Desperate - Second Marriage, delayed? or denied?

September 22, 2019 at 10:59 (UT/GMT)
(Capricorn) Samson117
Desperate - Second Marriage, delayed? or denied?
Please help me...

I am recently divorced from a man I was with throughout my moon dasha. It was never a perfect relationship - a good amount of verbal and emotional abuse, but we worked on some level. Our composite had saturn in the 4th (felt like a job and not love), no water signs, and a very full 6th house. It felt like a prison. The relationship suited our egos and made us very popular with our community, but very emotionally empty and abusive.

I am now in mars dasha and am so worried about whether I am going to remarry. I am focused on my career, but my mental health is declining due to fallout of divorce. My family fell apart, lost many friends, and public humilation, and stress affecting my career. I am aimless and just want some assurance I am not cursed!

I also have a Rahu Dasa coming up in a few years that is giving me A LOT of anxiety. My life has not been easy so far and I am starting to feel like I am paying the price from a terrible past life.

To settle my mind---Is the second marriage in the stars for me? When can I expect this? What type of person will he be?
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February 21, 2020 at 00:22
(Capricorn) Samson117 » ShriSaiganeshE-jyotish
yes - his chart was western whole sign. accurate sidereal whole house chart in synastry.

6/8 moons - lots of bickering. we were like a old couple. humor would help alleviate conflict, but when stress & life pressure arrived, there was little to no support to one another. unable to see each other´s perspective and meet needs. no empathy.

yes - sun/merc cap, we both are hardworking and enjoy intellectual conversations.

his sat-venus - yes, he was very affectionate. more so than I, but did not open about his needs. Just kept them to himself. difficult to know what he wanted, needed, or when he was disappointed.

he does see relationship as a duty. i think this is why he is considering reconciliation. partially feels guilty that i supported him to get him to school, then did not support me when i needed it.

although we do have conflict with unmet emotional needs, we both are very self-sufficient. Yes - we do have similar view of spirituality, but I am much more spiritual than he. He is much more focused on logic.

He has already changed a lot since we divorced - we both have. He is moving into sun dasha now, so I am cautious and unsure how his personality will evolve in the next few months - 1 year. I will use your advice and insight to help me decide what is right for me. thank you!
February 20, 2020 at 06:36
(Capricorn) ShriSaiganeshE-jyotish » Samson117
Your moons sag and cancer are 6/8 but friendly signs with lords jup-moon,
prone to sweet conflicts which can be resolved;

Asc signs cancer n leo again friendly with lords moon-sun;

sun-mer cap both charts; hardworking, intellectual,
literary-oratory-mathematical abilities;

both mars/sat-venus scorpio, passionate, forensic aptitudes,
while sat-venus craving for affection but difficult to manifest,
and mutual health issues in relationship;
while could have artistic aptitudes like metal music, metal sculpting etc;
wear 0.25 carat diamond over platinum pendant touching heart;

both ketu SNode virgo, critical thinking/attitude;
prayers to Mother Goddess, offer red flowers at alter wed evenings;

his 9th lord mars negating to 8th pisces with rahu NNode,
negating luck, rise-fall in life, toxic health issues;
wear brown hessonite over pendant touching heart;

his lords 1/7 sun-sat over cap-scorpio 3/11, unfriendly signs,
mere forced dutiful relationship;

nakshatras purvashada-punarvasu 22/36 points,
satisfy bear minimum points at 18+;

purvashada the war bugle dispersing the fear/danger, humane emotions/sentimental;
punarvasu the noble godly nakshatra, may not be exactly compatible;
could be supportive for mutual spiritual pursuits rather;
donate 1.25 pounds each large white beans and yellow gram in charity
either on a thursday or friday evening;
offer white n yellow flowers at the alter at home;

hope helps take stock and see where a compromise is possible to reconcile
with awareness and long-term mutuality; having known each other well
with share of sweet conflicts; taking corrective actions;

do share feedbacks how true-helpful, wishing you well,

February 20, 2020 at 05:54
(Capricorn) ShriSaiganeshE-jyotish » Samson117
his whole signs sidereal natal chart does not match the placements in the synastry chart, which chart is the correct one??

seems to be whole signs western chart rather??
February 20, 2020 at 00:01
(Capricorn) Samson117 » ShriSaiganeshE-jyotish
Ex´s sidereal whole house chart.

Time is not confirmed. I know he was born 9:10-9:30. Moon & ascendant only shifts a few degrees.
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February 19, 2020 at 23:59
(Capricorn) Samson117 » ShriSaiganeshE-jyotish
My ex and I are very good at supporting each other in career. We seem to be a very modern, ´power´ couple type with strong duel career and earning potential. Does this mean we aren´t destined to have a family together?

Sidereal, Whole house Synastry below.

Curious - Do you know much about d9 navamsa?
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February 19, 2020 at 05:30
(Capricorn) ShriSaiganeshE-jyotish » Samson117
Appreciate the so prompt resonating feedbacks!

jup is now transit moon-sat sag own sign,
lords 1/7 conjunct;
jup 6th transit conciliatory attitude; extra effort required.
you may explore; coincidentally thought of mentioning it
but avoided the thought as just divorced and ketu/sat transits;

btw it may be more worthwhile looking at the synastry chart/sidereal
for long-term compatibility; may post his sidereal chart too;

ketu is yet transiting moon-sat, and sat now transit sun cap 7th,
ketu moves to mars scorpio 5th year end;
may be can follow some preventive remedies already suggested;

wishing well, kshantaram
February 18, 2020 at 20:58
(Capricorn) Samson117 » ShriSaiganeshE-jyotish
ShriSaiganeshE-jyotish -- Thank you for the response.

A lot of what you wrote was quite accurate. Yes - biggest problem with last marriage was that I wanted fairness
& equal partnership working together. I felt like the subordinate or employee, then.

I´ve learned a lot now about ego and now see I could have done with a bit more patience and focus on myself. I do think we called it quits too early. We were going through a transition and I couldn´t take the stress. It was traumatic.

My ex is back in my life and wants to see if we can make it work, again. He graduates in May and wants to move in together. Is this a bad idea? Are we not compatible if we divorced once? Have we already learned lessons from each other and need to move on? (We are good at supporting each others goals.) Will I miss opportunity to meet the right man if I stay with my ex for now?

MARS 5th Scorpio / Dasa - Yes... a little tempermental... it was cute when I was younger, but now I need to find a way to calm down. Trying to divert my energy into work, so I am calmer in personal relationships.

VENUS 8th - yes, i danced my whole life, even in college. very artistic and very reserved.

JUP-RAHU PISCES 9th - Yes, rise and fall in life. I spent almost 10 years with ex helping him get into medical school. Everybody was jealous of me because i ´made it´ marrying a soon to be doctor, then we divorced before he graduated. I do feel that if I get married again, it will be very spiritual and focused on self-mastery, rather than traditional family. I am very jupitarian - always about growth (my saggy moon!) & Jup in midheaven.

SNODE VIRGO 3rd - yes, I do a lot of critical thinking and auditing in current job role. Yes, detachment from siblings. Never been very close to them.

Rahu to Taurus 11th-
My current job deals with a lot of ´hidden´ money (venus 8th). We work with large corporations with unaccounted money and allocating to different projects. Big industry and even bigger unaccounted dollars. Curious if that is how the gains from foreigners is developing in my life. Ideally, the gain is directly to me via relationship and not my work.

My mom used to say all the time that life is hard, and I never believed her.....
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February 18, 2020 at 16:34
(Capricorn) Samson117 » Sus
Marriage is definitely not the answer to happiness! I now understand that, but companionship and mutual support and care are important to me.

The way society is set up, people usually find these in marriage. At least the communities I grew up in. I’ve seen a few of my uncles and my ex’s aunt who chose to not marry and devoted themselves to work and their nieces and nephews. Now everybody is all grown and moving away and on with their lives. I sometimes worry what they’ll do with themselves.

I supposed it’s selfish to think about marriage as a security for life long companionship and devotion, but I think most decisions in life come from a selfish place.

For now, I’ll continue to enjoy work, make new friends and take care of me, but I’d love find someone to commit to and focus my energy on.

To each his own - I’m glad you are enjoying single life. Yes, no socks on the floor is a nice change of pace ?
February 18, 2020 at 16:07
(Sagittarius) Sus
Why is marriage the ultimate way to happiness??
It´s not!!
Find yourself first. Heal your self first. Elevate your inner energy so you don´t attract the wrong people to you.
I´m divorced for a year now and I assure you I don´t want to marry again. I just want to love and be loved.
I feel so happy when I go out to meet my SO! It´s like dating when I was 20!
No more socks on the floor or water botles on the floor or cooking everydays and being a housekeeper....noooooo
February 18, 2020 at 16:03
(Capricorn) ShriSaiganeshE-jyotish
sidereal whole signs chart : if could post for ready ref!

moon-sat lords 1/7 conjunct,
seeking mutuality in relationship but strained;

2nd lord sun over 7th, financial support from spouse,´
seeking well-to-do spouse but separative tendencies;
7th lord sat with moon negating to the 6th negating marriage;

jup-ketu separative SNode now transit moon-sat;
pain-injury-surgery, coping with opponents,
job separation, detachment from relationship;
Asc lord moon over 6th, health issues;
wear pearl over silver pendant touching heart;

Sat just moved over sun-mer cap 7th,
impacting health-marriage;
observe fast sat evenings;

Mars dasa, mars own scorpio 5th,
research-occult-forensic-metallurgical aptitudes,
temperamental in romance-relationship;

venus acq 8th, reserved in expression;
artistic aptitudes, dance etc;
chronic kidney issues;

2nd marriage from house 9th,
jup-rahu pisces 9th,
self-mastery, spirituality, secular,
learning to be sensitive, acting skills,
foreign travels, pilgrimage,
but prone to vitiating judgment,
rise-fall in life, toxic liver-feet-thigh issues;

prayers for ancestors,
observe fast No-moon evenings,
observe death anniversaries religiously,
wear brown hessonite over pendant touching heart;

moon-jup lords 1/9 square over sag-pisces,
same lord jup and compatible,
but mutual challenges in relationship;
jup-sat square moreover;

ketu separative SNode over virgo 3rd, critical thinking,
good for audit-quality-editorial roles etc,
pain-injury-surgery arms-shoulders-ears-intestinals etc,
detachment from siblings;
prayers to Mother Goddess,
offer red flowers at alter at home wed evenings;

hope jup transit moon-sat sag promotes relationship,
jup effective mid-course march-june 020
to watch for with element of hope;
while jup-sat later transit venus 8th for relationship;
and later jup moves to own pisces 9th for 2nd marriage;
and rahu dasa for a secular foreign relationship;

rahu sooner later year end moves to taurus 11th
for gains from foreigners to watch;
while ketu transits mars scorpio 5th,´
detachment from romance-children-position etc to care
and pain-injury-surgery-abortion etc;

moon sag compatible with moons
sag, leo, aries

hope this rambling provides insights and hope,
do share how true traits-talents-health-life trends-remedies etc

wishing well, kshantaram
February 18, 2020 at 05:34
(Pisces) fishscales » Samson117

Glad evetything is working out better for you... Whatever you´re doing, keep doing it...
February 18, 2020 at 05:16
(Capricorn) Samson117 » fishscales
I appreciate you taking the time out to help me get my head on straight. I did, in fact, focus on myself and my daily routine.

I don´t know how to express how much your advice meant to me. I didn´t respond right away because your advice and desire to help touched me so deeply in my time of need and desperation, that I was so caught off guard.

I´m so grateful that you found my message and felt the need to respond. It really did change my outlook and helped me get to a better place.

Thank you.

Love always.
February 18, 2020 at 05:12
(Capricorn) Samson117 » nikkia
I want to say ´thank you´ for your thoughtful and supportive response. I have been going through so much and was having a difficult time keeping my head on straight. I read your response and was so overwhelmed that I didn´t know what to say, but I thought about your advice everyday for the past few months.

Your advice was honestly the only solid advice I was given during such a difficult time. I focused on work and made sure I felt secure in my place at work, or at the very least, put myself in a position where I could pivot to another job. Now I feel ´safe´ enough in the world to care for myself and feel ´safe´ in the world.

I am not done healing yet, but I do feel a change in my energy and what I am attracting. I am no longer coming from a place of fear and need.

I am giving myself compassion & love for being imperfect, which I´ve never done before. I think divorce and having my life crumble around me was my wake-up call to be okay with who I am, not what I have. I am learning to embody love.

Thank you for being such a kind heart.

Love always.
September 22, 2019 at 19:32
(Aquarius) nikkia
I´m so sorry that this is happing. I´ve lived through the same. So, I understand.

I think you need to heal first. Even if it takes a few years.

I don´t think your paying a price from a past life -- you´re living THIS life and paying a SOCIETAL price for leaving a marriage what was abusive.

You are (and always will be) more than your ´partner´ ´popularity´ or ´status´. These titles fluctuate anyway.

It´s very unfair that people judge and that family turn their backs when a marriage ends.
It´s not their marriage !
It´s not their life!!
It´s not their soul that was suffering !!

I am sad you weren´t shown more compassion and support. No wonder you´re hurting.
How VERY selfish of them ALL.

Take PRIDE in the fact that you were strong enough to DO a very brave thing.

Now take that strength and FOCUS. Do NOT let your work suffer -it´s your anchor right now.
Work gives you purpose and financial independence. Don´t let this go. You´ll really be aimless if this happens.

Stop worrying and start rebuilding yourself and your life.

Let go of the past and those who were not there for you. That chapter is over.

Take this time to develop YOU.

Done right, you´ll look back and see this may be the biggest BLESSING of your life.
September 22, 2019 at 18:55
(Aquarius) nikkia » fishscales
I agree. 100%.

My take on Rahu is different than those who believe in punishing Karma. Rahu can point the way to where you are supposed to go. It´s your future. So, this is actually a good thing.

Also, it´s very interesting to me why marriage is the ´end- all-and- be- all´. Marriage is only one part of life, and there´s so much in Life to embrace. It think it´s imperative to be a WHOLE person first.

Perhaps Rahu will help - not hurt - in becoming Whole again. Go with it !
September 22, 2019 at 12:35
(Pisces) fishscales
I´m not going to give you any astrological advice or insight about what may happen in your future, because it sounds like worrying and thinking about your future is part of the problem here.

It sounds like you´ve got alot going on internally at present, and need to do some healing in the here and now.

Don´t worry about the future, when and if you will get married again, what dasha is coming, or any of that.

Concentrate on getting yourself to feel better right now... as in within each moment. If you really look at it, this moment is all you have for sure. Be grateful for that, give all your energy to the present moment, and don´t waste your moments wringing your hands (and your mind and heart) about what may or may not happen in the future. Don´t grasp, just interact generously and open-heartedly with the here and now.

There´s alot of things you can do to give your mind a break from your worries and get yourself feeling better. Start a physical exercise regimen. Go for walks. Try tai chi or yoga. Rediscover an old hobby, or take up a new one that you´ve always wanted to try. Try meditation or relaxation techniques. Find reasons to laugh. Remember what it was like to be a kid when you had no agenda, and did things you enjoyed just for the sake of doing them. Try to recapture that. You can still be a responsible adult and maintain that childlike attitude. The two things are not mutually exclusive.

Give yourself a break! :1:

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