I don´t understand myself - Discussions, questions

Sunnyshadow » aprrilangel I´m far from an expert, I´m sure theres a lot more to be found in your chart, but I read a lot about pluto since it´s in my 1st house and "they" say it´s a powerful placement in any house, but ´specially in the 1st, 4th, 7th and 10th. Cardinal? Houses or whatever it´s called. Everytime I read about my pluto placement I´m like, yep, that´s me. But of course theres lots more to a chart than that.

aprrilangel » aprrilangel I wonder what the grand tribe between my sun, Lilith, and part of fortune mean?

aprrilangel » Sunnyshadow I have been known to have outburst. When my anxiety takes over and I don’t have time to process my emotions, yes I can get defensive. It’s kinda like a flight or fight response, the more I care the more intense the response.
I have never physically abused someone, but I have attacked myself out of anger.

Sunnyshadow Pluto in 7th house. Do you often attack people out of defensiveness? That´s something I studied a little one time trying to understand someone in my life.

aprrilangel » aprrilangel I always feel a deep inner pain. I try to wish it away.

aprrilangel » ram_goat I am able to suppress my emotions for later, I hate to be a burden. Agreed with the Aries part, we are a lot wiser than we are given credit for. I think it’s a bit different for me being a 12th house sun.

ram_goat » aprrilangel emotionally cancer moons tend to know no boundaries.. like a person walking around with an open topped cup that has to much liquid in it.. spilling dribs and drabs everywhere. Sometimes you need to be your own obi-wan and tell your crazy heart "these are not the droids you are looking for" when some strong emotion comes over you suddenly out of the blue demanding to be felt or expressed. Aries impulsivity is not helpful at these times, but aries can be a lot wiser than they are given credit for. wisdom seems to be that one thing left in pandoras box that gets overlooked in favor of "outgoing" "agressive" "likes sports and competition". There is more to the archetype than just the top 10 most common traits. Same is true of cancer moon.. the cancer archetype contains more things than are commonly talked about. Got to dig past the surface.

fishscales » aprrilangel "I’m slowly starting realize that it’s ok to be vulnerable"

That´s good. We´re most vulnerable about the things that we value in life, whatever they may be...but it´s hard to have the things we value IN our life unless we open ourselves up to them, even if we run the risk of getting hurt.

I didn´t figure this out until relatively recently, so you´re way ahead of the game at this point.

aprrilangel » fishscales Thank you! I’m slowly starting realize that it’s ok to be vulnerable. Letting others know how I feel releases my anxiety, it feels so awkward though.

fishscales » aprrilangel "I don’t know about you, but I can only feel my emotions when I’m alone. I feel emotionally dead in public."

This could possibly be because your moon (emotions) is inconjunct your midheaven (your public image, how you want to be perceived by the public.) An inconjunct, or quincunx, aspect shows a disconnect between two planets, or in your case, a planet and a point. The energies trapped in an inconjunct just can´t seem to work together. It´s similar to an opposition in that way, but more internal. It´s a very irritating aspect. (I know, I have several of them.) The first step in dealing with a quincunx is conscious realization of the problem, which you apparently already have. Your next step is to try and make a conscious effort to integrate your emotions into your public life. It won´t feel natural at first, but keep trying...while at the sane time not trying TOO hard, if you know what I mean. "The more we tighten our grip, the easier things slip through our fingers." I think that is a good line to keep in mind when trying to handle the quincunx. (To anyone who notices, yes, I know I just ripped off a Star Wars quote. )

ram_goat » aprrilangel Is that a grand trine and a kite I see in your chart, too?

ram_goat » aprrilangel yeah that is a coping skill. careful. that one cuts both ways.
I have cap rising so my moon (emotions) directly oppose my rising (outer personality). Yeah I understand that one very well. Lived it for many
year until I learned to do better, painfully, slowly.. life doesn´t come
with and instruction manual.

find the other cancer moons here. you´ll feel like you found your people.
lot of gemmi sun/cancer moons here too. not so many aries/cancer. we´re a
rarer breed within a rare breed.

hopefully more cancer moons will chime in. there are quite a few here.
I always joke in private about forming a cancer moon club. All the poor
cancer moons have similar problems..

/whispers: (but the gemini ones are simply nuts..)

/ducks & runs..


.

ram_goat » aprrilangel yes, try being a guy with a cancer moon.

to fulfill society´s expectation of your gender role you
get 2 choices- go emo or channel it all into being a
Grade A Chauvanist asshole. Thanks, stars, universe..

Nice thing as you get older society allows you to do more as
you please.. but the early years are rough.

CapiSun » aprrilangel You are welcome, love. Be strong.

aprrilangel » CapiSun Thank you! ??

CapiSun » aprrilangel Feeling like a walking contradiction is an understandable emotion when you are an aries sun with a gemini ascendant, and cancer moon. I am sure you feel like you have multiple personalities. The sign of gemini itself is a very versatile and changeable sign..so that could be what is making you feel conflicted with how you portray yourself, and how you feel inside.

It does sound like a confusing, yet interesting mix. It can definitely be managed with awareness and understanding.. Reading up about your sun, moon and rising is a great way to start understanding why you feel the way you do.. I understand how you feel, though. I am sure many people feel like walking contradictions with all of the different signs we are made up of. I know I do, so you are not alone.

aprrilangel » ram_goat I don’t know about you, but I can only feel my emotions when I’m alone. I feel emotionally dead in public.

aprrilangel » ram_goat Soooooo emotional ??‍♀️

ram_goat » aprrilangel oh yet another member of the cancer moon club...

nutelina is an honorary member.. he´s taurus moon but aries cancer rising.
that has to be as hard as being aries sun cancer moon..

look at your moon first..

aprrilangel » CapiSun Whatever you see that you know! I am always conflicted, I feel like a walking contradiction which makes it hard for me to understand myself. I feel lonely and don’t know why people find me intimidating, I’m 5’0” 95lbs!

CapiSun What exactly do you need help with? Can you be a little more specific? I am not especially versed in interpeting all aspects in a birthchart, but I´m willing to give it a shot for you based on what I DO know.