is it hard for cancers to be in relationships or is it just me

October 23, 2021 at 18:13 (UT/GMT)
(Cancer) happyfrog
is it hard for cancers to be in relationships or is it just me
i noticed that most cancers i know and myself find that being in a relationship is really hard.
talking from self experience everytime im in a relationship with someone i feel so attatched at the beggining and with time all of my feelings are gone
i feel so trapped in my relationships sometimes with my friends too
i feel like i m not made for stability and having one person for my entire life.
i would love to hear some of your advice on this problem its been bothering me so much <3

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October 26, 2021 at 01:58
(Pisces) ebonymermaid
Im not quite sure. But im a Cancer moon and the 2 Cancer Suns ive briefly dated in the past year, had trouble commitment. In the beginning everything seemed fine and positively smooth, no rushing just steady dates and talks of long term mutual interests together. But as more time passed they always became flaky and surprisingly distant. It was confusing. Some days id hear an "omg id love to be with you forever and we can do this and that" and theyd pay for all these dates. Other times it was awkwardly silent and closed off. Im Pisces heavy and a Cap rising so im fine with having space and going slow but it got too weird toward the end. And i keep a limit on how much time and emotions i invest in someone so i know when to bow out as i have boundaries on those who dont want commitment. so phobias wouldnt be much different.

Both happened to be 27/28 year old Cancer Suns. I never looked at trends, only seeing they both had Cancer Mercury and Taurus Mars.

The first one (Aqua moon) was a super perfectionist and very sensitive. But the weird part was, he was always by himself, hed go offroading alone and would get drunk alone. He bought a house, id offer to help with daily things, hed turn down any sort of physical assistance just overall very closed off but still engaging. After 4 months of companionship dating and the odd possessiveness, i let him go. Said he wanted me around everyday but no commitment which was odd considering that was discussed early on in the beginning. He kept trying to contact me saying he wanted me to move in and wanted to talk all day, but i blocked him at 4 months. It was weird.

The 2nd Cancer guy (Aries moon...very slight Pisces moon chance) started out more grand, he would practically spoil me, all these lavish dates and trips the first 3 months. No s3x per his lead. But same thing, as time went on that commitment phobia kicked in and he got closed off as the honeymoon phase started wearing down. We never once argued but he seemed tense as more time passed. ( I asked both if there was something wrong they wanted to bring up as i can take things straight up im not immature, but they literally said nothing is wrong on my end) I didnt pressure him about it i just kinda let it die, or rather i removed him from social media after some weird friend vibes for 2 weeks. There was mutual interest but he was closed off. He later told me he was insecure and all these other things and afraid to get close and wanted a 2nd chance etc. That he wanted to get married blah blah. But by that point i just couldnt see anything but further disappointment. The whole vibe was weird. To go from daily contact, lavish dates, to distant moody and flaky. To protect myself i decided to leave him.

The trend i noticed is that both felt they were superheroes, meaning they enjoyed helping other people but could never accept help. And they both needed alot of validation and reassurance. Their Chiron´s were different and i didnt want to jump to conclusions regarding Moon aspects with no birth time. I gave my attention willingly but hmmmmm after awhile its like am i invisible? whats next? will the dates continue or do i get off at this next stop? why wont they allow me in? I didnt ponder this too long. 4 months each was enough so i just moved on.

But Cancers are definitely the weirdest dating experiences ive had. Im not sure what was in their heads. To go from high energy to distant. Could be "cheating", could be lack of connection, could be commitment phobia. Whatever it was....annoying lol cause its like they dont realize this sorta stuff affects others when youre flaky, and they have to be able to have those hard conversations.

I did have a blog on commitment phobia a few weeks back because it is a legitimate problem from those with abandonment issues and trauma and a false sense of perfection some have regarding relationships. It starts with recognizing that its a core issue that others cant fulfill or fix. Understand that commitment isnt just for relationships its toward jobs and taking care of pets or talking to family or working out....we´re all committed to different things in our lives and relationships arent any different it requires give and take and within them theres all things wed change or fix. We choose to take that chance and do these things on a daily simply because we want to, and we´re hopeful about the outcome. Everybody has their mental trip ups and moments with the unknown, but the person just has to decipher their emotions against whats actually happening in the here and now kinda like an anxiety attack. The trauma of getting too close just to think itll fail anyway. The fear of investing emotions just for them to leave. But when reacting this way in their head, they begin to display these very things to the other person by pulling away from them.....only to freak out and self-affirm when they do leave. Its a fear of being emotionally vulnerable, something others cant fix. And as long as its not dealt with, most relationships will be erratic and short-lived due to self sabotage. The right relationship wouldnt cause them to lose themselves or feel undesired especially if they are vulnerable about their needs and understand that not everyone will be 100% perfect. There will always some little annnoying things but as long as you enjoy each other and treat each other well, its worth it in the long run.

If the individual is poly and not monogamous thats a different thing entirely and just something they need to be upfront about.
October 25, 2021 at 21:45
(Taurus) nutelina » Emanuel
Great explanations and apr description! Maybe we need to have a partner with whom we can feel free with?
October 25, 2021 at 21:25
(Sagittarius) Ioaanaa08 » Ways_of_Leavin'
Sagittarius sun and aquarius moon
October 25, 2021 at 20:21
(Aquarius) Ways_of_Leavin'
Hmmmm it sounds not so Cancer to me...

Is it maybe just something to do with the times now and that many grow up in ???
October 25, 2021 at 20:19
(Aquarius) Ways_of_Leavin' » Ioaanaa08
I´m curious; what signs are her Sun and Moon in ?
October 25, 2021 at 17:44
(Sagittarius) Ioaanaa08
My sister is a cancer rising and she always said that all her friends are taking her energy ,they are always complaining and she just can´t deal with their drama ,now she pretty much just stay away from everyone just casual friends nothing too intimate
She doesn´t look interested in love relationships
October 25, 2021 at 15:00
(Virgo) Aren Levi » Emanuel
so i gotta add "brain day" into my schedule .... like leg day was not enough of a boredom :4:
October 25, 2021 at 14:27
(Capricorn) Emanuel » Aren Levi
"your brain is also a muscle"
October 25, 2021 at 12:48
(Virgo) Aren Levi » Emanuel
i just cannot connect that frase with this long reading for me
October 24, 2021 at 22:19
(Capricorn) Emanuel » Aren Levi
No pain, no gain bruh
October 24, 2021 at 20:54
(Virgo) Aren Levi » Emanuel
who would read such a long text ...

deffinetly not me :4:

try to narrow it down,

be playfull with astrology

but anyway thanks

pull smt for my asc ( scorpio )

October 24, 2021 at 20:44
(Capricorn) Emanuel » Aren Levi

Due to your Capricorn Descendant, it’s certainly not easy for you to form and maintain relationships with other people. You will experience a lot of struggles in your close partnerships and it will constantly seem as if this is happening to you as some form of punishment. The 7th House shows us what kind of interpersonal circumstances we attract our way. Having Capricorn on the 7th House cusp means that you attract these difficult situations with other people into your life and it can make relationships feel really tiresome, exhausting, or burdensome. However, patterns of projection are also represented by this house, which means that it is very easy for you to believe that the difficulties in your partnerships are primarily the other person’s fault when, in actuality, you’re probably giving as good as you’re getting.

Having this influence does compel many of you to get involved with close friends, romantic partners, or anyone else who you have an important, one-on-one bond with who make things much harder than they need to be. These people might be very shut-down emotionally and have a tough time truly connecting. They could also be particularly hard on you, to the point where it feels like they never give you a break or are intent on making you feel bad about yourself. It can be hard to feel the love from these folks when all you’re getting is criticism, judgment, or a sense of disappointment from them. Also, you may form connections with people who make things much harder for you in the sense of requiring you to carry them on their backs. Maybe they’re underemployed or always struggling, in some regard, to find success and need a lot of guidance from you, which you, as the caregiver you are, readily provide.

That doesn’t mean that you happily provide for the other person, though. The alternate view of this dynamic is that you might be the one who is making things more difficult in the partnership. Maybe you’re actually the one who is always struggling, who always feels like a failure and is constantly turning to your companion for some sort of guidance. Also, even though you appear to be so emotionally available or accessible, you’re not as easy to get to know once someone tries to get to know you. You’re so protective of yourself that you can build this wall around yourself to prevent others from truly getting close. Then, you’re the one who is shut-down emotionally. Unfortunately, you may not even realize this about yourself and put this all on the other person, who will have enough tendencies toward seeming (or being) distant, unavailable, or unresponsive that it’s easy to blame it all on them.

Since you will attract so many people with Capricorn planets or an angular Saturn into your life, many of them will all too willingly take the blame for what’s occurring between the two of you, to the point where you get to avoid true responsibility for your actions in the relationship. It also should be said that, in some situations, when it seems like your companion is being mean to you, they are actually giving you some needed tough-love and asking you to be accountable for your actions. Since you can be quite childlike in your ways, you are being demanded, through your relationship, to take real responsibility for what you’ve done, whether that means how you’ve treated the other person or who you let into your life.

Much more than the average person, your relationship with your father plays a huge role in how you go about relationships. The Capricorn house in a person’s birth chart tells us a great deal about their bond with their Dad. Ultimately, that dynamic gets constantly recreated in your bonds with other people. Capricorn Descending means that you may have a father figure who you experienced a certain co-dependency with. Maybe you felt like he was supposed to complete you, making up for the lacking or missing parts of yourself. Feeling like your father was so strong and capable in ways that you weren’t instills this belief that you have to seek out other people whose strengths compensated for your weaknesses. This is when you see the Cancer Rising who is looking for some sort of father figure in the people they get close to.

That might also be because your father was somehow absent or unavailable and you didn’t have a chance to create a strong union with him during your formative years. Feeling like that paternal energy was missing in your life, you sought out to find that in other people who could provide for you, guide you, and teach you how to be better. Yet, you can easily project that father complex on to the other person by deeply resenting them for trying to keep you in line or telling you when you’re in the wrong. Just wanting to be nurtured and supported, you then come to believe that anything less than tenderness and gentleness from someone else is a sign that they don’t care about you. In response, you become increasingly distant from them until the relationship just crumbles before your eyes.

It is true, however, that you can be very attracted to people who actually are emotionally unavailable, uncaring, or very harsh toward you because you experienced the same dynamic with your father. You have to watch out for becoming your father in these relationships, as well. This means that, if you had a Dad that wasn’t really there, you may fail to be there for the people you claim to care about. Even though you seem to be emotionally present, something about you has checked out. It’s like the parent who comes home every day and goes through all the motions of parenting while not truly connecting with their family. Those who had fathers that weren’t present in some way can also become highly dutiful toward the people they’re close to in order to compensate for that. But, this ends up wearing you down, putting all the pressure on you to make sure the partnership is a success. If you assume this attitude, you will just attract people who will only let you down and make you feel like it’s all your fault.

Capricorn in the 7th House’s influence is usually divided into those two camps: those who take no actual responsibility for their part in their relationships and those that feel like the burden is theirs and theirs alone to bear. This placement is all about a balanced sense of responsibility in these unions with others. You need people who are going to really step up to the plate, who you can definitely count on, and you also need to be that person who can seriously step up to the plate and be counted on. Like everything in the 7th House, it has to go both ways. Do not let someone into your life who is only going to provide you with a heavy burden to bear. If they are bringing too much negativity and stress your way, then the partnership simply isn’t working. Also, know that refusing to own up to more negative, stressful side of yourself only puts a heavy burden on someone else because they have to take responsibility for things you should be owning. You need to be wise enough to recognize the influence your actions are having on others. Admitting that there are distinct times where you’re not as supportive or as sensitive as you think you are is a crucial part of getting better at relationships.

Wherever Capricorn is in our chart is where we experience the most difficulties. The 7th House is how we get to know the “other half” of ourselves, as well as the various people in our lives who serve as our other halves. It’s very hard for you to deal with the difficult traits of others or of yourself. You’d rather just be totally comfortable and not have your sensitivities be offended. But, in the process of getting to know someone, you’re going to see traits in them that you don’t entirely like or agree with. Accepting this without putting unnecessary distance between you two is how you succeed at partnerships. However, you will have some rite of passage kind of relationship in your life with someone who is nearly impossible to deal with. You can adopt an attitude that makes you stick with it through all these hard times because you don’t want to fail at relationships. You find security in them. Yet, you can’t find that security with someone who you can’t find much compromise or harmony with.

Knowing what kind of people to invest your time and effort in should then make you strive to be the kind of person that others will want to invest their time and effort in. If you want to attract the right kind of person, you need to be the right kind of person. This means that you need to put all of the necessary work into your relationships, without running away when things get tough. You also need to be fully aware of the difficult traits within yourself that can prevent other people from having or maintaining much happiness with you. Just because you have these less-than-favorable qualities does not mean you’re not deserving of love or that the other person isn’t going to want to be with you. Even if some relationships in your life don’t work out, you’ve got to know what to take ownership of and what the other person is responsible for. It’s not even about blaming. It’s just about accountability. Sometimes, a person’s reaction to you is just a projection and what they really think of themselves. But, you should remember this during times when someone has a valid issue with you and you’re glossing over it, minimizing it, or putting it all on them. Saturn ruling your 7th indicates how much you can truly grow up through challenges you experience alongside other people. You will learn how to deal with others as wisely as you can and choosing to only deal with wise individuals who use their strength and maturity to help make the relationship better.

October 24, 2021 at 20:38
(Capricorn) Emanuel » Aren Levi
Of course it depends of rulers and overall chart, but still, Cancer Rising(and Leo Rising) usually have the toughest love life. 7th house ruled by Saturn, Saturn slow things down and force us to grow up in that area of life.

Cancer Risings starts the life very nurtured and loved by their families. But this excess of nurture make them usually immature and afraid to confront life. This is why they face in close relationships cold, mature, cynical individuals that force them to suck it up and start become more mature and responsible.

This is one of the heaviest "karma" related to Relationships . Everyone expect love, understanding, tenderness in a relationships.

Everyone, excepts Cancer Risings(well, they expect that, but probably not receive). This is why many Cancer Risings are alone, or married late in life(at least after Saturn return), married to an older(or much younger) partner, business like marriage, marriage for status etc. Many times the marriage lacks affection and love (some says unhappy marriage).
Because they naturally attract people with Capricorn placements in their life, people that are cold, calculated, status oriented, not emotionally expresive, business minded persons.

Also, the reason for this situation can also be... The Cancer Rising Native. They are so caught up in their emotions that when approached by people they are cold, protected by their strong shell. They put the cold bitch face to protect their very sensible inner world, but they dont realize that if you dont let yourself to be vulnerable (maybe they have bad memories about being vulnerable), you remove fro your life many people that genuinly wants to know you.

Cancer Rising needs mature and cold individuals for their development, not cuddly lovers.

This is also emphasized by the 8th house in Aquarius, the house that follows 7th. This clearly shows that for Cancer Rising a big issue in close relationships is detachment for emotional life, problems with intimacy, fears that they will rejected for their weirdness.

Also, Cancer Risings have 5th house in Scorpio. This can also shows very intense/traumatic relationships, maybe trauma related to sexual expression from their childhood(bullied by kids in school?).

Ps:also, the thing is... You as a Cancer Rising, have the duty to nurture others. So it kinda makes sense to attract lovers that are close and unavailable emotionaly, cold, with emotional or psychological issues... Because you need to nurture them, and they enter your life to make you grow up.

This is not an easy duty. In fact it s the hardest duty related to relationships between every Rising Sign. As I said, most Rising Signs expects love and understanding in an intimate relationship... Cancer Rising expects cold people that need to be nurtured
October 24, 2021 at 19:44
(Virgo) Aren Levi » Emanuel
and ?

why is it difficult ?

only House rulers do not show or doom any asc

if Cancer asc has Venus, Mercury or even Jupiter in 7th house - it is really auspicious because those planets are friends of Saturn which is ruler of that house ...
October 24, 2021 at 19:25
(Capricorn) Emanuel » Aren Levi
Well this is kinda obvious . The 7th house for a Cancer Rising is in Capricorn,and the 8th house is in Aquarius .
October 24, 2021 at 18:00
(Virgo) Aren Levi
i think for heavy cancer energy people it is hard when they date someone that is not well suited for cancer energy :4:

But being heavy cancer does not mean that they have to have hard relationships.

for heavy cancer energy man i would give advice - do not just think with your dick when choosing partners, you should consider your emotions also and how it wíll affect them, maybe it will not effect them .. who knows - rest should be okay :3:
October 24, 2021 at 17:55
(Virgo) Aren Levi » Emanuel
why ? :4:
October 24, 2021 at 17:48
(Cancer) happyfrog » letafet
im also a cancer venus
October 24, 2021 at 17:41
System message: Post has been written by user letafet, who already deleted profile on this website:
I would not say it is about being a Cancer, but more about your Venus. I have both my sun and venus in Cancer - and my venus is conjunct my Saturn in Cancer. Such an aspect makes it extremely difficult for me to be in relationships, as I can´t attach myself to anyone, but I believe that is mostly on Saturn. Take a close look at your Venus and its position in your chart.
October 24, 2021 at 09:52
(Leo) Zephyrin
My friend is a Cancer with Cancer stellium and I have a ridiculous Cancer dominance in my chart. We tend to ignore red flags, kinda deluding ourselves till someone open our eyes. Our biggest fault is to centralise the person we love. I can say these are especially true for Cancer Venuses.

Your Mercury/Moon and Sun/Moon oppositions in the signs Capricorn and Cancer basically shows you does not feel understood by your partner in an emotional level and that may cause you go away.

"i feel like i m not made for stability and having one person for my entire life."

DSC/Uranus conjunction in Pisces may create suspicion in your relationships, sometimes in the other person, lack of trust and independence may trigger the end of your relationships. It also may cause feeling lost in them and you may fail to develop a serious relationship due to your unease. Uranus on your DSC may bring polygamy and tendency to feel bored in long term relations. Uranus seeks difference, excitement and originality. You need a balance between your life and love life, they must be separate. It is what the oppositions between Cancer and Capricorn in your chart shows to me.
October 24, 2021 at 08:58
(Aquarius) Catch-22 » Emanuel
Crap :10:
October 24, 2021 at 08:58
(Capricorn) Emanuel
For Cancer Rising especially*
October 23, 2021 at 19:54
System message: Post has been written by user Seanfhear, who already deleted profile on this website:
شمس السرطان قد يكون لها نفس مظاهر طالع السرطان لكن ليس بالضرورة أن تكون العلاقات صعبة وما إلى ذلك. المعروف أن الأشخاص ذوي طالع السرطان (لا شمس السرطان) هم من يتأخرون في الزواج. أما العلاقات، فهي مجرد علاقات ... الكثير منها يمر في حياة الإنسان مهما كان طالعه أو أينما تكون شمسه.
ثم أنك صغير في السن. هناك أشياء في هذه الحياة لا تُفهم إلا مع مرور الوقت، بل هناك أمور لا تنضج في حياة الإنسان قبل سن 29-30 (وهو وقت عودة زحل إلى موضعه عند الولادة تقريبا).
خذ الأمور من الطالع لتحليل خرائط الولادة

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