Violent sibling

July 19, 2020 at 11:17 (UT/GMT)
(Capricorn) aventurine
Violent sibling
Hi everyone, I just read a post about someone who felt bad about bullying their brother, this caught my attention and encouraged me to share my story and seek help, only in this story I´m in the victim position.

So my only sibling is my 2 years older brother, he´s always been violent towards me, even when I was just a baby, my grandma told me that one day she caught him punching me in my bassinet.

I was also told that during his first 2 years on earth, being an only child, and the very first grandchild of the entire family, he was treated as a "golden child/ king child", and so it´s plain to understand that when I arrived in the picture, he felt threatened and jealous.

Long story short, I grew up being bullied by him, psychologically and physically. My parents were not brave enough to really punish him or teach him the lesson on how to NOT be violent, so he kept hurting me until I was around 14-15 and dared to defend myself/ had the muscles to fight back.

When I was 15, my best friend made me realize that I had some "PTSD" issues, for example, one time she was sitting next to me and lifted her arms to tie her hair, I startled and had this reflex of protecting my face. This was the first time I realized what he´d done to me throughout my whole childhood affected me in a deep way. I won´t get into graphic details but it wasn´t just regular sibling fighting, he had a really sick, perverted, extremely violent way of hurting me. His face would change in a scary way and he would even find many "logical" reasons to justify why I´d deserve to be hit, convincing himself like a crazy person.

The problem is that I had this "Stockholm syndrome" relationship with him. Since we were only the two of us in a big, often empty house, absent, distant parents, to fight boredom in a way, I had to make peace with him every time he treated me badly. He either managed to make me laugh, pretend that nothing happened, and without any validation of my suffering by my parents, I was left with no choice but to move on and also act as if nothing happened.

Anyways, I had to live with it, and when I finally graduated from high school I went far, far away, I was only 17, and I met my first love, who turned out to be violent as well. And the pattern repeated itself. I´d forgive and pretend nothing happened and so on.

Today I´m 29 and I can see more clearly how I was conditioned into having abusive relationships. I did the inner work and no longer attract these people in my life. I used to cope with alcohol and weed and I managed to leave that behind a year ago. I´ve come a long way.

My brother and I had a great relationship for the past years, we both traveled and matured and I thought this whole violent pattern was far behind us. He became my favorite family member, I could feel he regretted the past even tho we never addressed it.

Until two days ago, we are both temporarily living at our father´s house for work reasons, and after not even a week of living together again, he showed his "true colors", which ended up with me being thrown to the ground, and I hurt my neck really bad. I thought the pain would pass but I´m gonna have to see a doctor tomorrow.

I am beyond heartbroken, disgusted, disappointed. I can´t believe I am reliving this, being almost 30yo and being made a victim. I can´t even drive back to my apartment because of the pain, I´m stuck here with him and just as in the old days, he´s behaving as if nothing happened, and my dad enables it by spending time with him, not addressing the issue, while I´m hurting.

I´m no longer a little girl, I know this is a huge red flag, it´s also a confirmation for me to stop trying to mend things with a family that never appreciated me or defended me, and I will settle down far, far away, this time for good, as soon as I get the work certificate I´m currently working on.

I just need definite answers, through astrology, since he´ll never be able to have a rational conversation about his behavior. It´s hard for me to do this, I´ve tried a few times and I´m guessing Pluto, the 8th house, his Chiron and my Moon, both our Cancer Moons are involved, but I´m blocked in the process of finding out what makes him so cruel towards me.

Thank you so much for reading me and I´d appreciate any analysis. Here´s his chart.
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July 20, 2020 at 01:03
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Dharma212
System message: Post has been written by user DEEP SIGH, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Sad :8: :8: :8: :8: .
July 19, 2020 at 23:43
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » rohini moon
System message: Post has been written by user Dharma212, who already deleted profile on this website:
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"You explained that really, really well.... Excellent analysis."


Thanks; most kind, :-) :80:


"But it made me worry/fear for her, because I do understand what you´re saying...."


Yes, it is not an easy situation, :8:. Let´s hope she "gets" my message, 🙏🙏.


"I hope Ali reads this and finds the clairficafion she was looking for, we´re here for you, though. :62: :79: :80: :74:"


Yes I hope so; and yes, we are here for you, Ali, :62:
July 19, 2020 at 23:25
(Virgo) rohini moon » Dharma212
You explained that really, really well.... Excellent analysis. But it made me worry/fear for her, because I do understand what you´re saying....

I hope Ali reads this and finds the clairficafion she was looking for, we´re here for you, though. :62: :79: :80: :74:
July 19, 2020 at 23:18
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user Dharma212, who already deleted profile on this website:
=====
Ok, so let´s see what the composite chart between you and your brother tells us.

First, I want to say that I am really sorry about your situation with you brother. And that I sincerely hope that he can seek professional help to heal the wounds that are making him act this way so that he can change his behavior for the better. I personally feel very sad when families are breaking up. But honestly? I don´t see any other solution but to disconnect from him.

I´ll try to be as simple as possible because I know you are kind of new to astrology. And I´ll be using Tropical astrology to analyze the composite.

A composite chart is a very accurate way to determine how any kind of relationship behaves as an "entity" in itself. I´ve been researching composites very extensively, and they DO describe the actual dynamic of a relationship in ways that are even eerily accurate. Refer to the posted composite to better understand what I will be describing next.

The first thing I notice is that Saturn is in the composite 7th house (house of one-on-one close relationships), and conjunct the composite descendant in Capricorn.

Although this conjunction can sometimes manifest in more positive ways, more frequently than not, it does not. And this is more so, since your brother´s own natal Saturn is very badly aspected. Your own Saturn is being affected by Rahu (the North Node), and your Venus is being severely suppressed by Saturn. So this Saturn-descendant conjunction in the composite, has the tendency to manifest in very negative ways because of that; especially because of the VERY challenging chart your brother has.

In negative ways, this conjunction makes it very difficult to relate as a "team", as Robert Hand says in his book on composites. You both feel huge walls/barriers to relate to each other at an emotional level. According to Robert Hand, "Saturn on the composite Descendant can be a sign of mutual alienation". This aspect can make us feel suffocated, limited, restricted, stopped, not understood, being judged, etc, in the relationship.

Saturn - through traditional rulership - is ruling the 8th house, which among other things more positive things, represents ups and downs, sudden events, accidents, injuries, violence, etc. So we have the 8th lord/ruler (Saturn) in the 7th house of close relationships. So those negative aspects of the 8th (represented by Saturn himself, also) are now going into the composite 7th house.

Then from the composite 7th, Saturn is conjunct Mercury also on the 7th. This is an extremely challenging composite aspect to have that - although it could manifest in more positive ways - frequently, it does not. In negative ways, it can manifest as a "restricted" (Saturn) and limited communication (Mercury). It feels judgmental, cold, and harsh in nature.

Curiously enough, Mercury is ruling the composite 3rd (communication, siblings), and is conjunct the 8th lord (Saturn = restrictions, barriers, etc).

Then we have Saturn conjunct Neptune. One planet (Neptune) that represents compassion, understanding, empathy, etc, together with a planet that - negatively manifested - represents just the opposite!!

Then Mercury is conjunct Neptune on the 7th. This combination - unless the relationship is composed of two spiritually evolved individuals (which is DEFINITELY not his case at all!) - creates many self-delusions, lies, deceptions, etc. The communication is never clear, but it is confused and deceiving.

Then the composite has THE worst composite aspect of them all: Mars opposite Pluto. Curiously enough, the SAME aspect you BOTH have in your natal charts (you have it but it doesn´t show in Astroseek. But you definitely have it with an 8 degree of orb). And in your case, Mars is conjunct your descendant, AND as the 6th lord/ruler! So we have the 6th lord (Mars = aggressiveness) conjunct the Descendant (close relationships), and opposite Pluto. You need to be EXTREMELY careful not to attract very violent/aggressive partners to your life.

In your particular case, this Mars-Pluto opposition, attracts violence towards you from others. In his specific case, he IS the one getting violent with others, and physically so. This man WILL become (already is) a women abuser/hater. And it is very possible that he will end up in jail for it.

The Mars-Pluto opposition - when negatively manifested - is THE worst aspect to have in a natal chart, and it is the aspect representing cruelty, abuse, rape, and physical violence. And more frequently than not, either the individual with this aspect has done these things, or he has received it from others.

You must never ever be alone with your brother anymore. I recommend against it very, very strongly. Calls? Up to you. Some social family gathering where EVERYONE is there? Up to you. But never alone in a private space.

Then we have the composite Nodes being square to Pluto and Mars, forming a Grand Square in the composite chart. This = violence, manipulation, control, and whatnot.

Then from the 12th house of endings, losses, Chiron (deep wounds) is conjunct Jupiter (faith, optimism, etc) and ALSO conjunct a 12th house Moon = deep wounds in our emotional self from the manifestations of subconscious issues (12th house) one can´t even understand.

From the 12th, Chiron is opposite Mercury, Saturn, and Neptune in the 7th = wounds in communication (Mercury), in feeling understood and loved (Neptune), and in being treated unfairly, unjustly, harshly, and in a judgmental way (Saturn).

This composite tells me - with 100% certainty - that you MUST stay away from your brother, and only keep (IF even that) a kind of sporadic "social" communication, preferably by phone only.

Anyway, this is my blunt and straightforward analysis.

Best of luck to you!

Work on healing your issues of low self-esteem, and not feeling worthy of love. Focus all of your energies on understanding the subconscious reason why you don´t seem to be able to manifest self-love in your life 🙏🙏🙏.
July 19, 2020 at 22:09
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » aventurine
System message: Post has been written by user DEEP SIGH, who already deleted profile on this website:
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② “ But his birth time is 8:40 AM “ :

I deleted my reply because I see you post his birth information before me ( I am slow in writing more than the others :24: ) .

I wrote “ His BirthTime = 10:40 AM “ .

And you correct it to “ 8:40 AM “ .

I’m sorry here I don’t check something important here , this different in times because I use the time zone GMT +3 and in your country the time zone is GMT +1 .

So it make different in the time by 2 hours .

I am sorry for my hastiness , I don’t look to the difference in the time zones between us :24: .
July 19, 2020 at 22:08
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » aventurine
System message: Post has been written by user DEEP SIGH, who already deleted profile on this website:
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① “ You´re good !^^ “ :
Thank you :24: :80: .
July 19, 2020 at 21:31
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » aventurine
System message: Post has been written by user Dharma212, who already deleted profile on this website:
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"correct"

Ok, thanks!

As others here (RohiniMoon, hh, Bluerosepetals, etc) have already done an excellent work at analyzing his and your charts, I´ll focus on the composite then. I´ll come back with my analysis in a little while.
July 19, 2020 at 21:28
(Virgo) rohini moon » aventurine
You´re a scorpio ascendant, you´ll beat it. :80: :80:

Life never really takes a break throwing us curveballs..but we get through..

Always moving through. :68: :74: :80:
July 19, 2020 at 21:23
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » rohini moon
System message: Post has been written by user Dharma212, who already deleted profile on this website:
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"Ahh you are right, I missed that Mars/Mercury ..."

"Thank you Peter. :80:"

You are most welcome, :-) :80:
July 19, 2020 at 21:22
(Capricorn) aventurine » rohini moon
Thank you very much :80: :17:

Don´t be sorry tho, it motivates me to learn about Vedic astrology, and I´ll re-read your post once I´ve learned enough ;)
July 19, 2020 at 21:20
(Capricorn) aventurine » hh
" your north node indicates you need to fight, assert yourself and develop courage in all things but especially when dealing with ´patriarchy´ or the establishment. " --> very true, i can relate to that.

"the secret is to join with the partner to fight an outside cause. or else the kingdom eventually becomes divided. " ---> fascinating ! thanks !

"look more into chiron-venus opposition as your dealing with others needs balancing and better diplomacy, you either too diplomatic or lacking when it is needed." ---> I lack diplomacy that´s for sure, I´m learning with time.
July 19, 2020 at 21:19
(Virgo) rohini moon » Dharma212
Ahh you are right, I missed that Mars/Mercury ...

Thank you Peter. :80:
July 19, 2020 at 21:17
(Virgo) rohini moon » aventurine
Yes, it´s Vedic...

I´m sorry, you probably haven´t much of an idea of what I was saying then, it´s just how I read charts..

If it´s any consolation I am sorry for what you have / are going through.. :80: :79:
July 19, 2020 at 21:15
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » rohini moon
System message: Post has been written by user Dharma212, who already deleted profile on this website:
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"Saturn conjunct Rahu in the third house of siblings...closely conjunct. Same Nakshatra, with Mars the karaka of siblings located in the 7th house - aspecting you, the first house..."

"Moon in Ardra Nakshatra in 8th house...ruled by Mercury, which has rulership over 11th house of elder siblings."

"Ardra is one devastating Nakshatra. .it is represented by a tear drop."


This was VERY good indeed! :-)). You forgot one minor detail that together with your great analysis, explains everything very accurately:


Mars - the Karaka for brother - from her 7th (close relationships) is aspecting (with Mars´ 8th aspect) the 11th (house of elder siblings) lord (Mercury) in the 2nd house of family, while Mercury is retrograde.

This aspect between Mars-Mercury is one that creates many arguments, fights, and what not. In composite, it is a killer!
July 19, 2020 at 21:14
(Capricorn) aventurine » rohini moon
this is Vedic astrology I´m guessing ? I´ll have to look into it to understand your answer. I´m still a beginner in western astrology, much to learn...
July 19, 2020 at 21:03
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » DEEP SIGH
System message: Post has been written by user hh, who already deleted profile on this website:
=====
you got secret skillzzz. :97:
July 19, 2020 at 21:01
(Capricorn) aventurine » Dharma212
correct
July 19, 2020 at 20:50
(Virgo) rohini moon » aventurine
Saturn conjunct Rahu in the third house of siblings...closely conjunct. Same Nakshatra, with Mars the karaka of siblings located in the 7th house - aspecting you, the first house...

Moon in Ardra Nakshatra in 8th house...ruled by Mercury, which has rulership over 11th house of elder siblings.

Ardra is one devastating Nakshatra. .it is represented by a tear drop.
July 19, 2020 at 20:48
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » aventurine
System message: Post has been written by user hh, who already deleted profile on this website:
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no its suitable im just not a visual person :)

yeah he has a very tight mars opp pluto and square to venus. since pluto is slow, your pluto is also opp his mars, so he sees you as a threat.
your mars is square his sun exactly, you are threatened by his ego and authority over you. his sun is also in your 4th indicating he was a dominating and authoritative presence in your early upbringing (4th). his sun is square jupiter indicating a serious inflated ego problem as both planets are not in comfortable dignity in sidereal chart. his jupiter is conjunct your mars in the 7th, indicating he can fuel or fan the flames to your mars in interactions with each other (7th). if his jupiter was operating on a better level, it could possibly benefit you.

the main theme im seeing as that you two should reconcile, you should verbalize your complaint either in a joint session monitored by a therapist or if he isnt willing to reconcile or notice your pain, you should move on as i dont show you have much say in his future or life path, and neither he to yours. having his birth time could change some things though.
July 19, 2020 at 20:18
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user hh, who already deleted profile on this website:
=====
i cant read his chart without a dob, but i would agree with bluerosepetals, that if he has a venus-mars-pluto t-square then he has potential for being quite violent but the venus is sort of masking things, like insulting or hurting someone physically and then playfully joking about it afterwards to mask what just happened.

as for your chart, i first notice chiron on the south node which is very common for people that have rather traumatic and wounded childhood or upbringings. your north node indicates you need to fight, assert yourself and develop courage in all things but especially when dealing with ´patriarchy´ or the establishment.
another red flag is you have mars on your desc which indicates alot of fighting in one one one relationships of all kinds. theres a great lesson in this, just research more on this placement as its quite important in order to evolve in relationships. my sister has this placment in the same sign and she attracts abusive types, but the thing is, people with this placement need a fighter in their life. either they are fighting each other, or if they arent, they get bored and part. the secret is to join with the partner to fight an outside cause. or else the kingdom eventually becomes divided.

look more into chiron-venus opposition as your dealing with others needs balancing and better diplomacy, you either too diplomatic or lacking when it is needed. this will tell you more about your relationships too, and its rather important as venus rules your sidereal 7th house. venus saturn conjunction needs looking into also.

im still looking at your chart in terms of the dynamic with your brother and what can be done, post his dob info if you can. thx
July 19, 2020 at 19:12
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user DEEP SIGH, who already deleted profile on this website:
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I’m sorry for what happening to you :24: .
July 19, 2020 at 14:21
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user themagi, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Well your own chart suggests fated shadow work with Pluto in the 12 of the subcosncious....and Vertex and Chiron in the 8th of the shadow. Without knowing anything else about you, those 3 ingredients would suggest, here is a person who has some karmic wounds to deal with in this life.

Your brother has Chiron in the 4th....which is inline with what you said about him feeling jealous of you perhaps, as a kid.

He has Juno on his South Node which probably gives him an air of "innocence" to most people who know him......which also goes in line with your own desire to defend him.....and the fact your parents turned a bling eye.

I´d need a clearer look at both charts....it´s sometimes hard to really see the aspects in these astrothemes screenshots. It´d be important to see it with all minor aspects and the basic asteroids aspects too....in my experience a lot of crucial information is there.


You may get further information by checking asteroids like Nessus asteroid (connected to abuse), Karma....and others....that help tell broader stories about a chart.


But the most important thing is that you leave analysis sort of aside........and focus 100% on LOVING YOURSELF as if your life dependended on it. You need to vibrationally leave this sort of consciousness of abuse out of your life FOR GOOD.

As someone who is also prone to stocholm syndrome, and rescuing people that are close but who have been abusive...........it´s doubly important to take this very very seriously.......since our own empathic hearts will do all sorts of things to dissuade us from looking at the situation clearly - no one wants to arrive at the conclusion they were abused by those who claimed to love them................and that sort of wound can cut someone deep in one´s soul.

You need to energetically disentangle yourself from the very potential of this happening agaain. That may include stopping all contact with your brother (id highly advise this).....and facing emotional wounds inside your energetic field.........and connect you karmically to some of these unprocessed angers, hurts etc.


All the best to you. You are gonna pull through. Stay focused on loving the lovely innocent child you were....who didn´t get the love she deserved. Use analysis and mental strategies only if absolutely needed...........these wounds are matters of the HEART first and foremost.........you need mothering.......not detective work..........you need a hug.....not an answer why so much.............you need him out of your life.............and IN with amazing, loving people that prove to your subconscious you are worth more than the family you got.

As someone with family issues myself.......I´d urge you to never feel guilty about seeing them in a negative light. That is often needed to really heal. Allow yourself the anger and indignation.......but be smart about it. Toxic, troubled people........are best to be kept at a distance.


Also be VERY aware of what is happening in your mental body even as you are away from your brother. What thoughts, feelings and emotions does your mind churn connected to him? Address those, make sure they are pure and allow you mental safety.
July 19, 2020 at 11:39
(Capricorn) aventurine
Here´s my chart :
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