I wrote a book

June 22, 2022 at 18:53 (UT/GMT)
(Aquarius) atlantickush
I wrote a book

I just wrote a book if you are interested. Here is the link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/…

Its a collection of essays on some topics I am interested in, with a bit of a personal biography in the first one about losing my marbles when I was young. Thats actually the reason for the title, which is ´A Fool´s Gnosis´, which is to say, yes you have Gurdjieffs and Carl Jungs who are exceptional writers, thinkers, mystics, and combine it all pretty well... Im not one of them, but it doesnt mean I cant write a book or come out with some wise stuff every now and then?! Therefore, its ´A Fool´s Gnosis´, rather than ´A Great Mystics Gnosis.´

After that it just becomes a bit of esoteric non-fiction. I coined the term ´stoner-chat with references´ to describe the genre, which I think describes it fairly well. I am just a fairly well read lay person with interests in Astrology, dreams, esoteric stuff, bit of science, and just understanding life really, so if you feel the same way I hope you might have a read.

Theres a picture of the cover below.

Oh also, I published it under a pseudonym, in line with the tradition of doing so, especially during the medieval period. They most likely did it to stop being burnt at the stake. I also just like the idea though because I felt like the words arent really mine, at least the day to day version of me, which works in an office and talks about what my plans are for the weekend. The name ´Ursuserpens Antivestaeum´ translates as ´Bear-Snake Land´s End´.

Take it easy guys. Stay well.
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June 24, 2022 at 08:34
(Aquarius) atlantickush » nutelina
>The more if we share pictures, even of our loved ones... This is a bad idea. And no one is interested in spies, creeps and what not.

Advice taken.
June 24, 2022 at 08:18
(Aquarius) atlantickush » Ghost00
Thank you so much :6:
June 24, 2022 at 00:23
(Capricorn) Ghost00
This book, or title as we say in the biz, features some very insightful, enthralling and starkly original content. Reminds one reader of Mark Twain or what the dickens, Charles?! Can´t stop reading it, can´t put book down love it. Stuck at airport in Japan, great way 4 me to pass time. :79:
June 23, 2022 at 22:50
(Aquarius) atlantickush » nutelina
>I don´t really like words

No I dont either. Because of that I try to be very careful with them, hence the book. If words are a necessary evil, I would rather become adept at using them.

>I´m eager to read that book, but not very willing to give Amazon my money. I severely dislike Jeff Bezos

I understand. I did look around at the best place to self publish because Amazon isnt ideal at all, but the print on demand package is pretty good. I do have some hardcover versions if you´d like one, printed locally, but they are triple the price :41:

>I never liked computers but I did love analogue things like vinyl records, those quirky sounds from old Arps, Moogs and such

Me too. I am really unhappy with the way tech has come to dominate our lives, and like you say, its actually unpleasant in comparison to tactile stuff anyway.

:152: :191: :162: is supposed to be pretty significant for schizophrenia. Like you say though its a weird diagnosis, as most mental illness is. The debate around psychiatry is really interesting. Who gets to say whats the right or wrong way to think? You educate yourself enough and you realise that a lot of what is ´known´ is really not as certain as you had hoped it was. Then even if there is an empirical basis for mental illness, the method of diagnosis is even more uncertain still. A lot of it is just talking, and then the Dr. after a few hours decides whether you are mad or not. Where did he learn about the mysteries of life from? How can you tell if hes mistaken, or the patient, or both? You cant. People are always making completely huge errors in their conclusions. We dont know nearly enough to say whether public participation or being in a good mood all te time (or whatever it is) is the best thing for you. But the guy with the degree and the job gets to go around saying ´shes mad and shes not´. That said, it doesnt invalidate the idea that we have vastly different experiences worthy of categorising and investigating. But yeh, the PS one and the medical generalisations in general arent great. They focus only on whats wrong, and I think probably cause a lot of low self esteem and misplaced attention on peoples´ limitations.

The history of mental illness is DARK. People love thinking they are helping, making things better, its a noble cause - but the ways theyve gone about it have been awful. Typical ´we know best´ and ´trust the authorities´, someone else always knows whats best. Jung said it best in the Red Book when he said ´bettering has all become wrong and evil´. He nailed it. People have this obsession with tinkering with things, even to the point of tinkering with peoples minds, and its mostly just led to things like electro-shock therapy and lobotomies. The documentary on lobotomies is really interesting, really sad though.

The Dinosaurs thing was just being 10 years old. I was a huge nerd for them. I liked everything about them - the scary predators, the weird long necks and shield-faces and stuff, the vast time scales, the story of how we found them. Essentially though they represented a part of the history of life on Earth.
June 23, 2022 at 20:30
(Taurus) nutelina » atlantickush
>The reason I was successful writing was probably because I made it an evening routine, to cook and clean and then relax with no TV or phone, my notepad, a glass of rum and a candle.

I was asking because of this. I´m not sure if I would want to write a novel, maybe more a scientific paper. It would be shorter and I would not waste words. I would be my own worst critic.

I don´t really like words, I have little air in my chart. Hence I asked because the condition as well as the astrological pattern might be related although I think people use astrology to explain phenomena better suited to scientific methods. Astrology is not scientific at all currently and sneered at. I wouldn´t dare come up with it at my department.

I can often not come up with the right words, I am visual. This might be explained with astro-psychology. I had more results then with real psychological methods. But as you wrote, the medical side might be much more important. An imbalance in the chemistry of the brain or such trauma can lead to , neurotransmitters are being fabricated by gut bugs! I wish you could disclose m ore but I would value your privacy more. The trouble with this site is the more you disclose the easier it is to pinpoint who you actually are in real life. No one wants that. The personal details already reveal too much. I have pointed this fact out but no one would do anything about it. This is an ongoing problem in my view and while not being addressed, my concern grow to the point of leaving this site all together. The more if we share pictures, even of our loved ones... This is a bad idea. And no one is interested in spies, creeps and what not.

As for writing, I really prefer minimalist as you wrote, I only enjoy reading on paper or e-ink nowadays. That´s why I went with the Remarkable 2, I think it is from Norway but I keep thinking Denmark. These Scandinavian countries are well known for their design. As with the German people, they are quite adept and more than capable of producing high quality, superbly designed products which are a joy to use. With age also come eye-sight problems. Thank God we don´t have CRT monitors but LCD are also such a strain I hope we will have something better soon.

I was hoping someone would make a keyboard to such e-ink computers and incorporate natural materials and fibres to make, as you pointed out, seamless and joyful experiences. I never liked computers but I did love analogue things like vinyl records, those quirky sounds from old Arps, Moogs and such. Direct feedback, no delays, menus whatsever. People complained the Remarkable couldn´t do much but I like it exactly for that reason.

As for paranoid schizophrenia, who can make such a diagnosis and how does it present itself I wonder. No need to answer, again these are very private matters but I do wonder. I think air placements suffer from this the most. I think :177: :152: is not such a support like :172: :152: or other earth :152:. I´m also glad we have finally Unicode characters and don´t have to hassle with things like Latex (not the gloves but the mathematical writing tool). Hence I was so much more productive on a Macintosh then a PC.

So if you don´t mind me asking? Is it voices or is it personalities? Like I wrote, not familiar with Air but water can be tricky too. :182: :152: can be very sensitive like water risings. :181: is also I think a sign, prone too melancholic or odd behaviour, my :181:friends are all a little bit weird. But I do enjoy their ideas. Just don´t count on their timing. Here earth shows it´s old Sun, Saturn.

And last but not least, are dinosaurs something which have a deeper meaning, connected to early history or was it just an inspiration by the movies?

Take care and I´m eager to read that book, but not very willing to give Amazon my money. I severely dislike Jeff Bezos. He is an absolute creep. For that matter I would prefer Elon Musk any day! More handsome too. Bezos has two eyes which don´t seem related to each other! :39: Forgive me, I am very critical when it comes to how people behave or look. It does not mean I condemn them, but if they are in such positions...
June 23, 2022 at 18:39
(Aquarius) atlantickush » nutelina
Hey, thanks!

The book itself took literally no time to write, because I´d spent the whole of 2020 talking to two friends via voice-note. We had a bit of a philosophers corner going on, and I think it organised what I wanted to say. The editing and publishing has taken over a year though!

On an astrological note, I realised I had always written around every one of my Jupiter returns. I wrote a Jurrasic Park style novel around my first, I wrote hundreds of pages of just weird personal stuff around my second, and the book was written during my third.

My work ethic for this type of thing was already there to a certain extent. Im a saturn trine mars in aries, and like a challenge. Ive always made music and painted for long periods, I´m just a hobbyist I suppose, I like doing things. The reason I was successful writing was probably because I made it an evening routine, to cook and clean and then relax with no TV or phone, my notepad, a glass of rum and a candle.

As for the PS, I did meds for 10 years (A-typical anti-psychotics), but then got a Jungian therapist and have never taken the meds since. Meds were quite good to a certain extent, but they arent as good as taking care of yourself, having a support group, eating well and being fit and healthy. Taking meds seems to make you rely on them, but sometimes you wouldnt even need them if you addressed the root causes.

I think your quite right to make that observation. Mine is definitely triggered by stressful or traumatic events, and I think everyone can become a bit PS-y under the right circumstances even if they dont have it. In my opinion, something happens to threaten/traumatise the person, and this starts a fear and withdrawal as a self defence mechanism, but that withdrawal fuels the fear, which fuels more withdrawal. In cultures where you actually are feared and ostracised for having it, no wonder the illness gets exacerbated.

The illness itself gets a bit easier with age as well possibly, Ive learnt to recognise a lot of the signs and adapted my life to suit it. Ive cut all the unwanted stress out and accepted I cant just party all the time or have the same type of fun as your ´normal´ people. Thats actually not a bad thing too, tbf, but just different. Its probably how I had the time to write a book!

Sorry for the dissertation, hope it answers everything!
June 23, 2022 at 13:40
(Taurus) nutelina
A quick reply; "hat off". How long did it take you? Did you write it in periods? Would like to know more about work ethics.. I´m scatterbrained...


"The first essay is a reflection on coping with paranoid schizophrenia during the turbulent 2020 pandemic. This memoir is an honest and philosophical take from the authors personal experience."

Did you solve this state? I´ve read about lithium orate IIRC? I took it myself to test once. Also Borax as to clean the pituitary gland, that was quite a ride! Like being on an milder acid trip... But just the 1st time. I was very scared! But in the end all quiet down and fine ever since. Not that I had PS. But I was interested in the health of my brain. And that of my children of course.

I have seen severe emotional trauma trigger PS. It´s a reaction of the body to survive. I wouldn´t take Western Medication ever more. Since they are loaded with toxic fluoride compounds. Take Prozac as an example. Not good! Hence the borax. (I never took such poison called ´medicine´, it is not. I suggest looking up the definition of allopathic medicine. Sorry for the unwanted advice.)

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