Desperately looking for guidance.

March 22, 2019 at 00:23 (UT/GMT)
(Scorpio) jordanamelia
Desperately looking for guidance.
Hi there,
I have used this site a number of times now to read what it says about my chart but struggle sometimes with understanding, so decided today to register and get involved in the forums. I have struggled with depression and what I can only describe as living in a dream at times (started from age 11/12 and I´m now 27), but in the past year and a half I have hit rock bottom, which escalated after a bad break up (ended horribly, a lot of people left my side and he took my dog from me) and had struggled with losing my job prior to this so felt on a slippery slope. I´ve definitely learnt a lot from these experiences (which I try to remind myself are great positives), in that looking back I could see I had wasted so much of my own time wanting the best for those around me (ie my ex and close friends, putting my ambitions second stupidly), now I feel as though I´m lost in terms of direction of my life and feel quite alone.

I was wondering if anyone could take a look at my chart and offer some guidance as to what steps I should take to - I suppose find my inner strength again? I´m not too sure, don´t want to sound like I am asking too much but a little insight off my chart perhaps could help. Sometimes I feel so bitter to those who have cast me aside/hurt me it feels as though I can´t move on.

Sorry if this was TMI/too personal, I just wanted to give an idea of where I was at in looking for guidance. Thanks for reading and I really appreciate any help.

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March 22, 2019 at 06:31
(Aries) ram_goat
Sorry if this was TMI/too personal, I just wanted to give an idea of where I was at in looking for guidance. Thanks for reading and I really appreciate any help.

Naw, it´s about right.

99% of people write a single hit & run post asking "please read my chart" and are totally uncommunicative about details or feedback, which is complete bullshit. Dunno what most of em expect.

You come across a very humble scorp (double scorp!). Fortune & Fate must have laid you pretty low. It´s unusual for scorp´s to be so forthcoming and
laid open like you present your recent experiences.

If you look at the aspect table of your chart, go down the line.. your moon is a collection of squares & oppositions. Ouch. Emotional pain much?

Venus also does not look too pretty. Many squares there too.
March 22, 2019 at 10:47
(Cancer) Trevor77
Hello Jordan from Uk! :17: Your detailed post is much appreciated, as we can clearly see your current situation.

First thing Iv done, is looked at what you should focus on ´right now´ using a horary chart.

The chart below shows the chart for your current situation, and what you should focus on.

So.. if you look, the moon :152: represents you, and your heart, in 5th house square saturn and pluto. 5th house is love, but its afflicted showing a failed relationship, depression (square to saturn :157:) and emotional change ( square pluto :160:) also with pluto can be some nasty things that have happened.

if you look at cancer :174: and taurus :172: these will be in life areas that will make you feel better, and what the stars advise based on your current situation.

Taurus :172: is on 12th thats spending time by your self, with mars doing some kinda physical fitness or taking up a new obsurd interest (moon trine venus/aquarius),
Cancer :174: covering houses 1 and 2 is building self esteem, self focus, and money, and adopting new values, buying new things. Looking at what really matters, and getting a new job,

regarding your birth chart, you have Moon in Aries in your 5th house, this creates a strong need for Love. And because its opposite Venus, many relationships you have will not go as you would like, and may take some time before meeting a suitable partner.

Aries Moon :171: :152: is very *impatient and *needy, so you always need to keep your standards high, and never rush, as this can be a mistake you make, and thinking that love is there when its false love and not genuine passion.
In general Iv discovered a pattern of Aries Moon people not doing well in relationships, I also have aries moon, and a few others I know have had bad luck with partners too.

There are currently some good job opportunities for you, shown in the chart with moon sextile jupiter in 6th (lucky with work) and the job front is currently in your favour.
You also have good career opportunities in your own chart with jupiter in your 10th(career house), and mc in Leo is an authoritive leader position, or career in the Arts.

Your likely to meet a partner through friends (venus in 11th house) and ideal partners will be Taurus-like devoted, practical, passionate, down to earth, security orientated, artistic and money driven/materialistic, businesslike.

You will attract other scorpios and aggressive partners in general, mars conjunct sun in first house.

Venus in your chart, shows what makes you happy, in 11th in libra, is goin to nice places with friends, shopping, banter, socialising, joining clubs

(Horary for situation and direction, others feel free to comment, on the chart ie guidence)
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March 22, 2019 at 16:26
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user Olenna, who already deleted profile on this website:
=====
That Moon in Aries definitely says you have to put yourself first, because you tend to idealistically believe in others too much. You have to be the one to decide everything, specially emotional stuff. You have to communicate your true nature and needs, to partners and anyone really. There has to be some kind of freeing of relying on others too much. Those 3 planets in the 1st unaspected is just undirected strong energy that has to go somewhere, my best guess is that`s why you have so many issues with depression. Find something to direct that towards, a good thing would be sports, investigation of some sort, like doing research. Whatever it is use that energy so it does not stagnate and bubble up in nasty ways. You have good abilities for education, learning things, that should help. Be aware in relationships because you have a tendency to not see people clearly for who they really are. Maybe you can become some kind of healer, medical profession seems strong with you. Hope this helps, if you have questions do ask.
March 22, 2019 at 19:55
(Leo) pilipili
Hey hun, firstly sorry you are going through some shit. Unfortunately (or fortunately if you can be positive about it) the essence of Scorpio is to die (figuratively) and be reborn, over and over again.

You are a Scorpio on steroids sun, asc and Pluto on 1st, that is a lot of Scorpio. Is a beautiful energy if you can work with it.

There are 3 types of scorp according to your evolution :

The scorpion is the lower, the eagle is the higher, and then the phoenix, which is reborn from it´s ashes.

The lower is the gelous, obsessed, secretive, revengeful etc

Once you learn to redirect the same energy inwards (instead of focusing on others) you get to transform yourself into a beautiful more positive eagle and once you flow with this ´dying´ thing then you become something quite special.

One may ask how do you evolve? Doing the inner work, forgiving others, allowing what no longer serves you to go, transform bitterness in inner strength.


What is happening to you recently is just your Saturn return (Saturn is coming back to its point of the natal chart). This is a fucked up period (pardon my language) basically is the old grumpy one coming to obstaculize, make you grow, mature, constrict etc
The good news? Is nearly over and once he passes himself you will feel much better.

Advice :focus on yourself, regain your strength and your self value and start slowly getting ready for your new project.

A new business, write a book, something creative u choose.

I feel that you may be able to communicate higher truths and help others somehow through artsy stuff

Much love
P
March 23, 2019 at 05:27
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com
System message: Post has been written by user Davis212, who already deleted profile on this website:
=====
Hi!

I really admire your honesty and strength of character in coming here with a cry for help. And I am very sorry for what you are going through, :-(


I promise to take a real good look at your chart and to offer you my insights/recommendations.


It won´t be today, but I´ll get back to you in the next 2-3 days.


Would you rather receive it privately, or are you okay with me posting it here?
March 23, 2019 at 05:29
(Aries) ram_goat » Davis212
Why not post what is permissible here? Keep the rest private.

Your reads are pretty good.

For the benefit of others with similar placements..

That´s my vote.
March 23, 2019 at 05:34
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » ram_goat
System message: Post has been written by user Davis212, who already deleted profile on this website:
=====
Thanks for the validation; most kind! ??


Fair enough, I´ll post what I can here for the benefit of others too. Then I can follow up on her privately to make sure she does ok.


Thanks for the suggestion, ??
March 23, 2019 at 05:45
(Aries) ram_goat » Davis212
If she´s as open as her initial post seems to indicate, I´m guessing it will meet with her approval too. A non-secretive scorpio!! How unusual.
Maybe she´s in something like a Joni Mitchell "Blue" phase. Confessional. Throwing it all out there can be cathartic in its own way, and help the phoenix rise from the ashes. I get in this mode sometimes too, with my own MC & house 10 related stuff. There comes a point sometimes where you get a sense that there is nothing more the world can take away from you, no hurt you haven´t already felt, no place you haven´t already been stabbed & bleeding and throwing it out there confirms, proves, and affirms this. It helps the phoenix. Knowing you are still alive & not dead yet, despite it all.

There is wisdom in it if you can make yourself do it. For some it doesn´t come easy, or runs too contrary to their intuition & sense of logic. To each their own.
March 23, 2019 at 18:08
(Taurus) Astro-Seek.com » ram_goat
System message: Post has been written by user Davis212, who already deleted profile on this website:
=====
“If she´s as open as her initial post seems to indicate, I´m guessing it will meet with her approval too.”


Yes, I feel that way too!


“A non-secretive scorpio!! How unusual.”


VERY unusual indeed! Haha!


“Maybe she´s in something like a Joni Mitchell ‘Blue’ phase. Confessional.”


Perhaps so, :-)


“Throwing it all out there can be cathartic in its own way, and help the phoenix rise from the ashes.”


It can indeed! No better way to heal oneself than letting it all out!


“I get in this mode sometimes too, with my own MC & house 10 related stuff.”


Yeah, me too! A 12th house Pisces Moon with a big Mercury mouth, haha!


“There comes a point sometimes where you get a sense that there is nothing more the world can take away from you, no hurt you haven´t already felt, no place you haven´t already been stabbed & bleeding and throwing it out there confirms, proves, and affirms this.”


Believe me, I know the feeling, :-( , having my Moon in Pisces in my 12th house and my Saturn debilitated in my Ascendant. Add to that Sun conjunct Pluto, and we have the necessary mix for many deaths and rebirths VERY painful scenarios! ??


“It helps the phoenix. Knowing you are still alive & not dead yet, despite it all.”


Yeah, Nothing better than pain to transform a soul!



“There is wisdom in it if you can make yourself do it. For some it doesn´t come easy, or runs too contrary to their intuition & sense of logic. To each their own.”


I understand; not everybody is equipped with the ability (because it IS an ability) to face pain/adversity and to use it to transform themselves. Fortunately for most of us astrology lovers, we are! ???
March 23, 2019 at 21:01
(Taurus) nutelina » ram_goat
18.11. + 2019 = 5. I´m seeing personal year 5? So changes perhaps?
March 23, 2019 at 21:04
(Cancer) Trevor77 » nutelina
big change in her life yep, moon square pluto in her horary chart
March 23, 2019 at 21:11
(Taurus) nutelina » Trevor77
I´m not an expert at this :15:
March 23, 2019 at 21:24
(Cancer) Trevor77 » nutelina
me neither :36:
March 23, 2019 at 21:30
(Taurus) nutelina » Trevor77
Where is the facepalm icon? :61: Cheers :37:
March 23, 2019 at 21:32
(Cancer) Trevor77 » nutelina
:61: not yet anyway, but taking my diploma very soon
March 23, 2019 at 21:36
(Taurus) nutelina » Trevor77
Oh really! Congrats man! :75: :15:
March 23, 2019 at 22:25
(Pisces) Waterandfire
First thing that I saw when I looked at your chart (besides all the Scorpio/Pluto/water energy) is that you have Neptune and Uranus squaring your Venus. One of the things that Neptune does is she creates illusion, while Uranus creates shock and surprise - both of these planets are making a tense aspect to Venus, which is where you experience love, beauty, sensuality, how you make money and how you feel about all of these things. With Neptune and Uranus in Capricorn in the 3rd House, those energies (illusion, surprise, shock) are going to sternly be expressed via all types of communication, transportation, short trips, siblings, etc. With Venus in Libra, this can cause you to be a people pleaser, especially being in the 11th House. You are learning that you must stand up for yourself and take charge of your life (see below).

I also noticed you have your North Node in Capricorn. In this lifetime you are learning to release caretaking, codependence, passivity, shyness, fear of abandonment, emotional responses, self-soothing, too much feminine energy, too much attachment to being mothered. You need to embrace leadership, professional and business acumen, being proactive, empowering others instead of enabling, living a public life, cool-headed vision, masculine energy.

I also see that you are close to or you are now having your Saturn return. I believe Saturn is waking you up to the changes that need to be made to the way you "run your life." Saturn does this to us all, and you have the power to make the changes that will make you the beautiful and powerful person that you are.

This is my very brief assessment. I wish you the best. :178:
March 28, 2019 at 16:26
(Libra) leorising
I love this astro-seek forum, everyone collaborates with what they know to help others :18: :18: :79:
March 28, 2019 at 17:03
(Scorpio) Eunha
Well you are getting close to your Saturn return
they say it gets all better when it passes

I think what makes your life hard are the lunar nodes
they make squares with your moon
you should try to focus on your north node and speak up more
u just need to let your thoughts and ideas out
but now both Saturn and Pluto are making this hard for you

idk any way to help but I suggest you to find out more about the nodes
maybe this could bring you some peace of mind
April 2, 2019 at 10:16
(Scorpio) jordanamelia » ram_goat
Thanks all so much for the replies - I have spent some time reading over them and feeling really glad I posted in here. I guess I wanted to be as open as possible on here knowing vagueness would probably not get me the answers/guidance on my chart I needed. I had never looked at the aspect table of my chart before and was unsure what squares & oppositions really meant - so thank you, will look into this further!
April 2, 2019 at 10:31
(Scorpio) jordanamelia » Trevor77
Hi Trevor, thank you so much for your reply it was really informative and has definitely helped. So interesting about spending time by myself as that´s something I´ve been doing a lot and it definitely helps me to feel recharged, but then I worry I´m doing that too often! A new job is something I´m so desperate for but feel I haven´t had any focus for about a year and a half - it´s been so hard to even make sure I´m eating properly if I am totally honest, never mind to find a job. (I have had some interviews that are looking positive as of last week though - so feeling hopeful!)

You´re right in that relationships have never gone the way I´d liked (even brief ones), sometimes this even is true for friendships. The more I learn about my aries moon the more I understand myself I feel - I am definitely impatient, if I think of a plan or an idea I have to do it immediately (sometimes to the point of obsession)
"so you always need to keep your standards high, and never rush, as this can be a mistake you make, and thinking that love is there when its false love and not genuine passion" - this was great to read so thank you. It rang so true for me. In fact I had an incident last year I briefly saved some money to go working in Australia with a friend for a few months - I´d had three bad things happen to me in the space of a week (the first falling down an entire flight of industrial metal spiral stairs and splitting my head open and the second was at the end of this week I was spiked but someone got me home safely), I´d gone into the bar I was working at after this to speak to one of the bar managers and she started telling me I have someone looking out for me, and described who it was and I had never experienced anything like this being somewhat sceptical about the dead - but one of the few things said was about my naivety towards people/thinking people aren´t what they really are. So this has resonated with me so much.

I seem to attract a lot of Taurus´ in my life. Both my previous partners were but both were on the aggressive side.
April 2, 2019 at 10:45
(Scorpio) jordanamelia » Olenna
Thanks so much for the reply. Enjoying learning more and more about my Aries moon as it´s resonating a lot with me. You´re right in that I do idealistically believe in others too much or the way ´things/people´ ´should be´. Relying on others too much is something I´m focusing on trying to solve definitely as I know I can and I think sometimes has led me to feel more alone if the few I ´relied´ on weren´t there when I should just rely on myself.
Also really interesting about investigation, as I started my family tree a year and a half ago and I enjoyed getting stuck into that so much, found it really exciting. "Be aware in relationships because you have a tendency to not see people clearly for who they really are." definitely something I have an issue with and need to resolve, and feel knowing I have this tendency going forward I will be more aware of it.
April 2, 2019 at 10:51
(Scorpio) jordanamelia » pilipili
Thank you for your reply! "You are a Scorpio on steroids sun, asc and Pluto on 1st, that is a lot of Scorpio. Is a beautiful energy if you can work with it." I remember from first looking at my chart I did feel as though I had a lot of scorpio energy and wasn´t sure how to take this at first! The idea of being reborn and evolution is really fascinating to me and for the longest time have looked at myself/my mind as if "this is how it´ll always be" not too sound too dramatic but just in a naive way of thinking that that´s how I was and that was final, whereas now I see everything as a constant process and I hope that I am evolving slowly. "One may ask how do you evolve? Doing the inner work, forgiving others, allowing what no longer serves you to go, transform bitterness in inner strength." - this is really great advice thank you, I feel slowly as though I am letting things go, not completely but holding onto them less intensely as I did before.

I have got back into drawing and painting recently though my motivation keeps slipping badly, but when I have done bits it´s felt positive
April 2, 2019 at 10:53
(Scorpio) jordanamelia » Davis212
Hi there, thank you so much! I am happy to keep everything open as discussed in here if anyone was to come across the thread and take anything from it I think that would be brilliant. Just as happy to go a little deeper in messages if possible too though.
April 2, 2019 at 10:59
(Scorpio) jordanamelia » ram_goat
I wonder what makes me so open compared to usual Scorpio´s! I definitely can be closed off and secretive at times though, talking about this kind of stuff is harder for me in ´real life/person´ - in fact I´m sat here thinking and I think there is only one close friend and my Mum in real life who I´ve been fully open to about things - over the years I have opened up to people and had it not received the best, so I can be cautious. I feel writing here in this forum I feel quite safe discussing so openly
"There comes a point sometimes where you get a sense that there is nothing more the world can take away from you, no hurt you haven´t already felt, no place you haven´t already been stabbed & bleeding and throwing it out there confirms, proves, and affirms this. It helps the phoenix. Knowing you are still alive & not dead yet, despite it all." so true and beautifully put I need to remember this
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