synastry with my husband

March 17, 2023 at 18:49 (UT/GMT)
(Scorpio) Silvik
synastry with my husband
It is the synastry between my husband and me.
We love each other very much but lately we argue more.
Sometimes we don´t understand each other. This has happened since my children were born. I think we have very different perspectives regarding their education. How do you see it?
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March 19, 2023 at 12:10
(Scorpio) Silvik » Linda Harris
Actually right now I don´t see it as a great sacrifice, I think that everything happened for a reason and during these years I have had a lot of satisfaction, but certainly even though my life stopped, the years continue to pass and I am afraid one day to feel that resentment that you comment and begin to think that I have "lost" many years of my life. I appreciate your advice and I look forward to your response
March 18, 2023 at 23:02
Linda Harris » Silvik
Sweetheart.....you STOPPED your life in its TRACKS when you got pregnant...and at the same time you lost your Mom...
Actually you lost your MOMENTUM...of your life.

You began thinking of your life as EITHER/OR ...when that is not true.

When you decided to have another child...that is the time you should be looking at...because that is when you gave up the idea of going back to work once your child was old enough to have a nanny or someone to watch it.

Of COURSE you are dependent upon your husband...you put yourself in that position.

What you need is to remember all the things you liked doing BEFORE you were married...the hobbies, activities...etc, and try get some of that BACK into your life so that you are NOT so dependent upon him.

Meanwhile, in my first post to you I listed several things that could be toxic to a marriage which are really not the FAULT of either party....

and certainly you listed several things which come into those categories...especially the work issues.

You are a married woman and a mother ...but you are STILL a person also...and that person still needs to have some part of her life besides being a wife and mother...

You are resentful. And that is not good. You need to have independent activities and also possibly go back to work and make your own money again.

Most women do this...you need to find a way for YOU to do this.

i have not looked at the composite yet...I will ...and get back to you..but I think the advice above is important. It´s just plain common sense.

Linda
March 18, 2023 at 15:11
(Scorpio) Silvik » Rapmas
Hello Rapmas
Thank you for your comment. It is true that he has a hard time making decisions, he always comes to me for guidance but when he is sure of something he can be too stubborn... It is possible that you are right and I am the one who sees the conflict and who have to fix it.
He is not too aware that there is a problem and seems satisfied with the situation. I think my Sun, Saturn and Pluto in 7th house make me much more dependent on him than I would like. I am much deeper and more intense than him, and it is possible that sometimes he does not understand my way of being and feels insecure with me
March 18, 2023 at 14:24
Rapmas
"But I also have a lot of character and in that we clash a lot."

....................................

Surely, you may have " a lot of character". That´s you, and so it´s like it has to be. You have to keep that "character" but in this situation, you are the only one who is able to create a way out. You have to think about it, like you do here on this forum, and try something. you have to look at your husband, and try to see where his unnecessary and harmful dominance and criticism come from. Try something inside your both loving relationship. I expect his emotional health will get better then.
March 18, 2023 at 09:25
Rapmas
"Lately (since the pandemic) he has had a phobia of traveling and elevators, it limits him a lot because every time we travel he feels very anxious and has unbearable back pain. Last week he had to make a business trip and he had a really bad time Could this transit have something to do with this situation?"

........................................

Yes, the phobia, the back pain and the bad time could have. Look at the Suns. According to some astrologers, the position of Sun in a chart is very important. His Sun is in Libra in 10 and ruler of own house. Libra has some difficulty to make decisions, but when Libra has made them, one is n´t able to come back on it. Libra is a male sign. Your Sun is in Scorpio in 7 and ruler of its own house. Scorpio is a female sign, very strong and so-called ruler of the night ( compared with Sun as ruler of the day) .

In synastry the struggle (square) happens between your Sun in 7 in Scorpio and his Moon in Leo, the sign of Sun, in 8. House 8 is among others shock experiences, death and near to death experiences and subconsciously stored memories of all these heavy things. Your husband can´t cope the tension about education and other issues between you. His feeling of safety, his self-esteem diminishes, and that generates some kinds of strange fear.

I think it´s up to you to find a way out out of this situation. He doesn´t see the naked issue and can´t cope it. Your Sun is in 7.
March 18, 2023 at 08:07
(Scorpio) Silvik » ~Laura~
Thank you very much, Laura
It´s funny, it always seemed the other way around.
I used to be the introvert and he used to be the extrovert.
He loves to socialize, make friends, be the center of attention, I try to stay out of it.
He really likes to contribute to the community and feel important and necessary.
It is completely true that he tries to be dominant and control situations. But I also have a lot of character and in that we clash a lot. He is also very responsible and upright. We both give up a lot in matters of education, the difference is that I don´t give it importance and he always reminds me of all his concessions.
Lately (since the pandemic) he has had a phobia of traveling and elevators, it limits him a lot because every time we travel he feels very anxious and has unbearable back pain. Last week he had to make a business trip and he had a really bad time Could this transit have something to do with this situation?
March 18, 2023 at 07:50
(Scorpio) Silvik » GoldenlionXXXII
Hi Goldenlion
You are quite right, children need to learn from everyone and gain experiences, which is why I like that grandparents, cousins, uncles are part of their lives... but I also think it is important that there is some agreement between what their mother says and what his father says.
Even if we are two totally different people and they see it, when it comes to educating them there must be unity between us. I really like the idea of ​​making a list. Thank you!
March 18, 2023 at 06:55
(Scorpio) Silvik » Linda Harris
Hello Linda. First, I apologize if I explaine myself well.

I have noticed some estrangement since my oldest daughter was born almost 7 years ago.
I didn´t give it importance because life as a couple usually changes with children. I quit my job when I got pregnant, and he always encouraged me with it.
Actually, in just over a year, a lot happened. I had a career crisis, my mother died suddenly, we got married, I got pregnant, and I finally quit my job. I think all the things that happened during that year changed me. a lot but they also keep blocking me, they don´t let me move forward. I feel stagnant and he continues to prosper. I think I´m to blame for this for having dedicated myself totally to the children, leaving my own life aside.
But for a few months we have discussed more. Before we had many things in common, now we don´t.
He is a very good and caring father.
But he is much more focused on his hobbies and his work and his family seems to be in the last place. We don´t have economic problems, and our families are well treated.
I had problems with my mother-in-law for a while, but in general we got along well.
I think the problem may be a lack of communication and the fact that we don´t do things together as a couple.
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March 18, 2023 at 06:45
~Laura~
SilvikK84
""We love each other very much but lately we argue more.
Sometimes we don´t understand each other. This has happened since my children were born. I think we have very different perspectives regarding their education. How do you see it? ""

Hi Silvi -

to analyze a synastry one always has also to look at both natal charts with actual transits. As each partner is always also shaped from own actual transits.

It is visible in your synastry, that you both have an intense, loving deep connection with each other and that children are also important for you in your marriage. His 5th house cusp love and romance nearly overlays your ASC and his 8th house cusp falls on your IC -house of soul-cusp. Both northnodes conj. each other - but each in another house and life theme of your charts.

IMO you both already know each from a previous live before. And have to solve something in this life which has been left open in a past life. His 8th house leo moon ruling his 8th house - karmic relationships - falls in your 5th house - passionate love and romance and house of children. His saturn ruling his 2nd house - own values and what one sees as worthy falls in your 7th house - relationship - conj. your sun as your 5th house love and romance ruler.

But your husband from his chart energies is completely different to you(rs) ...
a) because he is a man and you are a woman and
b) because he is a more an introvert type - having all his planets except moon in the left side of the chart. 6 planets in the impersonal 4th quarter - 10th to 12th house of his chart - he has an inner need to play as visible role outside in public, to have a good reputation and to give a personal contribution to society - to feel his own life as senseful.
You have most of your planets - except moon in 1st and mars in 10th are on the right side of your chart and you have a fill placed 7th house - much focussed on your relationship.

And your husband is a proud man and used to be the rules teller - his ASC is sag with mars in cap in - his jupiter is strong placed in own ruled 1st house but in capricorn. Sun in 10th house. And different to you - the matter of education is seen as different important by him - as you see it. His 9th house is in fix sign leo ruled by sun - sun in 10th house - with saturn/sun energy - he is a responsible leadership taker - used to tell the rules and to know how it is right and should be for him to seen as right and correct.

In your chart education 9th house is in mutable sign of sag with neptune in - more generous. 9th house ruled by jupiter and jupiter in cap in 9th house, too. Both education houses in fire signs - but his more strict and male dominated. And this will not change. As his moon ruling 8th house is also in fix sign leo - a persisting not giving up energy and not to be told easily from the outside. And his cap mars out of this 1st house - conj. -is sitting on your jupiter - this doesn´t make the matter of ecucation -easy for you - to discuss it with him.

And his moon is still transit activated by transit uranus by square - he has actually to cope with a lot of feelings inside of himself for a transformation and also old stuff coming up again from past experience -to liberate himselffrom - even he doesn´t tell much about. But this transit will end soon.

And his sun has been squared a while by transit pluto - but this transit is already finished now.
March 18, 2023 at 03:46
(Sagittarius) GoldenlionXXXII
You are mirroring the same soul lessons with planets so it´s taking your focus off the other person and healing yourself. Education is really an illusion. You can be educated through all types of schooling since there are trade schools, universities, colleges, training at work, life long-learning by your self, self-taught, home schooling, religious schools.

Pretty much life is education on the Clock your looking at in Astrology. Online and offline courses.

If you learn math does it matter where you learn math as long as you master math.
Same with language, science, and other basic studies.

You might just both be attached to your own idea of how Education should be accomplished.

In my own experience i just went through many avenues all my life.

The important thing is your children just learn what they need to learn versus having to have it occur a certain way.

I would just make a list of pro´s and con´s and have your husband do he same and sit and down together and discuss it your point of views. Do some research and try to meet in the middle where you both find common ground and both agree. You both can be right at the same time, but you have to listen to one another and hear each other why it may work or not work.

There really is no reason to argue, but just lay out the facts, research, and then decide.
March 18, 2023 at 00:03
Linda Harris
2 things: first you said "lately"...so how long is that?

Next, please post a COMPOSITE chart for with you and your husband. We can look at the transits and see if some energy is disrupting your relationship.

Also: if someone is not feeling well...or money is tight...or there was disappointment in career...or trouble with family....these issues often impact the marriage...even tho neither person is responsible for the problems.
Linda


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