Question about my love life - Discussions, questions

Helen.Pahlavi » Lib_8 I like what Vanille said. You are not alone with such feelings about men and difficulty to meet someone. Not only men can be assholes. Many women the same crap. Even worse.

Lib_8 » Vanille Hi Vanille!

Power to you! I like how you know what you want!

You understand what I was trying to say. I just don’t want assholes! 😀 But apparently as Davis mentions I may have tough luck attracting non assholes!! Lol

Lib_8 » Davis212 Thanks Davis212.

I read up on the things does explain a lot of things to me..especially about some fears I have about love and relationships in general.

I’d like to think heading into my 35th bday soon was that this time was for me to be protected from a bad situation in the hopes of finding someone good as I get older. Someone years ago who had looked at my chart and palm had mentioned that I would marry late and based on my chart that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

I’m also kinda glad this happened. I feel like I have matured more, I’ve used this time to focus on work and getting my life in order. I have no regrets and with the people whom I’ve had relationships with. They were not worth me feeling that someone got away. So overall with the tough partnership placements that seem to be in my chart, I feel ok and just trying to feel hopeful for the future!

Vanille » GoldenLion5 I don´t think she wants the perfect guy, just not an asshole. I had the same issue with friends so I get it... People who seem chill, you let them in your life, then they screw you over... That over and over and over again...

I personally refrained from dating as I´m not interesting in dating. I become interested only when I run into someone who triggers something in me. Same with sex, I stay virgin till I meet the right girl, not because of morals per se, just that I´m pretty much asexual till I meet someone that triggers something in me (this makes me naturally hard to get and monogamous, I´m like a stone whenever crushless, and to make it even worse, others are intimidated by me a lot thanks to my ascendant) I think love is very tough when your brain and heart are similar to mine... Nearly impossible, but I know I can love very hard once I do, that´s why I won´t give up yet. Being able to experience that, and actually get it in return for once would be so amazing.

I know some placements point at craving love and to be cared for (some users told me) but it´s mainly platonic. I want real friends who stick with me through thick and thin, and understand when I need a break, which I need from time to time. While most assume I´m introverted, I do in fact gain energy from being around people, but at some point I get overwhelmed and then I need to be alone... That´s why I would prefer to live alone, even in a longterm relationship and never have kids (my crush is the same in this so that´s good) and some think it´s weird that I still want pets but it´s not the same for me.

I didn´t mean to ramble about myself here lmao I just ended up lost in deep thoughts after my reply and was like why not share it, might be interesting for astrological/science purposes lol

Davis212 Research "Venus conjunct Saturn". Then "Moon square Venus". Then Chiron in the 7th house. If you take a look at your chart using Whole Houses, it would make more sense to you. See attached chart in Whole Houses.

Venus conjunct Saturn in the 12th. Saturn is fear, restrictions, etc (in its lower manifestations). Venus is love, self-esteem, self-confidence,etc. Put the two together and you have what you will read in the link below.

Saturn conjunct Venus in the hidden 12th in the hidden sign of Scorpio can attract "bad luck" in partnership. And you naturally mistrust the intentions of those who approaches you romantically, as Scorpio tends to be very suspicious. Men can "sense" this, and want to pull away.

Of course, having Pluto there in the 12th in his own sign, can make you very good at recognizing the ones with ill intentions, also.

Moon (feelings/emotions) square Venus, can also create a sort of "tension" or uneasiness regarding romantic approaches. It can make you sort of hesitant to approach a man romantically; it can make you nervous. See the other link below.

Chiron in the 7th represents wounds regarding partnership.

So you have 3 aspects/placements creating that difficulty for you: Venus conjunct Saturn, Venus square Moon, and Chiron in the 7th. Read all you can about the 3 of them, and note down everything that you feel that applies to you.


https://new.theastrologer.com/perso…


https://sasstrology.com/2012/08/…

Lib_8 » GoldenLion5 Thanks so much for this detailed reply.

I agree relationships are all about balancing things, compromising and moving forward. Each of my past relationship experiences have taught me something and I feel blessed to have gone through them. I mean it hurts when things don’t work out but it’s better that things break at this stage than if it happenstance after marriage. Speaking of marriage I’ve never been married but in my family I’ve grown up with loving relationships whether it was with my grandparents (married 50 years) and my own parents. My sister also just got married a few years back. My dad provided me and my sister such a loving stable childhood and we look upto him. So I view my childhood very fortunately.


Human behaviour and interactions have also fascinated me and that lead me to studying Psychology. People seek me out to vent or at times I can understand what someone is going through. That makes me feel good but then I also found in my relationships I felt like I’m giving more and not receiving the love and support when I need it. This used to be a trend with some of my friendships too! I guess that’s the Libra in me just wanting everything to be fair!

Fingers crossed I will encounter good people in the future.

GoldenLion5 » Lib_8 I think this is what Uranus in Taurus and Saturn in Capricorn is doing is bringing relationships down to the ground, both being earth signs. You have to remember Uranus in Pisces, Aquarius in Chiron, (Water, Air), and Uranus in Aries and and Pisces in Chiron (Fire, Water), and the last Saturn in Earth was Saturn in Virgo back in 2007 and 2008.

Relationships haven´t really been grounded. They´ve been more about dying. If you listen to the video by the Leo King, he describes what we´ve been experiencing in our lives. It´s been like that for me any way, dying to my ego as the feminine and different things in life. Shedding the old life style, and re-inventing a new life.

You have Jupiter in Capricorn, and your return is next year. Capricorn is the earth. Jupiter in Capricorn is also the masculine, wealth, luck, and power. I wouldn´t doubt possibly you meet someone between now and then and perhaps start something new and more long-term. Earth is usually long-term gains over short-term gains.

The transits are kind of ending the karma in some relationships, and new beginnings the next year.

For finding a good person, you always have to start with yourself, your own emotional, mental, spiritual, health. How your communication skills are, your coping skills, and as you stated Venus in Scorpio is all about deep emotional intimacy, passion, love, and often, most people don´t understand that kind of deep love. It runs far deep in the core, which most feminine I know with it and masculine as well will say the same thing.

I had to figure out myself that no one´s going to understand that dimension of me unless they happen to be a Venus in Scorpio.

You really, have to learn to not react out of emotions, and not take things personally and be emotionally objective when it comes to people in general.

It sounds like perhaps you have learned somewhat that "Letting go." is sometimes what you have to do when someone is not connecting with the Venus in Scorpio. Usually what I´ve found it depends on the masculine´s chart and there own relationship karma with Venus, Mars, Jupiter and how that also plays out in their houses and aspects to certain planets.

Since you´re learning astrology, I would look at your ex´s charts, and see how your aspects were hitting your chart, what houses they were falling in, and what the soul intentions and soul lessons were at the time.

There is no 100% perfect synastry.

Part of it is learning the dynamics of relationships itself through studying a lot about how the masculine and feminie see things differently, and growing and maturing. I´ve had to do this myself.

Than you have to understand the feminine and masculine also have their emotional and mental wounds from past relationships, and of course it only gets healed through relating with them and getting past the deepest fears, which means being patient, understanding, compassionate, listening. I said listening...because often we can be bad listeners.

Also not projecting anything on to the relationship and allowing it to happen and unfold naturally. You can´t force relationships to happen, nor can you make someone like you, love you, and it´s either there or not there.

Just with relationships in general...it´s educational life lesson for us all. We all learn through trial and error, making mistakes, and sometimes for a long-term relationship you have to allow one another to make mistakes.

Relationships are all about growing, evolving, and reaching our full potential. I don´t believe the masculine or feminine per se, just learning as we all go along.

Sometimes we are idiots, screw up, say stupid things, make a mess, and we don´t always like the emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, sexual, and financial pain. It´s all about learning to make smart choices, and first we usually make all the wrong choices in our journey, in order to make all the right ones.

Uranus comes in with those twists and turns, and we have our soul contracts with one another whether it´s for a few minutes on a forum, and hour, a year, or life time.

In my experience, my early childhood, Divorce was the first soul lesson I learned in my first seven years with both my mother and father, and multiple times and fast because of their Sagittarius Sun and Aries Sun.

I´ve learned fire can be fast and furious, and I´ve had to learn to lean into my Saturn in Taurus breaks and slow down and try to avoid making the same mistakes as my parents being the Leo Pluto Generation.

You have to study your chart and your parents and also heal what you learned from them about relationships, because it might have been dysfunctional and part of the issue.

Lib_8 » GoldenLion5 Yes my Venus in Scorpio in the 11th house in my natal chart may be giving me that toughness. When I care about someone I can do anything for them but if they hurt me then I can totally let go. I’m not searching for a perfect guy ians I know there is no such thing as a perfect guy or relationship. My query is more along the lines of seeking some stability and a good person as I’m getting older.

GoldenLion5 I believe the hardest lesson for a Scorpio, is you want to cut everything away and from my experience, it´s a tough lesson to learn in life from dealing with Scorpio´s in the 4th house all my life.

If your killing all your relationships for every negative emotion, negative feelings, and negative thought in ever masculine that comes your way, you end up with a bad habit of divorce, breaking up, and never stay long enough in a relationship to grow, mature, and develop a long-term relationship.

It´s where you might let go of finding the "Perfect Guy", since the "Perfect Guy" never really existed in the first place.

By human nature, the feminine and masculine are creatures of habit. Usually, you exchange on habit for hopefully healthier habits. But really, you will not find one women or man on the earth who doesn´t have an addiction or habit of some sort. And usually throughout your life you indulge in something too much and find out, too much can be quite damaging to self and relationships. We all have our emotional and mental hang ups in life.

Searching for that person who doesn´t, is non-existent.

What you see negative in others, maybe what is negative in yourself. Usually, the more you raise the bar, educate yourself, discipline yourself, naturally those who are really "Toxic" will fall away, while more "Positive" individuals will appear.

With your Scorpio it may be time to stop being so "Tough Love" and "Break them down." or "Break the will" of others to conform to the "Perfect" masculine.

Love isn´t tough, nor is it a fight.