musical, recognition, success indicators - Discussions, questions

hello :) i hope everyone who reads this is doing well and staying safe!

when i was younger i´ve always been in love with creative outlets, specifically with writing and music and dancing. i´ve carried writing as my number one passion my whole entire life, specifically being drawn to poetry and confessional writing. i LOVEEEE words so much, they are so powerful. i´ve always loved singing and dancing when i was little, but as i got older, my anxiety became worse, along with personal, mental, and family issues and i often became afraid to performing/expressing my musical side to others. i used to always sing and dance and watch my favorite artists´ performances/music videos. i would copy the dance moves and draw inspiration from artists. (i grew up heavily on R&B, hip-hop, and soul. peep my profile for my favorite music artists:)) as of lately though, i´ve been tapping more into it (basically my inner child.

it wasn´t until high school (i am now towards the end of my senior) where i kinda came out of my shell and sometimes put my anxiety to the side. i participated in speech, which is my school´s performing arts club, but i never put myself fully out there because once again i was afraid of being judged., so i stopped after freshman year. i was in cheerleading for four years, eventually becoming varsity captain and that really brought me out. i´ve always loved being the center of attention, the sharpest, loudest, and peppiest. i also am the editor-in-chief of my school paper and i became known and received awards for dropping stories that are controversial but need to be discussed. i´ve always been well-known within the area i live in because of those things and because of my family being well-known public figures where i live. constantly, i´ve always had the public eye on my family and life. kinda living to with how others want to view me. my name is often tied to my family´s name, if that makes sense. a lot of people either love me or hate me, no in between. it´s like i´m halfway who i want to be, but at the same time, i don´t. i love writing and love creating raw and unfiltered pieces and pouring emotions, but not everyone has seen that fully 100%. also i would love to get into performing and singing more but i´m so afraid. i used to want to be a journalist because i´m good at it, but i prefer a more creative writing/expressive type of career now. i feel lost and i will be attending college in the fall.

however, despite all this "recognition", i´ve dealt with anxiety, depression, and ADHD majority of my teenage years. so either i´m doing really great or the complete opposite, so i often go into a creativity funk, my anxiety sweeps me out of opportunities, and i have zero motivation. it´s a cycle that i struggle with. i´m currently kinda going through that right now but i´ve been diving more into spirituality and astrology to help me get through it, along with mental medical help too.

i just thought i would provide some insight and backstory before i ask what i need to ask. i´m aware jupiter is my most elevated planet. uranus in my fourth house has affected me heavily throughout my life. basically, you can see i struggle with freedom with others and within myself too. what are some musical/creative/performing aspects in my chart that i should focus on more, whether that be strengths or weaknesses, so that i know what i need to maintain and improve? my dream is to be a creator, one that is expressive in ways that people don´t normally see, musically and within writing? what about recognition? i´m not saying i want to be known for being known but i am curious to know if there is a shot that i could gain any recognition for my creativity? if there´s any other things that could be helpful, please let me know!!

thank you for your help, sorry that this is so lengthy! :)