Problems with men??celibacy - Discussions, questions

Luna Alba Well, psychologically, the relationship we have with our father usually shapes our relationships with men in general.

Unfortunately, we don´t look for what´s best for us, but for the familiar, for what we´ve experienced in our early childhood.

If your father was abusive in some way, you probably and involuntarily seek men that will recreate that abusive dinamic.

Think about your relationship w your dad, its traits and break the pattern - don´t look for the negative familiar, but for what´s best for you! .


I don´t think your relationship w your father is deterministic in any other way that the one I explained above. So it´s your mind here, not the fate.

If you feel better staying away from him, then live your life away from him and try to heal whatever you need to heal. Then you should attract a proper partner in your life.

rohini moon First thing I immediately thought was: sun conjunct Saturn...and yes, you have this, in the 12th house no less.

Sun/Saturn individuals always have a tumultuous relationship with their father.

It doesn´t mean necessarily this tradition will carry on into your romantic relationships in life, but it *can*, if you don´t figure out how to harness this energy correctly..

Astro-Seek.com System message: Post has been written by user Green Garden, who already deleted profile on this website:
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I do had a difficulities with my father. Have you noticed that you draw men to you that share the same aspects with you, that you had with your father?

It was the case with me. Shared lot of hard Sun/Pluto contacts with the men i liked.
Maybe that is a pattern you noticed too?

msrEda » Luna Alba I was not abused by my father, he was being violent since I was little, and last year I had a huge event and ran away from home, I never saw violence again.I usually look for guys who are the opposite

msrEda » rohini moon Yeah that´s such a bad angle.Saturn teaches me

msrEda » Green Garden Usually I shoot types like my dad quietly but I don´t like such guys and run away

rohini moon » msrEda He does teach, but you´re still very young..you have a lot of time to grow and learn..... there is always hope, my friend.

msrEda » rohini moon It´s like there´s always the same karma in life.

rohini moon » msrEda It´s good you recognize these things at your age, it will save you a lot of trouble. .yes you do have Mars in your 7th house ..house lord Jupiter in 12th conjunct sun/Saturn. . You do need to stay away from violent men. Whenever you see Mars inthe 7th in a woman´s chart, she has to be extremely leery on who she gets into Romantic relations with. Jupiter sitting with Saturn, in a way is the saving grace of your conjunction....Jupiter is the only planet who has the power and authority to mitigate the negative influence of Saturn. .

Luna Alba » msrEda Well, you´ll need to see if you enherited some patterns from him. It doesn´t have to be phisical abuse strictly - it can be verbal, emotional, cotrolling behaviour etc.

It´s good that you reject the negative familiar.

Wishing you a lot of luck!

msrEda » rohini moon I always stay away from angry men and quiet types.I hope Jupiter will protect. It´s good that I learned at an early age.

hipogrifo010 Maybe you need to learn about your father´s history and things about how he met your mother. that will give you some kind of clue as to why he is like this and you can avoid this behavior from the source and not fall in love with the same kind of guys in the end. without realizing it, or even worse, ending up with someone bad in a completely different way because you absolutely reject the bad behavior that he had, without looking at others being that perhaps they also make serious mistakes.i hope this open you a new ways to look at this problem. See ya .

Zephyrin I´m sorry to read that.

Every person that I know and I help has issues related to men (as well as father) when in comes to the oppositions and squares of Sun/Saturn and and MC/Saturn.

In the charts of women, I mostly consider Sun/Lilith, Saturn/Lilith aspects.

It is very probable that you´ll continue to have issues with men in your life. As far as I see from your chart, your relationship with mother is also not good. She may be a person who lives with superstitions, who is inconsiderate, pessimistic. She may even be quiet to your father´s abusiveness towards you. With the opposition of Mars(6)/Jupiter(12) you acummulate all these things in your mind, you don´t forget any detail about your problems but Jupiter here exaggerates the problems, unfortunately. In that case, thinking too much on your issues may cause migraine and sleeping problems, maybe some mental diseases.

Arguing and fighting with people and their trash opinions are not new things for you.

No doubt you have problems related to your education both because of these issues and wrong friends. You might be a very emotional person in the past. You seek equality and freedom in your relationships but people don´t let you act however you want. But here, you´re actually the biggest enemy of yourself; you swallow all the things you want to say to people. Acting directly will help in your relationships. Just do and tell what you want.

Your descendant (7th house) conjuncts with Chiron and Mars which indicate physical and psychological abuse from men, your father or others. They try to dominate. Struggles with men, a noisy marriage, disagreements. Your health is sensitive by the way. You may have scars in your body that are not fully recovered or you´re person that constantly have little accidents.

However, descendant conjuncts with part of fortune(7) which I associate with luck in relationships sooner or later even if the presence of all these negative conjunctions.

You want a man who is warm-blooded, funny, listens you instead of judging or gabbing. Due to (12)/ (11) and (12)/ (6) square, your affairs might not go beyond friendship. It just will be hard to find a person who you´re happy, feel in peace. You may have to kiss many frogs till find your prince. He may be from another nations, older than you.

You´re a clever girl, don´t let your father affect your thinking about love. I think you´ll be happy as long as you make abusers stay away from your life. Trust your gut feelings, you have benefits from being suspicious.

Astro-Seek.com System message: Post has been written by user Davis212, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Don´t believe everything any astrologer say to you; including me, haha :-).

Astrology isn´t about written-in-stone "fate", but about our karmic patterns that we need to recognize, understand, and face head-on; and about the innate potentials we have to do that, and to seek out happiness.

The fact that at your very young age you are already in the path of self-discovery, says many good things about you, :-).

One of the greatest healing tools that exists (and I know that I need to work on that myself) is forgiveness. Forgiveness unstick our minds from our past, and allow us to move on into the future and the present.

I´ve had many deep wounds in my past, some of those because of the difficult relationship I had with my father. But as one grows older, we begin to realize that parents make mistakes, and that most of the time, when they act badly or in non-optimum ways, they are subconsciously repeating the same patterns of conduct that they learned from their own parents.

Some of us are strong enough, and enough spiritually evolved so as to break off from such patterns. But some of us are not that strong.

This isn´t to justify his actions or the bad actions from anyone, for that matter. But as we age, we start to understand that life isn´t necessarily a "White or Black" proposition, but that the "gray area" is huge. And with that understanding comes some peace of mind regarding what has been done to us. Because we understand that people are just people, and that all of us can become the effect of our own psychological issues and start acting in negative ways.

Having said all that, let me take a look at your chart and tell you the challenges I see, and the potentials I see to work with such challenges.

I´ll come back in a little while.

theycallmetym I have terrible relationship with my father as well.We havent seen for like 3 years.Now im 23 and thats ok i already forgive everything but i have to admit that it shaped my personality and character in not that desireble way..Believe me i understand you.I have never had an emotional relationship in my life.I know it sounds odd but it is like it is.I just dont feel any need or neccesity and im doing pretty well..I dont approve that kind of lifestyle dont get me wrong,what im trying to say is sometimes its better to be with yourself,discussing things with yourself,making time for yourself and self-improvement.Best desicions are made alone.Dont stuck with idea that you need someone in your life.
I see nowadays a lot people constantly seeking for relationships,linking their existence to other peoples,changing them like pair of socks..(Im in general)
Thats BS,everythink has its own time.When time will come,you will met that person dont worry.Assuming that you know turkish;varligini baska insanlar uzerinden olcme,bazen yalnizlik,hayatin sana atadigi en kaliteli ogretmen oluverir:)

Astro-Seek.com System message: Post has been written by user Davis212, who already deleted profile on this website:
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Ok, here I am. Keep in mind that I am using a different house system ("Whole Signs Houses", it is called) to analyze your chart than the Placidus house system which is automatically set up in Astroseek, unless we change the settings. So don´t get confused if you suddenly notice that I am "changing" the position of your planets, haha.

The 7th house is the house of "relationships"; any kind of close relationships (friends, romantic partners, family, etc). Your 7th house is in the sign of Sagittarius. The ruler (the planet that represents a sign) of your 7th house is Jupiter, because Jupiter "rules" (represents) the sign of Sagittarius.

Now we look at what house and sign Jupiter is. In a woman´s chart, Jupiter represents the romantic partner or the spouse.

We notice that Jupiter is in Gemini in your 1st house, and is conjunct (together with) your Gemini Ascendant.

This means that your partner (Jupiter) is coming to you (the Ascendant) from your 7th house - because your 7th house is in the sign of Sagittarius which is ruled by Jupiter. This is a good thing!! Jupiter doesn´t exactly feel completely "comfortable" in the sign of Gemini, because Jupiter is "enemy" with Mercury, the planet that rules/represents Gemini. But, Jupiter isn´t "debilitated" in Gemini. Besides, Jupiter is conjunct your Sun (you) which is also in Gemini in your 1st house. And this conjunction is a great one to have.

So your partner (Jupiter) is coming to you (ruler of 7th on your Ascendant), and to support you (the Sun), because Jupiter is conjunct your Sun. Your "man" (well, your young man, haha) should ideally have a Gemini-like character (very talkative, communicative, loves to read and learns new things, friendly, funny, etc) and should support you - Jupiter conjunct your Sun (you).

Now, that´s the "ideal" scenario as seen from Jupiter´s placement and aspects. The thing is that, most of the time, the woman doesn´t immediately seek out her partner based on Jupiter´s placement, aspects, etc, but based on the ruler of her 7th, the planets that are in her 7th house, the ruler of the 5th house (house of "romance"), the planets in the 5th house, etc, etc. It is a bit complicated, haha.

It is my belief after having done so many "love readings", that most individuals (both male and female) go through some "karmic lessons", which they need to go through, understand, and learn from it, before they finally understand what they need, want, and expect from their close relationships, especially their romantic relationships.

In your particular case, you have Chiron on top of your descendant (that big black line in your 7th house), which is the astrological "point/object" that represents relationships. In our birth chart, Chiron indicates where our deepest wounds are. So being on top of your Descendant, this means that most of your deepest wounds are in the area of relationships.

Because Mars (which represents our aggressive energies) is also on top of your Descendant, AND conjunct Chiron, this means that such wounds (Chiron) have to do with an unhealthy expression (from others and/or from yourself) of anger (Mars).

Because Mars is opposite Jupiter (which is the ruler of your Descendant), then Jupiter could "expand" (what Jupiter does) that unhealthy expression of anger, and make you very fearful and cautious of it. And this could "attract" to you - in a subconscious level - partners/friends who are a bit aggressive and bad-tempered.

The 6th house is the house (besides other more positive things, of course) of obstacles, conflicts, arguments, etc. Your 6th house is in the sign of Scorpio which is ruled by (represents) Mars as the "traditional" (old) ruler. Mars - besides our drive, passion, motivation, energy, etc - also represents anger, aggressiveness, etc. So the ruler (Mars) of the 6th (which represents all that) is on top of your descendant (close relationships), which means that "obstacles, conflicts, aggressiveness" (6th house and Mars) are going into your close relationships (Mars on your Descendant).

So we have that 7th lord (Jupiter) opposite the 6th lord (Mars), which in turn is on top of your Descendant.

Pluto in a chart represents our area in life where we have experienced deep pain and painful transformations. And Pluto also co-rules the sign of Scorpio, and Pluto (as the ruler of the 6th) is also in your 7th house. Pluto can manifest as attracting partners who are emotionally manipulative (and Pluto is conjunct your Moon, which can represent that), domineering, controlling, etc.

The 2nd house is about family in Vedic, and it is in the sign of Cancer which is ruled by the Moon. The Moon is on your 7th house in the sign of Sagittarius. So the ruler (Moon) of your 2nd house (family) is on your 7th (close relationships) conjunct Pluto.

The above could ("could", meaning it is only a possible scenario) mean that you have had (or still do) difficulties with a mother (Moon) which might be a bit domineering, and perhaps a bit obsessive and emotionally manipulative with you.

Saturn represents the "father" in astrology, and so does the MC (10th house) and the Sun as well.

Saturn is on your 1st (you) and square the MC, which could indicate a very restrictive (Saturn) father (Saturn and the MC) who has blocked you or stopped you in some way, and that felt/feels emotionally distant and/or cold. And more so because Saturn (father) is opposite the Moon (your feelings and emotions).

But because the Moon also represents the Mother, this could mean that your father (Saturn) was very restrictive, cold, harsh, etc, with your mom.

Pluto is also opposite the Sun (which also represents your father), which could indicate power struggles, emotional manipulation, and having felt suffocated by the father.

The 4th house represents our early upbringing. And is in the sign of Virgo which is ruled by Mercury. Mercury is on top of your Ascendant and in retrograde. And from the Ascendant Mercury is opposite Mars, an aspect that represents bad temper and aggressiveness. So we have Mars being the 6th lord (ruler) being opposite the ruler (Mercury) of the 4th - which indicates this aggressiveness from your early upbringing.

As Mercury (ruler of the 4th) is also opposite Chiron on your Descendant, then this means that you couldn´t "fight back" that aggressiveness. It also means, perhaps, being a bit shy, cautious, and perhaps fearful, when approaching others in close relationships.

That´s all "bad" news, isn´t it? Well, it is just the explanation of the "Karmic patterns" with which you were born for a reason. And it is up to you to understand why so you can break off from them and heal your wounds and fears.

"What should I do?" Well, you should get into the path of self-discovery by reading/researching - BY YOURSELF, Gemini girl, haha - each and every one of your placements, aspects, and ruler in houses combinations, and learn both, the positive manifestations of them and the negative ones.

By understanding the negative ones, you begin to understand your own attitudes, behavior, and triggers. By understanding the positive ones, you have a "Healing path" to follow.

It is very painstaking, long, and takes a lot of self-discipline and hard work. But it is either that, or blindly "trusting" old beaten-up astrologers like me, haha. The choice is totally yours, :-).

Best of luck!!

msrEda » hipogrifo010 It´s not magic that my mom and dad meet, but I´ll learn other things

msrEda » Zephyrin I read the article you wrote twice and I was very impressed. Yes, my relationship with my mother is also problematic. And yes I have body injuries that have not healed, but I have no psychological problems yet. So I will experience the same events with my father in my relationships, but maybe I do not have any relationship because Saturn does not want me to have a relationship and get injured.Thank you, I will read your article for the third time.

msrEda » theycallmetym Actually, I am not upset that I will be alone, I am sorry that my situation with my father will be revived.Or it won´t come alive, here I am here for the answer to this question.it´s better to be alone and peaceful than to fight.And i agree with you

msrEda » Davis212 And I believe every article about astrology Despite my map I want to change some things.I often get hurt from bilateral relationships and take shelter in my 12 house.The article you wrote about my 7th house (husband) looks very similar to me, I guess he will be my twin.Better to have a my twin than to look like my dad.I don´t want my family troubles to be repeated in my own home when I grow up.

Promethean_Soul 12th house is like piaces sign has two sides. Our secret power resides there and also it is our resort to stay isolated. From my observations what kind people i saw who has sun 12th house. Maybe nobody knows that but most successful people have some planets are in 12th house. For example last two Democrat candidate Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton has sun and many planets are in 12th house.
One is my youngest brother. My father didn´t want my mother to give birth and he threatened my mom. After he was born my father loved him but my father was always absent in my brother´s life. I took my father role because he was absent also in our family.
Another person I know my Turkish friend , he is married with a foreign woman. He works in another country and he loves his child but he cannot see his child so much. In this situation 12th house shows foreign culture which is very different from yours. Religion and race difference. 12th house is also related to foreign lands and foreign fathers.
In your situation you can get married with a foreigner from different religion and culture.
12th house is still one of the wrong and less known in astrology. Because it is house when sun arises. I dont know if astrologer is right or wrong but I reccomend you , by yourself make observations and research about 12th house because you have many planets there.

Astro-Seek.com System message: Post has been written by user Asteroid #448, who already deleted profile on this website:
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At first i thought i saw mrs Eda. So you can bet i was surprised at your topic :-D

Ill be very frank. The relationship with your father, with your mother, with your siblings and your friends doesn´t cause the relationship you having with a partner. Honestly theres no comparison. The men I´ve dated according to my father is polar opposites. In this case, you can say, you either fall in the category that goes looking for what displeases you, or like me. Know EXACTLY what isn´t going do.

Your relationship with yourself will always be the most important.

msrEda » Promethean_Soul I read a lot of articles about the 12th house.And often the issues of the 12th house are pessimistic and it seems impossible for me to go abroad according to my own life situation.Someone here said that abroad is not good for me and I was impressed.My birth chart shows my potential. Maybe if I was in another country I´d run my map better

msrEda » Asteroid #448 It´s up to me but sometimes fate comes into play.And frankly I wanted to look at this subject as astrology.

Promethean_Soul » msrEda I think mysterious of 12th house is like Pisces constellation , one Pisces tries to go higher spiritually , other Pisces is go to westward for material things. That is why this house is so mysterious , one side gives people secret power the other part makes them isolated and suffers. I saw some negative effects in transits but in natal chart it is not so negative how we were told.