will i open up more in 2021?

January 3, 2021 at 00:03 (UT/GMT)
(Aries) inka
will i open up more in 2021?
hello, my question would be more psychological i guess not astrological but i need to ask it.Firstly ill tell my story.

So since 10 years or even more i have been associated with the architecture field. And many people from my high school were surprised in a positive way that i enrolled on Archtecture at University of Technology and etc. I didnt know actually what price i would pay to study. And its a price of a lack of a private life, and some kind of sacrifice of normal life to the architecture IF i wanted to be good and have a good job after.
So even if i didnt like my architecture collegues from my faculty - because for me they have been too ´solid´ and too ´heavy´ minded, too slow, I didnt have anything bad in mind and i was respecting everyone. Before in the high school my friends were totally different, i was more energetic dynamic, more like adhd person. But since i have been into architecture field i have been associated with more ´ old´ sould and more slow movement. And actually i dont like it.

2.5 years ago i finished prolonged studies and i started working full time. And i again put myself in an environment which was very professional but yet very slow and very strict- totally opposite to my behaviour. AND I KNOW that we need to divide professional and private part but in my case even my work mates in private have been very strict and slow.
So maybe the stereotype of an architect who is slow, not dynamic, very focused on the work is still true?
Im not that person!! i lack creativity ((YES!!!)) and i lack adventure. I wish my job would not be so hard that after this im exhausted mentally... I do not want to sacrifice my life to architecture. All of my workmates are like in a schedule- architecture, private life architecture private life. Even their wifes or husbands are architects... I dont want it.... Im not that person.

I can connect my professional side which is architecture with private which is dynamic, adventourous - BUT i need to learn again HOW. I am afraid i am lack of my aries spark and the way i was BEFORE. I am afraid that because of this LACK OF SPARK i wont be able to find anyone- boyfriend, a husband that will suit me . Really i am not operating on my good vibrations...
People in architecture told me that im disorganised, colorful bird, more energetic than them. I felt burdened and like in a cage.

Do you think that in 2021 its a better time to OPEN UP and be more energetic and adventurous? i miss this. i wish i travelled more, because of pandemics also my payment has decreased and i collect money in a very scrupulous way... i dont waste money now. but i like this reckleness and being more FREE

and i must add lastly that i enjoy home office and working from home. because im not in this schedule and not in a structure like everyone. and i can do my duties in pijamas but job is well done. and noone looks at me weirdly when i sit differently ( like they used to look at me )
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April 15, 2022 at 00:52
(Taurus) Rosincvist
I like Minor Planet Pallas for software, you are more intelligent than you shall ever be given credit for!

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