12th House & making friends

September 19, 2022 at 15:17 (UT/GMT)
(Aries) GraceyT22
12th House & making friends
Hello everyone,

I wanted to come in here and talk to some like-minded astrobrained people since I am struggling to find the "right" place to have this discussion. I am 34 years old and have no siblings, no true friends and rarely speak to anyone outside my astrology clients (and partner + kids + dad, edited to add this) . Where does one begin to find new and REAL friends? I feel like people these days are so busy talking about themselves and demanding answers for things they could easily find with simple research yet when it comes to the human connection, we are all a bit lost on how to approach new friendships as adults?

I have felt like an emotional burden to many people in my life and felt like I needed to protect them from MY intensity as well. I have developed an eating disorder where I cannot eat in front of people thanks to being raised by a very intensely verbal abusive Capricorn mother. My self-esteem is something I have been growing back daily and wish I could be better at seeing myself in the light my partner sees me in. I do have a loving relationship and magical sense of protection from him, yet I don´t want to "burden" him once more with my "out there" research and projects at times too.

I´ve joined sisterhoods and priestess communities but none of it felt genuine to me, which is absolutely my own perception bias coming in! I often wish I grew up with siblings since my parents were too busy working and I was raised with nannies, so this could just be my only child syndrome flaring up as an adult too. I´ll start posting on here more too, in hopes to find some more like minded and lovely people that are also very "real" in their own communities.

I also love talking to people about astrology, as I am a full time astrologer for a few very "big" names, pro athletes, business moguls and entertainers alike... so I promise I know what I am talking about if you need some honest insight and don´t mind a possible delay while I research your chart! I don´t mind working for free, I am a Pisces MC & Mercury afterall! I always appreciate tips and hey, I am redoing my practice at the moment but still have readings open if someone feels so inclined to book!

Thanks for making it this far, all the love to you!

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September 19, 2022 at 20:26
(Pisces) Tina95
Hey :) So I don´t really have an answer for your questions, I just wanted to let you know that I know some of these feelings very well. It is a vicious cycle.

When I had some kind of a burn out, I struggled a lot with eating, because I would feel sick so fast. I developed so many strategies to just being able to eat something although I felt so sick to my stomach. It was all psychosomatic but it felt like hell.

I remember back then getting panic attacks when eating in front of or with other people because I feared so much the sick feeling again.

This was so hard to overcome. I know for people who don´t experience things like this it sounds so stupid, but it really is a struggle. What I learned through this, and maybe this helps you:

My fear was basically not feeling sick again. I didn´t like this, but I didn´t fear it. What I feared was: What will other people think of me?

Deep down, I was so afraid that people would see me as sick, as ill, as someone who needed help, as someone who isn´t doing well and this was pure horror for me - growing up in a family where you needed to "function".

Although this sounds like a small issue, this problem made friendships hard for me. On the one hand because going out to eat always stressed me out, and on the other hand, because I obviously was trying to hide something - the fact that I wasn´t doing well.

We don´t think much about it, but what you are describing with that you felt like an "emotional burden" basically means that you wanted to hide something from others. Or in other words: You put on a mask. You didn´t show yourself. And while showing not yourself, you cannot find true connection, and therefore no true friendships.

I am still on this journey of getting to be more authentic, but it gets better every time. When you find people and it doesn´t feel "genuine" to you, it is probably because you had a mask on yourself - in some way. Try to find out what you want to hide from others. And try instead showing this. It will probably help you finding and building new friendships :)
September 19, 2022 at 20:19
(Capricorn) stellium12
can a twelfth house person really have friends. Sure, we can have a lot of acquaintances, we can be active, "fit in" by playing a roll, but there will always be a hole, something missing. I think a lot of it has to do with being able to feel the other person. No matter what they say or do, you can "feel" what they are not telling you. You´ll gravitate to the people with positive energy and avoid the energy vampires which drain you. If you´re lucky you´ll find someone who will come close to filling the void, but then you will test their commitment to you, (that may be 12th house venus in scorpio though). The tests will keep getting harder until you prove yourself right by driving them away.

It sounds depressing but a twelfth house person finds comfort in solitude and can achieve a state of bliss when they are by themselves.
September 19, 2022 at 19:27
(Taurus) heeps
Ciao
La tua casa 11 è nel segno concreto e affidabile del segno del toro e inoltre venere il pianeta dominante è sempre in casa 11.Forse la chiave del problema è in quell´ opposizione che la stessa venere riceva da parte di Plutone , un bisogno impellente ed incolmabile di ricevere manifestazioni di amicizia profonda e allo stesso tempo una ricerca continua di autotrasformazione per apparire più attraenti a questo scopo.In questo momento urano di transito riflette un importante passaggio
anche perché contemporaneamente ci sarà un eclissi opposta al grado di venere.Tu che ne pensi?
September 19, 2022 at 16:32
(Leo) Hermetic Dreamer
I second what Astrolottie said.

Make sure you know what you want in friends and look for them where they are likely to be. Keep putting yourself out there and you will find your people. Once you have some friends that you connect with make a special effort to keep in touch with them so you can strengthen those bonds further.
September 19, 2022 at 16:01
(Virgo) Astrolottie
Hey, as someone with a lot of 12th house energy too, I guess we just need our alone time so that’s probably what doesn’t help with making and sustaining friendships 😅 but being aware of that and pushing past it is a good place to start I guess. I’ve also started learning astrology more in depth which is the good thing about this placement (quite spiritual). Some apps like bumble friends, meet up and even apps like this can be good for finding like minded people in your area and I use a visualisation app daily to help programme my mind positively and push past barriers and break down your goals/ obstacles to be more achievable and it makes a difference to me
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