Does anyone personally have Venus Square Uranus in their natal OR was in a relationship with someone with this aspect?

May 13, 2022 at 01:32 (UT/GMT)
(Virgo) jamarlt
Does anyone personally have Venus Square Uranus in their natal OR was in a relationship with someone with this aspect?
Anyone else with Venus Square Uranus? I´m curious how this presents in other people´s chart. I´d also like your take if you dated, married or was close friends with someone with this in their natal. I´ve added a YouTube clip below of Jewel discussing the aspect. There are elements of her analysis that are shockingly accurate for me. The cheating part doesn´t apply, even though I understand the drive she´s describing here. Experiences are highly valued over most other things.

It sounds silly and slightly embarrassing, but I´m riddled with contradictions here. There´s a drift towards and need for periods of distance with desperate cravings for autonomy while simultaneously being drawn to raw and reality shattering emotional closeness and exposure with another (Aries Moon in 8th Opposite Pluto is described here). I´ve experienced this once and it was both seriously off putting and yet deeply satisfying. Intellectually, I find this wildly impractical and unlikely to even exist short of delusional assessments of reality driven by hormonal manipulation or fleeting situational context. Even the withholding affection stuff - she´s not exactly right about the motivation, but from external observation, it´s a fair point.

I was only mildly aware of this in my last relationship (lasted 10 years) and couldn´t discern whether it was me or the combined energy of the relationship - it did always feel like it took persistent conscious effort to ensure the other felt loved and cared for as I usually required less attachment. Especially if I get enthralled into some aspect of work, learning or investigation - it´s never half ass. Conscious deliberation began to feel like a chore despite how I felt towards her never wavered. There were times I failed miserably in this balancing act, especially when we hit a tragedy constant year - it felt like the relationship only worked through sacrifice.

I´ll end where I began. Anyone else have this aspect in their chart or was in a relationship with someone with this natal aspect? How does it present for you - if it presents at all? For that matter, how did the other interpret it? Last but not least, if you were in a relationship with someone sporting this natal aspect - what was the relationship like from your pov?

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May 14, 2022 at 21:08
(Virgo) jamarlt » stellium12
Hi stellium12,

Your marriage sounds like the end of mine. It didn´t start off that way. A few years in, I switched careers from a software engineer to running my own channel. For a while, I did my job and the channel - often working til 2 or 3am. Eventually I transitioned to only the channel, which ultimately led to a radio broadcaster position. This created a rift in our interest, conversation, how we spent our time, even means and capability of expression. Granted, this was one thing out of several but particular feature became cancerous.

Thank you for sharing.
May 14, 2022 at 20:18
(Virgo) jamarlt » Sunnyshadow
Hi Sunnyshadow,

Thank you for this answer. Yes, you describe the contradiction well lol. My resolution was the opposite of yours. I didn´t entirely know how deep it went, but I did know I was independent to a fault. At the same time, I loved her and she had classical ideas of marriage. Are you willing to give up this thing you´ve become radically attached to in order to maintain an autonomy you´ve done just fine without over the prior 5 years? The framing of the question implies the answer LOL.

You may ultimately be more right though. Wait, not right, but more honest about your appraisal of your tolerances. When things get out of sync, it wreaks havoc on the insecurities of the other. That said, pessimism is not a survival trait.

It´s funny. I know I´m not alone with this natal aspect, but it is wild to hear how other people reconcile it.
May 14, 2022 at 19:15
(Virgo) jamarlt » Cheliel
Hi Cheliel,

thank you for your response. The compliment on expression is much appreciated. Intellectualization is in the bricks. I have a persistent need to understand.

Letting go is more of a complicated answer. Grudges, people, relationships - yes. Doubly so if it was the other´s screw up. In the case of relationships - my need to understand the details is proportional to the complexity of the relationship and the degree of emotional wreckage left behind after it craters. Understanding my part just seems rational. I can´t correct regrets without know what they are.

Letting go just kind of happens as other things occupy your decision space, with the difficulty receding into the background. I´m not sure how everyone else deals but for me I usually just wake up one day in a new more aware normal. It´s not a conscious process.
May 14, 2022 at 11:03
(Capricorn) stellium12
This with Venus being in Scorpio in the twelfth house is probably the most difficult part in my life. The way it manifested in my marriage was my wife and I live almost independent lives, different friends, different interests, hobbies etc. we do things together that we like but will go off and still do what I enjoy separately. I see couples who do everything together and I could not live that life. Independence is key and it also applies to friendships and work. I don´t keep long friendships, if a friend becomes needy I will distance myself. At work I have to work independently otherwise I´ll change jobs.

You can private message me if you want to go deeper.
May 13, 2022 at 23:11
(Leo) Sunnyshadow
I´ve got it in my chart, pretty tight orb. 1.18° applying. I started to watch the video, but didn´t really have the time. I like Jewel though. Gonna check it out and try to give some thoughts.

My gut reaction to this aspect is its a dilemma between love/romance and freedom/independence

Describes me pretty well, I must say. Got a strong independent streak, not willing to compromise with periods of loneliness wondering why I´m alone :61:
May 13, 2022 at 07:19
(Leo) Cheliel
I don´t have that aspect, nor am I in a relationship with anyone who does, however, I find the way you express yourself so beautiful. I love the self-reflection, the questioning that you offer here with touching authenticity.

Afterwards, even if questioning oneself is essential for personal improvement and evolution, one must also know how to get out of mentalization. I hope that this balance between intellectualisation and letting go is part of your way of approaching life.

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