I’m over it.

June 11, 2020 at 15:43 (UT/GMT)
(Virgo) RiaRia4
I’m over it.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for over two years now, we live together and have been raising my kids together (from a previous relationship). I’m actually shocked we’re not married yet or at least engaged. I’ll be 27 this year and I’m over the wait. He’s 24 so he’s not staring 30 in the eyes like I am. What’s going on? Jupiter is the ruler of my 7th house.
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June 12, 2020 at 08:26
(Sagittarius) Sus » RiaRia4
I have to agree with Peter here.
Ultimatum Kills a relationship, if not sooner, later Will. Been there done that.
I think this guy is already committed. 24 years, lots of single and no kids women and he chose to BE with you.
Plus, he haven´t been through second Saturn return yet. If that matters at all.
And yes, people make a lot of fuss to marriage thing. I was married once. Don´t know if would go through a second one. I´m in a relationship and feel committed to it and don´t even share home with my SO. Does that mean we are doomed? As long we love and respect each other, it works.
This 24 years guy has been a father to your kids. What else can you ask for?
Enjoy what you have.
June 12, 2020 at 06:33
(Taurus) nutelina » hh
You just had to smother it didn´t you? :2: :4:

Which post? Well one here for example but now I see you are preaching something to Pete Davis which he clearly doesn´t like :4: It seems you like to get on peoples nerves!

That said, be careful with Sun-Asc. The Asc. really lives the sign, the Sun has some distance to it, it´s rather superficial, the ascendent literally "lives" what you think about. It´s similar to the moon but even less visible. If you want to be responsible you might be careful there. I´ve had the same thing with Cancer Sun, wanted to smash the guys face. Sun is like the super ego perhaps, it´s very general and thus far from reality, the asc. well like I said I think they are truly living it, it´s what they really are but it´s also largely subconcious. What do you think about that?
June 12, 2020 at 06:22
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » RiaRia4
System message: Post has been written by user Davis212, who already deleted profile on this website:
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"Maybe I should’ve been more specific rather than short. I would never give him an ultimatum. He has been a complete blessing in my life and to my children."

Thanks for the clarifications, :-).

"He definitely wants to get married, and that’s what’s frustrating, that’s why I don’t understand why we’re not even engaged yet. Its something I’ve always dreamt of, as a lot of people do, and I understand that it isn’t that way for everyone. I just get in my head and think... there HAS GOT to be some ´hold up´ in my shaft that I’m not seeing, and if there is I wanted to know what it was and how to work on it."

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you or your chart as it regards love. Actually, you have been "blessed by life" by having (in Whole Sign Houses) a 3rd house Leo Venus trine/sextile your 7th house Sagittarius North Node and your 1st house South Node.

Having a Sagittarius Descendant means that Jupiter is its ruler. And that 7th Lord is placed in the 5th house of romance in the very romantic sign of Libra. This "7th Lord (and being Jupiter) in the 5th house" combination, is a VERY auspicious and wonderful one to have!!

Then you are also a very romantic Pisces Moon too, besides a Leo Venus.

Nothing wrong with your placements at all as it regards your love life. In fact, they are just awesome!!

You just need to understand that people are different and have different preferences and ways to see things. That´s why communication is THE foundation of any relationship.

He might think, for example, that it is better to wait longer for getting married - in the case that what you say is what he truly feels/believe: that getting married is something he wants to do.

This society has conditioned many false beliefs and/or expectations into us. One of them being that a woman must wait for a man to propose. Why does it need to be that way? Why to "wonder" when is he going to do it - or whether or not he is going to do it - instead not just sitting down with him and having a nice, honest, and deep conversation about it?

Communication - a very honest, straightforward, and mutually empathic one - is the only way to keep any relationship alive and working well.

Talk to him and just tell him what you want and ask him what he wants, but don´t push him or make him wrong if he thinks or feels differently. Try to understand each other and show empathy for one another.
June 12, 2020 at 05:14
(Taurus) Morena_Lu » RiaRia4
I just wanted to help you if I can, that is what I would do, I would have some nice conversation, I always have one qoute on my mind:

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn´t, then it was never meant to be."

:)

I know because when I calculated for you -you didn´t have some numbers (6 /venus is one of them)
Maybe I am wrong, but I saw that people without 6 often feel like they are not loved enough, most of the time they suffer in love, unrequited love is often a problem, so they feel alone and when they are in a relationship. Seven is about freedom, how to be alone and still ok,it is not really easy to combine energy of 6(Venus) and 7(Uranus), it is like you should learn to give a lot of freedom to your partner(not to cheat on you) but to develop himself in a relationship with you..7 is also friendship, some kind of strong bond that is based on mutual respect..
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June 12, 2020 at 05:02
(Virgo) RiaRia4 » Morena_Lu
Thank you so much for answering my question AND giving me advice! How do I combine the energy of 6 & 7? Also how do I know what my 6(Venus) lesson is?
June 12, 2020 at 05:01
(Virgo) rohini moon » hh
I´m just reading your posts now ..excellent points you made in all...

Especially this, "if a woman retains her power by giving a man an ultimatum, if he loves her and respects her he will comply. if he hops to a different flower, he just did you a favor by not wasting your time. "

But I already knew you were smart long before this :3:
June 12, 2020 at 04:55
(Taurus) Morena_Lu » RiaRia4
“A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.”

It is not easy..but you need to talk with him directly, tell him how you feel and how much you are grateful for everything he did/do for you and your kids, but also say that you want something more, talk about what will make you/him happy, how both of you see your relationship in the future, everything is better then guessing.


I wish you the best of luck.
June 12, 2020 at 04:25
(Virgo) RiaRia4
Maybe I should’ve been more specific rather than short. I would never give him an ultimatum. He has been a complete blessing in my life and to my children. He definitely wants to get married, and that’s what’s frustrating, that’s why I don’t understand why we’re not even engaged yet. Its something I’ve always dreamt of, as a lot of people do, and I understand that it isn’t that way for everyone. I just get in my head and think... there HAS GOT to be some “hold up” in my shaft that I’m not seeing, and if there is I wanted to know what it was and how to work on it.
June 12, 2020 at 02:19
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Davis212
System message: Post has been written by user Davis212, who already deleted profile on this website:
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You are not worthy of my time; bye-bye! ;-)
June 12, 2020 at 02:18
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » hh
System message: Post has been written by user Davis212, who already deleted profile on this website:
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The ONLY one talking NONSENSE here and being ridiculously religious about it is YOU, buddy. I won´t waste my time in a man blinded by religion; thank you very much. Have a nice day; I am done with you.
June 12, 2020 at 02:13
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Davis212
System message: Post has been written by user hh, who already deleted profile on this website:
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you are the exception if you have your stuff together. that was my point. if a man is young and directionless and not taking a relationship to the next step, he needs a good kick in the butt and to be told the reality of the situation. you keep applying this to yourself as if the world revolves around you. your like 50 something so it obviously doesnt apply. some young men need rules and guidelines as they feel very lost, good for you for being such an upstanding man. ill give you a pat on the back.

and dont put quotes around things i didnt say. basically all you say is no no no thats not how MY life worked out.

the philosphy is not even mine. its biblical and was set in place to protect the marriage. good luck if you think yourself wiser than God. the ultimatum is something i added as again, some men need a swift kick to get things going.

the other 3/4 of your response is utter non-sense and illogical not even worthy of a response. im not going to have a discussion with you because you seem to be a ´my way or the highway kind of person´. you continue to call me or at least my post stupid but fail to state why. its stupid i guess because it doesnt fit to your experience.

you also contradict yourself by saying ´its their individual responsibility to be financially independent´ but then go on to pat yourself on the back because you took care of someone elses kids. you can argue it wasnt financial but time is just as valuable as money in a busy days schedule.

...you basically have admitted to two failed long term unions yet stubbornly insist that ´your way´ is the absolute best way. and anything different must be stupid and silly. its a tough sell. you virtue-signal in other threads as a man for the persecuted but when it comes to christians, you are unaccepting. they are blinded by religion. hypocrisy.
June 12, 2020 at 01:49
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Davis212
System message: Post has been written by user Davis212, who already deleted profile on this website:
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And I will say this once again: if any woman gives me an "ultimatum" instead of talking things out and respecting my viewpoints too, I would dump her ass on the spot!!
June 12, 2020 at 01:33
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Davis212
System message: Post has been written by user Davis212, who already deleted profile on this website:
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And this silly and very stupid idea that "A man is the ´provider´ and the one responsible for his family" is just that; a very misguided, silly and stupid concept we have been dragging along for the past centuries.

A family and their safety is something that is the responsibility of BOTH, not just the man´s. Both being economically independently, is the smartest and wisest thing to do, especially for the woman.

A marriage or an union is a TEAM effort; not the "man´s job".

But of course, it is totally understood that someone has to take care of the kids, especially while they are still babies. But that is an arrangement that each couple needs to decide how to deal with based on their own particular job and life scenario.

In my case, it was a shared responsibility because we both were self-employed. But I took care of everything in the last 4-5 months of my partner´s pregnancy and up to one year after it. Then we started to share the responsibility, both in terms of taking care of my princess daughter, and in terms of the finances of the household.

So it is a matter of using common sense and working as a TEAM.
June 12, 2020 at 00:57
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » nutelina
System message: Post has been written by user Davis212, who already deleted profile on this website:
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"It doesn´t have to be a marriage contract but if you would invest a lot of money together, say in a house, what if you wouldn´t want to be together anymore? How would you deal with the assets and all that? That might be more important than you think."

Yes, Nutelina, I fully agree on that point; some form of legal protection is needed for both in some cases. And my ex partners and me did just that in many occasions. Of course, that making sure that both are legally protected, is the wise thing to do. But that can occur without being married. And many unmarried couples (especially artists) are doing just that daily. And they are very happy and stable.
June 12, 2020 at 00:52
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » hh
System message: Post has been written by user Davis212, who already deleted profile on this website:
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"you are most likely the exception to the rule."

No, I am mostly definitely, definitely not. My case of not believing in conventional marriage is shared by thousands of individuals around the world! A simple google search would prove that to you. So no; my case is one that is also a very, very common one.

"this rule i laid out for people that are feeling trapped. in poor corners of the world where this shacking up trap is more prevalent and in relationships that involve children, clear and definite rules and ultimatums need to be laid out for both peoples benefit, and also the childrens."

No, no need for "rules" or "ultimatums" at all! That´s just your opinion; not necessarily a fact. Let´s agree to disagree, :-).

"if a man already has his ducks in a row, the ultimatum concept wont even enter the discussion, as the woman can clearly see it."

No "proof of love" is ever needed. This man from the op has been there with her for TWO YEARS taking care of HER kids. That´s more than proof in my dictionary. Needing the desire for getting married as "proof of love" or commitment, is actually very silly and stupid, in my opinion. But we can agree to disagree.

"...and if a man has a healthy ego but only has, say, half his ducks in a row, and loves the woman, he will gladly accept the ultimatum because he sees it is in both of their best interest long term. its not about YOU. the woman has more to lose, especially if she has kids."

She has absolutely nothing to lose at all. In this time and age even without marriage and in most countries, a man is held legally responsible for his kids/family even if it isn´t a legal marriage. This ultimatum thing is just bullshit from my perspective..

"the kind of ultimatum were talking about here involves context to the OP, not your personal unique situation. the context is that of a woman with two kids and perhaps feeling a bit trapped or stuck."

She has absolutely NO reasons to feel "trapped" unless she wishes a man to provide economic security for her. Which is NOT his job to do; it is THEIR individual responsibility to be financially independent, and to help each other while being financially independent. He has been there with her for 2 long years taking care of HER kids. No reason to feel trapped at all.

"if she wasnt feeling trapped she would simply leave him and look for better and not be looking to the stars for help."

See my replies above. It is simply a matter of asking him if he believes in marriage and what he thinks about it. And if their goals are different, then to decide whether or not they want to continue in the relationship. Anything else is to force her beliefs on him; and that´s unethical in my dictionary.

"the ultimatum doesnt involve jewelry, fancy cars and clothes."

STILL, is silly and very stupid from my perspective. So let´s agree to disagree; disagreeing is a healthy part of life.

"we are literally talking: is the man responsible, hold a job, loyal. if those requirements make you run for the hills, then well, no comment. haha."

Those requirements have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with marriage; absolutely nothing at all; zero, zip, nada. And I lived with my partner for 12 long years!!! Raised HER kids - which became my own - gave them a good education (one of them an engineer, the one one an officer in the military and with a master degree), and gave all of my family a great life, and all without any need for marriage.

Commitment has absolutely nothing to do with marriage; nothing at all.
June 11, 2020 at 21:00
(Libra) leorising » ram_goat
ah I remembered something in that sense ... :68:
June 11, 2020 at 20:53
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » nutelina
System message: Post has been written by user hh, who already deleted profile on this website:
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which one of my posts made you think that?

maybe your´e just projecting ;)
June 11, 2020 at 20:52
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » ram_goat
System message: Post has been written by user hh, who already deleted profile on this website:
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thanks. the ultimatum depends on the context and the state of ones ego evolution.
but yeah that word "ultimatum" is serious. but serious words are needed in desperate times.
June 11, 2020 at 20:49
(Aries) ram_goat » leorising
Yslas said he wanted to date a transvestite, you advised him to look for a woman to marry.

no, that wasn´t quite what I told him...
June 11, 2020 at 20:45
(Libra) leorising » ram_goat
I think you could choose a side and stay.
when user Yslas said he wanted to date a transvestite, you advised him to look for a woman to marry.
now that we are guiding in this way, do you want to blame the scorpion pluto?
#ariesputtingfire #ariesram #consopinion :75: :171:
:68:
June 11, 2020 at 20:41
(Aries) ram_goat » nutelina
ditto. I mostly dislike other aries, generally.
June 11, 2020 at 20:39
(Taurus) nutelina » hh
Btw you know I wasn´t expecting you to be such a nice guy. I thought you were an arrogant prick :2:

Nice to get to know you.
June 11, 2020 at 20:31
(Aries) ram_goat » hh
you are talking too much sense for this place, lately.

another variation, known to my great great grandparents:

"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

Probably some variation of this is written down on an ancient Egyptian scroll somewhere,
thousands of years ago, or on some Sumerian clay tablet still lying hidden in the mud on the banks of the Euphrates River, 5000 years older than the Egyptian scroll.

What need is there for commitment.. but then kids from a previous..err "relationship"
is also telling much about her capacity for commitment.

Let me guess.. 2 of the pluto in scorpio generation talking here.. "making it real".. letting the "true self" be born.

If a ring is what you want, then it´s ultimatum time, even though ultimatums are bad, bad, bad in relationships, self delusion is far worse.

simple common sense, no astro required..

The "Clue Fairy" says hello...

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June 11, 2020 at 19:17
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » Davis212
System message: Post has been written by user hh, who already deleted profile on this website:
=====
"If ANY woman were to give me an ultimatum about marriage, I would dump her ass on the spot!! "

you are most likely the exception to the rule. this rule i laid out for people that are feeling trapped. in poor corners of the world where this shacking up trap is more prevalent and in relationships that involve children, clear and definite rules and ultimatums need to be laid out for both peoples benefit, and also the childrens.

if a man already has his ducks in a row, the ultimatum concept wont even enter the discussion, as the woman can clearly see it.

and if a man has a healthy ego but only has, say, half his ducks in a row, and loves the woman, he will gladly accept the ultimatum because he sees it is in both of their best interest long term. its not about YOU. the woman has more to lose, especially if she has kids.



the kind of ultimatum were talking about here involves context to the OP, not your personal unique situation. the context is that of a woman with two kids and perhaps feeling a bit trapped or stuck. if she wasnt feeling trapped she would simply leave him and look for better and not be looking to the stars for help.
the ultimatum doesnt involve jewelry, fancy cars and clothes.

we are literally talking: is the man responsible, hold a job, loyal. if those requirements make you run for the hills, then well, no comment. haha.
June 11, 2020 at 19:08
(Taurus) nutelina » Davis212
I very much agree with Peter, marriage doesn´t really add anything, if people want to be together they will. You are lucky he likes you with your kids which aren´t his. However once it comes to money, or shared resources like a house, then you need to think long and hard and define something on paper because when it is in black and white people really know what they are getting into. It doesn´t have to be a marriage contract but if you would invest a lot of money together, say in a house, what if you wouldn´t want to be together anymore? How would you deal with the assets and all that? That might be more important than you think.
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