Best path in life for him? - Discussions, questions

Astro-Seek.com » annmarie System message: Post has been written by user jerrynna, who already deleted profile on this website:
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<<I think i have always be so responsible if my life, it confuses me why he does not get it?.>>

That was the same with my mom too. She simply couldn´t understand why I turned out so differently than how she had raised me all these years... I have to admit, I was a mess. And my mom is a responsible person, like you are, and street smart, she can handle every difficult situation that comes her way. I just had to learn (and still am learning) some lessons the harder / in a different way. I wish I was more like she is in many situations. But I am not.

And I think that´s good. And it´s also good your son is different than you. It´s a big opportunity for both of you to grow.


<<and maybe i have too much mum guilt>>

Yes, maybe you have. I would suggest you seek some professional help for yourself first and see from there what makes sense. You could look for a good counselor that fits your situation.
I have no personal experience with children myself but I am always astonished how much single parents are able to take. I can barely handle my own life, really cannot imagine having a child in trouble on top of it without having some help and guidance.
So, no shame in taking some help for YOURSELF first.

annmarie » jerrynna Thank you for honest words. I have been good cop\bad cop with him for over 11 years now. Before that he was a happy boy!.He has never understood consequences( which is so weird for me to understand). I am trying to support him,as lack of support from his father is tough...I know i have done /doing all can to support him from love...And i have stated that he has to stand on his own to feet.

I have done too much in the past for him.I told him or lectured many times to him that life is tough if you make bad choices,blah,blah.I think i have always be so responsible if my life, it confuses me why he does not get it?.

I think your points are really my sentiments, and maybe i have too much mum guilt...Thank you appreciated very much.

Astro-Seek.com » annmarie System message: Post has been written by user jerrynna, who already deleted profile on this website:
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I am sorry but wouldn´t it be better if he himself would seek help? I just don´t see how a concerned and lovely mom, like you seem to be, is going to be able to make all the difference... Isn´t this too much pressure to put on your shoulders?
I get that he is your son. Ok, honestly, I have no idea, I don´t have kids but I have a mom. A very super involved one. Who tried to help me in every way she could but what ultimately helped me was when she told me that she had reached her limit and if I didn´t get my shit together (it was at a time when I went back home to live with her with no job, no perspective and no real motivation to change anything) I would end up in the streets because she couldn´t take this any longer.
I have to say, that was brutal. She took the risk (I had been depressed my whole life with a few suicide attempts). It didn´t help to make our relationship better. And I knew she meant business.
I got scared. And by being scared, I figured out that it was all up to me, I had it in my hands. I had to make a decision to either try to live my life or to see things getting worse.
She helped me find a job soon after (a very shitty one but at least I had some money to move out) and I found my independence. Never went back to live with her again. I know I could but I don´t need to anymore. I was at the same age your son is now.
Just saying, I know you are going to continue to help him (which is absolutly kind) but maybe consider also making it clear to him that this is not the solution and that he will need to find his own way eventually.
Try to reenforce his sense of independence (what greater gift is there), he needs to learn that he will have to take the consequences of his actions, that he will be fine whatever happens but he needs to grow up. And that you will be here for him but not at all costs.
It seems like he is dragging you down, at least financially and emotionally. And as much as you are his mother, you are your own person first.

I hope I wasn´t insensitive and sorry for being so opinionated. Really just wanted to give this a different view.

Wish you both all the best! x

annmarie » ZynCitrus He was great at football and singing when young.Then testosterone kicked in, and he disappeared.( in his nature).

annmarie » Trevor77 Totally agree.many thanks

annmarie » ancient_astrology I have looked into Shadow healing,it worked for a friend.He is very spiritual,just broken. I am very grateful for all the time and effort from yourself and everyone who looked at this chart....I am deleting the addiction bit.Kindest regards to you all.

Trevor77 » ancient_astrology The good thing bout this forum, is everybody sees a different piece of the puzzle, even if someone else doesnt like your insight, being a scorpio your gonna notice something useful that will help

ancient_astrology » annmarie Do what you can. And brace yourself. Next year is going to be even rougher. However, if you continue to show your love and set up some networks of help, he could eventually really use them to his benefit. If you take away one item from what I´ve said, it´s this: Start trying to get help now. Real help. Don´t preach at him but show him love and understanding.

I don´t know, but next year could be the bottom and then he´ll rise. He´ll have a chance to begin a new life in 2021. That´s one possibility. I can´t say for sure that´s what will happen. The other possibility is that he just sinks next year and stays down for a long time. He could even go to prison or worse. I hope not.

Good luck and don´t give up on him! I know you won´t.

annmarie » ancient_astrology OMG,you hit the nail on the head Ancient! The main problem have been drugs and debt,I didn´t want to broadcast the addictions,but i feel its only fair to be brutally honest.He has lost all his friends through this, by owing them money. I paid this off,heavy but i had to help on some level.He has some deep issues going on.We have a brilliant relationship,but i cannot walk his path for him.WOW just wow.Thank you.

ancient_astrology » ancient_astrology Oh, and when I say have him reach out to social groups, try to make sure it´s something "positive" (which I know is a loaded term and very subjective). He´s an adult so there´s only so much you can steer him that way. Obviously if he gets with the wrong crowd (a possibility here), it will make things worse. I don´t mean these people have to be choir boys. I´m not talking against a bunch of kids who might smoke a little pot...I am saying just try to steer him away from truly bad elements.

ancient_astrology All I am going to say on this is what follows. This goes beyond the torpor one often finds in people his age who just can´t figure out what to do in life. It needs to be dealt with aggressively and not just "well, he´ll get over it one of these days."

In terms of career path (if that´s what you mean), he has the ruler of the 10th house Mars in the 9th place. However it is the malefic out of sect and is in depression in Libra. The ruler of his second house is in the 12th.

Some people are going to tell you the placements in the 9th and 12th are signs of a "spiritual" occupation. Although the 9th house placement might indeed suggest that, I´m afraid that any ventures down that road would lead to fanaticism....or at least to no good, at this point in his life. In any case, any suggesting that he should become a spiritual worker is bullshit, plain and simple.

His general life path is represented by that Saturn in the third. I am afraid it is in adversity there. Did he suffer from some traumatic event from siblings or friends...could be emotional but more than likely it was also something physical. That´s one thing or that could be interpreted differently. Being precise is always difficult when I don´t have the person in front of me to sort things out. It becomes a sort of guess among a few likely possibilities.


I am soon going to quit getting involved in these astrological discussions on the forum (they tend to get people angry at me), however I had to speak to this one. I am a parent, and I know how much you love and want to help your child. My suggestion is to treat this seriously. Give him a lot of love and seek out help. Seek out professional help. Don´t seek out dingbat New Age help and, for the most part, that includes most astrologers. Astrology can only depict what´s going on. There may be some people well versed in magic that might be able to help but they are few and far between. There are probably some shamans that could help but again, finding them is difficult, and there are a lot of outright con artists as well as Germans wearing Feathers (white people acting like they are aboriginal witch doctors) who may believe what they are doing but are self-deluded, will really fuck up your son, and who won´t mind to fleece your bank account.

All this to say when I say "professional" I mean professional. I am also serious about giving and surrounding him with as much love as you can....and understanding. He´s in an 11th house profection year, so it would be very therapeutic for him to reach out to friends and alliances. Perhaps he can join a club that interests him or some kind of social support group. This is very important. Don´t let him isolate himself. Next year, after his birthday, is going to be really tough for him. However, lots of times we have to hit the bottom before we rise. This could very well be true for him and if he gets the help he needs, two years from now he could be much better. He´s having a rough time...a really rough time.

fishscales » ZynCitrus I have one more question Mrav, regarding this:

"2 in 12 - material security"

Wouldn´t the ruler of the 2nd in the 12th almost lead more to a kind of material "insecurity“?

I picure the dissolution of finances, hazy and amorphous values, sorrow through money, etc.

Although I guess it could also mean money is earned through hidden affairs...

I´m curious to hear your rationale behind saying this placement would indicate material security

I´m not asking these questions to challenge, just to learn and to hear other perspectives...And perhaps challenge my OWN viewpoints...

What astrological tradition do you work with the most? It kind of sounds like a mixture between modern Western and Vedic. I´ve always been curious about that approach.

I could be totally wrong in my analysis, however.

At any rate, I´ve read your interpretations around the forums, and I enjoy them.

fishscales » ZynCitrus Thanks Mrav.

I don´t want to turn this thread into a debate about houses, but I am at the moment torn between Placidus and whole signs. (Although Placidus currently remains my "default".)

I have found relevance in both systems regarding my own chart.

I guess you could say I´m in somewhat of an astrological crisis...

The bit on Jupiter from the previous post was interesting too. I´m inclined to agree, but somehow I see a planet like Saturn as ruler of the first in the 12th as being more difficult than Jupiter ruling the first and being in the 12th... Although I do see and understand what you mean regarding Jupiter and expansion.

I am also not one to believe that the 12th house is always "bad", but do believe it can cause some real problems, depending on one´s level of consciousness.

I appreciated your response though, it´s definitely food for thought.

You seem more technically astute than I am, it´s something I´d like to improve on.

Trevor77 » annmarie I saw this that his father loves him yea, but maybe too harsh in how he treats him,

so there ya, considerations so far are careers in either Arts, Government, someone who works with secret information.

annmarie » Trevor77 He was a terrible communicator..Shouted a lot rather than talk calmly.I have no doubt that he loved my son.But was never constructive.

Trevor77 with father and son, its a strange one, as his fathers venus makes many trines to him, but your sons venus doesnt like him at all.

his father seems the eccentric type, unpredictable in his ways, his pluto in leo opposite his ascendent can make him demanding and very authoritive towards him

ZynCitrus » fishscales If you want to use whole sign it would be like this
https://imgur.com/a/jTedxfF

in that case:
1st in 1st - owner goes it´s own way, regardless what other say or want from him, emphasized businesses-owner, field described by planet - so electrician??

2 in 12 - material security

3 in 9 - high class intellectual usually educated abroad

4 in 12 - living far away, living distanced life, family members health in danger

5 in 12- secret love affairs, adultery, emotional relationships complicated

6 in 3 - job requires short distant commuting, sensitive arms, fingers and lungs.

7 in 12 - same as before

8 in 12 - ill placement for health, prone to criminal activity, but also can be good in psychology, neuro surgery...

9 in 12 - high class doctor, priest, people who travel across the world,

10 in 11 - working in large organisations, possible high ranking there

11 in 12 - same as before (first interpretation placidus)

12 in 3 - espionage, or someone who can get secret information. Mystery Novel-writers. Good actor able to express any feeling.


This to me does not sound like her son ... It´s with reason that placidus use is most common. Unequal house system has it´s meaning, it emphiseze where we are weak, which area needs attention, problematic area

ZynCitrus » fishscales no, because Jupiter just support whatever happens - he is not enemy to any other planet plus - Pis is "hidden" inside the first house, ruler is in 12th, and we have Saturn
Jupiter is not always beneficial, he expands - if there´s planet making problems, he expands problem in that way supporting that other planet

annmarie » ZynCitrus Thank Mrav, I know the 12th is heavy for him, and i will absorb the placements,I am very grateful.

fishscales » ZynCitrus "12th in 1st - mystical people prone to hidden actions, but very bad position because it brings mental and health problems"

Regarding the second part...I agree with this to a point, but wouldn´t Jupiter in domicile mitigate this a bit..??

annmarie » fishscales Thanks Fishscales, It´s funny i see 5th like that.I just cannot be objective with my Childrens charts,

fishscales » annmarie "He has a awful relationship with his father.A lot of anger."

Probably represented by Mercury, ruling the 5th house of the father, square Mars and Saturn.

I used to subscribe to the notion that the 10th house ruled the father, but I´ve since moved away from that.

I think the 10th rules the more authorative parent, whether that be the father or mother, and perhaps authority in general.

ZynCitrus ruler of the 1 in 12 - mystical person, with mystical aptitude, person prone to do detective work, secret government work, espionage, can find happiness in closed institutions like hospitals, churches but even hotels. This kind of people usually find themselves in trans-ocean lands.

ruler of the 2 in 7 - earning money trough partnerships

3d in 11th - popularity and relationships bring succes

4th in 11th - many gatherings and even business deals in house environment
5th in 11th - from friendship to love

6th in 7th -secret love affair at work place

7th in 12 - brings partner who will cheat, partner with mental problems, partner prone to alcohol, and also artistic partner

8th in 11th - success with investments and managing other peoples money, can make strong connections with government.

9th in 9 - strong indicator of life abroad and many distant travels,

10th in 12 - high position in closed institutions like hospitals, laboratory, hotel manager, jail manager

11 in 12th - friends become enemies, secret affairs, friends become lovers

12th in 1st - mystical people prone to hidden actions, but very bad position because it brings mental and health problems



Hope you get something from it :D
To me it looks like government work behind the scenes, many positions show just that - even 12th is Capricorn which is government

on the other side, private life could be problematic

annmarie » Trevor77 No he used too live with him...we divorced when he was 4yrs old...His father 28th June 1950 Romford Essex. no birth time.but he traveled the world for work.And always had a drink problem,and hip defect from birth if that helps...

fishscales » Trevor77 The 10th/12th link is an interesting, if not slightly contradictory, group of influences.

I think it could work out well with the some finessing though.

Jupiter in the 12th, especially in Sagittarius, is a good placement too.. Almost operates as a "guardian angel" type of placement. Bodes well for career, since Jupiter is ruler of the 10th.

Either way, I don´t really see a "take the big bad world by storm" career path here. Probably something more subtle.