leo) Anni23 » viv
Thank you!

Ahha about being embodied. Thank you for acknowledging this aspect
(Omg the more I realise it... :23:)

People/supposedly cough "neutral" environments do seem to have a disconcerting and destabilising effect on me, I´m not sure if that´s them or its me. Well I know that it has a lot to do with me being unable to process a lot of that energy. Usually which is either negative or apathetic anyways..

I think I would like to meet relaxed but slightly stoic/hardened/accepting of life but still idealist-contemplatives yes. I have met the occasional very odd, apparently open, sensitive and "apparently"stoic" people I have opened up with. Well actually I habe been quite fond of infps (if you know them haha. Though "usually" the are somewhat unstable or dealing with issues (which they don´t want help with either!)

I do not think that people understand how much doesn´t seem to bother me

I hate all the drama and suspicions.. How it escalates regardless of whatever you do and destroys all peace. And for what reasons??
Actually I think that I have been more open than the people I have dealt with.., but it has sucked the energy from me

Yes I don´t really have much trouble with creativity and I think that I would love children (if I ever had them) perhaps more so than any adults

I just want to be relaxed and peaceful and to let my consciousness be free from all these things..
I´m just working at restoring my energy, sensitivity, equilibrium, physical-non physical awareness and aha sanity at the moment..

Actually I don´t suppose you know any articles/blogs discussing the issue of embodiment/conscious awareness?
July 24, 2021 at 15:29
(Aquarius) viv » Anni23
um let me think about blogs etc.Something may pop into my head. There´s someone on Perth tribe awakening on facebook who does lovely crystal layouts every week, with her own sense of what that means. Do you use crystals? might be of interest to you if you are energetically sensitive.

I just think a lot of sensitive people have difficulty with being fully in their physical bodies..Some of it might be about energetic protection... Deliberately focusing on your own heart and filling your energy field with light, of any colour you particularly like and then visualising a membrane or boundary around it(I use a silver boundary then violet.) If you do this before going into other peoples spaces, cities etc you can stop unconsciously absorbing their energy as it just bounces off. On the other hand if you are in nature or somewhere lovely you can just feel very grateful..this expands your energy field.Others will be attracted to you if your energy is full of joy and gratitude. (Then you have to discern how to give it without getting tangled up if you don´t want a personal connection.) I just realised a few years ago we all have the power to bless, just by wishing people well.full stop!
Yes I know artistic infps being an infj I meet them often and their sensate focus attracts, delights and infuriates me! maybe you will be interested in someone like that who is a little older and established with their practice, whatever it is.
best Viv
July 24, 2021 at 15:29
(Leo) Anni23 » viv
OHH yeah I never have learnt what that yod was about
July 24, 2021 at 15:39
(Leo) Anni23 » viv
Sort of... yes I am open to the idea of crystals. I have a few but I still don´t understand how it works and all you know.

I did actually ascertain that smoky quartz crystal is supposed to help me with my problems

Well the problem about not being physically present is two I think- shutting off from your environment but also shutting down your inner self/all emotions
It actually makes me think that I am not sensitive. Im worried that I´m currently at least not capable of ever displaying real emotions or developing them. Because I think I sort of have done this unconcious tjing of just shutting down/gaving no response, or no real-interior one at least. Yes I do think that I protect myself without even being aware.
I would like to stop doing that.
tbh I have been feeling very fragile and like I cannot continue with this "balance"
And I´m all about balance lol

Still I have given a lot to people. I dont know why right now..

Not to mention that I have this huge conflict between "reality" and my own perceived reality. Sometimes I think Neither exist

Even when I am solely by myself I think that I find it difficult to focus on myself and to make myself my sole energy source/priority. Right now I think I remember Everything else that exists in confusion...

Regardless I am trying to cultivate humility and awareness, separation and connection

Ooh you are a infj too! I think that I am.. however if not then I would have to be a infp lol. And unfortunately and clearly I´m not it would seem :42:
Im actually really into all kinds of art too and want to centre *re-center my life around art/beauty and be purified that way. So meeting people like this for me really is a exterior affirmation
I agree that a mature infp would be very interesting..

But also volatile people, without any sense of peace have really created disturbances for me before
July 24, 2021 at 16:02
(Aquarius) viv
well you are in your Saturn return time so a good time to do all that inner work !!!!!
July 24, 2021 at 16:20
(Leo) Anni23 » viv
Oh you mean saturn in the 5th.

Hopefully it will be over soon though, as the good news is that I have just finished a 7 year!! :75:

You know sometimes I think that I may have made progress already.. but then I think I have just realised how afraid I am of other people :63:
July 24, 2021 at 16:23
(Aquarius) viv » Anni23
no, if you´re 28 Saturn will soon be returning to its natal position.
July 24, 2021 at 16:24
(Leo) Anni23 » viv
Hasn´t it already?... :22:
July 25, 2021 at 06:05
(Leo) Anni23 » cubic
Omg i just realised that your a numerology 7 too hehe.

Oh the joys of it all
July 25, 2021 at 13:48
(Leo) cubic » Anni23
"it has already been a odd experience to have to renew all my own energy within myself. And yes in a unstable or disconcerting environment I kind of melt away along with my sense of self. But I have thought that I might be able to control this. Depending."

Yup same here. Gotta find some hours to recharge where there is nobody around, at the very least. But some chaotic/kinda rushed environments have been OK, as long as I´m sympathethic and on good terms with the people involved. But still gotta restore the sense of self soonr or later.

"though also I am not such a recluse"

Me neither. It doesn´t seem like people assume I have reclusive tendencies upon meeting me and knowing me some, so when I start pulling away it´s a bit confusing for them.

"And also most people I don´t think would understand, and I don´t kniw if I would even make them"

Don´t think so myself. They can either roll with it or not..

"Whichever case scenario I am looking at now looks bad. Though I was previously always open and a optimist about both possibilities."

Well yeah I used to be highly optimistic because of the social thing, until later when even in best of situations I still found myself choosing to be on my own again and again for the most part. Then realized how much of that pattern has been repeating, and told myself something like I am the way I am I guess. Friends got used to my on and off patterns, after years of protests hahahah. I´m to be found when shit hits the fand and loyal, so.

"I suppose it´s myself that I am worried about. Until recently I thought that I was so strong. Ir maybe I did not take seriously these above discussed possibilities."

Well hmm. I guess being strong is different, but sure these sort of placements make you wonder sometimes, the porous boundaries, the losing of self. Resilency sure goes up with more experiences. I´ve done whatever I had to sometimes to makeup for that Moon´s particularities.

"It is odd to have the instinct for preservation and something like nihilism deep within your heart"

Yeah, relatable. Every once in a while I used to have these sulking down the goddamn useless void moments, and I´m aware it´s just bullshit 99.7% of the time.

But that doesn´t worry me anymore as much as just growing indifferent to a lot of whats going on in some periods. Still participiating, but the indifference and the mental narratives, lol... it´s like yeah I´m human, I´m supposed to gather resources and reproduce.. do this, do that, it all comes down to these things again, and again. Why? The knowledge is denied to us. We´ll never know. Just a bunch of slaves to God programmed to reproduce, we come up with a lot of stuff to fend off the boredom of existance, thinking there is more to life than this. You either enjoy it or not.

"And that need for preservation could suffocate or liberate, I do not know yet?"

Hmm not sure I fully understood. Yes too much preservation suffocates and makes your mind and body wither away.. have to balance with exposure.

Friends aren´t really the same as close relating, don´t think they are the same echelon of challenge for that Moon.

In addition your Moon is conjuncting Mars (mine conjuncts Pluto instead), that´s another set of challenges, but in 12th I guess it takes the edge off of it some or represses its effects.

https://www.youtube.com/watch/…

Yes I am also a 7.

Not being embodient - mhmm it´s there. I like physical jobs and involvement, that fixes it over time, but my strenght and earning potential is way into the mental sphere. Then you do what you can with workouts and so on.

Also have Venus in 9th. That one is supposedely good.. but sometimes in relations there is expectation fo others to brush off certain things that are said, and sure it works, with that 9th house Saggitarian happy go lucky attitude.. until a point that it doesn´t.

Anyway what I dislike the most is these odd periods of unintentional self-undoing where as if you unconsciously work to reverse good situations. I´ve become better at catching it, but still the compulsions come up once in a while. At least it seems to benefit crappy situations, because the reverse of it is making a situation good.

It feels like also I could have been much more expansive in multitude of ways as a personality, had it not been that placement. Instead a lot is contained inside.

Also processing / letting go of or even being in touch with own emotions is hilariously difficult, and they tend to accumulate. Unfortunately I don´t always have Jupiter in Scorpio pals around.. it´s too much for others.

Some folks sometimes spell out what I´m feeling in certain moments without me asking them.. I guess they instinctively sense the lack of internal communication, lol, I´m both embarrased and thankful lol.

Whenever I´ve had great conditions in life I seem to want to do just my research into the secrets of the universe, run obsevations and experiments with some mental and possibly musical stuff, contemplate stuff, have great convos with a few close people about the grand design of it all, go out and party once in a while, and it kinda stops there. Running a family looks, smells, sounds, feels like it would be too taxing or I´ll have to repress a lot of impulses still. I know I´m responsible otherwise if I have to.. So..until I get bored of that stuff or something else changes I´ve no thoughts about it.

But yeah keep up some spirits, hope that topic doesn´t instill some negative personal beliefs, that´s a risk when acquiring such knowledge. Willpower and conviction can propel you to do wonders, regardless of charts, so my little advice is to remain open and when appropriate positive while knowing these tendencies.
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July 25, 2021 at 18:52
(Taurus) s81
I guess being a Rooster in chinese and having a Leo Sun, do not combine very well with your 5th-11th axis where you have Saturn (retrograde) and Chiron. Plus, you have Chariklo (it has to do with applying limits socially) very prominent conjunct your retrograde Mercury and opposing your Neptune-Uranus retrogrades conjunction.

I would do a synastry (and composite) of you and the country where you live, I bet there is much more information there, and looking abroad for a place with better placements for you socially will change the dynamic, and obviously you will get other results.
July 25, 2021 at 19:32
(Leo) cubic » s81
"I would do a synastry (and composite) of you and the country where you live, I bet there is much more information there, and looking abroad for a place with better placements for you socially will change the dynamic, and obviously you will get other results"

With all due respect is this theory crafting? Have you tried this stuff with the synastry/composite of another country?

Regardkess of synastries/composites I see it recommended for 12th Moon to move the fuck out of hometowns and such abroad. Never explaining why. Sometimes I wonder do these astrologers realize that moving to another culture is kind of a big deal or they just say things they´ve heard somewhere else.

I guess since 12th house is of collective unconscious, moving somewhere where it´s disconnected from the Moon´s home culture might/should reduce the stress on it, since it won´t be receiving so much signals to process from the environment.

So if you work/live in a resort in the forest 300km from the place of birth, and 5 km from the closest village, that is theoretically IMO still good and useful and an improvement.

A whole different culture then kinda guarantees that you´re sealed off from its very roots, since you´re not born there, so a lot of signalling is blocked off.

Kind of reminds me of the years when I´ve skipped going anywhere for New Year´s Eve and finding myself extremely de-pressurized and highly energetic and focused. Like finally people are focused on some other bullshit, so I don´t have to deal with their useless and retarded energies.

Stupid ass 12th house Moon...
July 25, 2021 at 23:36
(Taurus) s81 » cubic
"With all due respect is this theory crafting? Have you tried this stuff with the synastry/composite of another country?"

Not a theory, pure practice dude! Of course I´ve tried that on myself first to understand it better, and then analyzed other people interaction, as usual.

"Regardkess of synastries/composites I see it recommended for 12th Moon to move the fuck out of hometowns and such abroad. Never explaining why. Sometimes I wonder do these astrologers realize that moving to another culture is kind of a big deal or they just say things they´ve heard somewhere else."

I understand your annoyance, sounds like a magical approach but it is not, it´s the way I see it works (and many others too), and I gave my opinion from there. Besides that, in this forum astrocartography has been discussed so many times and it is relatively easy to find more about it by performing a search online, that´s why I didn´t mention it. Synastries, composites and relocation charts are key to find a proper place for a good change.

Of course it is not a mere moving out of a country, it is knowing where to go, that´s why it implies a lot of effort studying the options, and even trying yourself this out. In this post she is expressing, IMHO, a heavy question: "Will I never have any friends/or family?", that implies a current dynamic very complex for her, an environment that does not provide her what she might be legitimately looking for. That´s why it´s clear to me, due to my experience, that it could be really healthy for her looking abroad for a change of scenario (if the charts of her with place where she lives now mark a bad interaction, that´s why I recommended her to check the charts). Sometimes we are not merely the problem, even trying hard something makes no results, sometimes the environment where we move is not interacting with us the way we expect. If she thinks that it´s not suitable or proper for her, she will discard my opinion anyway, it´s just a post reply pretty easy to ignore.

For the rest, don´t worry, I understand astrocartography sounds suspicious, specially when people just think about a map with colour lines hah, forgetting or ignoring that they are just abstractions from relocation charts, but a serious study on it will reveal it just works for anyone. Try it! :36:
July 26, 2021 at 13:36
(Leo) Anni23 » cubic
Tbh I´m a bit confused, yes as I have said previously I have been a lot more optimistic, though still a stoic/realist on issues like this. On some level I think and hope that I will have the final choice. It´s not definate that I will continue to be alone. Infact I have a numerology personality no of 3. Just the last two years have hit hard and I lost my good friend and have a less than satisfactory (rather disappointing) relationship with my family. I was relatively close/open to that friend. I suppose that I don´t trust that this cycle won´t realistically happen again. If it was fate it wouldn´t really matter what I do or don´t do.

Though my main concern has now become protecting my own emotions/self and I am realising that I do not know if having become a recluse is or isn´t the answer.

Actually to a large extent before I was open with my thoughts with those very few people and I think that my emotions are attached to them in a way because I have mercury in cancer sextile my moon in virgo and my third house is in Sag. Also though I know that I have issues with suppression I also have experienced the volatile 12th house depths which usually have leveled out into apparent stoicism/or acceptance.
I don´t know yet if I want to mess with that can of worms..

Though I know what you mean about accumulation haha I think it is my virgo moon that keeps tabs. I have had issues of controlling my emotions since many things have happened that I largely ignored (partially because of blind optimism-stoicism) but now recentering myself I think that is improving.

I don´t know if I have ever overtedly undone myself actually.. and now I just I have lost the impetus for pretence which I don´t think is the same thing

The last thing you say is true but also alternately realising what is may help us to accept and conquer all else regardless of "objectively" bad circumstances..
July 26, 2021 at 13:45
(Taurus) Dilanakia
Hey Annie,

It looks like there are some challenging aspects that others has already addressed. What would life would be if your only problem was to pour yourself a tea. All of us - interesting people - have challenging stuff in their charts.

Anyways I want to mention couple of positive things I see in your chart regarding relationships.

You are a libra rising. who doesnt love a libra rising. Your chart ruler is venus and your venus is in gemini. The thing here is you go just talk with people and they thing you are flirting with them and they fall in love with you. Sadly sometimes not the ones you want ahahahah. I also have venus in gemini. and your venus is in 9 th house. So you could meet this person while travelling. He might so such a jupiter person. Living the love in tops tops. But you are a venus gemini. If you want to keep it longterm you need to give up the other options. This is personally very hard for me but at lest make the decision consciously.

In 4th house you have uranus and neptune. if you use them nicely your life companion can be unique character where you feel like you two sharing and viewing this world different thean everyone. You and him --- and the rest of the world kinda feeling

I think rather than an aries , a gemini or a capricorn pits you good. But I think a saggitarious energy is what you need. Good luck ! dont chase love - enjoy your summer!
July 26, 2021 at 14:04
(Leo) Anni23 » Dilanakia
What you say may be "partially´ true. At other times before the last year or two (and many failed friendships/relationships) I had been on and off social and thought that I may be likeable. Though I am also awkward often.. and if I have lost confidence through bad exchanges I would be more awkward still.
Also it seems I mostly like awkward people or people with problems. For that first thing I do not mind, I even prefer it (and varied company) for the second... :23: it takes it toll more than I anticipated. Depsite my previous optimism.

However I have only really persued/or wanted serious friendships
Though it is true, some of the people I have dated in the end did not take it seriously at least I "was" happy for intervals with one or two friends.

Also though I have family issues.

These issues used to bother me me collectively and separately, however now I have almost none of the above I would even just be looking for friendship immediately (or soon enough) and I think it mainly concerns me if these trends are to continue

Do you mean that the 4th house might include a influence on a long-term partner?..

Also yes I have met Many a Saggitarian (mainly Scorpio-Saggitarians), and a few Geminis too

Pity though that they were dealing with pretty heavy issues of their own at those times :42:

Though now I know that I have been developing my own issues- fate, and having become a bit scared of other people :63: /aware of preserving my energy consciously
July 26, 2021 at 14:13
(Leo) Anni23 » s81
I´m not really sure about a lot of that.. also if you believe additionally in chinese astrology I am a water rooster- double snake - goat.

I don´t know if you mean to imply that retrograde planets are overall bad? For my own view I don´t think they are and I don´t prescribe to all the traditionalist pessimist ideas about it.
Though I admit to some 12th house effects..
July 26, 2021 at 14:16
(Taurus) Dilanakia » Anni23
apart from astrological aspects always remember that you attract what you are.

I encourage you to empower your venus in gemini side. Read about it, act like it continiously and at some point you ll feel like it. Dont give a shit to anything, it is really not worth.

It your saturn return. Really , you have amazing communication capabilities with your air focused chart. Ofc as a libra rising I understand that you want to please everyone which is maybe more the shadow side of libra. How about you let them be them and you do you - even if it feels awkward. If you are losing friends already then at least do it confidently and then lose them. I promise if you put yourself nicely on the table as you are without giving to many details so fast you ll make much more friends. Think about all the tyrans and horrible people. They have friends , they have someone they love them. Stop being so hard on yourself <3

After your saturn return, if you learn your lessons and I think you for sure will as a survivor our communications block will be gone. You ll talk from a much more confident place. Give it time. Let your self be free with mistakes and also amazing sides of yourself.

Anyways my cancer side couldnt hold my mouth :P
July 26, 2021 at 14:25
(Taurus) s81 » Anni23
"I don´t know if you mean to imply that retrograde planets are overall bad? For my own view I don´t think they are and I don´t prescribe to all the traditionalist pessimist ideas about it."

I don´t neither, in fact I´ve argued against all the "retrograde Mercury" superstition already in other posts.

Good luck! :1:
July 26, 2021 at 14:30
(Leo) Anni23 » Dilanakia
Yes.. I mostly agree. But also I suppose half of my question was to ask if I will have the energy to deal with other people and have worthwhile connections..

I suppose I do like people generally and am Very curious about everything to do with them. And I really want to learn from other people.

Maybe currently I just associate being around other people with having to emotionally suffocate myself

And my experience has taught me that I may only be able to rely on myself and still attempt to balance my energy next to and in the midst of several less than satisfactory social lessons.. which I suppose left me scared subconsciously. I am only realising now the full extent

My communication skills seem to have fallen into empty silence..

I´m ok with being myself for awhile now, just I don´t think it seems to be enough for most people

Also I´m trying to have some humility about myself/my life and face up to if it was actually fate all that has happened and may continue to

It seems like my chart is split between aspects indicating some communicating role/s in my life, but then they seem to be Vs aspects like my 12th house

And only I know the sense of isolation, seperation and suffocation that it seems I was previously unable to deal with there.
So that does relate to other people potentially. Regardless of even my "apparent" social abilities. (And energy management)

When will my saturn return happen??
Umm.. should I be a bit scared lol

Thank you for your advice and encouragement :1: when I am by myself, concentrating on only what is around me I do find myself capable of a overflow of energy. I do need to embrace myself for everything I am
July 26, 2021 at 14:41
(Leo) Anni23 » s81
Ok great :1: at least there is this
July 26, 2021 at 16:09
(Taurus) Dilanakia » Anni23
Yes you will have energy for building long term relationships. Do you know about profection. So basically every year starting from your birthday to next one has a theme. For example my years theme is relationships. You can check it on your Astro seek profile


To be able to get stratified lessons and learnings from other people you need to build close relationships . Otherwise it’s just a teaser and not the whole movie 😋

And there is nothing wrong about being enough to yourself and not seeking any other connections.

There is also Saturn return calculator in Astro seek so you can see the exact dates. Because Saturn is a bitch it retrogates and does tricky moves and I wouldn’t be able to tell you. Personally for me I got the hard hard lesson a year or two before my Saturn return started. Currently I m on my Saturn return but I already feel rewarded . So don’t be scared because it’s spectrum of feelings you will explore with your Saturn return. And you ll know much more about yourself.
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