Are we meant to be or should we end it? - Discussions, questions

erickaf I don´t see a synastry chart. Am I missing something? :-)

Cind » gerdahagge I have just got your synastry chart up and haha first thing that nearly burnt my eyes out was your Lilith conjunct his moon! His emotions bring out your raw Lilith energy, no wonder you can fight and with all them Aries placements

With your south node being conjunct his Ascendant, it is definitely a karmic relationship so there is a lesson to be learnt here.

I know he is a Taurus and stubborn but he does have libra ascendant and Gemini Moon, maybe trying a more logical approach and clear conversation will help you to get through to him what you want.

Air moon people do not really understand emotional outbursts they see them as irrelevant. You have mercury in Aquarius so before going into a discussion with your Aries moon and defence, try and create a list of points that are logical.

Your mercury is sextile your moon so it should be pretty easy to logicalise your emotions so that he understands.

Also with the spoiling of his kids, he is a Taurus and he also has taurus venus, his love language will probably be gift giving.
You should figure out your love language how you like to give and receive love.

Also try reading a self love book as a lot of arguments in relationships don´t always have a lot to do with the other person but past traumas experienced through other people that are being triggered.

And I know you may not like his daughter, but at the end of the day if this is the man you see yourself spending the rest of your life with, that is his child. Try and look at her venus and moon and see how she bonds with people and connect with her on her terms. I think this would help to heal your own relationship with your partner.

In your composite chart your ascendant is in Scorpio so I can see that this relationship is very intense but your composite venus is conjunct your descendant north node and you also have moon in 7th.

I don´t see this relationship as a failure at all. I think if you just communicate your feelings in a logical way rather than emotional it will help instantly.

Mars is currently transiting your natal 8th house so just have sex and connect haha

gerdahagge » plumreme I with i could edit the synastry chart here somehow, but on astro-seek it seems impossible. He was born 4 may 1965 at 3.45 pm in malmö sweden. i have it in my saved people under Rob, but i dont know how to attach it here on the forum.

gerdahagge » rohini moon Yes, It´s me in the picture, but i think that she is younge than me.

rohini moon Unrelated but... ...if that is you in your profile pic (and not her) you bare a remarkable resemblance to Malin from Ace of Base....also Swedish natives. Weird. And interesting.

And you´re both nearly the same age

plumreme I see the aspects you posted, but without seeing his chart, it’s hard to say. For example, you have Lilith conjunct his sun - I’d need to see his relationship to his own Lilith to know how this would affect him (if he has difficulty with this archetype, and his sun activates this in you, and /or this is what his ego perceives you to be, how it experiences you, then this could cause a lot of trouble. or it could be the opposite and make for great passion that is unconflicted, though Lilith usually comes with conflict). Chrion Opp Uranus, for example, could cause issues when he has Uranus opposition. These seem to be mostly easy aspects with a few squares and conjunctions that cause passion, but aside from the Sun conjunct Saturn (which can give comittment but also cause problems), nothing that by itself (without seeing what houses these aspects affect) points to a “meant to be” or fated feeling with the exception being North Node conjunct moon (but fated and a helper on the path, doesn’t mean meant to last). Aside from the astrology, I feel like I wouldn’t even need to consult it to form an opinion just based on what you said your experiences are in the relationship (I’m also a relationship coach) — stonewalling is a deal breaker, refusing to resolve conflict is a deal breaker, narcissistic emotional abuse is a deal breaker. I’m glad that when it’s good, it’s good, but it sounds like a cycle to me, and with a person who is unwilling or unable to aknowledge the cycle and seek resolution to conflict (assuming, of course, there are 2 sides here, you only present yours, but that’s all I can go on). Attraction, laughter, and similar tastes can happen many times over, and it’s great when it does, but you can’t really enjoy it if you’re trapped in this cycle. As far as how he parents, that’s his. Even married couples parent differently. His kids are almost grown, so it’s moot. I can say that if my ex’s partner didn’t like my kid, i’d hope they could either resolve it or move apart. I wouldn’t want that for my kid, and I wouldn’t want that for the woman, either. the kids are there to stay for life - that just seems like an uphill battle for something lacking a lot of glue (both from what you describe and from the aspects). My heart goes out to you all. This is all so hard to navigate. I wish you the best.

Astro-Seek.com System message: Post has been written by user David Evans, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Perhaps since he is so stubborn, and you love him, try being less stubborn. Just go along with it, let him have the last word
It is a Taurus man you are dealing with after all, and those can be very trustworthy.
Just don´t press their buttons, or you end up getting the horns.

Leo Moon » gerdahagge You wrote “ The replies on this forum just don’t seem so astrological. I thought i would get some astrological point of view”

I have noticed that posting charts from Astroseek will elicit more astrologically based replies.

The synastry chart of You and Your partner would be helpful.

I hope You can find peace of mind and a resolution to Your situation.

Your chart is interesting with both Sun and Moon at 0 degrees. If You were born a bit earlier those would be different signs.

Interpretation of zero degree Sun sign is interesting.
Signaling a beginning in learning and experiencing the nature of that sign.
It’s regarded as a positive.

nutelina » goldenlion32 Exactly, was about to say. Some things will just not work how hard you try. Best of luck.

goldenlion32 » gerdahagge I would look at the synastry of everyone. Just from my experience with step parents multiple times there is karma that shows up. So, there is life lessons with you and those children as well as your partner.

One of the things I´ve learned is if there is an issue in the relationship, this isn´t so much about them, but how you react, how you perceive, and what you believe about relationships. The roots of your own parenting, family generational karma, and how you project it on to them.

I´d look at your own family charts as well to see how these archetypes maybe coming back around for you to learn something personally.

Even if you were to separate, unless you´ve done your inner work, you might just be in the same situation again since you just get a different combination of the same archetypes in relationships until you reach self-mastery of the life lessons.

LotusStar When it comes to his kids, you can make your opinion known, but its his decision if he wants to raise them differently than you would. I can imagine it´s tricky to navigate... but the step kids don´t want a third parent, especially at their age. So backing off will save you a lot of headache if you want to continue in this relationship. You wont be able to change a Taurus, they are set in their ways.

Being okay with not talking for a week is super passive aggressive and immature though... that kind of thing is pretty toxic.

Also, it´s a really bad sign if someone cannot self-reflect and apologize for their own bad behavior or mistake. That is indeed a trait of narcissists, its never their fault and they dont apologize. Is he open to having honest conversations about the dynamics of your relationship? If both people aren´t willing to hear the other person´s point of view and respect their feelings, then I do think it is a waste of time personally.

Victor_Valiant_ Sounds tense indeed with 15 & 18 yo involved. Those are teens in their puberty & rebellion.
Since they´re not yours, I guess the kids treats you as an mate to their father instead of respecting you as an individual.
Anything you say to them seems mostly invalid, unless it comes from him/father.

You say different approach to raising kids, but those aren´t kids anymore that needs raising, but guiding into adulthood.
If he spoils them than it´s no surprise they rebel against you.
He´s the good guy in their eyes.
And kids probably also know of the fights between you 2
& that makes them think you make their fathers life hard or uncomfortable.
Resulting in more dislike & bad behavior towards you.

If the father took time with his kids to ask them implicitly to respect you & that you were his love of his life etc,
I don´t think it would be this tense. But that´s not the case.

I think you need a deep talk, at a relaxing time like before sleep, and calmly state all your feelings about this.
Kids, behavior, what do about it to improve & future of your relation.
His responses and views should be enough of an answer to continue or break.

And yes I can see you can fight, you got 4 aries in your chart ;)
Chiron aries, shows that you are often misunderstood and needing to explain over & over what you meant. Since it´s in aries you do it in direct and fiery manner.
Even if you calm down fast maybe even in minutes, that fire was quite hot to leave the other scorching.
Taurus man doesn´t calm down as fast, and can´t get heat up that fast.
That´s why he gets the last word in. They approach it as tanks, they plant their feet, and stability is everything to taurus, they don´t get knocked over easy.
But they are sensual humorous funny & companionable with dinners & family settings.
If he is like that with you one on one, but not when his kids are around, then that´s not good in improving the image of you as couple.

You need to evaluate if these circumstances are worth the good side you have, and that your talk with him shows that fights will less occur & the good side improves.
If it doesn´t seem like it for the near future, and your talks with him, doesn´t show any sign or any plans to improve on it.
Then you have your answer that you no longer have a place there.

Since you mentioned different way of raising kids, if you still want own kids then it´s clear to walk away to find someone more suitable to raise them together with.
As having your own kids, with this man, will only result in more family drama with his current kids, your arguments, and turbulent childhood your own kid gets born to. Breaking up then will result in no father figure, and all kind of mess for the child. You don´t want that.

Maybe I´m stipulating to much on if youwanted your own, but that´s an consequence you need to be aware of down the line.

Good luck hope you find your answer, and able to make good decisions
Life is too short to spend it in misery ;)
Take care Cheers

gerdahagge » gerdahagge PlanetAspectPlanetOrb
SunTrineJupiter3°21’
SunConjunctionSaturn3°45’
MoonSextileMercury2°15’
MoonTrinePluto6°02’
VenusSquareJupiter1°26’
JupiterTrineSaturn0°23’
UranusSextileNeptune1°42’
UranusConjunctionPluto2°55’
Other aspects:
ObjectAspectPlanetOrb
AscendantOppositionVenus0°17’
AscendantSquareJupiter1°09’
MCSquareMoon5°39’
MCSextileMars0°09’
NodeConjunctionMoon4°19’
NodeSextileMercury2°03’
S.NodeOppositionMoon4°19’
S.NodeTrineMercury2°03’
LilithConjunctionSun3°05’
ChironOppositionUranus4°09’
ChironTrineNeptune2°26’

gerdahagge My chart