Sexual Trauma : Awareness - Discussions, questions

Psycho Hi!Glad to find this topic, is so hard to find some indicators.I have some flashes about it, I was maybe 1-2y old,so it´s possible that I dreamed something. Since my father passed away, I´m not so quite good, strange 1year passed already.So I´m trying find answer in astrology.If you could only take a look please on my chart? I wanna start breathing again. Many thanks.

Gunas » MelodicBlu Ofcourse, you can only do it yourself. It´s like learning how to play an instrument. You can take a lot of lessons from the best of teachers, which will help, but they can´t programm your brain with the right muscle memory. That all depends on you. The brain works in a similar way i think.

Professional help can be a good first step though, just for the sake of letting it out. Just renember that the word "proffesional" means that someone is making money out of it. You can also talk to friends, which is free, and they won´t talk you into taking prescription drugs, which will make the problem worse. Facing your fears is the only way of curing trauma.

My first experiences with sex were rubbish. It was with a cold, unaffectionate girl, and i´m a Cancer with then little self-confidence, so yeah...
I couldnt get it up! I was really depressed because of it.
Then, the "lust of result" got a hold of me, I just wanted to make it work, and was not a second busy with actually enjoying it. I did not realise that then. Luckily I have a big sex drive, so sometimes i was so horny it would work. But then i was glad it was over, Mission accomplished hehehe. The relationship didn´t last long.

Later, i met older, warmer girls who would seduce me thoroughly and make me feel comfortable, and the problem was no more. They actually gave me a lot of confidence. Now I enjoy sex intensely.

I told these things openly to friends, even in a group. They would look at me astounded with big eyes, because of the tabboo you know. But afterwards they would respect me for it. Also they would trust and appreciate me more. It will relief you to tell someone in RL. If you´re anxious about telling it to someone, try to tell it with humour. Some say self deprecation is the highest form of art...

If that´s not an option, at least write it down for yourself and read it back later. It will relief you. Or better, post it on a forum online ;)

Some man will be less fortunate then me I suppose. If thats you, renember that a hooker is an unfriendly name for a supreme sex-therapist :) It´s their job

MelodicBlu » goldenlion32 Thanks! :)

goldenlion32 Nice job!

MelodicBlu » nikkia I was a bit hesitant to mention it 2 replies earlier, because i didn´t want to possibly discourage anyone in seeking help, by indeed the reality of professionals with whom you don´t click or who don´t do a decent job in therapy.
But you pointed it out and i´m glad you did so.
It sure is a struggle.
But light will come to those who want it.
Once you´ve spoken up, you´re heard and the caretakers also help on your path towards the right professional. Atleast, here in Belgium they do so.

nikkia » MelodicBlu I am very sorry to hear this. But I am not surprised, sadly.

It took 20 years before I found a CAPABLE Professional - one who could ´go there´
There are VERY few of this caliber. It´s a shame, too.

Seeking help is one thing - seeking CAPABLE help is another.

Just like quack doctors, ´bad´ professionals can do more harm than good.
Not every professional is capable. And, not every capable professional will ´gel´ with you, either.
You need both to really do ´The Work´.

Finding one who Specializes in a ´certain´ area - who you can trust - is key.

nutelina » nikkia Yeah I did something called the Avatar course, it´s origins come from Scientology and it´s very interesting to say the least. Also there you were working with yourself and later with either prof. coaches or students. If that would have been church, hallelujah

MelodicBlu » nikkia "Stages of awareness. Stages of healing. Rinse and repeat"

Waw, i find this one really powerful and a true reflection of reality & psychology

I´m glad you got the right person to guide you through it.
I havnt been fortunate in that aspect, never. i experience delay, obstacles and blockades of all sorts when it comes to therapy/professional help. I´ve done most of it myself

nutelina » MelodicBlu I read about LSD when I was 16, I was always interested in the unknown and what is hiding behind our senses and thinking, what is possible? Luckily Holland´s drug policy was loose but it´s a shame to call these drugs. Real drugs come from big pharma. A friend even told me he knows people who abuse these perscription drugs.

No, I think nature will always be more intelligent and beautiful than evil. I even think you cannot evolve without taking psychedelics. People thought they can medidate or train their consciousness. No taking psychedelics is like a compuer taking a computer virus to shut down the operating system and experience something else, not go through the gatekeeper. I think either way reality is high bandwith and our brains and upbringing are designed to tone everything down, but nothing is worse than the indoctrination we live in and governments like it that way. Sheep sheep, bééé!

nikkia » MelodicBlu The Courage to Heal says a mouthful. Seeking help is strength.

I agree that no one can sit forever and ignore the damage inside. From my tiny sphere experience, the brain has a ´protective´ layer. It will or will not not allow you to ´deal´ until you are willing, ready and able. This is why my path came in stages. Stages of awareness. Stages of healing. Rinse and repeat.

There is no better way to face such issues than with a qualified and capable Professional to be a beacon while navigating such dark waters. One such Professional saved my life - although he insisted I did all the work. I might´ve made it to shore - but he led the way. Forever grateful to him for being the "light."

MelodicBlu » nikkia Beautifully worded and thank you for being open about it.
It´s true that regards such subjects you have to watch your words and vocabulary,
Someone could be reading this who is still in the stages of denial.
However one can not sit there forever and ignore the damage inside.

For me too, it took 7 months to realize i was in a bad and toxic situation.
It took that long (or short? idk) to realize my actions were navigated through manipulation.
The moment one realizes the toxicity of their environment is also the moment in which the doors for healing open. Something i wish upon every victim/survivor of any kind of abuse, is that they may find self-love and healing.

Seeking professional help is a HUGE step, and i remember the support of the people near me being of HUGE importance in finding the courage for wanting to heal.

Some people don´t have loved ones, or people they trust. and to those too i hope my page can reach them, in which i want to support & encourage them to say yes to ´i want to get out of this dark place´ .

Thank you for your kind words, i appreciate it enormously :)

nikkia Great stuff here. Thank you for posting this.

I´ve got NN and Uranus Rx in the 8th - so, yeah. I´ve had to deal with such issues over the course of a lifetime - in varying stages of awareness and healing.

Sexual trauma /shame are rarely topics for ´polite conversation´ which only serves to keep this very important subject in the shadows. Slowly, more light is being shed on sexual trauma and shame. Hopefully, this will continue until we all become more enlightened.

It takes bravery to approach this subject - whether privately or openly. It takes guts and balls to do it publicly, imho. Good work !!!
If I can help in any way - I will.
I look forward to your future findings.

MelodicBlu » nutelina Oh..
Well i don´t know shit about drugs actually. i dont have experience in that field, but sure if you like to use those recreational, go ahead.
I relate that the social distancing is getting heavy at this point.
Tho i also have to admit that i absolutely enjoy being home in true isolation anyway, in fact im even kinda bothered that i´m never really home alone anymore during this corona virus.

better times will come :)

nutelina » MelodicBlu Not sure, you mean like taking MDMA? That\´s what I would do. LSD and shrooms can be good too but TBH it\´s getting very lonely and out of touch here quick with the CV-madness, see video.

nutelina » MelodicBlu Not sure, you mean like taking MDMA? That´s what I would do. LSD and shrooms can be good too but TBH it´s getting very lonely and out of touch here quick with the CV-madness.

MelodicBlu » nutelina well its a very beneficial time for you to do research, something thats best done when you are in isolation anyway! :D

nutelina » MelodicBlu Thanks, I´ll dive deep. Unfortunately we are in lockdown. Forbidden to meet people

MelodicBlu » nutelina Good point. Im unafraid to stare into the darkness, i know other people may find it difficult to do so. however, maybe by sharing my plutonic approach to hings, may encourage others to see beauty in plutonic energy (symbolic death & rebirth)
It´s still up to the reader of my website to do what they want with the information.
well said about ;the risk and reward in one´ lal thats your aries energy i guess. courageous :)

T Mars in 8th, EPIC. i had it end of last year. best transit i ever had (not regards sexlife) enjoy your mars in 8th moment. great time to dive DEEP

nutelina » MelodicBlu Sure, but remember to be a scorpio, not all people are ready to open up, slow and steady, above all, they need to feel safe. Which is quite hard to do. And you will encounter painful things in yourself but that is the risk and reward in one! And people might judge you, be prepared for that.

Btw my Mars is transiting my 8th house.

MelodicBlu » nutelina Thank you for being open. Those who are wounded need to be supported by the act and spread of awareness in the community or society. THIS gives them strength to take the first steps into seeking therapy, if indeed the trauma is taking over and dominating one´s life.
I also wanted to mention that spreading awareness to help victims feel more accepted, is not an act out of naivity or a pat on the back "hey man, cool, u not alone" but a kind push in the back to recognize one´s trauma´s and to realize it´s needed to take action.

nutelina You know I´m really stuck up conservative and I don´t like to see confusing and loaded stuff. But if it is my turn I do a ton of garbage myself. So to be honest I really think that what you are trying to do is great, it´s just I´ve somewhere given up on this idea. But I do think this is exactly what is needed. Therapy through reconnecting with your feeling. I think Freud? talked a lot about these infantile stages, sucking, pooping, sexual development. If there is any trauma, which is very likely in this stupid society, the child is sure to have some trauma.

My best friend from elementary school would piss his pants regulary when he was staying overnight. He was very anxious about it and I had to sweat to keep it a secret, for me he was my best friend so I didn´t even think about it. He had such cold parents that I don´t wonder but funny to see, him being the joker and Mr. popular, had to have every girl and even succeeded doing just that. Yet he would have this ´trauma´. Later I found out he was not only opposite Sun (Libra) but Moon (scorpio) too! He was a great friend but we lost touch when I moved to Prague.

MelodicBlu » dani_mae1 Thank you for saying this
Glad to have support in me wanting to support others :)
I believe this stigma will be broken one day, humanity is slowly awakening, mostly.

dani_mae1 » MelodicBlu “i only want to support, help, guide and raise awareness for anything thats too painful to openly talk about.“

I feel that in my soul. I can’t wait till the stigma is broken. Posts and websites like yours definitely give hope for that!

MelodicBlu » dani_mae1 Oh yeh, thats spot on. assholes still walk around on the planet.
I have written about seeking professional help on this page, we think alike ;)
I do not want to be put responsible for anything bad happening to others, i only want to support, help, guide and raise awareness for anything thats too painful to openly talk about.

dani_mae1 This is great great stuff. I love seeing this kinda good in the world. However with all people who do good, there are those who wish us to fail. I really think you got something good here. But definitely add a section encouraging people to seek professional help too to cover your butt legally. Such a world we live in :(