Me & my father.

April 15, 2019 at 09:19 (UT/GMT)
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:

Me & my father.
We don´t get on, my father is fake nice so he can gain.
I don´t take his shit, but at the same time gave up on a lot of times and just ignore.

I decided to make a thread because this morning he was having a go at my mum for being noisy (disabled like he is, he just has a leg missing)
All he could do was moan at her, then go on a rant for around 30 minutes about how he can´t do anything, he has no help and how hard done to he is.
Whilst bringing up the conversation i shared about a friend going through some hardship he said to my mother how i´m part of the weirdos and the idiots.

My father is very illogical and just thrashes like a little baby who cannot have their favorite toy. that is how far reduced from the position of a father he is.

He physically, emotionally & mentally abused all his children and his partner (correction, older sister was preferred out of the 4 children and he was too scared to hit mum, the rest applies though)

So i have done a synastry chart between me and him because i feel so oppositional to him.

I also delved into the deeper side of mine and my fathers Lilith signs because both play a big part.

Key aspects and points of major friction in our synastry i think are relevant. I will edit them to suit a father - son relationship vs the usual love one.

My Mars in Taurus opposite his Sun in Libra.

My Cancer Sun square his Libra Sun.

My Taurus Moon square his Moon.

My Capricorn Saturn square his Libra Moon.

My Moon opposite his Scorpio Neptune.

The description if you change it´s meaning to a father - son relationship, i am the man and my father would be the woman in this description, the feeling of loss is massive, the father i never had.

In this relationship, the man feels a sense of loss. He reaches out to the woman only to discover that she is not there. Instead, he is faced with dreams, illusions, fantasies and battles. The woman may try to change the man and she lives in her own dream world. The relationship can easily turn into a source of disappointment because of the difficulties caused by this aspect.

My Sagittarius Asc square his Uranus.

This is not a good combination for a stable and long-lasting relationship and these two people will find it difficult to work together. The Uranus person will try to change the Ascendant individual´s opinions and the Ascendant individual will not like this. The Ascendant person will not like that Uranus individual is unpredictable and irresponsible. Unless there are several other positive aspects of the relationship, this relationship is unlikely to survive.

I find him unbearably selfish just has he proclaims everyone around him is selfish.

My Venus in Gemini opposite his Jupiter in Sagittarius.

Yeah my ideal for what love is as a son to my father is a belief structure with him, instead of accepting he is my father, it is, but you are supposed to be a good son, it has no end and he goes in circles in order to avoid reality.

There are more aspects but that will do for now.

More importantly though is this amazing description of Lilith in Cancer.
The abusive end of it is my father hit on the head with a nail.

We share Lilith conjunct Asc, mine in Scorpio, his in Cancer both of ours are 12th house, but his is conjunct Mars in Cancer.

This part goes for both me and him. We both have it in late degree´s of the signs too.

Lilith in 12th House

Having Lilith in the 12th house is an extreme position. Don´t expect compromise when such Lilithians have a premonition. No matter the adversity, they will stick to it beyond what many would consider reasonable. They can connect to what is happening before being able to put words on it.

They can make correct prophecies or be blinded by self-fulfilling prophecies and their own illusions. Only time reveals who is right. They are not scared of being martyrs, to suffer abuse or to risk their reputation. They will totally ignore how people will consider them. It just does not matter.

When there is a shortcoming, it can trigger the deepest introspection and isolation. It is a monumental personal breakdown. On the other side, it can trigger the greatest inner breakthrough. A complete liberation of the self and from obsolete paradigms. It is about breaking all the chains towards independence and autonomy.

Lilith in Cancer.

Lilith in Cancer urges person to create domestic and family peace. You like to meet many people in your home in order to have expanded meals with them, whereby you take part in discussions very emotionally and with psychological knowledge. In family matters you are inclined not to recognize things or situations correctly, or you don´t want to admit situations and circumstances because you get enticed by unrealistic opinions very easily. Here Black Moon asks the question about the relation to the mother. It has a karmic sound and is bound to the evolution. The mother may have been known in a past life or The mother is "unknown" but the Soul has chosen this mother for its evolution. Whatever the present mother may represent, give – or not give – will be very important. May she be absent (gone – too busy – dead) or be an overbearing and protective mother, all the awareness will be in relation with the idea of family and dependency. The person is ambivalent in his way to love as he deeply needs a mother and, in the same time, he refuses to be absorbed by her. For the person, to love is already a dependency. The evolution will be done through the emotional plan: "Family I do love you! Family how I hate you!" To be part of the tribe or to refuse the family history, to be oneself a mother or a father, to found or not found a family : all of these are examples of the fear regarding the family with Lilith in Cancer. The person may flee from the dilemma in finding a symbolic family, for instance a community where he can be fed physically and psychically and find a new secured cocoon. In all cases, he must keep his independence, look at his desire or refusal to be part of the family, to find back his origins, even if he feels rejected by the group. With Lilith in Cancer there is a particular place in the family history to be taken by the person. The imagination specific to the sign has to be directed with the tendency to distort reality and therefore to suffer about this. At the beginning of his life, the person has not the sweet secured home he dreamed of. He may either have difficulties in his own home, or be unable to have one, or be unable to keep the one he has. The others force to accept things he does not want. Despite all the problems, the person wants to protect those he loves, to preserve innocent lives, to assume his family duties. The fear to have not done the maximum may become distress. The person remains faithful to some principles and is scared of the mistakes he may do. The respect of other people lot will always be essential. As he keeps a childish background and can´t often go out of secured emotional surroundings by fear of independence, the person´s maturity is difficult to reach. He must lean on traditional values and go ahead. Capricorn – opposite to Cancer – will force to a reflection. The deep ties to those who are loved must stay but must not bind. Stability has to be found in relationships, as the person has to lean on his family, to help her without being imprisoned, invaded and destroyed. On a positive way, Lilith in Cancer gives the gift to probe the depths of people unconsciousness in order to understand their emotional problems, among which some have their origin in childhood. One can either build a home for children who are not its own, or be a teacher, or protect familial properties, or build its own properties, manage a family business or create one. In the past lives, the person might have lived in a self-centered atmosphere, or in a cocoon, afraid of the outside. In fact, the soul had suffered either from an excess or a lack of protection. On the other hand, the soul might have neglected his family, specially the children. If Lilith is between 0° and 2° of Cancer, the unity of the personality built at the end of Gemini will help to build a social or a family unit, or will help to integrate a social or religious unit that must be chosen very carefully. What is started is very important. The person has to let himself to be guided by the unconscious forces he has inside him. That is the way to become a person responsible of his own action and being able to manage his own future. The changes in life will be difficult to do, as they depend on own will and the fear to deceive may completely paralyze the decisions. If Lilith is between 28° and 30°00 of Cancer, the person has "to be born to himself" for an independent life. The awakening of consciousness is done here. Keywords: karmic debts with the family members – sometimes rejection of the childhood or the family (exile) – rejection of vulnerability, of femininity – sentimentally – sexual repression – fantasy – temptation – posessiveness – fertility difficulties (sometimes abortion) – authoritarian and castrating mother – absent or dead mother – nutrition problems.

Lilith in Scorpio.

Lilith in Scorpio may let you be enticed by sexual attractions easily, whereby you subordinate yourself to a more powerful partner or in reverse, or it comes to a mutually making the most of power. In this position thech stage asks for a renunciation, a sacrifice, a deprivation, for the death of something(or someone). Keywords: great interest for enigmas, mysteries, death, for the beyond Very important sexuality which may be transcended through esotericism passionate power – temptation – frustration – material ambition – fantasy – suicidal impulses – magnetism – acute lucidity – transformation or initiation – fascination – nightmares – surpassing of oneself – financial problems – rebirth – for a woman: the vamp, the witch. danger exists that you don´t recognize these powers at all, the own or those of the others. You have to deal with setbacks, accidents and symbolic as well as real deaths, although there are usually opportunities to avoid it before any danger appears. You are maybe addicted to dangers because you want to exceed borders. Possibly you had to make experiences with death in the childhood, but can see the death as an inevitable part of the life due to your large psychological regeneration ability now. It is a strong position activating desires, passions and extreme reactions. Question which are related to life and death wake up either compelling attractions or distress. A very deep mutation of the being must be done on an unconscious level through his life. Rigor, sobriety, deprivation in all life´s field is like death of one´s part. When trials are too heavy, the person may chose death, or tries to suicide. Progressions through different levels, different trials, progressions through beloved persons death, are the person´s program. The authoritarian potential is very strong here. There is also a background of violence, sexuality, and destruction where the person must not fall. Here the danger is to reverse the situation against himself when violence can´t be exerted on others. Links to death are very important. Death fascinates. Sometimes the person may chose to snatch people from death (being a physician doctor, for instance). He also may receive messages from dead persons. But if his Lilith is not well aspected, the person has to be very careful with spiritualism, as lemurs may incorporate his body and drive him crazy. In Scorpio, Black Moon gives the opportunity to always restart with energy. If disease is here, it regenerates,especially when Sun is conjunct to Black Moon. The creativity potential is important: to be an analyst, to practice hypnosis, to handle money. In any case the person as to be honest. The person will always be unable to control the evolution of the house whose cusp is in Scorpio. He will have to accept the events as they come, and will do his best in living them while hoping coming better days. Taurus opposite Scorpio will force the person to hang on to life in order to reach the harmonious life he is dreaming of. This desire will calm down his passionate tendency. Inner roots must not be destroyed like the Scorpio would do. Love of live must be respected and preserved. Life´s values must be understood. In past lives, the soul might have commanded armies, might have been a warrior. Also she might have been soaked in magic and occultism, but not in a good way : rituals, secret practices, initiations where sexuality and religion were mixed and bound to physical or psychic power. The soul might have either lived them with passion or endured them. The environment was destructive causing deep injuries to the soul with buried traumas bound to death, blood, money power and sexuality. She might have free instincts that had either destroyed people or herself. In this life person may be fascinated by this strange world of power, magic, and sexuality as he knows he has something more to learn about himself. He may be using occultism for help in his metamorphosis. Sexuality is part of the lessons. He must be careful with its use together with the use of power under the pain of getting new trials. If Lilith is at the very beginning of Scorpio, the person must change of way. If he does not, he will be stopped. The process will take place many times in his life, and each change will be drastic and will generate distress. The person will have to find an action field and organize his life on good basis. If Lilith is at the very end of Scorpio, the person will have to open himself to new horizons. Each step in his evolution will depend on the way he has evolved during the previous one. He cannot plan.
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April 15, 2019 at 11:21
(Libra) leorising » Liquidized.Mind.LM3992
Yes, this is right way to think about this situation!
April 15, 2019 at 11:19
(Taurus) » leorising
System message: Post has been written by user Liquidized.Mind.LM3992, who already deleted profile on this website:
I have this belief that in order to not bring forwards the past issues i must transform the hidden volatile side of me by accepting my parents for who they are with all flaws involved which i do, but from a more intellectual stand point, i find them very interesting in a way i try to be more objective about the situation.

And the next step is moving on where i cut the final bind that is emotional.

I have had rare outbursts of pure volcanic rage and a disregard for any kind of survival instinct of those involved, in other words, you are better off dead.

I have come to terms with that shitty ugly side of me, of which is just an omen or karma left behind from past trauma.

Long road but it works, it seems to.

I do tread a lighter existence if that is even a thing for an 8th house stellium? But being able to face it and say hey.. that´s some messed up history but it´s not killed me.
April 15, 2019 at 11:11
(Libra) leorising
I do not know when my mother was born but I have a moon in conjunction with chiron and lilith in gemini (11th) opposite to Neptune in Capricorn (6th) I discovered that I was the daughter of a narcissistic mother at age 31 and I healed myself. I was able to feel emotion. My parents are elderly, and I am taking this relationship over time. but I protect myself, I do not expect any love from them, and I avoid thinking that they could be different with me.

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