"Dark, moody, brooding, secretive, stubborn, defensive" energy?

August 25, 2020 at 12:08 (UT/GMT)
(Leo) Anni23
"Dark, moody, brooding, secretive, stubborn, defensive" energy?
Where is it coming from in my chart...? Sometimes, not always I feel that it is triggered, usually with particular social encounters (mainly when I was younger) and family issues. Although I haven´t been very much like this for years I know that I can feel a very calm implacable resentment and stubbornly hold a grudge for years. If someone crosses me I will very calmly react but feel completely on guard and make it clear that I am not appreciating the disrespect or the offhand rudeness. (Of course that´s only when they´re completely out of line though, but I´m not particularly ahem. tolerant of that kind of behaviour) I know I should act or feel more respect for these people but I just don´t after one very bad thing is noticed 🤔
If I feel pushed I don´t just let something slide and if someone clearly meant something else I don´t let it just drop.
Could it have something to do with Jupiter in libra aswell? I have heard that this can make a person lowkey pissed

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September 1, 2020 at 09:51
(Leo) Anni23 » fishscales
Ahh ok, thanks, swapping one problem for another though hehe 😁 although there may also be something true in the mars/moon conjunction still. But I feel that the sign placement of both may have the most relevance including the placement. Now I just have to work out how they really work together. Also as they are both sextile my mercury in cancer..
August 31, 2020 at 17:02
(Pisces) fishscales » Anni23
"Hmm.. I´m not sure if I agree entirely about moon conjunct mars as it is positioned in the 12th house."

Yeah I don´t agree with myself either :4:

I was neglecting house position, and only looking at the aspect...

Corrected myself in a post to Zephyryn a ways up...

Whoops :6:
August 31, 2020 at 15:36
(Leo) Anni23 » Zephyrin
Yes that is probably true, I don´t like conflict because of my cancer, libra and virgo placements. And Virgo particularly I think is what must five me anxiety at times and a want to escape from situations involving stress provoking converations driven by bad communication. Also my Jupiter in libra is probably somewhat riled... as it would prefer direct discussion. However I actually find that I also do find myself forced sometimes to react, and if pushed I sometimes react strongly, I guess because of my sun in Leo? And some other aspects I have I am not so very easy going as a libra, cancer or Virgo is "supposed to be". I am not yet entirely sure how mars in Virgo is meant to operate though.
August 31, 2020 at 15:23
(Leo) Anni23 » fishscales
I have heard that mercury in scorpio people can brood and grow very resentful. I think perhaps that mercury in cancer can as well to an extent although not as intensely perhaps. We are milder, though I think we do feel protective and can hold a grudge 😁 I feel like mercury in cancer is closer to being reactive than passive. I´m not still quite sure about Pisces being as reactive though..

Hmm.. I´m not sure if I agree entirely about moon conjunct mars as it is positioned in the 12th house. Although I think you have made me realise something new which I think I have always felt is true. That I like to be quite direct with people. Yet also I can "store" my energy for awhile in the 12th house waiting for the opportune moment to release it and well I don´t know if that´s precisely "festering" but it is controlling. I think this is also because of both the moon and mars being in Virgo. I find virgo to be a bit of a funny sign though, and i don´t know if it´s just my mixture of placements and aspects of if other people consider it to be direct or indirect usually?
August 30, 2020 at 14:22
(Leo) Red Lion » Anni23
Not everyone is as remarkably gifted with stars that can create a seamless transition between energies that are not always harmonious. Such a deep understanding could be well used in the service of others dealing with psychological/ emotional shifts who are not so blessed.
August 30, 2020 at 10:27
(Leo) Anni23 » Red Lion
Yes I used to experience this oscillation between the two signs, however also Virgo moon should not be underestimated to control emotions "appropriately" as well as both libra ascendant and libra in Jupiter to look for balance. Also my mercury is in cancer but it´s sextile my moon in Virgo 😂 so there´s something else for contrasting elements
August 28, 2020 at 15:08
(Leo) Red Lion
The Cancer/ Leo cusp is a lifelong occilation between sigh traits. Jupiter in Libra seem an ideal placement to navigate these swings.
August 28, 2020 at 14:52
(Leo) Red Lion
Jupiter in Libra is fair and determined. If you´re experiencing a downside of this placement then what is required is a transformation which is the dominion of Pluto. You have strength in Pluto. We encounter Plutonian opportunities every day in small ways. If we do not respond to these,the energy builds up and then boom. Fixed sighs including ironically, Scorpio usually have difficulty here. I was snagged up with denial for years. I found it pivotal to understand the 3 forms of Scorpio: Scorpion, Eagle & Phoenix. Plutonian ascensions transform across the board.
August 28, 2020 at 13:52
(Pisces) fishscales » Zephyrin
You make some good points...

I definitely was not looking enough at the house position of her moon-Mars conjunction...its house position would mitigate alot of what I said about the aspect...it would mute it, and make it more subtle and unconscious, and not as easily expressed externally..12th house is tough enough for Mars by itself, let alone when it´s teamed up with the moon...

She´ll be OK though with her Jupiter in the 12th...
August 28, 2020 at 10:22
(Leo) Zephyrin
"Although I haven´t been very much like this for years I know that I can feel a very calm implacable resentment and stubbornly hold a grudge for years."

I think it is your Moon influences and Moon/Mars conjunction in 12th house. It is a neutral aspect that may give vengefulness, frustration. That person has wounds caused of people (sometimes from mother) and it may give a vengeful personality depends on the house it stands. In 3rd house, it may give a very sharp tongue and that person takes his/her revenge verbally. If it is in 12th house, that person may be vindictive and cruel to people hurt her but doesn´t act directly. In your case, with your Mercury in Cancer which is known having strong memory, you don´t forget anything bad and tend to hold grudges for years.

Jupiter(12)/asc conjunction may give you a saint look, secretive personality which shows itself to other people well, but it also attracts their evil side. Libra is an easy going sign, she doesn´t like struggling with people. With the 12th house effects, she may escape from quarreling, arguing with people.
August 28, 2020 at 05:33
(Pisces) fishscales » Anni23
"Actually I was just wondering how mercury in Pisces would differ?"

I would say Mercury in Cancer is more cantankerous, with more of a self-preservation streak. I think the Mercury in Cancer mind is more prone to shut down and enter protection mode during difficult times, whereas the Mercury in Pisces mind would be more prone to escapism, fantasy, or just "wishing away" the problem. Both are sensitive minds, but both have different ways of dealing with adversity.

Mercury in Scorpio is probably good at penetrating the thought processes and moods of others, but not so good at penetrating and understanding their own. I don´t know how much their mentality would contribute to moodiness; they probably would want to project that Scorpionic illusion of "control" as much as possible.

"Also I´m just thinking now that I´m not quite sure precisely what you mean by "insulating against developing resentments"? Although I think I have some idea"

What I meant was that moon-conjunct Mars is more likely to emotionally act in an aboveboard fashion rather than letting things fester and turn into resentful feelings. Lack of emotional action and expression is a huge cause of resentment. I don´t see moon conjunct Mars having that problem. Although there is a possibility that they may emotionally react too quickly and intensely, without enough mental analysis and temperance.

Would still way rather have that than the festering...
August 28, 2020 at 04:03
(Leo) Red Lion » Anni23
Oops! I was wrong. Too many charts. Sorry! But not a critical mistake. The % is actually 19. I am not familiar with the mathematics of dominants. I discovered them late. You can find yours above your natal to the left. Astrology and life, until your first Saturn return, seems like trying to keep all the plates spinning. They are reduced when you have a personal understanding of time and then reduced again at the second go round. My experience of dominants is that they are the forces that drive the changing responses to the issues and situations that form us. Our core. A personal story. Issues from early life had, in my late thirties caused me to have strong fight of flight responses to stressful situations. Mars and Uranus conjunct the Decendant. I had no idea how to resolve this. Somehow, it all worked out on it´s own. I was focusing on the larger issues in my chart. Often smaller problems vanish from a higher plateau. This is what your dominants are constantly working toward. Paying attention to their transits would be beneficial. That´s how it worked for me. Greater energies absorb smaller ones.Some times leaving a residual quirk. A lot of asteroids are simply outgrown. Sorry if this is not entirely clear. It´s late and I have had quite the day. I don´t like to leave people hanging.
August 27, 2020 at 13:50
(Leo) Anni23 » fishscales
Actually I was just wondering how mercury in Pisces would differ? In what ways do they despite both being water signs contrast? And in which ways are they quite similar? I suppose Scorpio would be the moodiest of the lot(water signs) though

Also I´m just thinking now that I´m not quite sure precisely what you mean by "insulating against developing resentments"? Although I think I have some idea
August 27, 2020 at 10:25
(Leo) Anni23 » Red Lion
37%!? 😯 How does that work out? Looking at my houses Pluto appears to just be a ruler of the 2nd house though. Although the first aspect I have listed is the sun trine pluto. Also my north node is in that house, but I´m not sure how that would manifest, although using the whole house system it isn´t.
August 26, 2020 at 15:49
(Leo) Red Lion » Anni23
Yes, Pluto dominates 37% of your chart. Not surprisingly, I am in agreement with your points. A ♏ trait that I have is that I automatically use any reflective surface to see what´s behind me when I sense a negative presence there. It´s nice awareness.
August 26, 2020 at 04:09
(Leo) Anni23 » JayJayAstrology
Yes I have read that about Jupiter in libra judging.., also what I read was I think particularly what happens when Jupiter becomes offended or bruised. I suppose what I am mainly talking about is people in my life who have been repeat offenders, sure I may have given them other opportunities a few times again (mainly because they are family) and I could see that they may have been genuinely regretful, but it often seems like it couldn´t be the same way again. And especially when those people were family then it has in a way molded a kind of defensiveness into my character which I´m not sure would have been there to such an extent otherwise.

I think that the cancer/Leo cusp used to characterise me, now I´m not so sure. I think Virgo moon likes to "control"/protect me and filter emotions (along with the below)

Also the communication practices of my family hardly help.. they are very sedate and unemotional... not bad so much but just passive and unaware. Which means of course that I am unable to or do not feel I can or want to break past those boundaries which in fact become erected inside myself as a natural response. It is only with the few friends I have had over the years, who are currently not with me, that I have felt anything close to "being myself" or acting as I could otherwise do. Being with my family makes me feel cold and unfeeling and as if i am trapped inside myself and my energy can´t go out. Sometimes I feel as if this is my fault and that is who I am and I am unsure if I could be myself properly in a social context..
August 26, 2020 at 03:42
(Leo) Anni23 » Asteroid #448
Thank you, this is a very good, almost scarily accurate explanation of myself! Yes unfortunately the my position of the 4th house coupled with the planets of the 12th seem to not have taught me very well the art of free expression 😓 so I suppose that makes me mostly very calm waiting for things to escalate before throwing in the towel.. Which isn´t to say that I think that I communicate badly, just particularly with my family it has been a unusual upbringing where perhaps emotional sharing was not encouraged..

"Except you the uncle" 😂😂 well to be honest I haven´t always found it so easy to relax and not take things seriously especially when surrounded by serious people or when social relations have not gone so well in spite of my whole hearted belief that life should not be considered difficult and we shouldn´t take too much seriously.
In fact I may have started to blame myself for things not being easy going always in my life despite knowing that it hasn´t always been my fault.

Yes also I think libra is NOT as peaceable as people think, sometimes when I feel people have "destroyed the peace" I think that there is nothing left to do to remedy things.
August 26, 2020 at 03:37
(Leo) Anni23 » Red Lion
Oh so your saying that Scorpio is one of my domiants, as I was unsure about this. Yes I think that the "forgive but don´t forget" attitude would very much apply here. I dislike people assuming peace after they have disrupted everything. And I especially dislike stranger taking liberties albeit seemingly unaware that is precisely what they are doing. I suppose our suns also have something to do with this, to add accentuated elements of protection and pride 😁
August 26, 2020 at 03:28
(Leo) Anni23 » fishscales
Hehehe I always knew cancer was partially to blame although I had been thinking that it was more my moons fault lately. I do seem to have gone beyond that brooding, depressed period of youth and find myself leaning much to being more stoic, which I must say is probably "mostly" good 😁 I am not entirely sure though how the Virgo energy is meant to manifest when it trys to protect itself (in the 12th house too) -resentful, contained? I don´t think that it´s as passive as people think(the 12th house too), I think rather that it´s a factor contributing to being judgemental and unforgiving and perhaps not expressing that fully after a certain point. (Which isn´t to say that I haven´t forgiven several people who are important to me and negotiated peace with them)
August 26, 2020 at 02:57
(Leo) Red Lion
Hi Anni23, All of those qualities are of a ♏ on a bad day. If you go into your profile and look at dominants, you´ll find the explanation. My chart has me at 44% ♌ and 42% ♏. The signs are a fixed square so attitudes take time to be refined. We love ourselves enough to not lash out when betrayed but that means we carry them a long time. Strangers from time to time have a strong immediate negative response. I suspect that is part of the configuration. Investigate ♏. Find your parts.... Mars on your moon intensifies your responses. You were born a few days after the new moon. Your moon is phenomenally aspected for bodily intuition. I´ve lost traçk of how but there are ways to develope this. A powerful tool in navigation through life.
August 25, 2020 at 15:03
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user Asteroid #448, who already deleted profile on this website:
Hi Anni,
I see some things in your chart which could contribute to this dark, broody energy..

1) moon in 12th - your emotions are unusually private, maybe cold but you don´t see it that way? You reject it in others? Perhaps you do not know how to display being warm, affectionate. I had this as a transit and i know in this period ppl also contribute by being secretive with you as well. You will drift towards open affectionate, upfront, childlike innocent people. And these are good for you to teach you how to express. :-) Anger builds up resentment esp when its not voiced.
2) mars in 12th - you work in secret, it might be difficult to tag-team, do group work with others. You might need to put yourself in the others shoes. You may give all but not everything. Your partner/s senses this... Might not trust you. It is easy to go from here to being not communicative at all.

3) uranus/neptune in 4th - uprooting not by choice but by other forces, out of your hands causing sorrow, instability, troubles at home which disturbs your moods.
4)saturn in 5 - the uncle watching you while you having fun.. Except you the uncle.. On the outside but inside.. The longing child.. You might find it hard to do leo things, having fun, being fiery, playful, relaxing and flirting , being a kid. you might do well to join a more exuberant crowd.. You wont be seen and can let yourself out safely :-)
5) asc- libra, your shadow side is aggressive. You probably see yourself as this very easy going, non-combative person but when the going is tough you might be actually instigating, refusing to patch up/solve/work things out. You cannot take your own word for it (against esp your shadow twin) as you will mimic their traits thinking its deserved! while they might mimic you (libra is their shadow side) so infact they might be v easygoing with you while aggressive with others and you aggressive with them and normal with everyone else. Role reversal. But generally like with all shadows just try to balance yourself between the two (aggression, passivity).

Also you are very humble, jup in 12th.. People say this is a v good placement for unseen help to you.. I see it as you are the unseen healer. (you expand into the unseen things ) egs. In daily life. you give mental peace to people, you soothe and calm others. you are spiritual. Your nature inspires people and makes others brave. In unseen ways you embody the spirit of life, and people are alive with you.

Your anger is caused by all these repressions and also reactions to you which are unwarranted. But i like that it shows you are responsible, you rather learn how to play than learn to be serious :1:
August 25, 2020 at 14:42
(Aries) JayJayAstrology
Hi Anni!
I recall looking at your chart yesterday.

Moon conjunct Mars could definitely have a temper. Mars, the Warrior, is defensive. That´s it´s job - well, one of its jobs. It defends a person´s boundaries as well as is the DOER in the chart. Where it is will show what it defends.

And of course, the Moon represents emotions. So, Mars conjunct Moon will be prickly - a fighter - a defender of justice and fairness - defender of slights and petty slings upon your character.

Sun on Cancer/Leo cusp makes you super sensitive. You could be hurt easily. You also could want to defend a tender, developing Leo when young.

Libra rising, is also very sensitive - wide open to receiving what people are dishing out. If it doesn´t feel good, Libra will feel it and want to give it back. Jupiter there might actually - could - be nice - but Jupiter can judge as well.

I don´t know about Jupiter causing a "low key piss". It expands upon the sign it is in. It could expand upon Libra´s sensitivity. Libra needs feedback from others - like Leo - both signs are very interactive and relational in nature. Libra can be very controlling and seem very hard to other people if they become controlling so that they don´t have to feel the effects of negative energy from others. You could be keeping those people at arms length and hold drudges as a way to control the negativity that could come your way.

Granted, there ARE negative people in the world and most of us don´t want negativity in our lives - especially if we are the brunt of it. So, if you don´t want them in your life, you can choose not to have them in your life. But you pay a price for holding grudges. The way out is to let them go with a blessing - but choose not to have them in your inner circle. If you are busy criticizing them and complaining about them in your mind - then you have brought them into yourself - and - you´re stuck defending yourself - all by yourself. Not saying you do that - but - I see your Moon and Mars is in Virgo, 12th - so that´s a possible scenario.

You aren´t obligated to relate to all family members if they´re toxic. You do have to make peace with them inside of yourself though, for your own sake. I used to practice some imaginative self-protective techniques - surrounding yourself with light or a protective bubble kind of thing - these can work, if you find you´re in their presence. I don´t know - you could experiment. Just an idea.
August 25, 2020 at 13:32
(Pisces) fishscales » Anni23
I would imagine that moon conjunct Mars lends itself to directness...and anger is probably not outside the realm of possibility either... But I´d think it´s a good placement to insulate oneself from developing resentments...

You may be on to something with that Mercury in Cancer... That could create a brooding type of mind...
August 25, 2020 at 13:25
(Leo) Anni23 » fishscales
Yes I was kind of thinking that 2× libra may have a bit to do with it. Because if people don´t even make an effort to be nice I just get peeved that they are "trying to destroy the peace", also I suppose my sun in Leo can make a little stubborn sometimes 😁 and with mercury in cancer i can be quite moody.. Perhaps together that could answer the question to a large extent.. also my moon too though, sometimes keeping things bottled up doesn´t produce the best effects. Although mostly I´m direct where it matters
August 25, 2020 at 13:12
(Pisces) fishscales
Not seeing alot for brooding, resentment and grudges in your chart honestly.

That´s Taurus, Scorpio, and 8th house stuff, and you don´t have anything really important there.

You do have a loose, separating trine between the sun and Pluto, and a moon-pluto sextile. Soft aspects don´t necessarily mean a planet´s energy is going to express positively (talking about Pluto in this case), it will just flow more easily with the aspecting planet.

You do have Pluto square Saturn... This could definitely signify a difficulty with letting things go.

Libra rising can create inner resentment... Especially when the Libra person is always doing their best to accommodate others, but then does not find the same behavior reciprocated in their time of need...

Other than that, from your description, it sounds like you deal with alot of things in a pretty direct, timely way, which should really preclude you from building up too many resentments and such.

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